The loud knocking on my front door wouldn’t cease.
My mistake had been texting Sage that Wyatt and I broke up. She practically flew to my front door after finding out and even though I still wouldn’t open the door, she wouldn’t go away.
The tub of ice cream and large spoon that sat next to me kept whispering to ignore her, put on a random show, and eat my feelings.
It would have won too, if she didn’t FaceTime me.
“Marley June Wix!” Sage yelled as soon as I picked up. “Open this door.”
More knocking.
“Why? I told you what happened.”
Sage glared into my screen. “Now.”
I groaned, threw off the fuzzy blanket my mom kept on the back of the couch no matter what season it was outside, and trudged toward the door.
“It’s about damn time, Marley.”
I shrugged and slunk back to the couch and hit the power button on the remote.
“Ben and Jerry’s? My gosh, what happened?”
“I told you. It didn’t work out.”
She crossed her arms.
“All the details. Don’t leave anything out.”
So, I told her about our date, the kiss, and then his dad. I had to give her credit, she didn’t interrupt me, which was a positive for her.
“I don’t understand. Why did you two break up?”
My eyebrows scrunched together. “Why wouldn’t we? He kept a massive secret from me.”
“But came clean about it in the moment. He doesn’t owe you his whole life story on day one.”
“Of course he doesn’t. But at no point in the last few weeks could he give me any inkling? Nothing? I asked him how he had turned his grades around so fast. I asked him to tell me something. He didn’t take the bait at all.”
“And?”
“And how am I supposed to start a relationship on that foundation, Sage?”
“You just started officially dating, Marley.”
“To quote you … and?”
“And so, you’re still in the getting to know you stage. He took you to his house, right? Isn’t that a step?”
“A minor one. I asked if he would have told me and he didn’t answer.”
“Are you sure this is really about the secret and not about you?”
“I’m pretty smart, Sage. I think I can comprehend a situation happening in front of my own eyes.”
“Not when it’s about you.”
I crossed my arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Are you sure you aren’t self-sabotaging?”
“Why would I do that?”
She chuckled. “Because you’re scared!”
“I’m not.”
“You aren’t worried about what would happen if things had gone further and then this came out? How much more it would have hurt?”
“No.”
“You’re lying and maybe you aren’t doing it intentionally. Maybe you don’t even realize you’re doing it. But damn it, Marley, you’re pulling the rip cord before he can.”
“So what if I am? Sure, I enjoyed kissing him and he is handsome. A girl could have worse first kisses, but our futures aren’t even on the same path. I go to UPenn in the fall. What, we have three months of great dates and getting closer and then he could go on tour and I go to college? The statistics on long distance dating are terrible. I bet if I factor in him being a musician, it would be even worse.”
She crossed her arms. “Well, you don’t just eat Ben and Jerry’s when you’re happy. If you really believe this is for the better, then why are you so upset about it?”
“Haven’t you done something you know is bad for you, but you still do it anyway? I still developed feelings for him, that doesn’t disappear just because he lied. I’m not heartless.”
“Mm-hmm.” She went to the kitchen and came back with another spoon. “What are we watching?”
“Haven’t picked yet.”
“Good, so I can.” She snatched the remote and turned on some documentary I hadn’t heard of.
She didn’t bring him up again, but it didn’t stop my thoughts from swirling. Why had they both brought up how I felt about the relationship? He lied. End of story. I could have standards about my boyfriend lying, couldn’t I?
* * *
It got worse.
By Thursday I realized he had the finished adventure book. Not me. Him.
I had figured I would still bring it to see Andrea on Saturday and then it wouldn’t be a big deal at all. I would do the original plan, and then move on.
But without the book?
How would I manage that? I couldn’t just show up and say I had done it without any proof. Andrea would call me pathetic or a liar at best.
I wouldn’t have believed her without evidence, why should she believe me? I was sunk.
Except, Sage thought it was the perfect reason to send him a text or call him and chat.
But the more I thought about it, the more my stomach twisted, my resolve wouldn’t be able to withstand seeing his face again. If I saw those soft brown eyes and those long eyelashes, I could convince myself that maybe his lies weren’t so bad. That maybe it didn’t matter our futures were on drastically different paths.
Not to mention I couldn’t imagine how he had gotten this far with his home situation. Losing both parents because one had died and then being responsible for myself? It would have been difficult for anyone.
My parents were important to me. They supported me. They were my stable foundation. Would I have done the same as him without them? Could I have watched my dad decline without my mom and still kept up my grades and ambitions?
But then my thoughts would spiral into why he couldn’t have just trusted me with that information. I could have helped him. I could have carried some of that burden.
I couldn’t text him. I wouldn’t do it.
I trudged to the kitchen table for dinner. It was a rare occurrence that both of my parents were home at a normal time.
“Mar—” My mom’s eyes widened. “Wow! It’s like you knew telepathically it was ready.”
I giggled. “Or I just know what time you said dinner would be.”
Dad placed a casserole dish on the trivet in the middle of the table, then strode back to the kitchen. “I hope you brought your appetite.”
“What’s on the menu?”
“Your favorites.” Mom walked to my side and tucked my hair behind my ears. “We’re so proud of you honey. You stayed so focused on high school. Instead of partying and making silly choices you focused on what was important and your dad and I are so proud of the young adult you’ve become.”
My stomach teetered as I soaked in the compliments. I was never one to handle them well. I just did what I felt was right, so it didn’t feel like I had earned the compliments, but they warmed my insides at the same time they singed my stomach.
“Well, thank you. I had good role models.”
She pinched my cheek, then nudged me toward my usual spot.
Dad carried two more containers over, then removed the lids.
Yummy smells drifted up toward the ceiling and invaded my nose. Crab legs, mashed potatoes with dark gravy, macaroni and cheese of course, and then Boston cream donuts for dessert.
My stomach rumbled. At least the comfort foods would hopefully help ease the ache from this whole situation.
“Is Sage having a graduation party?” Mom asked while she passed the potatoes.
“I think so, but it’s sooner than mine.”
“Well, let us know. We want to send over a gift.”
Dad nodded as he scooped macaroni and cheese on his plate. “I’m surprised you’re not off getting graduation things accomplished.” He looked at Mom. “Can you believe she graduates in two days? It was like yesterday we brought her home from the hospital.”
“Don’t start that, Hank.”
He sniffed dramatically. “You’re thinking it too.”
“So what if I am? I’m not saying it and more importantly I’m not thinking about it because I want to enjoy what time we have with her before college.”
He chuckled.
“You both need to stop. I don’t want to rush the summer and all. I want to relish it. I have only been free for like a day.”
“Okay, you’re right,” Dad said.
Mom gave me her famous attorney stare. “Doing that with a certain boy in mind?” She arched an eyebrow daring me to contradict her.
And with that question went the hope of not thinking about Wyatt.
Without looking her in the eyes I said, “No.”
But even without making eye contact I could feel the pressure of her gaze. It was an impressive gift and did wonders for keeping me out of trouble if I dared to even deviate from the rules, but if I avoided direct eye contact, I could pretend she wasn’t boring holes into my head.
“Well, I’m glad you aren’t spending time with any boys. You can wait to do that in college too,” Dad said.
And darn it if that didn’t grab my attention and cause direct eye contact with my mom.
“So what happened?”
My food suddenly became less appealing than at the outset. “Why did something have to happen?”
“Because, you’ve been preoccupied for weeks and now we get a chance to see you during prime daylight time. The evidence states something happened.”
“Don’t lawyer me.”
“Can’t help it and that’s not an answer either.”
“It was just tutoring, Mom.”
She gave me a knowing look. “If that’s all it was, then take my law license and call me a clown.”
I crossed my arms. “We view things differently.”
She laughed. “Honey, you don’t have to align all your future prospects right this instant. There’s no harm in having fun and being a kid.”
“Why have fun if it goes nowhere in the end?”
“Because that’s the point at your age. You don’t have to find a husband yet. I love your planning and organization, Mar, but I also think it gets in the way of spontaneity and joy that your age can bring. You never get to be so carefree again, don’t waste that time.”
“I think you might be the only parents in the world that would find organization and logical reasoning as a negative. You might as well shout YOLO from the windows with that speech.”
“I for one agree with Marley here. Are we really saying she should be reckless?”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Hank, our daughter could never be reckless, but a little fun without everything having to have some link for long-term is too far. She needs a little balance don’t you think? I mean, you and I weren’t so rigid in high school.”
“Maybe not, but it’s her choice. If she doesn’t think it makes sense, we should trust that too.”
Mom eyed me warily. “I don’t think she actually believes it, or I would trust her.” She shrugged. “But what do I know?” She winked and continued eating, dropping the topic altogether, but it was too late.
My brain was now on overdrive. That was now three people that didn’t believe what I was saying. Wyatt might have been wrong, but Sage and my mom knew me well. Could I really dismiss their advice so completely? Should I have given us time for the dust to settle?
So instead of sleeping restfully that night, my thoughts swirled. How could they have seen something I couldn’t see? Shouldn’t the person in the relationship know best?