Chapter 59: Moving On

 

In early April O’Neil and Zeke were still plowing and sowing the fields. They’d cleared and planted almost twice as much land as the year before. Jenny seldom saw either man before dusk.

 

Friday, April 5th—Rachel, Mr. O’Neil, and I have grown comfortable in one another’s company. They break their fast most mornings in their cabin, and William and I eat in ours. Then Rachel and I do chores together, moving between our two homes while Mr. O’Neil is in the fields, sometimes with Zeke’s help. Or we visit Esther or Mrs. Tuller. In the evenings, when the men come in dirty from the fields, we have supper ready.

 

The men planted even on Sundays. “God don’t stop the grass growin’ or the rain fallin’ on the Sabbath,” O’Neil said. “Farmer’s got to keep up with the Lord. That’s what my pa always said.”

But unless rain poured, on Sundays Jenny and Rachel harnessed Poulette to the wagon and rode into Oregon City for church. Sunday, April 7, was a fine morning, and they headed into town.

“William needs to get out,” Jenny told Rachel while the two-and-a-half-year-old ran around the churchyard after services with a group of older boys.

“He spends lots of time outside,” Rachel said.

“I mean he needs other children. He doesn’t see anyone other than Esther’s brood.”

“Not since your school closed. It was a shame your students didn’t come more regularly.”

“Yes,” Jenny sighed. “I’ve missed the bartered goods as well as the children’s company.”

“You have enough, don’t you?” Rachel raised her eyebrows at Jenny. “We’ve never wanted for food this winter.”

“Mr. O’Neil hunted when he had time, and Zeke brought us meat as well. And I have my credit in town. So we’ve done all right.” Jenny sighed again. “And I have most of what Mac left me. I’ve had to spend some, and I might have to use more, if the store wants payment before the crops come in this fall. Plus, there are the taxes, because Mac has not returned.”

“Surely the stores will give you more credit,” Rachel said. “They’re carrying so many emigrants.”

“At some point, their credit will stop. I’ll have to have the farm paying by then. Or I’ll have to go back to teaching school. But I can’t do so until fall, when the children are free after the harvest.”

Rachel stared at the ground and was silent. Jenny could tell the girl had something to say. “What is it, Rachel?”

“Ro-Robert,” Rachel stammered. “He’s filed a land claim. We’re moving there as soon as your planting is done, so he can clear our land. He says we need our own place. I’m in a family way now.” The girl blushed. “We want to raise our baby on our own land. But I feel bad leaving you.”

Jenny took a deep breath, closing her eyes. She’d be alone again. Then she smiled and hugged Rachel. “That’s wonderful news—both about your claim and your baby. Mr. O’Neil is absolutely right. You should have your own home. You don’t owe me anything.”

“You gave me a home last year,” Rachel said.

“And you helped me, as a good friend does. I’ll miss you.”

But later Jenny’s tears streaked the ink when she wrote:

 

Sunday, April 7th—Rachel and Mr. O’Neil will move to their own claim soon. I’ve been alone before, and I can do it again. They won’t be too far away to visit.

 

Writing the words didn’t help. She didn’t want to live alone again, with only William for company.

“What’ll you do when O’Neil leaves?” Zeke asked late one afternoon the following week. “He’s filed a claim a few miles south of here.”

“He told me he’d still work for me part of the time,” Jenny said. “He won’t have much of a crop this year. He has to clear his land.”

“You could ask Pa about Jonathan and David moving here. They’re thirteen now, big enough to be a help with chores. And with farming.”

“I won’t have those boys doing a man’s work in the fields,” Jenny said.

“What do you think they’re doing for Pa?” Zeke said. “They’re helping him and me both.”

“And who’ll help your papa if the boys live here?” Jenny asked, running the back of her hand over her forehead. “I need another hired hand.”

“Won’t find one this spring.” Zeke snorted. “Every able-bodied man is already working at something. I’ll help you two days a week, but that’s as much as I can do and manage my own farm, too.”

“Thank you,” Jenny said meekly.

Zeke hesitated, then said. “Have you written Mac to come home?”

“I’ve asked.” That was mostly true, Jenny thought. She’d told Mac she wanted to see him again. That was the same as asking him to come back.

“What did he say?”

“I haven’t heard yet.” Jenny stared at the ground, not trusting herself to meet Zeke’s eye without crying. “I do miss him, Zeke.”

“You know how I feel ’bout him leaving you here alone. It’s been more’n two years now.” Jenny opened her mouth to speak, but Zeke held up his hand. “I’ve said it before, but I have to say it again, Jenny. It ain’t right.”

The next time Zeke came, he brought a wriggling brown dog with him.

“What’s that?” Jenny asked.

“I don’t want you alone here after O’Neil leaves. The pup’s full grown, but not so big you can’t handle him. He’ll make a good watchdog.”

As if to prove his worth, the dog barked. William came running. The dog went straight into William’s arms, and the boy giggled when the pup licked his face. Jenny knew she had acquired another animal.

“His tail wags, Mama,” William said. And “Wags” the dog became.

“He has to sleep in the barn,” Jenny said, wondering if she would be able to enforce that rule.

Jenny tried to keep a smile on her face while she helped Rachel make lists of household items she needed. “We’ve shared so much the past few months,” Rachel said. “I don’t know how I’ll manage my house all by myself. And the baby needs so much, too.”

“Not really,” Jenny smiled. “William only had what I could make along the trail. Your mama and Mrs. Tuller told me all I needed was diapers, and lots of them.”

Rachel laughed. “We’ve all seen a lot of diapers since then, haven’t we? All the babies born in the last three years. And now it’s my turn.” Rachel’s face beamed when she spoke of having her own home and family.

Jenny tried not to let her own unhappiness show. But in the evenings after William was asleep, she wept into her pillow—the pillow she’d taken off Mac’s cot when he left. Sometimes she thought she still smelled him in it. How could she live on her own, without Rachel and O’Neil for assistance and company?

Zeke and O’Neil put the word out in town she needed a hired hand, but she wasn’t likely to find anyone. Zeke pressed her to have the twins live on her farm after the O’Neils moved, but she refused.

By April 28, the last Sunday of the month, most of the crops were planted, and Rachel and O’Neil had packed. They planned to move their belongings to their claim on Tuesday and live in a tent while O’Neil built a cabin.

That morning they all went to church together for the last time. Jenny wondered how she and William would fare alone. The boy didn’t seem to understand Rachel and O’Neil were leaving. He asked about them frequently when they weren’t in sight.

“Where’s Rachel?” he asked Jenny several times a day.

“She’s at her home. But she’ll be back soon,” Jenny told her son.

Come Tuesday, Jenny wouldn’t be able to tell William that Rachel would be back soon.

After the church service, the congregation held a picnic. The rains had let up enough to sit outside, though the ground was still damp under new grass.

“Spread a blanket,” Esther told Daniel. “Here, Rachel, you sit and rest.”

“I’m fine,” Rachel protested. She hadn’t been as sick as either Esther or Jenny had been during their pregnancies.

“It’s not fair you’re doing so well, when I puked every morning,” Esther said, but she smiled at her sister when she spoke. “I’m looking forward to being an auntie. You’ll get the work of this baby, not me.”

“How you can want another one in the family is beyond me,” Amanda Pershing said, shaking her head, as she sat by her stepdaughters with her infant son Franklin on her lap. “We’re all tuckered out caring for children. You most of all, Esther.”

Esther did look tired these days, Jenny thought. But it wasn’t nice of Mrs. Pershing to point it out. “Esther does so well with children,” Jenny said, sticking up for her friend.

Rachel, too, defended her sister. “She’ll be such a help, when my baby comes.”

“I dare say we’ll all help,” Amanda Pershing said with a sigh. Esther was silent. The sisters and their stepmother still did not get along well.

Zeke came over to the blanket where the women sat. “I picked up the mail yesterday,” he said. “Pa got a letter from Joel, and Jenny has one from California.” He handed the letter to Jenny.

Jenny didn’t recognize the handwriting. Could it be from Mac? She wanted to put it in her pocket for later, but Zeke and the others stared at her expectantly. “Open it,” Esther said.

Jenny couldn’t refuse with everyone staring at her. She broke the seal, and smiled when she saw it was Mac’s handwriting. “It’s from Mac,” she exclaimed. “He’s alive!” The sun broke out above her and shone on the letter in her hand.

“Did you think he wasn’t?” Esther laughed. “You’d said he was ill, but you didn’t make it sound serious.”

“He’s well.” Then Jenny read on. Her heart fell, and a roaring sound filled her ears. “He’s not coming back,” she heard herself say, as her world turned dark.