The look on Aiden's face when Barrett walks into the room affects me more than it should. I can see the pain, the surprise, the thinly veiled anger… and betrayal. That cuts through me like a hot knife.
But just as quick as it’s there, it’s gone. He shuts it down and a mask slips into place, turning him into a man I don’t recognize. It takes me back to that horrible morning in the hotel room a year ago. That time it was me feeling deceived. Is this what it feels like to know you've hurt someone you love?
Knowing the history between these two men, it’s understandable that they still despise each other—each with their own completely different reasons.
Aiden and Barrett were in the FBI Academy together. Best friends who were going to take on the world… together. That was until they let a woman play them against one another and destroy the bond they had. Fast forward several years and their careers took them in different, yet surprising-similar directions—Aiden joining the San Francisco Police Department and Barrett moving up in the FBI—and their paths crossed again. Once more, it was a woman that came between them. Except Alyssa Jacobs was an innocent party being used by her stepfather as a pawn, and Barrett was the man undercover to stop him. Another love triangle ensued and it was Barrett who got the girl—his now wife. The whole situation was what led to Aiden destroying his career and almost derailing mine, losing me in the process, all because of his hatred of Barrett and his determination to win Alyssa over.
And now, the same two men are face to face for the first time since everything went down last year.
Aiden stands, meeting Barrett’s angry gaze. “Should’ve known you’d be behind this.”
“I’m not behind shit, Lawrence. If I had anything to do with it, you wouldn’t be here, let alone breathing the same air as me. Marlee is the one who asked to loop you in. I voted against it but since you’re already in so deep you don’t even realize it, it was a foregone conclusion.”
“I’m not that man anymore,” Aiden growls and my breath catches when I find it’s me he’s looking at when he says it. Like it’s me he wants to hear it. His eyes snap back to Barrett. “I paid my penance and lost everything. Isn’t that enough for you?” He spits out and I can feel the pain in every word. “And for the record, I don’t believe Harry could be dirty. Even if he is, he wouldn’t bring me into it.”
Barrett lifts his fingers to run through his hair as he huffs out a frustrated breath. “I know the man too, remember? I wouldn’t have believed it either unless I was looking him in the eye when I questioned him. I could see it written all over his face, Lawrence. He’s compromised. I just don’t know why or how.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means one plus one does not equal two. Harry was too polished, too sure of himself and his client. The moment I left his office after meeting with him, I came back and started digging.”
Aiden’s gaze sparks with anger. “When was this?”
“Last week. As soon as Marlee told me you were back in town and working a case at Marquis, I caught a flight to Seattle.”
Aiden doesn’t seem surprised by any of that. “I’ve tried to get the client’s name out of him but he wouldn’t tell me. And fuck you for going behind my back instead of asking me what the hell was going on.”
Barrett’s sardonic laugh fills the room. “She did ask you, you said you’d try and find out. She told me, and I made the call to go see Harry.” He’s talking like I’m not even in the room, but I know this isn’t my fight. This is between them. “You can’t expect any of us to trust you? You’re lucky you got away with what you did with your pension intact.”
Aiden takes a step forward and the already tense air turns electric. “You think I don’t know that? That I haven’t fucking tortured myself over what I did? And just as I think I have a chance to move on and get on with my sorry excuse for a life, here I am, thrust back into shit I don’t want anything to do with.”
“Except you still accepted the case from Harry and came back here,” Barrett shoots back, his voice full of disbelief.
“What was I supposed to do? I tried to say no but he assured me it was a favor he had to repay and that I was the only one who could do it.”
“What else did he tell you?” I ask, hoping to diffuse the situation and get this interview of sorts back on track.
“That no one from my past would be involved. Fucking bullshit of a lie that was,” Aiden says with a shake of his head.
“We’re trying to work out what his angle is,” I say gently. “It might help us work out why it was you that had to be here and why.”
Aiden’s gaze jerks to mine. “He’s fucking clean. I’ve known him for years. He may muddy the waters but he’s straight as an arrow. He wouldn’t—”
“He did. The sooner you accept it, the better we’ll all be because then we can finally focus on bringing Decker down,” Barrett announces, his deep voice cutting through the air.
“For all I fucking know, you’re behind all of this,” Aiden stupidly says, and I move between the two men who are now pressing into my shoulders, both spitting tacks and glaring at one another.
I turn to Barrett and shove him back with both hands. “This isn’t helping anybody. Barrett, back off.” Giving him my back, I spin around and wait for Aiden to meet my eyes. He's shattered, it’s written all over his face. I hate it because I’m seeing the same defeated man that was at the hospital facing down Alyssa while we all waited for word on Barrett's surgery. It’s a man who’s sick of being used and manipulated and not being the master of his own story.
“Fuck this. I’m out.” Then he steps past me and storms toward the door.
“We’ll have to get you a burner so I can contact you,” I say just before he leaves.
“Whatever. You know where to find me.” He spears a look through Barrett before locking eyes with me. “But only you, Marls. You want my help, you’ve got it. But I’m only dealing with you.”
Barrett scoffs. “Why? Because you’re trying to get back in her bed. That’s your M.O. right?”
“No,” he says, sounding calmer than I’ve heard tonight. “Because she’s the only damn person I can trust right now.” Then he’s gone.
I fight the urge to go after him. Not that it would achieve anything right now.
My exhaustion doesn't stop me from turning on Barrett and laying into him as soon as we're alone again.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I hiss, crossing my arms over my chest. “You can't just drop that bomb on him like that.”
Barrett raises an eyebrow at me, his expression cool and collected. “Seemed like the perfect time to me.”
“That not only are you involved in this case, but the man who pulled him out of the deep dark hole he'd buried himself in might be dirty too? Yeah, sure. Great! Kick the man while he’s down and put a boot on his head while you’re at it!”
Barrett leans against the wall, eyes pinned to mine. “Listening to you two talk was productive though,” he says and suddenly I feel like a bug under a microscope because Barrett has always been able to see through the bullshit. “And how's that?” I ask, not realizing I've started pacing.
“For all his faults,”—my step falters and I come to a stop, my eyes widening as I stand there staring at Barrett. “—and believe me, I'm just as shocked as you are that I'm defending the asshole. Aiden Lawrence has found himself in the middle of something he had no damn clue about and he's being used as a pawn in some other fucker's game. I happen to know exactly what that feels like.” My breath catches at the realization of the duplicity of the situation. He's involved now just as much as we are, maybe even more so because, if our suspicions are right, he's not here by chance. “There's a reason Harry sent him into that club.”
“I know that,” I snap back at him. “We have to find out why. Doesn’t mean you had to blindside him like that. You could have eased him into it or waited until we had more information. Aiden’s going to think that I've been lying to him this whole time.”
Barrett sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair. “That’s another thing. You need to watch yourself around him.”
My whole body jerks like he's just slapped me. “Excuse me?” I say low and sharp.
As Barrett does, he ignores my tone. “You have a long history with him, and that can be both a good and a bad thing. But even you can admit that you see things in a different way when it comes to Aiden. I get that, I do. I’m just saying you need to be careful.”
“You don’t know anything.”
He sighs. “I do, because I've been where you are. I've been the one involved with a target on the case. It’s the reason I met you, remember?”
“Yet you still think ambushing the man in the middle of the night like you just did and--”
His brow jumps sky high. “You're the one who had him kidnapped off the street, Marls.”
I open my mouth and shut it again before huffing out a harsh sigh. “OK, I'll take that one.”
“Good. It was a nice touch though, just saying. But it’s now more important than ever that you keep your head about you when you're undercover, especially when he's around. We're getting so close to working this out, I can feel it. There are just a few more puzzle pieces we need to see the whole picture. Until then—”
“Keep my feelings in check, my history with Aiden under wraps, and be a robot who works and doesn't feel? Yes, boss.”
Barrett's lips twitch. “Maybe not a robot. Not sure AI is at the level of solving crimes just yet. This isn't the Minority Report movie.”
“God,” I say, fighting back a smile and failing. “That's such a geek thing to say.”
“Shut up. I love that movie.”
I shake my head. “I feel sorry for your wife. She has to put up with you and your geeky self.”
“My wife happens to love me,” he says, looking down at his watch. “Fuck. This took too fucking long.”
“Yeah,” I say, letting loose a yawn I've been holding onto for hours it seems.
Barrett rakes his hand through his hair. “OK. Now go home—well, to Quinn’s apartment—and get some sleep. You look like shit.”
I snort. “Thanks.”
Then he looks at me. “Seriously Marls. Go home. There's nothing more we can do tonight. We'll reconvene tomorrow and decide what our next move is.”
“With Aiden?”
He nods. “And with you. You're both undercover and you're going to need to work together to break this case.”
“To break Decker, you mean?”
“The sooner we work out what that asshole is up to and hopefully find Mary too, then the better off everyone will be when we bring him down.”
I nod, moving toward the door. “Marls?” I turn back to look at him, both loving and hating the soft and understanding look on his face. “I've been where you are, stuck between what you want, what you know you shouldn't have, your job and your duty. It's an impossible situation and it can tear you apart if you let it. It can cloud your brain and make you do things you wouldn't usually do. I'm never going to defend what Aiden did and the choices he made when he was in the same position, but time and distance have made me realize that I get it.”
I go still, frozen in shock. “You get it?”
“Yeah,” he replies, his voice gentle now. “I've got everything I could ever want in life and he did what he did. He made the mistake he did because he wanted what I have now. I can't imagine a life without Lys so I know that seeing me tonight, clocking her ring on my finger, knowing she's mine in a way she won't belong to anyone else, that’s had to burn because it would fucking rip me apart if I was him.”
I tilt my head, wondering when my friend, my FBI hand-holder, had a frontal lobotomy. It's the only explanation. “I think you're the one who needs sleep. You're talking like a logical man with his head screwed on straight. That's not like you, Barrett.”
“Fuck you, Marlee. In the nicest possible way,” he adds with a smirk.
“Fuck you too, Barrett. See you tomorrow. Late. I need sleep.”
“I think we all do. And Marls?”
“Yeah?” I say through another yawn.
“Be careful. You're now Quinn for the foreseeable future. Remember that.”
I sigh and with a final chin lift and a wave, I walk out of the interrogation room and down the hall.
But all I can think about is the look on Aiden's face when he realized he'd been played.
That's something I don't think I'll forget in a long time.