DO NOT BE disappointed if your child has lots of accidents the first day, this does not mean that he is not ready to be potty trained. Some of the toddlers I have trained have gone through all their pants within a few hours.
The important thing is not to make a big fuss or show displeasure when he does have an accident. Change his pants and continue to be enthusiastic about his big boy pants and how clever he is at sitting on his potty. When he is successful at using the potty, tell him how clever he is at peeing in the potty and how happy and proud your partner will be. Lots of praise, hugs and applause along with the use of a star chart is the most effective way of encouraging him to continue using the potty. All children respond better to encouragement and praise rather then criticism. The star chart will also be a visible reminder of how clever his is at using the potty.
Remember to have a small bucket with warm water, disinfectant and a cloth at hand (but out of reach of your child) to quickly clean up any messes. At this stage do not make any comment when cleaning up the mess, as you do not want to draw your child’s attention to his failure to make it to the potty. A small bucket filled with a cold-water soap powder solution to drop wet or soiled pants into is also useful. To get rid of any excess poo on his pants, using gloves hold them over the loo and flush a couple of times.
I have also found it very useful to keep a second chart for myself detailing the progress of potty training. It is a great help to see a pattern emerging of how often he needs to pee and whether successful use of the potty was self motivated or not.
You can draw a simple chart like the one opposite; simply record each time he pees by ticking the appropriate column. In the potty column use one tick when he urinates in the potty after being instructed by you, and two ticks when he urinates in the potty of his own accord.
By the end of the first day there should be more ticks in the potty column than in the accident column. If your child is under 28 months and has no ticks in the potty column it is clear that for whatever reason he is not yet ready and it would be better to go back to the preparation stage for a further week or two.
In my experience, a child who has shown all the signs of readiness and has followed all the preparation instructions laid out in Stage One, will probably have at least two or three ticks in the potty column.
However, if your child is nearer three years of age it is probably worth trying for a second day even if he hasn’t managed to do anything in the potty.
At the end of the first day, regardless of how successful he was at using his potty, it is important to tell your child how proud you are of him for being so clever at using his potty. No reference should be made to any accidents that have occurred during the day. Also it helps to reinforce the idea of wearing pants if you get him to choose the ones he will wear the following day.
To help avoid boredom setting in during the second day of training try to arrange for one of his friends to come round for a short play date. This can be used as a further encouragement to your child, for example, ‘Tommy will be so excited to see you in your big boy pants when he visits tomorrow’.
Helpful guidelines for surviving Day one
The point to remember on Day one is that it is not important how many times your child pees in the potty. The most important thing is that he is happy to sit on it for short spells at regular intervals throughout the day.
Do not get despondent if your child has lots of accidents. As long as he has shown all the signs of readiness and happily followed Stage One for a short period a couple of pees in the potty by the end of the first day is fine.
When he does manage to do a pee on the potty, no matter how small, give lots of praise smiles and cuddles. Remember also to praise him when he sits on the potty, not just when he pees in it.
When explaining to your child what is expected of him it is important that you get down to his level so that you have eye to eye contact when talking. Never shout instructions across the room and assume that he has taken in what you have said.
When he has an accident it is very important to stay calm and make light of it. For example, try not to show your anger if he misses the potty by a couple of inches. Say something like, ‘Never mind, you nearly made it to the potty, let’s go and put some nice clean dry pants on’.
Try to have a variety of different activities planned throughout the day. Drawing, jigsaws, collages and anything that can be done at the kitchen table is a good idea. Try to save reading stories and watching videos for times when he appears not to be so interested in using a potty. If he has gone a couple of hours without doing a pee, encourage him to sit on his potty and read him a story or sit with him and watch a video for a short spell.
Avoid using the phone during the first day and keep any visits from unexpected callers as brief as possible. It is important to devote yourself one hundred per cent to observing, encouraging and helping your child master potty training.