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AND SO, I AM ALMOST Queen. Of the Realm and all who reside within it. What a scary thought.
We are heading outside, and I sneak a look into the great hall, and Cook has outdone herself. I can’t help but think back to my feast, the Kingmaker’s feast, less than two weeks ago.
How has so much happened and so much changed in such a short time?
This is far more splendid, though, and I have far more reason to smile, though I’m finding it hard. I’m not due to be sacrificed any time soon, but I have lost my father, Halfreda, Lanorie, Weaver and Ginata.
And my two brothers.
I am sad, despite all they did wrong. They were my brothers and I loved them a lot longer than I hated them, they did many more good things than bad, but the bad was so bad I’ll never forget it. At least they are both dead now and I don’t have to worry about forgiving them.
And Ginata, I am heartbroken that my judgment was so off course with her. She insisted that she hadn’t betrayed me, but I believed my brother instead of her. How could I do that? I knew, more than anyone, what he’d turned into, how manipulative, how evil. But I took his word. What an awful way for her to die, after all the help she gave me. Believing that we all hated her. I cannot think of her. I will – she deserves that, but right now, with these people here and the teacher waiting to crown me, I cannot lose it.
Millard would have loved that.
I make my way to the dais and this crowd is unlike anything I have ever seen, and I feel a little bit like an outsider, just an observer. I know some of the visitors to the castle don’t think a girl can rule, especially not a little girl like me. They think the Realm will be unsteady with me at the helm, and that I have no idea what it will be like to rule day in and day out.
They are all right.
Of course, I have no idea. Of course, I’m petrified. Of course, I want to get it right, and with the whole Realm waiting for me to slip up, I’m determined to be a good Queen. A better Queen than a King.
I feel sick as I make my way through the crowd, smiling and waving, hoping I am ready for this, right for this. I have nothing but my instincts and my little band of helpers. Della will help to look after Addyson, moving into the castle and keeping her safe and happy.
Ceryn and Archer will protect me and the Realm, run the army and – hopefully – I will have a peaceful reign.
Will and the teacher will be my wise advisors; Will has never had the head of a fool, no matter how much he likes to mess around, and I’ll always trust his advice and the teacher, well without him I wouldn’t have Archer and I wouldn’t have anyone to crown me. I owe him so much.
“Queen.” Archer bows to me. “Are you ready?”
I nod. “Just a little overwhelmed. I think I thought that ruling would be like a play or a story. A young Queen, running the Realm and being in charge. It’s a little bit scarier now I’m here. What do I do all day? What do I say? Where do I go? I didn’t spend any time with my father learning any of this stuff. There was no need. Macsen and Millard knew everything about the Realm. All of the behind the scenes stuff. I’m clueless.”
“You can make new rules. It will be just fine, I promise you.” He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. I feel a tingle as his skin touches mine.
I smile. Whatever happens from here on in I won’t be alone.
I watch Addyson take her place on the dais, Della watching her, a loving look on her face. She’s like the mother she never had. Ceryn is sitting with Will, and they are laughing together.
I walk forwards, ready to be crowned. My eyes take in the crowd, my friends, all of the people I love, who love me, and I am filled with strength and purpose. I am ready to do this, ready for my reign and all it might bring me.
I will have everything I want.
Including Archer.