Bridesmaid Billie:
Pale pink chiffon dress (by Dinah)
Pale pink tights (Ballet Supplies)
Sparkly pink sandals (Lelli Kelly)
Pearl bead bracelet (Claire’s Accessories)
Pink pearl tiara (same)
Total est. cost: £80
‘It is so pink!’
Annie was taking her time in the changing room. This was the third shop and she was about to put on the fourth dress here.
It wasn’t that nothing had been good. It was just that nothing had been WOW, nothing had really wooed her the way that Matthew Williamson’s pink slice of genius had. The tempers of her fellow shoppers were holding up admirably, but she sensed that if nothing worked in this shop, they were going to have to have lunch and rethink the strategy.
She slipped off the third dress which had just been too… sigh… well, just too this and too that and not at all right. She turned her attention to the fourth and final frock. Secretly, she was hoping that this one would work. This was why she’d saved it for last. She’d wanted to rule out the other contenders in the hope that they would make this dress look like the best possibility. It was a pink silk halter neck dress. It was perfectly plain. No beading, so satin, no slithery on-the-bias cut, but it was a deep and vibrant shade of screaming pink. Not millions of miles from the Williamson in shape and colour.
She looked at herself briefly in the mirror. In the pink lace bra with the beige tummy-hugging knee-to-waist pants and strappy high pink heels, she looked quite something. Like Vivienne Westwood about to go to the Palace and meet the Queen, maybe. ‘D’you need a hand in there?’ Dinah wondered from the other side of the curtain.
‘No, no, I’ll be fine,’ Annie assured her. ‘I’m just getting the last one on. I’ll be out in a second.’
She slipped the dress from its hanger and slid it down over her head. She tied the straps into a bow at the nape of her neck, smoothed it down over her corseted contours and only then allowed herself to look in the mirror properly. A little smile formed at the sight. This was not bad. This was not at all bad. Maybe a big blowsy pink flower at the front, where the cleavage slipped a little too low? Pearls, she thought. Big chunky pearls. The shoes looked fantastic. The dress was a great length for leg flattery and it fitted well round the body. She took another glance at the price tag: £75! Seventy-five pounds! It was really a stunning dress for that money. She could squeeze people and be squeezed all day long in a dress that cost £75. Really, even if it took a red wine or baby sick direct hit, she wasn’t going to mind too much. Maybe she should buy two, she thought wildly. Have a spare in case of a red wine or baby sick direct hit?
‘Come out!’ Dinah instructed. ‘You’ve found a good one, haven’t you? It’s the bright pink one, isn’t it?’
That girl could read her mind. She really could.
Annie pulled back the curtain with a flourish and stepped forward in her shoes.
‘Always, always take the shoes you want to wear with your outfit,’ she said out loud for the benefit of the camera. Because this wasn’t just a quiet family shopping trip, Bob the cameraman was here too. The ‘Scottish’ final episode of How Not To Shop’s second series had revealed Annie’s wedding plans, causing a fever of excitement amongst her viewers. Tamsin had told Annie there was no way on earth she could choose a wedding dress without them, so this footage was being shot for episode one of series three.
The cameras were going to catch up with Annie on her wedding day too, but only at the reception and only for a brief filming session.
‘Oooh, Mum!’ Lauren said. ‘That looks really nice.’
‘Really?’ Annie turned this way and that in front of both the mirrored wall and her little audience.
‘It’s not too—?’ she began.
‘No,’ Dinah answered firmly, ‘the only thing it is “too” is too lovely. Look at your lovely shoulders and your hot legs,’ she added, encouragingly. ‘It is so pink!’ Billie added, approvingly. She was dressed in her bridesmaid’s dress, just as Auntie Annie had instructed: ‘So as to make sure we match.’
Annie understood that when you were a little bridesmaid, there just weren’t enough opportunities to wear your fabulous dress, so some had to be created.
‘Will you come and stand beside me?’ Annie asked Billie and held out her hand to her. ‘Awwww,’ was Dinah’s reaction when her little girl in pale pink chiffon and sparkles went to stand beside her sister, ‘that looks really good.’
‘And Lauren,’ Annie encouraged, holding out her other hand to her daughter.
‘I’m not in my dress!’ Lauren protested but came over anyway.
‘I had noticed,’ Annie told her, ‘but you’re wearing black, so I can get an idea of how we’re all going to look together.’
‘Who says I’m wearing black?’ Lauren challenged her.
‘You know my new motto, babes: “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.”’
This made Dinah and Lauren giggle. They exchanged conspiratorial glances.
‘Have you got her to change her mind about the black?’ Annie asked her sister. ‘Really?’
‘Shhhh!’ Lauren insisted. ‘Just a clue?’ Annie begged. ‘One teeny, tiny little clue? That wouldn’t be asking too much, would it?’
‘Yes, it would,’ Lauren told her.
‘Is this the one then?’ Annie asked all three of them, plus the camera in turn.
All three heads, plus Bob’s, nodded solemnly. ‘You sure?’ Annie looked at herself in the mirror again, critically, appraisingly. ‘I was going to do pearls, plus a big pink flower in the cleavage. Maybe one of the assistants can get something like that for me… We can have a little try-out?’
When the flower and a chunky messy necklace of several strands of pearls were wrapped around Annie, she looked hard in the mirror and then really loved what she saw.
This was really her. Home accessorised.
This was her, much more than the Williamson with its beaded neckline already in place and its terrifyingly expensive folds. This was going to be the dress she could relax and say her vows in, relax and enjoy all the cuddles, hugs, sweat stains and tears of the day.
Now that she’d added the flower and the necklace and the shoes, she’d made it look just the way she wanted it to look.
‘It’s great,’ she told the camera with a wink, ‘perfect. Now just don’t let Ed see it before the big day.’
‘What about your bag, Mum?’ Lauren reminded her and went into the changing room to get the divine little gold YSL clutch out of Annie’s larger handbag.
As soon as the clutch was in her hand Annie was almost complete. ‘I just need my little bouquet of pink roses,’ she told her helpers.
Dinah pointed to the gold clutch: ‘Now that was totally not from the high street, was it?’ she asked.
‘Well, no.’ Annie tipped her head towards Bob’s camera lens again. ‘I know, I know, it’s not from the high street… but everyone needs a little touch of luxury on their wedding day and, darlin’s, this is mine. YSL,’ she added in a whisper.