| |
“I CANNOT DO THIS!” Akari threw her katana to the ground. Her arm ached and throbbed but her heart ached far worse as she gazed at the beautiful, stunning white world around her.
“It is not your arm that is broken,” Radon murmured.
Akari glanced at him. Deep within her soul, she knew it was her who was broken. No longer a samurai, no longer a wife or mother. Shinji. Keizo. Their names were a cry, a scream of all that she felt inside and endured in silence.
Radon pulled her into his embrace and warmth settled through her. “Let yourself grieve for those you have lost.”
Could she? Perhaps all along she had known that it was the grief that held her back, the fear of moving on, of letting go, that had kept her from truly trying to heal and learning to fight again. Then again, this was about far more than learning to fight again, at least, physically.
Internally, Akari battled far harder than she ever had in any battle. Her heart and soul battled with grief and guilt, the pain at all she had lost, the terrifying, horrible knowledge that Shinji was gone, truly gone. Accepting it was far more difficult and part of her could not bear to part with him.
How? How could she say goodbye and let him go? She loved him! He was her soulmate, the man she loved more than anything in the world.
“I will get you through.” Radon’s calming voice washed over her with his light. For a moment, she let his truth sink deep inside her as she exhaled deeply.
Finally, Akari released the tears she had been holding inside, tears that spoke the words she could not say; I miss you. My life is empty without you. I am lost and alone, filled with guilt and regret. I wish that I could go back and undo what happened, Shinji and Keizo. The knowledge that I cannot haunts me every day. I have forgotten the cherry blossoms, my love, and all that they meant. The present is nothing but agony and emptiness for me. The truth is, I am afraid. Afraid to move forward into this new journey awaiting me. What if I forget you? Forget what we had? How can I leave our son and find happiness elsewhere?
When at last her sobs quieted to whimpers, Radon finally released her. “You will heal, Akari. The wounds you have are not forever—they will not last. Neither will the pain.” His voice filled her being with warmth and light, with a peace she did not know she had.
For the first time since Shinji’s death, Akari smiled and knew she would be healed.
