Chapter 1
It all starts out very innocently—a few items that you bought to decorate your home (or yourself). Nothing big, just a few “nice things” that caught your eye and that you couldn’t pass up. Then a pattern begins—a few more bargains you couldn’t refuse, a closet filled with clothes you might still wear when you lose those last five pounds someday, an attic full of things you haven’t seen in twenty years …
The mighty clutter dragon has reared its ugly head and is beginning to breathe fire down your neck, usually in the form of a spouse or family member who says: “Hey, are you starting a junk store in here? Let’s clean this stuff up and move some things out of here.”
“No!” you cry. “I’m keeping that in case I need it later!” But when is later, especially when you realize that you are keeping a pair of shoes you’ve had since the ninth grade that you will never, ever wear again?
The Chinese are right when they say that a cluttered house is a cluttered mind. Chinese tradition says that the more things you own, the more problems you will have in life. Think about it: When you were in college and had basically nothing, wasn’t life simpler, too? So why do you think all of the “live simpler” books have sold well in the last five years? We all seek a simpler life, yet many of us still have basements, attics, and family rooms filled with clutter.
Slaying the clutter dragon is actually an easy thing to do—all it takes is a new perspective, a new way of taking a hard look at yourself and honestly assessing what you truly need in life.
A woman who has recently been to China gave the best travel advice for almost any trip: “Don’t pack more than you can comfortably hold in a carry-on bag. Americans are notorious for packing more in one large suitcase than an entire Chinese family typically owns!” She was not aware of the feng shui significance her advice implied. But the truth is, most Chinese families (except for the fabulously wealthy) have a very limited need for things. They tend to have only the most necessary, basic items on hand: a bed, a couch, a kitchen table, some dishes, and silverware. Seldom will you see more than one of anything in their homes.
Keeping things that are broken, useless, or obsolete is not practicing good feng shui. In good feng shui, everything you own should provide some kind of service to you—otherwise you will become a slave to it.
The need for many things is a well-established American trait—and it can easily go from just a bad habit to a fixation that is difficult to get over. Look at the success of eBay, which lists more than a million items for sale by their owners on a daily basis. That’s a lot of stuff!
It seems unavoidable—every day, people are inundated with more and more opportunities to buy things that will supposedly enhance their lives. The overwhelming accumulation of stuff just seems to happen, but the reality is that you have much more control over your excesses than you think. Western culture has placed such an emphasis on materialism that people actually believe they need more than they do.
Every day, it becomes harder and harder to simplify, to accept life as it is right now, at this moment … and to back down from the infinite opportunities to “improve” it. Practice saying no to things for one day, and you’ll see what conscious effort it requires.
Most people believe that he who dies with the most toys wins. Watching TV commercials for a day will show you just how strongly people are pushed to become obsessed with possessions. In a decidedly unscientific experiment, a few hours of television included seventeen commercials that said viewers were absolutely nothing without the right hair color, the right car, the right home, and all the best new toys and foods. People are hit with similar images repeatedly throughout the day in everything from radio shows to billboards and shopping cart ads.
How can you tell if you’ve attained official pack-rat status? Look for the telltale signs:
It might be a good idea to do a clutter check before embarking on a fresh new journey through feng shui. The previous list identifies common trouble spots. Find the clutter traps in your own environment, make a list of them, and use it at the start of each new season. Take a good look around, regularly, to be sure you’re not creating blockages in your life by adding clutter in areas where you definitely don’t want or need it.
You probably don’t realize that much of this clutter is a sign of a real emotional, though no longer useful, attachment. When you begin to clear the clutter in your home, you also begin to release old attachments to things that no longer serve you or bring you joy.
For instance, you might be keeping an old pair of tennis shoes that you wore on a favorite date, but since the relationship ultimately didn’t work out, keeping the shoes is hanging on to something that is no longer part of your life. Such tendencies can hold you back from a rewarding new relationship, because—psychologically speaking—you are holding on to the past.
When you begin to clear away years’ worth of clutter from your attic, you may be amazed by how much stuff from your past has been holding you back from your future. Since the attic represents higher goals or aspirations, it’s no wonder you may feel like you haven’t achieved all you were capable of in life. That’s what good feng shui does—it makes you start making conscious decisions based on your true intentions.
Don’t underestimate the power of fear. As you walk through piles of old clothes, record albums, books, and knickknacks, you may ask yourself why you’ve been keeping all of these things for so long. Did you expect to use them again one day? Not likely. Instead, you probably hadn’t felt ready to relinquish your past due to your uncertainty regarding your future.
Between changing jobs, repeated moves, or various stages of marriage, the possibility of not having enough to survive is a very real concern for many people. Individuals in a state of continual change often take comfort in emotional hoarding. They collect things to pacify a soul that is yearning for love, hoping for the kind of satisfaction that money can’t buy. Often, they don’t realize what they are doing until they have so much stuff in their homes that they can hardly breathe! For good feng shui in your home, you must take a good hard look at yourself and your needs—and purge the items that no longer serve you.
The best litmus test for elimination of clutter is to look at each item and ask yourself, “When was the last time I used this?” If it was more than a year ago, it’s probably not an essential item in your life. It might be of better use to someone else.
When you really listen to others talk about their clutter (not that they would call it “clutter”), you may notice that their attachment to it almost always has its roots in a fear of not having enough to survive. Although many of these people were born after the Great Depression in the 1930s, their parents carried (and passed on) a “poverty consciousness” based upon their own experience and worries during their own family’s struggle for survival.
Emotional hoarding is not limited to possessions; the same principles of feng shui clearing apply to the “clutter” people pack into their bodies. It’s no accident that overweight people suffer from the same emotional issues as other types of hoarders and are affected by the same worry of not having enough. What’s really interesting is that when hoarders and clutter-a-holics begin to practice good feng shui and relinquish their piles of clutter, many also begin to lose weight!
Incorporating feng shui into your lifestyle and mindset is an ongoing process. It may be years before you realize that you are happy, secure, and certain. Continually evaluate where you are and what you need, and soon you will be facing down the clutter dragon. You will know that it is definitely time for a major purging, both physically and psychologically—and what a fabulous feeling it will be to finally liberate yourself from your fears or failures of the past!
As you take a deeper look into the psychological ties you’ve had to the past, don’t forget to check out the other clutter traps in your home. Think about clutter in the garage, basement, hall closet, and even in your car. Looking more deeply at the situation, what can you learn about your clutter patterns? Lots of things—for instance, the clutter in your basement—symbolizes some uneasiness in your family situation, since the basement in feng shui is symbolic of family and strong foundations.
Clutter in the garage can signify a psychological difficulty in leaving your house every day—or in coming home. If you block yourself out of your garage with clutter, you might ask yourself what it is you are having difficulty returning to in your home life. Conversely, if you are a real homebody and barricade yourself into your garage with clutter, maybe it’s time to consider starting a home-based business so you can spend more time at home but in a healthier manner.
The key to dealing with clutter is to be able to take these kinds of hard looks at yourself, your needs, and your motivations in order to find out why you are keeping what you are keeping. Once you understand your motivations, you can eliminate the clutter for good—and greatly improve your inner sense of well-being in the meantime.
What is emotional hoarding?
Emotional hoarding is the collecting of things to satisfy the soul’s need for comfort, security, love, or other intangibles that money can’t buy.
A central aspect to the study of feng shui, and metaphysics in general, is the concept of continual abundance. Through prosperity consciousness, as it is also called, the more you give the more you are open to receive. There is no such thing as, “I may need it someday,” because as soon as you give something away, you create a space for whatever is new and needed at the moment. If you give in to the worry about never having enough, you will create a life in which you really can never have enough to be happy.
Instead, reframe your thinking to accept yourself where you are now in your life. You will always be prosperous because you will attract positive abundance. It’s such a simple concept, yet difficult for most to master without consistent (and committed) practice. It may take several years to look at yourself, and your life, from this perspective on a regular basis.
One of the basic laws of metaphysics (often thought of as the workings of karma) is that what you put out to the Universe is what you will receive back. So, if you tell the Universe that you expect to be poor and unhealthy, that is the life you will create for yourself just from your own limiting state of mind. The real magic of life comes from your own beliefs about what you think you can achieve.
The piles sit on the floor, are tucked (or stuffed) under furniture, or are balanced precariously in a corner. You want to clean them up, but there’s a problem: None of this stuff is yours; it’s somebody else’s pile of clutter.
What can you do? Begin by approaching the person in a friendly manner and offering to help him or her put the items away. People are fiercely protective of their things, so don’t just start putting things away, or (worse yet) start pitching them in the trash. Respect your partner’s or family member’s need for some privacy—and ownership.
Try to get to the root of the problem by asking some simple questions: “Does this still serve a purpose for you? Does it bring you joy or have special meaning? If so, we can find a special place for it. If not, maybe we can donate it so that someone else can use it.”
Take the lead by becoming a positive, shining example. When you clear your own clutter, you may inspire those around you to be tidy, too. If your kitchen table is stacked high with mail or projects, on the other hand, it won’t even be noticeable if someone adds a lunch box or an extra set of keys to your pile of clutter.
One practical suggestion: Create opportunities for storage solutions by placing a “collection container” in hallways or closets. If there is a designated place for clutter collection, the clutter will become part of a more organized thought process—the first step toward elimination!
When cleaning your house, don’t forget dirt and dust traps such as windowsills, molding, chair rails, and light fixtures. Dust and dirt hold chi down.
Staying positive and focusing on solutions will go a long way toward quickly clearing clutter, yours and others. Don’t interfere too much with other people’s purging process, especially if they seem reluctant at first. Inspire them by setting a good and lasting example of a person who is free from the binding nature of “too many things.” It’s just like Gandhi said: “You must be the change you want to see.”
Okay, let’s say you’ve cleared the clutter in your attic, garage, and basement and the rest of your home is sparkling clean. Now you’re all ready for some feng shui, right?
Not necessarily. There are other kinds of clutter besides physical clutter, and though they might not be as obvious, they can create obstacles in your life nonetheless.
Clearing your mind—whether it’s cluttered by worry, food, or overbooking—is necessary for your personal chi, and a very healthy thing to do. If journaling seems like it might take too much time, try a “Thoughts and Worries” jar with little slips of paper containing your concerns. What you’re doing, of course, is giving your anxiety clutter another place to live. Here’s another way to purge those concerns that aren’t helping you: Get into a quiet space, breathe deeply, and mentally hit the “delete” key in your brain to rid yourself of negativity!
The most important thing about clearing clutter of all kinds is to recognize that it is necessary in order to wipe your energy slate clean, so to speak. You want to start rearranging your home and surroundings in the most positive, unaffected way possible—and clutter blocks any and all good energy from flowing positively through your personal environment. It is the root of all “chi” problems, and while using this book will help you overcome binding clutter for good, it might be helpful on your life-altering journey to learn more about the basics of good feng shui.