Oh, my God. Are you insane?”
Lind looked up and found a girl staring at his shopping basket, openmouthed. Not just any girl. It was the girl from the Delta counter, the pretty, pale-faced girl who’d recognized him before his flight to Duluth. She was here, in the Super Fresh, and she was talking to him again.
“TV dinners and coffee.” She was pawing through his groceries. “Oh, and Red Bull. Not a vegetable in sight. What are you, a long-distance trucker?”
Lind shifted his weight. Felt the first hint of panic, black and cold. He wondered how the girl had found him. “I’m not a long-distance trucker,” he said.
The girl looked up at him with her big eyes. “You can’t eat like this,” she said. “So unhealthy. It’s a miracle you’re not three hundred pounds already.”
Lind looked up and down the aisle. Wished the girl would go away. Wondered if he should just make a break for it.
He’d run out of coffee. He’d nearly fallen asleep, and he needed caffeine. Coffee. Red Bull. And maybe something to eat. The man had told him to stay in the apartment, but he couldn’t expect him to starve, could he?
The girl was still looking at him. “You okay?”
Lind didn’t answer. The panic was stronger now. His head started to buzz. He would attract undue attention, he knew, if he ran. People would stare. He would have to get through this. “Yes,” he said. “I’m fine.”
“I saw you by the coffee,” she said. “Thought it was you. Do you live around here?”
The pressure was building in his skull. The buzzing inside his ears. Lind tried to keep his breathing steady. The girl frowned again. “You sure you’re okay, man?”
“I’m fine,” Lind said. “Really.”
She studied his face for a moment, and Lind hoped she’d take the hint and just leave him alone. She sighed and straightened and started to turn away. Then she stopped. “I’m Caity,” she said. “Sorry. I don’t normally do this, I just . . . you know, I just wanted to say hi.”
“Okay,” Lind said. “Hi.”
She looked down. Shifted her weight, like she was deciding something. The pressure was back now, just behind Lind’s eyes. He watched her and waited and tried not to scream.
“Do you live around here?” she said again. “I mean, I guess you must if you’re shopping here, right? I live down on Pine, like, a couple blocks that way?”
Lind nodded. “Okay.”
“Where do you live?”
He shrugged. Thought of the man and wanted to pass out, to retch, to tear his face off. Anything to ease the pressure in his brain. “I live downtown,” he said. “I have an apartment.” He looked at her. “I need to go home now.”
“Okay.” The girl frowned. “Okay, yeah. I’m sorry.”
Lind didn’t say anything.
“I didn’t mean to bug you,” she said. “I just thought, you know, it was cool. Running into you and everything. I’m doing this thing where I’m trying to push my limits, you know? Get out of my comfort zone. I thought, what the hell, just say something to him. I didn’t mean to make fun of your dinner.”
Lind waited. She still wasn’t moving. “It’s okay,” he said finally.
“Yeah,” she said. “Okay. Guess I’ll see you.”
She turned and walked away. He watched her go, feeling the pressure ease as she drifted up the aisle. He’d upset her, he knew. That shouldn’t matter. He should pay for his groceries and go back to the apartment and wait. He knew the man would want him there. He knew the man might be calling right now.
The girl stopped halfway up the aisle. Picked up a package of coffee and looked at it. Then she glanced back at him and frowned. “What?”
Lind shook his head. It was time to go. He should just turn around and walk out of the store. Now, before the panic came back.
He didn’t move.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
The girl furrowed her brow, but she relaxed a little. “What for?”
Lind looked at her. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. He didn’t know what to tell her. He wanted to disappear.
She stared at him, waiting for his answer. The panic was beginning again. Soon it would overwhelm him. He knew it. But the girl was still waiting.
Lind shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”