CHAPTER TEN

‘Told you I ran into some glass, didn’t I?’

‘Yes, you did.’

‘It was a broken bottle that was being held by some bastard who was gonna stick it to my mum. That’s what done it,’ he continued to stroke the scarred side of his face.

‘You tell me this, boy, only if that is what you wish,’ Esther said. ‘It is your choice. It is your decision.’

‘Never told no one else. Not ever. There is not much to tell. You gotta understand one thing, Esther.’

‘I will try to.’

‘My mum has had to do all sorts of stuff just to keep me. See, she’s never found it easy, has Mum, to hold down your regular sort of job. My mum just isn’t your regular nine-to-fiver.’

‘I am surely able to sympathise with that, my dear,’ said Esther. ‘I was never one myself. Well, let’s just say, unless there was absolutely no option.’

‘She doesn’t manage some restaurant or anything like that. Not like I think I might have told you. Mum works nights in a bar. She’s a barperson. She’s always done that sort of stuff. It doesn’t pay too good so she does other stuff. You know, stuff that keeps the roof over our heads. I am not ashamed of it and I’m sure as shit not ashamed of Mum. She’s a part-time sex worker, is Mum.’

‘So?’

‘You know what I mean?’

‘When you’ve lived as long as I have, boy, and living the sort of life I have lived, it is not difficult for me to know what you mean.’

‘You’re not shocked?’

‘Do I seem shocked? Do I sound shocked? Do I look shocked?’

‘It’s hard to tell,’ said Damon. ‘Let’s face it, plenty of people would be. Like her old man and her old lady – my grandparents – if they’re not dead and I hope like hell they are. Serve ’em right. Shit, I sure hope they are,’ he was quiet for a short time.

‘These days she works two, maybe three shifts a week in the bar and then she does three or four other nights for an old friend of hers who runs this house. Nice place. Been there a few times,’ he looked at Esther. ‘Just for something to eat, that’s all. Quite an okay joint compared to some around town. She makes a good living these days, does Mum. It’s sure easier now I earn a few bucks slaving my guts out for Mickey the Chink. Just now and then she has a private punter, customer, over at our place. Usually someone she’s known for yonks. Generally I know them, too, that’s if I spot them.’

‘You love your mother, don’t you?’

‘Of course I bloody love her! She’s my mum and she’s just about all I got. Doesn’t mean we don’t get to live our own separate lives. Yeah. She’s just about all I got. Back when this happened,’ fingers to the face. ‘Things weren’t as sweet as they are now for us. No bloody way!’

‘No?’

‘No. Often she had guys over at our place, seamen off the boats, travellers, trash – a helluva lot of them. Not our place we live in now. Been a lot of places we lived. Been a lot of places we been chucked out of, too,’ and then everything came out in a rush. ‘Was her screaming her head off woke me up. Shit, I can still feel it all and see it all and I was only five, nearly five, just a little nipper, me. Just a little wee guy. There was this great big dude. A gorilla dude. He had Mum by the neck in one hand and this broken fuckin’ beer bottle in the other. Fuckin’ Jesus, he was gonna do ’er! I know he was. She was done for, was Mum. I threw me in between the two of them. Me! Just a little fuckin’ weed! Guess I must’ve thought in some dumb kid way I could do something. Shit!! Stupid bloody kid. I took that broken bottle right in the face. Mum got knocked on the head. Knocked fuckin’ senseless, she was. Guess the gorilla shot through. Dunno. Jesus, I dunno. Dead dumb thing for me to do but I guess it might have saved her. Trouble was I bled like a stuck pig and I didn’t go out and get any help from people – not that where we lived you were likely to get any help, anyway. Just about all bums where we lived then. All I did was cling on to my mum. I think I might’ve thought she was dead! It wasn’t for hours and hours before she come round and there was me hangin’ on to her for grim bloody death. Bloody? You got no idea, mate, just how bloody. Was blood all over her and blood all over me. Swimming in it, we was. Swimming in a fuckin’ pool of blood. And it didn’t turn out okay. Not for me it didn’t. I got this,’ fingering again. ‘And it won’t go away. Too late getting to the hospital for a good, clean stitch-up job. There was glass ’n dirt ’n shit all in this side of my face. Was in hospital for God knows how long. Been back to fuckin’ hospital God knows how many times. Know enough about this bloody shit to be a doctor or a nurse without any more stuffin’ training! This fucking thing goes with me… grows with me…’ he stopped.

‘It is less than you think,’ the old woman extended a hand.