Once upon a time two tribes of people inhabited an island in the western ocean. It was said that originally they had sprung from the same parents, but neither of the tribes believed this, the difference between them being too great. One of the tribes was known as Sharpheads, and the other as Dullards. They were of much the same colour and build, and it was this fact which made people say that they must have come originally from the same parents. If they resembled each other in appearance, they differed in nearly everything else. For the Sharpheads were masters and owners of everything. All the land on which the people grew their food; all the roads by which food was taken to the market; all the fine houses, and good clothes, and all the stone which built the houses, and the sheep on whose back grew the wool, and the machinery which turned wool into cloth. All the streams in which were speckled trout and silver salmon; all the birds and hares and rabbits, all the water which fell from the clouds, and all the minerals, such as coal and iron, which were hid away down in the earth till man should need them. In fact, they owned everything which Sharpheads and Dullards alike needed to keep themselves alive. The result of all this was that the Dullards were slaves to the Sharpheads. They did not call themselves slaves, and in fact used to sing that “Dullards never, never, never shall be slaves.”1 All the same they were slaves. For they required food to eat, and the Sharpheads owned all the food; they required clothes to wear in the cold weather, and the Sharpheads owned all the clothes; they required houses to live in, and the Sharpheads owned all the houses. Before the Dullards could either eat or sleep or lodge, they had to obtain the consent of the Sharpheads, which made the Sharpheads the masters and the Dullards their slaves, since the Dullards were bound to do as the Sharpheads wanted or perish of hunger and cold. In fact, thousands did perish in this way—some because they would not do everything the Sharpheads wanted, and others because the Sharp-heads had no use for them. It was these facts which made both sides scout the idea that they were drawn from a common stock. The Dullards said it was impossible, because if it were true, they and the Sharpheads would be brothers, and no brother could treat another as the proud Sharpheads treated them, whilst the haughty Sharpheads looked at the poor Dullard with his bent back and cringing voice, begging to be allowed to work for bread, and said “That my brother—ho! ho!! ho!!!”.
Now the affairs of this people were managed by a committee which they called the Great Pow-Wow, and those who were members of the Great Pow-Wow were called Chin Chiners. The Great Pow-Wow, like everything else, belonged to the Sharpheads, but there was one difference. Every five years the Chin Chiners had to come out from the Great Pow-Wow, and wait outside until they got a number of Dullards to hoist them on their shoulders and carry them back in. The Dullards could carry anyone in they pleased, either one of themselves or one of the Sharpheads, and if they had carried Dullards in then all the land, and the machinery, and the food, and the fine houses, would have been theirs, since whichever tribe sat in the Pow-Wow was the master of the other. But the Sharpheads had guarded themselves against being turned out—or thought they had, by dividing themselves into two divisions one of which was named Plumduff,2 because it was thought to be very dull and stupid, whilst the other was named Piecrust,3 because it made promises intending to break them when necessary. When Dullard carried Plumduff into the Great Pow-Wow all the Piecrust Chin Chiners spent the next five years in telling him he had made a mistake, since the Plumduffs were too stupid to do anything for them. The poor Dullards hearing this said without ceasing, would come at last to believe it, and when the five years were up they would carry in the Piecrusts and leave the Plumduffs out. Then the Plumduffs would spend five years in pointing out how many promises the Piecrusts were breaking and say they are deceiving you, we never deceive you, send us to the Great Pow-Wow and see what nice Chin Chiners we will make. Poor stupid Dullard with his short memory would believe this tale also, and at the end of five years he would leave the Piecrusts out and put the Plumduffs in. What he forgot was that Piecrusts and Plumduffs were Sharpheads, and that no matter what they called themselves so long as they ruled the Great Pow-Wow they were the masters and the Dullards were their slaves.
POOR STUPID DULLARDS!
(More next week. Telling how little Jack Clearhead taught the Dullards sense, and what happened).
Now it so happened that on the Island was a cave, in which dwelt the good fairy Common Sense. She had at one time dwelt with the Dullards, but they had driven her from them, and now she dwelt in a cave. Near the cave was the house of a Dullard who had married a clever wife, and who had one little boy named Jack. One day Jack’s mother sent him with his father’s dinner, and off the brave little fellow set, whistling and singing all the way. After his father had eaten his dinner he said, “Here, Jack, there’s a piece for you, which you can eat on the way home.”
“Thank you, dad,” said the little fellow, as he tied the bread up in a handkerchief and started for home.
On the way home he came to a spring, and sat down to eat the piece of bread which his father had given him. After eating a little while he felt thirsty, and knelt to drink of the cool water as it welled up out of the ground. When he lifted his head he saw a little old woman standing by the spring, and she said, “Good afternoon, little boy, would you give me a piece of your bread, I am hungry?”
“Oh, yes, lady,” said Jack, and he gave her all he had.
Now this old lady was a fairy, but Jack did not know this; and she was willing to befriend him. She had asked him for a piece of the bread which his father had given him, to see if he was greedy or no. When she found that he was willing to share his bread with her she was very much pleased.
She had an old bag with her which did not look as if it had anything of value in it, and Jack was greatly astonished to see her take out of it a nice, bright, bright sword.
“Now, little boy,” said the old lady, “you have been kind to me, and in return I am going to be kind to you. Take this sword, and whenever you are going to fight, take it with you and use it. You will find yourself in many battles as you grow older, and this sword will always help you to victory so long as you remain on the side of honesty and truth, and when you are going to use it, you must always repeat the following rhyme:—
“Sword, sword fight for me,
I belong to the I. L. P.”
And then before Jack knew where he was she had disappeared.
I have not yet told you that a number of great giants lived in the land in those days, and these, like everything else, belonged to the Sharp-heads, who used them to oppress the people. One of these giants was named Mon-o-Poly, and the other Com-pe-Tition. Cruel monsters they were, who devoured men and women and great numbers of little children every year. The Sharpheads knew how valuable these giants were to them, and so they pampered and fed them and got the Pow-Wow to pass laws to protect them. The poor Dullards had grown so used to these giants that they actually believed them necessary to their welfare, and allowed them to trample on their bodies and bruise and maim and kill them, and even went so far as to feed them with the bodies of their own children. Every year these giants killed thousands of grown-up people, and ate hundreds of thousands of little children, some of them only a few weeks old.
Com-pe-Tition was the eldest son of Mon-o-Poly, and it so happened that if the parent was destroyed the son could not live without him. Mon-o-Poly was an ugly, big-bellied monster, with fat cheeks, low forehead, small eyes, short legs, and flat feet. He waddled like a duck when walking, and spoke with a rasping voice, like the noise of sharpening a saw. His greed was insatiable, and he clutched everything which came within his grasp. His pockets were full of stones, and his hair was matted with earth which he had stolen. A dirty, gluttonous monster, who was hated by everybody who saw him.
Com-pe-Tition was of a different kind of ugliness. His eyes bulged out of his head, his cheek bones were high, and when he opened his big thick lips he showed a mouthful of cruel teeth always white and glistening. His arms and legs were long and bony, and for feet and hands he had claws like a bird of prey, with which to tear his victims in pieces. Sometimes these two used to sing after this fashion:—
MON-O-POLY—“Bang the coffin, beat the bones,
Break the skin and drink the blood;
How I love the shrieking tones
Of the children of the flood.
Ha, ha, ha!
He, he, he!
Happy, happy giants are we.”
COM-PE-TITION—
“Tear the children limb from limb,
Break the hearts of man and wife;
Tell them to repine is sin—
Death to them to us is life.
He, he, he!
Ha, ha, ha!
Jolly merry giants are we.”
One day as they were singing together, little Jack suddenly appeared before them.
“Hullo!” said Jack, going up to the two ogres as they sang their ugsome4 ditty, “what are you two fat heads up to?”
“Ho! ho! ho!” laughed Mon-o-Poly, “you are a fine imp, you are, to call us names. Do you know that if I liked I could get Com-pe-Tition to tear you with his claws and then crunch your bones with his teeth. So, ho! ho! ho! get out of my way at once.”
“Aha!” said Jack, “you think you could, but you just try it on,” saying which he drew his sword, and brandished it within an inch of Mon-o-Poly’s nose.
“That’s mine!” shrieked Mon-o-Poly. “Everything is mine, and unless you give it me at once I will eat you, I will.”
Fig. 3. Illustration for “Jack the Giant-Killer” from Routledge’s Nursery Book (1865). Stories of tiny Jack, Jack the Giant-Killer, Jack and the Beanstalk, or Jack Clearhead had great appeal for young readers. Private collection © Look and Learn / Bridgeman Images.
“All right greasy pouch,” laughed Jack, “you try and take it from me,” and he began to frisk round them, hitting Mon-o-Poly with the flat blade and touching Com-pe-Tition in a tender place with the point. The two began to dance, and howl like tamed bears with pain and anger, trying all the time to lay hold of their tormentor. “How do you like that, old big belly?” said Jack, as he gave Mon-o-Poly a smack on the stomach with his sword.
“Ow, ow, ow!” yelled the monster, “hit him Com-pe-Tition, hit him.”
“All right dirty head,” said Jack, “I’ll give him leave to hit me when he catches me.”
Com-pe-Tition here made a desperate lunge at the little warrior who, jumped aside and the monster fell headlong to the ground. Jack laughed and began to cut off with his sword some big carbuncles which were growing on Com-pe-Tition’s nose.
“Ow, ow,” yelled the giant, “come and help me daddy, come and help me. He’s cutting me all to bits.”
“Ow, ow,” answered Mon-o-Poly, “he’s hurt my stomach, my poor stomach, oh my stomach.”
“Now,” said Jack, as he turned to go off, that’s a touch of what you will get every time we meet.
For, my pretty sword and me
Belong to the I. L. P.
We’ve joined the Crusaders,
To wipe out all traders
In crime and tyranny.
Each Dame and Knight agree
To fight big ghouls like thee,
We’ll harry and worry
And some day will bury
’Tition and Mon-o-Poly.”
Saying which he went home leaving the giants nursing their sore places, and cursing him and his I. L. P. sword.
After the two giants had rubbed their sores down a bit, they went home to their big castle to plan out their revenge on Jack. All the way they kept talking about what they would do with him, when they caught him.
“Yes,” said Com-pe-Tition, “but how are we to catch him? That I. L. P. sword of his is a warmer. If we could only break that or steal it from him, we’d be all right. And then wouldn’t we give him beans.”
“I wonder,” said Mon-o-Poly, “what I. L. P. means. Let me see now; it might mean ‘I Like Porridge.’ ”
“Nonsense,” growled Com-pe-Tition, “only Scotchmen like porridge. It means ‘I Like Power.’ ”
“Or ‘I Love Property,’ ” said Mon-o-Poly.
“Well, whatever it means, said the youngest of the two, we must get hold of it, or it will take both power and property away from us, and our friends the Sharpheads.”
“Look here,” said Mon-o-Poly, “you know these dogs we keep, I mean the Press Curs, let’s set them on to this Jack. They’ll soon tear him to pieces, see if they don’t.”
“Well,” said Com-pe-Tition, “if they don’t tear him to pieces, they’ll keep snarling and barking at him, so that the Dullards will say ‘There must be something amiss with Jack, or the giants’ curs wouldn’t bark and snarl at him so,’ and then Jack will be left alone, and will be powerless.”
“Ha, ha, ha, he, ho, ho, he, he, he!” laughed both giants together, “ ’pon our breeches pocket that’s a capital plan,” and having settled the matter to their own satisfaction, they went home in great glee and called a meeting of Sharpheads and told them of their plan.
“Capital,” said one of the Sharpheads, “and while the Press Curs are barking we will lay some traps for him to fall into, and then we will seize his sword and break it and he will be harmless again.”
“Very good,” said another Sharphead, “and if the dogs and the traps both fail, we will try to buy the sword from him. For, he whispered, if the Dullards get to know that Jack Clearhead has a sword like that, and that he can defy us, they may ask him to be their leader, and them what will become of us.”
At this thought the giants and Sharpheads began to tremble so violently that the castle walls were shaking, and an old owl who had her nest among the ivy, got so frightened that she began to sing out “Te-wheet-oo, te-wheet-ooo.”
When the giants and Sharpheads head this, they thought it was Jack after them with his sword, whereupon they all began to beg for mercy, thus:—
O Master Jack, good Master Jack,
Don’t hurt us now we pray,
We’ll call the dirty Press Curs off,
And what you ask we’ll pay.
Here’s Com. and Mon. and Sharpheads all,
Your faithful slaves will be,
Tag, Rag, and Mob, and Parson Bob,
Will join the I. L. P.
“Tu-wheet, tu-weet, tu-woo-oo-oo,” sang the owl, more frightened than ever.
“Why,” said Mon-o-Poly, “it’s only the owl we’ve been scared of.”
Whereupon they all felt so much ashamed, that they slunk home to bed.
One day Jack was out walking by himself, thinking and planning how to fight the giants successfully. His heart was very sore and heavy when he looked upon the poor Dullards and saw how they were robbed and cheated by the Sharpheads, and how cruelly the giants Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition treated them, and what annoyed him most was that if the Dullards would only combine their forces and carry the right kind of Chin-Chinners into the Pow-Wow they could free themselves from the Sharp-heads and bury Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition and all the other giants a thousand leagues under the sea, there to be food for the fishes. Thinking of all these things, poor Jack was very sad, and though he had a brave, strong heart, yet he was at that moment quite downcast.
He had wandered for miles over wood and hill, through deep glens, and by the side of clear streams, and though the birds were singing their best and the streams were making their sweetest music, Jack had no ears for them that day. Just as he was thinking about turning back he heard a loud scream. Jack stood still to listen, and again and again the scream was renewed, and appeared to come from a thick wood, and for the first time Jack noticed that he was in the neighbourhood of the giants’ castle. He at once felt for his sword, and drawing it rushed in the direction from whence the sound proceeded.
On and on he ran, and the screaming was becoming fainter, and Jack feared he would be too late to make a rescue, when he suddenly entered a green glade right in the heart of a thicket, and there he saw a beautiful maiden who had been bound by Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly, and who was being carried off by a number of other giants, while the Press Curs followed, trying to tear pieces out of her dress, which was trailing on the ground. Evidently the maiden was much exhausted by her struggles, and her screams were low and faint. At her head was a big bully named Ig-no-Ramus. Like all bullies he was a rank coward. His head was a turnip, his body a big bladder full of wind, and his legs a bundle of rushes loosely tied together. Super-Stition had hold of her feet, and he was a long thin scarecrow, tied up with white bands and red tape to keep himself from falling to pieces. Besides, a number of little elfs and goblins, the children of the giants, were running here, there, and everywhere. With a great shout Jack rushed at the lot and sent his sword right through Ig-no-Ramus’ body, whereupon all the wind rushed out and he collapsed on the ground, where he lay moaning helplessly. Super-Stition, the moment he saw Ig-no-Ramus fall, gave a shriek and ran off as fast as his rickety legs could carry him, while the Press Curs, the elfs and Goblins, and even Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition followed suit, and thus Jack found himself alone with the maiden, who had fainted through fear and exhaustion.
When Jack had brought the maiden round by means of water from a spring, she fairly overwhelmed him with gratitude for his brave rescue. She told him her name was Social-Ism, that her mother’s name was Truth and her father’s Justice, but that the giants had carried these off and locked them up in the dark dungeons of their castle, and she had not seen them for years. At first they did not think of taking her, because she was such a tiny creature she could do no harm. But when she began to grow into womanhood they became alarmed when they found that she was as strong as her father and mother put together. Then they said to one another—
“O, ho! If Truth and Justice were free they would soon kill us. Here is their daughter, Social-Ism, who is growing as strong as her parents, and unless we capture her and lock her up beside them we shall be destroyed.” And so they had watched her when she went out for her morning walk, and would have captured her but for Jack’s timely intervention.
Jack had never seen anyone so beautiful as Social-Ism, and the more he looked at her the more beautiful she seemed. Her clear eyes and flowing hair, and the fearless, frank, open way she looked at him made him feel that she was as good as she was beautiful. Her dress was pure white, whilst a bright green sash encircled her waist, and on her head was a red cap, from underneath which her wavy hair fell all round her shoulders.
“But,” said Jack in astonishment, “had you no friends to protect you from these monsters?”
“Oh,” she answered, “there were some who thought they loved me, and even called themselves by my name. But these only cared for me because they thought I could give them more bread and perhaps more beer. Their love was too gross to satisfy me, and so I fled from them, and thus fell into the hands of the captors from whom you have just rescued me.”
Falling on one knee Jack drew his sword, and raising it over his head said—
“Then, accept me as your knight, and I pledge you to fight your cause against all comers; to rescue your parents, Truth and Justice, from the dungeons where they lie; and finally to overthrow the giants Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition and all the hateful brood who follow in their train, and in the end to make you queen of this empire, even as you now are queen of my heart.”
“And I,” said Social-Ism, placing her hand on his shoulder and gazing steadfastly into his eyes, “plight my troth to be leal5 and true to you, until your great task is accomplished.
“And see,” she said, taking a rosette from her breast and fastening it on his, “wear this for my sake. The three colours which you see are Red, White and Green, representing, Red for myself—Social-Ism, White for purity, and Green for nature.6 Go forth among the Dullards and try and get them to wear your colours, and fight under your standard, for when my parents, Truth and Justice, have been freed, then the wrongs of the Dullards will soon be put right.”
“Then,” said Jack, “come with me to my home and share its humble protection, and when I grow weary or down-hearted in the great battle which lies before me, I will look upon you and remember your parents in the dungeon, and my arm shall be strengthened and my heart nerved, for any struggle which the future may have in store.”
And so arm in arm, linked together for life, these two set out for home, as full of happiness as it is possible for two human beings to be.
As the time drew near for the Chin-Chiners to break up their Pow-Wow and ask the Dullards to carry them back in again, the Plumduffs and the Piecrusts were as usual pretending to vilify each other, and all the while they were meeting in private and laughing at the way they were fooling the Dullards. For, as I have already told you, the Chin-Chinners were all Sharpheads, and it was because of this that their power over the Dullards was so great. But one thing alarmed the Sharpheads seriously. Jack and his fair companion Social-Ism had been at work among the Dullards, and had been telling them of the way in which the Sharpheads and the Giants had carried off Truth and Justice, who had always been on the side of the Dullards, and had tried to kidnap Social-Ism also. But the Dullards were hard to rouse. They had almost forgotten that Truth and Justice had ever lived; and, in fact, some of the young men amongst them said that the stories about them were old wives’ fables. When, however, Jack brought Social-Ism into their midst they could doubt no longer. Her beauty won every heart; and when she told them in glowing language that their lives could be as beautiful as hers, they were filled with astonishment. But Social-Ism proved her case in this way. “Here,” she said, “is old Mother Earth. She is kind to everybody who is good to her. You have only to tickle her skin till she laughs, and as a reward she will fill your barns with golden grain, and your chests with rosy apples. She will send you flowers to make your homes and gardens beautiful, and provide food for sheep and kine7 and horses, and all manner of useful animals.”
“Oh,” said the old Dullard, interrupting “we know, Miss, what you are saying is true; but Mother Earth belongs to the giant Mon-o-Poly, and she gives all her good things to him and his friends the Sharpheads.”
“Just so, said Social-Ism; but if she belonged to you, you would treat her more kindly that Mon-o-Poly does, and then she would yield you treasures and abundance of good things of which you have never dreamt in your wildest dreams. And then,” she continued, “there is the poor, blind giant Cap-i-tal, Mother Earth’s husband. He, too, is in bondage to Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition. You know how they use him to oppress you and your children. But if you destroy Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition then Cap-i-Tal will become your share, and toil for you morning, noon, and night. Then, instead of children being destroyed by him in smoky, dirty dens, they will be at play all day long in summer, in meadows, among the daisies and buttercups; and their mothers, instead of being the poor drudges so many of them are to-day, will love and be loved, and have their lives filled with sweet joy. And their fathers will again grow strong and brave and fearless, and not be crushed down by grinding toil and the dread of poverty as they are to-day.”
“Ah, but,” said the Dullards, “how is it to be done?”
“In this way,” said Jack, drawing his bright I. L. P. sword. “I will lead you and fight for you against the giants. We will go out together to rescue Truth and Justice from the dungeons where they lie buried. When the time comes to carry Chin-Chinners to the great Pow-Wow, get some of your own men on your shoulders and carry them in, and refuse even to look at the Sharpheads, whether they call themselves the Plumduffs or the Piecrusts. Then when you have done as I tell you, we will make short work of the giants Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly, for this sword cannot fail when used against them.”
At these words the Dullards send up a great cheer and said—“We will follow you and your I. L. P. sword wherever you lead us.”
Then Jack made them kneel down, and with uplifted hand pledge themselves never to carry any Plumduff or Piecrust into the great Pow-Wow, after which he and Social-Ism went home to rest for the great battle which they knew lay before them. Next week we shall see what happened.
At length the day of election to the Pow Wow came round. Two great crowds of Sharpheads were gathered on the banks of a stream waiting on the Dullards to carry them over and make them Chin Chiners. One of the crowds were Piecrusts and the other Plum-duffs. They were separated from each other by a rope of sand, and a number of them seemed not to have made up their mind on which side of the rope to stand. If they thought the Dullards were going to carry the Piecrusts, they went on to their side; then if they heard that it was the Plumduffs who were to be carried, they rushed back to them. They were determined to be Chin Chiners and would call themselves either Piecrusts or Plumduffs, or anything else, if only they got into the Pow-Wow. Each side had a set of leaders, and these were easily known by the size of their jaw. They were not made leaders because they led anyone, but because they could talk for hours without saying anything, and were able to prove that black was white, and white yellow, when it suited them. These leaders were not easy in their mind this morning, as each knew that if the Dullards did not carry their side over, they would lose the big reward which fell to their share when they won. However, they tried to put on the best face they could, and cheered their followers by showing them a number of small toy balloons, made of coloured paper and filled with gas, which they thought would be sure to bribe the Dullards into carrying their side over. Each of these balloons had a name. On the side of the Piecrusts the balloons bore such names as “One man, one vote,” and “Registration Reforms”; while on the Plumduff side the balloons were inscribed “Greatness of the Empire,” “Lor ’n order,” and the like.
Suddenly the sound of music was heard in the distance, and as it drew nearer the Sharpheads saw to their dismay that it was a great procession of Dullards. On it came, the bands playing, the people cheering, whilst flags and banners streamed down the wind. On, on they came, and as the tramp, tramp of their feet sounded nearer, the Sharpheads became terribly afraid, and whispered one to another, that, perhaps the Dullards were coming, not to carry them over, but to drown them in the stream. After a hurried talk between the leaders, it was agreed to send for Mon-o-Poly, Com pe-Tition, and all their friends, including Blind Cap-i-Tal, Igno-Ramus, Super-Stition, the Press Curs, and all whom they could reach. It so happened that all these were in a wood close by, and were soon on the spot. Their friends the Sharpheads formed a semi-circle, like a horseshoe, of Plumduffs and Piecrusts, and put the giants in the middle where they told them of their fears.
Meanwhile the Dullards were drawing nearer, and now it could be seen that riding at the head of the procession were Jack Clear-head and Social-Ism. Jack rode a strong limbed horse, whose glossy coat was jet black, whilst Social-Ism was mounted on a milk white pony. They rode right up till they came to where the giants were sprawling on the grass with all the Sharpheads standing round. Putting a silver trumpet to his lips, Jack blew a blast which was heard for miles, and which brought the procession to a halt. Standing up in his stirrups, Jack gave his orders. The head of the procession was to march round in a semi-circle till they met the end of the one formed by the Sharpheads, by which time the tail-end of the procession would have reached the other end of the Sharpheads’ horse shoe, and thus the two would form, when joined, a complete circle, in the middle of which would be the giants near their friends the Sharpheads, whilst Jack and Social-Ism would be on the side of the circle formed by the Dullards.
When the Dullards had all marched into their places and the circle had been completed, Jack blew a blast on his silver bugle, and a large body of men marched forward. They were of all ages and looked very sad and wan.
“Who are you, and what do you seek?” asked Jack.
“We are workingmen and we seek work that we and our children may have food to eat,” they answered.
Turning to the Sharpheads, Jack said—
“Here are thousands of strong men willing to work. Your giants, Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly will not allow them to work. If you are returned to the Pow-Wow what will you do for them?”
“We will give them these balloons to play with,” said the leaders of the Piecrusts and the Plumduffs as they threw the balloons in the air, keeping hold however of the thread to which they were tied.
“We don’t want balloons to play with,” shouted the men fiercely, “we want work.”
“Retire,” said Jack, and the men fell back into their places.
Jack again blew a blast on his bugle, and another great company moved forward to where he and Social-Ism stood. There were old men and old women and children, and they were all dressed alike in a dirty ugly uniform.
“Who are you?” said Jack, “and what do you want?”
“We,” answered a gnarled old man, speaking for the old people, “have worked for the giants Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly all our lives. They have stolen from us all the wealth we have made by our toil, and now, when we are too old to work for them any longer, they have shut us up in huge prisons where they make our lives miserable. We demand that part of the wealth we have made by our work shall be used in making our old age happy.”
“And we,” said a pale, sad-faced wee lassie, “are the children of those whom Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly have slain, and we demand that the murderers of our fathers and mothers shall themselves be put to death.”
“What have you to say to that?” asked Jack.
The giants were all shivering with fear and dread as the Sharp-head leaders again threw up their balloons and said, “We will give them these to play with.”
“Balloons are for the children of the rich,” said the wee lassie who had already spoken, “they are but mockeries to the pauper child.”
“And an insult to the aged poor,” said the gnarled old man.
“Retire,” said Jack, and again he blew on his bugle, and this time a great multitude moved forward of all ages, from the child of eleven to the old man and woman of fifty and sixty.
“Who are you?” said Jack, “and what do you want?”
“We,” said their spokesman, “are all slaves to Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition. We work and work and work and all we make belongs to the Sharpheads. In fact, we are called the working classes. We work hard, we live hard, and we die hard, and we demand to be freed from the toils in which Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly have bound us, so that we may be our own masters, and enjoy the fruits of our labour.”
“What have you to say to that?” asked Jack.
Here the Sharpheads fell on their knees and began saying piteously, “Oh, please, good working man, do carry us over the stream into the Pow-Wow, and we will give you all these balloons to play with and some more beside. Please do carry us over, oh please do, good, kind, clever working men.”
But the workers laughed and said, “It isn’t balloons we want, it’s Freedom.” And a little boy with soiled clothes ran up to one of the Sharphead leaders, and ran a pin into his balloon, which burst with a loud report, whereat all the other boys laughed and cheered.
“Retire,” said Jack, and the crowd fell back. Taking Social-Ism by the hand, Jack led her forward and said,
“Tell these people here who you are and what you want.”
“My name,” she said, “is Social-Ism. These monsters, pointing to the giants, have carried off my parents, Truth and Justice, and have buried them in their dungeons. Before they did so, there were no strong men out of work, there were no children hungry, there were no paupers, and there were no slaves like these around us. I demand that my parents be released at once.”
Here all the Sharpheads began to hold up their balloons and say, “Oh, Miss, we will give you all these and more; we will give you a crown and a coronet to play with, but oh please tell these people that your parents are dead, and then we will give you anything you ask.”
Social-Ism looked at them contemptuously, and said quietly, “Yes, you will give me anything I want save what I do want. Free my parents and then I may treat with you, not before.”
“Now,” said Jack, speaking to the Sharpheads and the giants, “you have heard all the Dullards and Social-Ism have to say. We are going to carry our own men over to the Pow-Wow, and we now give you warning to clear out or take the consequences. If you are not all gone by two o’clock this afternoon, we shall drive you out at the point of the I. L. P. sword.”
The Sharpheads were terribly alarmed at the turn events had taken. The Dullards outnumbered them by twenty to one, and were besides thoroughly united, while amongst the Sharpheads were a good many who were only too pleased that at length the power of the giants was to be broken. Several times the Sharp-heads held consultations among themselves to see whether they could not devise some means of again dividing the Dullards into two separate camps. They made new balloons in which they stuck all kinds of fancy names, but when these were offered to the Dullards, they only laughed at them. “Give us your giant to destroy and then we will make friends with you, but not till then,” was the reply which the Dullards kept sending back. And so the hour of two o’clock drew near when the great battle was to begin. Blowing a great blast on his silver bugle, Jack called for silence and thus addressed the Sharpheads:—“We have,” he said, “no desire to fight unless we are driven to it, and if you will promise to destroy your giants who kill our children, and our men and women, and rob the living of everything which makes life beautiful, then we can all live in peace.”
But the Sharpheads would not agree to this. They said one to another, “The Dullards may be stronger than us in numbers, but we have all the food and all the clothing, and by-and-bye they will be glad to come to us for supplies.”
“Yes,” said Com-pe-Tition, “and if you stick by us, we will stick by you, and all fight together.” Just as he said these words the great town clock pealed out the hour of two.”
“Now friends,” said Jack, “the hour has come for you to strike for freedom. Let every good I. L. P. soldier, and every brave crusader be true to duty, and may God defend the right.”
With these words he blew a blast on his silver bugle, and the battle began. First of all a band of boys and girls armed with beautiful, bright swords rushed right into where the giants were, and began to prick them with their swords. The giants had great clubs which they wielded right and left, but being themselves so large, whilst the crusaders were small, they kept hitting and hurting each other, without once touching the crusaders. The giants feeling themselves pricked all round, soon lost their temper, and began to lash with their great clubs in all directions. But as they only hit one another the more, the crusaders laughed in their glee and pricked them all the more. Super-Stition swung his club round his head, intending to kill, at least, a dozen crusaders, but instead he hit Igno-Ramus a blow on the nose, which made him mad with rage and pain. Thinking it had been done wilfully, Igno-Ramus brought his club down with crushing force on Super-Stition’s head, whereupon these two took to pummelling each other. Mon-o-Poly and Com-pe-Tition were all the while hopping about like hens on a hot gridiron, as the crusaders kept prick, pricking them with their sharp little swords. At last they could stand it no longer, and called on the Press Curs to come and tear their tormentors to pieces. Just as the Press Curs were about to do so one of the crusaders whistled, and a fine black retriever rushed into the fray. Round his neck was a collar on which were the letters I. L. P. “Toby, do your duty,” said the crusader who had whistled, whereupon Toby, with a bark of delight rushed upon the Press Curs, and soon had them running in all directions with their tails between their legs, and howling with pain.
Meantime the Dullards had borne down upon the Sharp-heads, and by sheer force of numbers were pressing them down towards the river. Many of the poor fellows when they saw that instead of being carried over into the Pow Wow, they were about to be drowned, began to beg for mercy. Still they kept fighting on, whilst Jack was everywhere amongst them with his sword working terrible havoc. Just as the Sharpheads were struggling to keep their footing on the muddy edge of the stream, the same old woman who had met Jack at the spring and given him the I. L. P. sword, suddenly appeared, and holding up both hands said, “Stop!” in a voice so loud that it was heard all over the field of battle. Everyone looked to see where the voice came from, and as they did so the old clothes fell from the woman, whilst she plucked a mask from off her face, and revealed herself as a bright, beautiful fairy.
“Who are you?” said Jack, “and what do you want?”
“My name,” she said, “is Good Will, and I am cousin to Social-Ism, as my parents, Progress and Love, were brother and sister to Truth and Justice. Whilst you have been fighting, I have been to the giants’ castle and freed Truth and Justice from their dungeons; and see, there they come over the hill arm in arm with Love and Progress.”
At this the Dullards sent up a great cheer, whilst Social-Ism ran to meet and welcome her long lost parents.
“And now,” said Good Will, “I will at once put an end to this strife. Hitherto I have been powerless, as I could not act until the Dullards proved willing for a change. Now that they have done so, I am able to help them.”
Going up to the giants, she addressed Igno-Ramus and Super-Stition. “You two,” she said, “must die. You need not howl so, as you can’t escape. However, I will not only make your end painless, but will bring you to life again in a new form. Drink this,” she said, “It is a mixture called Edu-Cation.” The two poor giants took the potion with trembling hands and drank it up at a draught, whereupon small tongues of flame broke out all over them and consumed them. But in another two moments they began to grow again, and when they had assumed their full shape, they were no longer the hideous things they had formerly been, but strong, healthy, and clean limbed, and clad in bright garments.
“In future,” said Good Will, “you will be known as Know-Ledge and Sci-Ence.”
“Now,” said Good Will, “where are the Press Curs.”
Toby, when he heard the question, sat up on his hind legs and laughed and wagged his tail. It turned out that they were ashamed of the part they had played, and had gone and drowned themselves in the stream.
“A good riddance,” said a gnarled old Dullard.
“And now,” said Good Will, waving her fairy wand over Com-pe-Tition and Mon-o-Poly, “I command you to change from cruel giants into genial fairies. You, Com-pe-Tition, shall in future be called Emu-Lation, and you, Mon-o-Poly, shall become Collec-Tivism.”
At this, the giants seemed to disappear for a moment and then re-appear. But a great change had taken place in their appearance.
Emu-Lation had no longer claws and big teeth, but looked gentle as a lamb and strong and brave as a lion. Mon-o-Poly, too, in his new form of Collec-Tivism, had been turned into a kind, wise, thoughtful looking giant, who, in a few minutes, had all the crusaders round him and was feeding them with buns and nuts and fruit and candy galore. His supply seemed inexhaustible, and, whilst the crusaders were helping themselves, Collec-Tivism was bestowing all manner of good things on all the Dullards.
Turning last of all to Blind Cap-i-Tal and Mother Earth, Good Will said, “For a long time you two have been the slaves of the giants. Now I hand you over to Social-Ism, who will be kind to you and not use you to oppress people as you have been used by your old masters.”
On hearing this, Blind Cap-i-Tal was so overjoyed that he caught hold of old Mother Earth and, after hugging her to his heart, insisted on dancing a jig with her there and then.
“And now,” said Good Will, speaking to the Sharpheads, “the giants being all destroyed or changed, there is no longer any reason why you and the Dullards should not become brothers again. Forget the past, work together in the future, for if you don’t there will be no place here for you.”
“Brothers,” said the Sharpheads to the Dullards, “can you forget and forgive the past?”
“We can, we can,” said the Dullards; “Let the dead past bury its dead.”
Whereupon the two classes began to mingle together and make plans for their future welfare.
“And now, last of all,” said Good Will, “I make Truth and Justice, Progress and Love a council to settle all future disputes. When the council can’t agree, Social-Ism and myself will then be called in to decide differences. As for you, Jack, your sword will be kept as our most valuable possession, and you yourself will, of course, marry Social-Ism.”
“And, please, what am I to get,” said Toby, sitting up on his hind legs and looking very comical.
“Oh, you good dog, you will get a bone,” said Good Will, whereupon Toby wagged his tail and said, “Bow-wow-wow.”
THE END.