4.

Talwar. He savored the name as he curled up to sleep. Yes, it felt right, although his uncle had probably chosen it to spite him and his father. Talwar was a sword, the curved saber of the fighting monks of Zindagi. The noblemen and warriors usually preferred scimitars, like the one he'd been given after the initiation ceremony.

The fighting monks' sword name suited him fine. He could protect life and be the sword of Zindagi. And any kind of sword was nobler than an assassin's weapon.

He could have been named Chakram. The brass wheels were used only by assassins and fighting monks. The brass was beaten into a circular form the size of a small plate, two fingers broad, sharp outside and without edge inside, so it could be worn around the wrists or – the bigger ones – around the neck or over the turban. When thrown, they cut through everything and were often deadlier than arrows.

Or he could have received a dagger's name like his father, Jamdhar, or Khanjar.

Khanda was also a sword's name, but then, so was Khopesh. Talwar wondered if the match could be switched between him and his cousin. If he'd marry a woman with a sword's name, or a dagger, or a pole-arm. Khanjar had mentioned a Guisarme who could probably become Talwar's bride.

Talwar awoke the next morning from dreams of glory, feeling like a sword, but he didn't have a purpose yet. He'd better get out of bed and do something about it.

The following days were spent rekindling his relationships – with his friends, with his father, with the rest of the Guild. He exercised with Khanjar in the courtyard of the palace and went around the city with him, showing him his favorite places.

Then his father went back to the fortress, leaving him alone while Jamdhar consulted with Gupti to find Talwar a suitable bride. Talwar didn't have time to talk to Khanda, but every time they were in the same room, he could feel her eyes on him and could hardly keep his eyes off her. But they were never alone and Khopesh seemed to guard her fiercely.

The scarification process ended, leaving him with a fairly tortured torso that didn't hurt anymore. He compared his to Khanjar's the day they went to bathe in the river and did a swimming challenge for a change.

"Do you think your sister will still want me?" Khanjar asked, worried, laying on the river shore with his legs half submerged after the swim.

"If she truly loves you, of course she will," Talwar replied, amused. "We often saw our father's scars, so we're used to scarred men."

"You're right, the scarification is part of our initiation rite. We're not men if we don't have scars."

"Thank the gods our women are spared the scarification."

"Indeed. Has your father told you anything about Guisarme?"

"Apparently her father has already betrothed her, so he's gone back to the fortress to consult with my mother."

"Ah!" Khanjar chuckled. "So you're all alone in the apartment! Are you seeing any of your old friends?"

"No. A girl caught my eye three years ago, but we weren't meant to be."

"Mm. Do you think your father will consider one of my sisters for you?"

"I don't know, how are they coming along?"

"They're growing up fine... Anjali is very close to Sunita, much like we were, since they're the same age..."

"Perhaps our families will be joined by a double wedding, then. Do you think Anjali would find me attractive?"

"She hasn't seen you in years!" Khanjar burst out laughing. "And she's a dutiful daughter who does her father's bidding... unlike Ashrita!"

"Khanda," Talwar corrected.

"Khanda," Khanjar repeated, amused, before throwing water in Talwar's face, making him sputter.

"I'll drown you!" Talwar roared as they playfully fought in the shallow water close to the shore.

It felt good to have someone to talk to again. Talwar was an introvert and always had very few friends. Having lost his monastery companion, he was glad things between him and Khanjar had returned like during childhood.

***

Then he was given a new mission, and again he was paired with his cousin. And Khanda. What was left of Lord Anand's family was being troublesome, and they should get rid of them. Men, women and even children who could one day raise their voice and want to avenge Lord Anand's death.

Khopesh took the lead as usual. Talwar was so unhappy with the mission, he gloomily followed them through the darkened streets of Agharek.

"I go to the men, Khanda gets the women and you go to the nursery," Khopesh said, giving orders as if it were his god-given right. "Unless you want to kill the women," he added with a smirk.

"Nursery is fine," Talwar said through gritted teeth, not looking at any of them.

"Good, it is settled, then," Khopesh said, putting his hand around Khanda's waist.

"Hands off," she snapped.

Talwar barely glanced their way. Khopesh was trying to pull Khanda closer, but she wouldn't have any of it.

"We're going in stealthily, you don't need to pretend!" she insisted, steering away from Khopesh and moving to the other side of Talwar so he'd be standing between them.

Khopesh glared at both, but kept going. Talwar stared straight ahead, trying not to think about what was to come. Khanda squeezed his fingers briefly and let go. When he looked at her, she didn't return the stare. She walked stiffly, her lips thinned in repressed anger, her beautiful face frowning in the night.

That wasn't someone he'd want to anger. She could stand up to Khopesh. She knew what she wanted. He must find out what she really wanted, but now was not the right time.

They reached Lord Anand's palace and split as soon as they forced themselves through the back entrance. The palace was quiet and dark, but they had studied a plan of it. It was very similar to the Guild's palace so each of them knew where to go.

The upper floor, the noble apartments. Couples, two of Lord Anand's daughters still unmarried, the nursery. Lord Anand's three wives had committed ritual suicide on their husband's funeral pyre, but their offspring seemed determined to avenge their father's murder.

Talwar moved silently through the tiled corridor. The nursery had half a dozen children from a baby to a seven-year-old along with a wet-nurse who was curled up in a corner. He started with her, using the silken noose to strangle her.

She awoke and tried to scream as she choked. He kept pulling the silken noose until she stopped shaking. He realized the noose had cut into her throat and she was bleeding as if he'd cut her with his dagger.

Disgusted with himself, he let go of her body and wrapped the noose around his wrist again. He was out of breath and had to calm his racing heart. Yes, he knew how to be a noose operator, but he hated it even more now that he'd actually done it. Stealing a life. An innocent life. What was the wet-nurse's fault? To be in charge of the children of the household. And for that she had died.

And he wasn't done. He took his dagger and quickly thrust it into the little bodies, stealing more innocent lives who would never grow up. The bloodbath left him weak in the knees and sick to the stomach.

He cleaned the dagger's blade on the bloodied bedsheets and quickly slid out of the nursery. He was horrified with what he'd just done and briefly considered cutting his wrists to atone for the killing.

His destiny couldn't be to kill in cold blood. He was better than that. He must find a way to get out of the guild. Killing children! Where was this going? What would be next?

He couldn't bear the thought of more missions. Holding a hand on his stomach, he met Khanda and Khopesh at the backdoor. She looked troubled, but he was smirking as usual. Heartless bastard.

"Done?" Khopesh whispered. Both Talwar and Khanda nodded and Khopesh signaled them to move.

They went back to the Guild's palace in total silence. Talwar didn't think he'd ever speak again. He felt dirty and unworthy and wondered why he was doing this. He should be the sword of Zindagi, protecting life, not stealing it from innocents in the dead of the night.

Khanda's light caress before they parted gave him some kind of relief, but he slept fitfully and awoke grumpy the next morning.

***

Khanda wondered if Talwar was avoiding her on purpose. Or if he was just being a dutiful son and obeying his bastard of a cousin, staying away from her. She was almost certain Khopesh had told Talwar she was his.

She was nobody's property. And Talwar was still the shy one. He obeyed orders, but... She wondered if he'd rebel – how he felt, about their families, their job, her.

They had gone on a mission together. She could tell he was as upset as she was. The first mission had turned her into a courtesan-assassin, seducing and killing a man. The second mission meant she had to kill women.

Harmless women. Sleeping women. She hated herself for what she'd had to do. She wondered if Talwar felt the same. If he was fed up with their families too. If they could get away from Agharek and their powerful parents and live peacefully somewhere else.

But there was no way to speak to him in private. Khopesh seemed to be always by her side. Talwar's sisters were still at the fortress and Sameera wasn't trustworthy enough to use as messenger to her cousin. She might not like her brother, but that didn't mean she was ready to take her cousin's side.

Khanda must find a way to speak to Talwar. They must leave and forge another life for themselves. A life where they helped people and set up a family of good citizens, even though they had to give up their parents' wealth. But they were young enough to learn another job.

Time seemed to stand still in the heat of the white walls of Agharek. Even her winged friends weren't enough to calm her. She just wanted to leave everything and everyone behind. But she had to at least try to take Talwar along.

***

Talking about the mission with Khanjar didn't help. His childhood friend didn't mind killing strangers. He didn't enjoy it, but he didn't mind either. Talwar soon understood that this time Khanjar wasn't on his side, but he knew that Khanda would understand. Except finding her alone wasn't easy, since both were busy with different social duties.

The occasion came during a ball held in the great hall. All the families of the Assassins' Guild currently in town had been invited to the Head's home to celebrate the demise of Lord Anand's family – a very secret party the town knew nothing about.

Khanjar commented that probably Khopesh hoped to announce his betrothal to Khanda, but the maiden hadn't said anything yet. Nobody knew whom she would choose, but if she declined Khopesh's proposal, she'd have to leave the palace, which made Talwar's heart shrink.

If he thought he could never see her again... Although if she rejected Khopesh, he could step in. He'd have to tell his father, which didn't make him happy. He was still too dependent on the family, both emotionally and financially. He should find the strength to leave and make his own path.

The ballroom was full of young people in their best clothes – silks, damasks and elegant shapes – but his dancing skills were close to nothing. He was too tall to be balanced and often said he danced like a bear. Not a pretty sight and certainly not a good way to win a woman.

Khopesh was a very good dancer and he showed off his skills once again, mostly with Khanda, until she said she needed rest. The musicians started playing a slower tune, but Khanda didn't take Khopesh's offered hand. She turned to Talwar, who was standing against a column, observing the dancers, and offered her hand to him.

"Why don't you dance with me, Talwar?"

"I... uh... I'm not a very good dancer," he apologized, taken by surprise.

"I will make you twirl some more!" Khopesh offered.

"No, thank you," she snapped. "I wish to dance with your cousin now."

Her hand was still extended towards Talwar, waiting. Her ice-blue eyes looked straight at him. Her luscious lips curved into a smile.

Dazzled by her face and her jewelry, he took that hand and led her to the dance floor. Slow dances were easier for him than the fast ones. He took her in his arms and tried to keep the rhythm, swaying gently left and right as she followed lightly in his steps.

"It seems this is the only way to talk to you without anyone eavesdropping," she said. "The other way seems too forward even for me."

"What would the other way be?" he asked, puzzled.

"Me knocking on your door, knowing you're alone?" she suggested with an impish smile.

He choked on the reply. Yes, that would be too much even for her. She'd be called a whore for meeting a young man alone.

"That's why I haven't knocked on your door yet," he said, after gulping his shock at the thought. "I wanted to talk about the mission we did together."

"Not now, there isn't much time. I have a more pressing matter to tell you. Do you wonder why I'm here?" she replied, amused.

"Because Khopesh wants to marry you?"

"That's the official reason, Talwar. The real reason is to see what you've become. And you're actually even better than I expected you to be. Forgive my forwardness, but you don't seem to be taking hints well, so I'll spell it out for you." She took a deep breath and stared at him. "I've been in love with you since I discovered what love is. I missed you dearly for those seven years you were away. I was afraid they'd change you. But now that I see how you came out of the initiation rite, and especially after that mission that has obviously upset you as much as it upset me, I'm very happy to see my love wasn't wasted. Now I only need you to be a little more forward with my father and yours, and request me in marriage, and we'll live happily ever after."

Talwar stopped dancing and gaped at her. It must have taken her some courage to say all those things aloud in a crowded room during a ball that was supposed to celebrate her betrothal to his cousin! A betrothal that would never happen, now that he knew how she felt.

"Keep moving, please." She gently nudged him, and he resumed dancing, closing his mouth.

He quickly glanced around, but everybody looked oblivious. The music was loud enough to cover words, but she was right. There wasn't much time, Khopesh was staring at them – eyes narrowed and lips thinned – ready to come over as soon as the song ended.

"Khanda, I... I am overwhelmed by your speech. I had noticed the mission was tough on you as much as it was on me, but I didn't know how to broach the subject... and I certainly wasn't hoping you'd return the feeling that burst inside me when we met again. I admit I wasn't really interested in women when I left, but now... you make me want to hold you and protect you for the rest of my life!"

She smiled and looked away. "Just like I expected, my proud and shy Talwar... I shall tell Khopesh that I do not wish to marry him and will wait for your father's request."

"I shall write to him to come immediately and request you on my behalf," he promised gravely. "You can go back to your family's palace and await the summons."

"I look forward to it," she whispered in his ear, leaning against him and making his heart beat faster. She smelled of jasmine and perfumed soap. He barely refrained from squeezing her in front of everyone.

They finished the song staring into each other's eyes, then Khopesh claimed her again. Talwar let her go and left the great hall. He wanted to write that letter immediately, while his heart was still beating fast from Khanda's loving words.