Chapter 73: Talking to Susan

 

August 10, 1850. It is harder to leave California than I would like. I must dispose of the store and find a way to care for Maria on the journey. I am on my way to San Francisco to talk to Nate about the store.

And I must talk with Susan.

 

Immediately after reading Joel's letter from Esther, Mac made arrangements to leave Maria with her Indian nursemaid for a few days and booked passage on the next steamboat to San Francisco. He met Nate for supper the night he arrived.

“I’m selling out and going to Oregon,” Mac told Nate.

“Have you told Susan?” was the older man’s first reaction.

Mac shook his head. “I will. Know anyone who might buy my store?”

Nate frowned. “She talks like the two of you have an understanding.”

Mac sat back in his seat, stunned. “No, sir. I told you, I have made no commitment to her.” He wouldn’t let Susan interfere with his decision to marry Jenny. But he didn’t want to hurt Susan.

“Oh, she doesn’t say you asked her to marry you. But she smiles and says she talked you out of ruining your life with the Indian baby.”

“I told you last time we met, I’ve adopted Maria.”

“Susan won’t like that.” Nate’s frown became a glower. “She’s a headstrong young woman, but she’s all I have. You clear the air with her before I advise you about the store.”

Nate rebuffed all Mac’s efforts to discuss the store. Mac was chagrined to know he’d disappointed Nate, who reacted as Mac’s old tutor had when Mac failed to complete a lesson. He was uncomfortable through the rest of their dinner, knowing he needed to have an even more uncomfortable conversation with Susan.

The next morning after breakfast, Mac called on Susan. They met in a small parlor in the hotel where Nate and Susan lived. Mac didn’t know if it was his imagination, but her greeting sounded strained.

“Did your grandfather tell you I’m heading to Oregon?” Mac asked.

She pursed her lips for a moment, then looked at her lap and said, “That’s a surprise. He said you wanted to talk to me about your plans. But he didn’t say anything more. I thought perhaps—” She shook her head. “Why Oregon?”

“You know I traveled there in forty-seven.”

She nodded.

“I left many friends there from the wagon company I rode with. One friend in particular. A young woman.”

Susan stood abruptly and moved to look out the window. “You’ve never mentioned her.”

“No.” Mac took a deep breath. “Her name is Jenny. We traveled together from Missouri. I’m in love with her.”

Susan’s back grew rigid.

“People in the wagon company believed we were married. That her child was mine. I want to do right by her, if she’ll have me.”

“Of course, she’ll have you. A wealthy, well-educated Bostonian?” Her voice was bitter. “Any woman would have you.”

“She turned me down before.”

Susan whirled around. “Why are you doing this, Caleb? I thought you cared for me.”

“I do—”

“If you cared for me, you’d abandon this silly notion of returning to Oregon. Of doing right by some hussy who is no better than Consuela—”

“Be careful, Susan—”

“—A girl who only wants your money,” she continued angrily. “If you cared for me, you’d send the baby away, as I asked. If you cared for me, you wouldn’t have let me come to care for you.” Her voice broke.

“I’m sorry, Susan, I truly am.” Mac raked his fingers through his hair. “I wish I’d recognized how I felt about Jenny years ago. But I didn’t. I haven’t treated you well. I’m not sure we would have been well suited. But I’m sorry.”

“Not well suited?” She sniffed. “I should have realized your drinking and carrying on with prostitutes were ingrained in your character. But I thought I could change you.”

“Susan—”

“Please leave, Mr. McDougall. I don’t think we have anything more to talk about.”

“Susan—”

“I think it would be best if you returned to calling me ‘Miss Abbott.’ Although I doubt we will see much of each other in the future.” Susan made a brief curtsy. “Good day.” She stalked from the room.

Mac was silent as he watched her leave. It was best to let her have the last word. He’d known as soon as she called Jenny a hussy he was getting off easy.

He breathed a sigh of relief and went to find Nate.

“What’d she say?” Nate asked.

“She was upset,” Mac said. “I’m sorry. I told her I was sorry.”

“Well, I won’t say I’m not disappointed. I thought the two of you would make a fine match. You’d never seemed serious about that girl in Oregon.”

“I told myself I wasn’t, but I am,” Mac said. “I hope I’m not too late.” He swallowed hard at the thought Jenny might already have married Zeke. “Now, will you help me sell my store?”

“You sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Sell off your inventory at rock bottom prices,” Nate said. “Other merchants will buy it from you, just to keep the cheap goods out of people’s hands. Then they’ll mark it up come winter when new things are scarce. You get rid of the merchandise, and they make a profit.”

“That works for the dry goods,” Mac said. “But I’m stuck with the building.”

“I’ll look for a buyer for you.” Nate blew a ring of smoke. “Or take both the inventory and building and manage it myself again.”

“I thought you were done with working.” Mac grinned. “You told me you were ready for a life of luxury.”

“Turns out luxury is a might too peaceful,” Nate said. “Body can only eat so much. And Susan won’t let me drink all I want.”

“She said she thought she could change me.”

Nate harrumphed, but otherwise ignored Mac’s comment.

“I can leave you my power of attorney. You can run the store as my agent, then sell it later,” Mac offered.

“That’ll work. But if you find another buyer, go ahead and sell.” Nate smoked silently a moment, then asked, “What made you decide on this Oregon girl anyhow?”

Mac ground his cigar in the ashtray. “The thought of another man having her. Even the man I told her to marry.”

“Damn foolish of you to take so long to figure it out.”

“Yes, it was.” Mac exhaled. He itched to begin the journey to Oregon.

“Have you written her to tell her you’re coming?”

“I’d hoped to be on the next boat north. So I’d be in Oregon as quickly as a letter could get there. But if I can’t leave for another couple of weeks, a letter makes sense.”

“You taking the Mexican brat with you?”

Mac’s eyes narrowed at Nate’s description of Maria, but he held his temper. “You mean my daughter? Yes.”

“What if your gal in Oregon doesn’t want her?”

Jenny had traded with the Indian women along the trail, exchanging smiles as well as food. He thought of her love for William, despite not knowing which despicable man had fathered the boy. “She’ll take Maria.” Mac was certain of that. “It’s whether she’ll take me I worry about.”

“Well, Maria’s prettier than you, that’s for sure.” Nate said, chuckling. “There are hundreds of ships in the harbor. Maybe one of them is going north. Write your letter quickly and send it on the boat. Then settle your affairs in California in an orderly manner.”