‘Finn!’

I wake in the half-light to find Ray leaning over and shaking me. Kas stirs too and we both look up at him, trying to make sense of what’s going on.

‘You’d better come in,’ he says. ‘It’s Rose.’

We scramble up and straightaway the cold morning air hits me. I can still feel Kas’s warmth where she’s been lying against my back.

She keeps hold of my hand as we walk through into the kitchen. The sun isn’t up yet, but there’s enough morning light in the house for us to see. Ray’s got the lamp in Rose’s bedroom, filling it with a dull light.

She’s lying back on her elbows with her head up and a look of disbelief on her face. The sheets are wet. Not just perspiration wet, they’re saturated.

‘Her waters have broken,’ Ray says.

I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I figure it can’t be good.

‘The baby’s coming,’ he explains.

Kas kneels down next to Rose and tucks her sister’s wet hair back behind her ears.

‘You okay?’ she asks.

Rose is more alert than she was last night, but I can tell she’s scared.

‘It’s too soon,’ she says. ‘It’s too soon.’

‘We don’t know that, Rose.’ Ray’s voice is solid, careful. ‘It could be perfectly normal for all we know. You could be due.’

‘Fuck!’ Rose says and her head drops back into the pillows.

‘All right, you two,’ Ray says to Kas and me. ‘We’ve gotta be as prepared as we can. We’ll need clean water and you’ll find some towels in the cupboard in the hallway.’

I’m not sure if he actually knows what he’s doing or if he’s remembering some old movie he saw years ago. Either way, I’m just happy to have someone else making the decisions.

Kas and I are getting everything organised in the kitchen when we hear a low growl that progresses to a long aaah sound.

‘It’s a contraction,’ Kas says. ‘Get used to the noise, there’s going to be a lot more of it.’

‘How do you know about that?’ I ask.

‘The feedstore. There was a girl that had a baby. She was younger than Rose. I helped.’

‘You need to tell Ray,’ I say.

She heads back into the bedroom and I hear their short conversation. Ray goes through to the lounge room and returns with a thick book under his arm. He puts it down on the table.

‘Remember I told you about this?’ he says. ‘It’s an old textbook of Harriet’s. There’s a section on births.’

He bustles out to the porch and returns with another kero lamp, which he lights and places on the table.

‘I’m gonna help Kas,’ he says. ‘Find the right page and start reading, son. We’ll need all the information we can get.’

I hold the book up. Human Anatomy and Physiology. I flick to the index and find Chapter 17, ‘The Stages of Labour’, and start reading.

‘Ray,’ I say. He sticks his head around the door. ‘We need to time the contractions.’

‘You’d better start counting,’ he says.

Kas comes back out and sits down next to me. She loops her arm through mine and starts to read too.

‘Rose says she’s been having little contractions all night. That was the first big one, though.’

‘How is she?’ I ask.

‘It’s hard to tell. She’s not making a lot of sense—and that’s a worry. When the contractions get really heavy she’ll have to concentrate on her breathing and try to keep it together. It could take hours or it could happen quickly. Everyone’s different.’

‘What about the girl at the feedstore?’

‘Danka was another Siley. She was my best friend in there. We were the same age, but she was really pretty. I think she was happy when she got pregnant—meant she didn’t have to work as much. It took about twelve hours for her baby to come.’

I turn the page and there are diagrams of a baby being born. It all looks so clean and neat in the pictures.

‘Rose is tough,’ Kas says, ‘but she’s sick. I’ve never seen her this thin.’

Willow wanders into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She climbs onto Kas’s lap.

‘Is Rose going to have a baby?’ Willow asks.

‘Yes, she is,’ I say.

Rose moans loudly. Kas pushes Willow off, jumps up, and goes into the bedroom.

The moans become louder, broken by short periods of silence. I can hear Rose’s loud intakes of air before more low groans. Willow buries her face in my jumper and covers her ears.

Ray comes and sits opposite us. He looks so much older, his face more grizzled.

I ask Willow to go and give Rowdy some food out on the porch. Ray follows her with a plate of bones.

When we’re alone again, with just the sound of Rose’s contractions in the next room, I ask Ray if Rose told him anything about the dead man I found in the paddock on Parker Street.

‘He had an arrow in the back of his leg,’ I explain, ‘and a knife sticking out of his chest. It was one of our kitchen knives.’

‘She said there’d been a fight, but she didn’t tell me about killing anyone.’ He scratches the bristles on his chin. ‘She’s as fierce as they come. I can only guess what they did to her up there at Longley, but whatever it was she’ll do anything not to go back.’

‘She was protecting us too. She knew the Wilder had found my place. He had to be kept silent.’

‘Well, he can’t get any more silent than that.’

There’s a louder, longer groan from the bedroom and I hear Kas telling Rose to breathe. The contractions are getting closer together. We’ve got everything ready: basins for warm water, plenty of towels and a couple of big cushions for Rose if she needs to get into a more comfortable position. Ray has lit a fire in the combustion stove.

‘We’re all going to have to help in there, Finn,’ he says. ‘You as well.’

‘But I don’t know what to do, Ray.’

‘She’s gonna scream the house down most likely. Harriet used to say childbirth was like trying to push a basketball through a garden hose. I went with her once, over to Brigid Watson’s place. They had the next farm over. It was when there were no doctors left on the coast. Her husband had died and her kids were just young’uns, so they weren’t much help. Strongest woman I ever seen. She ran that farm on her own, even while she was pregnant. Harriet said she had child-bearing hips.’

‘What’s that mean?’

‘A big arse, I reckon. Anyway, the baby slipped out like toothpaste from a tube. Cute little bugger, too. Girl. Didn’t live past her first birthday, though. But I watched what Harriet did, getting Brigid comfortable, talking to her the whole time. Reassuring her. Brigid delivered the baby on all fours.’

I’m starting to feel a bit sick with this detail, but at least I know more of what to expect.

‘Rose doesn’t have child-bearing hips,’ I say.

‘No, she doesn’t, son. But she’s got youth on her side.’

Kas, Ray and I spend the day and most of the night taking it in turns to sit with Rose, trying to reassure her. The contractions gradually grow more intense, longer and closer together.

It must be well after midnight when Ray lights the lamp and brings it back into the bedroom. The brightness seems to startle Rose, who hasn’t said much, apart from swearing, for a while. But with the light she becomes more lucid.

Between the contractions I wipe the sweat off her face and rub her back. She surprises me when she leans into my shoulder and puts her arm around my neck.

‘Hey, dog boy,’ she whispers.

‘Hey,’ I say. ‘How you feeling?’

‘Like shit. Feels like a pony kicking around inside me.’

‘You’ll be okay,’ I say, trying to convince myself as much as her. ‘You’ll both be okay.’

‘If…’

‘If what?’

‘Promise me you and Kas will…’

‘We’ll all look after the baby together,’ I say. ‘You and me and Kas and Ray and Willow. All of us. We’re a family now.’

‘A family?’ Her face softens. ‘It’s a long time since I had a family.’

‘Well, you’ve got one now.’

She looks at me. Her eyes are still red and her face is flushed. ‘Thanks for finding Kas,’ she says. ‘She told me a bit about what happened.’

‘She’s as tough as you, your sister.’

‘Tougher, I reckon.’

Exhausted again, she falls back onto the pillow.

‘Keep talking, Finn,’ she whispers. ‘I like to hear your voice.’

‘About what?’

‘Anything. Like you talked to me in the kitchen that first day.’

‘Growly, you mean?’

‘Ha. No, not so growly.’

‘I like Kas,’ I say. ‘She’s fierce, but she’s got a soft side, too.’

It doesn’t take long before the next contraction swells and takes over her whole body. It’s like she’s losing the strength to deal with each new one.

She rolls onto her side, then slowly lifts herself up onto her hands and knees. Her mouth is pulled tight and her knees are shaking. She lets out a scream.

‘Get Kas,’ she gasps. ‘And Ray.’

I don’t need to call them; they’ve both heard the scream. Rose buries her head in the pillow and her hips sway from side to side. The contractions are so close together now; she hardly has time to recover from one when the next one hits. Sweat drips from her face to her chest.

Rose stands behind her sister and, at the next contraction, gasps.

‘I can see the head! I can see the head!’

But Rose slumps forwards, her head hitting the bedend. Kas holds her by the hips and lifts her off her stomach.

‘Rose,’ she urges, ‘you’re nearly there. When the next contraction comes, push with everything you’ve got.’

Rose’s voice is low, drained. ‘I can’t.’

‘You can. I know you can,’ Kas says. ‘It’ll be over soon. I promise.’

Kas looks at Ray and me and mouths Help.

‘Come round here,’ Ray says, taking my arm. He gets me to kneel on the bed in front of Rose so she can put her arms over my shoulders for support. She pushes her forehead hard into my chest. When she looks up I can see her eyes rolling around, as though she’s struggling to stay conscious. When the next contraction grips her, she digs her hands into my back and screams.

‘That’s good, Rose. Good. The head is coming,’ Kas says. I can hear the control in her voice. ‘Push. Push.’

But Rose has gone limp in my arms. Her breath is coming in short bursts. Her whole weight is falling into me. I take her face in my hands and bring it close to mine.

‘Come on, Rose, one more push,’ I say.

Her eyes flicker open. Then she draws herself up and her body tenses again before she bears down and all her remaining energy goes into a scream that’s so close I can feel it.

‘One more, one more.’ Kas is shouting now.

But Rose’s arms have fallen off my shoulders and her head rolls away to the side. I turn her face towards me and gently slap her cheek.

‘Stay with us, Rose,’ I say. ‘Stay with us. Please…’

I put my face against hers. My tears mix with the saltiness of her sweat.

‘I think she’s unconscious,’ I hear myself say.

‘Gravity,’ Ray says. ‘We’ve gotta use gravity.’ He pulls Rose around to the side of the bed, kneels down and takes her weight on his shoulders. ‘When I lift,’ he tells Kas, ‘you’re going to have to pull. We’ve gotta get the baby out. Finn, help me lift her.’

I slip in under him and take some of the weight in my arms.

‘Now,’ he says. ‘Now!’

I see the head between Rose’s legs. Kas is pulling and turning. I see the shoulders and then the whole body slips out into her hands.

Ray eases Rose back down onto the bed just as the baby cries.

‘It’s a girl,’ Kas says, tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘It’s a girl.’

Ray has a piece of string, which he ties around the umbilical cord, then produces another piece and ties that around too. Kas has a pair of scissors and she cuts the cord. Then she wraps the baby in a towel.

When we gently roll Rose over we see the blood. It’s falling in big drops onto the sheets.

‘She’s hemorrhaging,’ Ray says. He bundles up a towel and puts it between Rose’s legs. ‘I don’t know how to stop it.’

Kas has the baby wrapped up and she kneels down next to Rose, nuzzling the baby’s face against Rose’s. I don’t know whether I imagine it, but I’m sure I see a smile on Rose’s lips. Her whole body is limp. I’m not sure she’s even breathing.

Ray takes the baby and hands her to me, then he puts his head to Rose’s chest and listens. He tilts her head back and begins to give her mouth-to-mouth.

Kas lifts her sister’s hand to her face, kisses it and whispers, ‘Don’t leave me, Rose. Don’t leave me.’

Ray starts to press up and down on her chest, but her body is so small and wasted he’s afraid to push too hard. The towel between her legs is soaked with blood.

After a few minutes Ray checks for breathing again. There’s nothing. He keeps trying, but eventually he has to stop.

Kas climbs onto the bed and cradles Rose’s head in her lap. I hand her the baby and she holds her against her sister’s breast. Ray looks at me and nods towards the door.

Back out in the kitchen, Willow is sitting with Rowdy in his basket, her eyes wide.

‘Is there a baby?’ she asks.

I scoop her up in my arms because I just want someone to hug. ‘Yes. A little girl.’

Ray sits at the table with his head resting on his arms. It’s been a long night.

I feel numb. It’s like the world has overtaken me and I want to scream and yell at God or the sky. I want to say it’s not fair. I want to say we’re only kids and we shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff, that there should be more adults like Ray to help us.

But all I can do is rock Willow in my arms. I can’t even cry anymore. I’ve been hollowed out and there’s nothing left. I think of Mum and Dad dying and of the hole they left in my life. It shouldn’t keep happening, I’ve had my fair share. It’s someone else’s turn.

There’s a faint sound coming from the bedroom, a cooing, encouraging voice: Kas talking to the baby. I take Willow to the door. She wants to see the baby. But when I’m in the doorway, Ray’s voice cuts through the house, urgent.

‘Finn!’

I turn back around to see light out through the kitchen window. It takes me a second to work out it’s a flaming torch. And not just one—there are four of them crossing the paddock towards the house. And then, a noise that starts like a buzzing in the back of my head. Slowly it increases until I realise what it is.

A trailbike.