"That one," I said and pointed at a tree across the lot. I grabbed James' hand and pulled him toward it. He didn't say a word as I dropped his hand and walked around the tree, examining it. The branches were so symmetrical it almost didn't look real. I took a step back and stared up at the beautiful evergreen. "It's perfect." When James didn't say anything I turned toward him. "Don't you think?"
"If you think it's perfect, then so do I."
I pressed my lips together. "James, I want us to choose a tree together. That's the whole point." I slid my hand back into his.
He smiled. "I want to give you the best Christmas you've ever had. And if you think this tree is perfect, we should get this one." He ran his fingers through my hair.
He always said the right things. But I didn't want him to just say the right things. I wanted him to have the best Christmas ever too. "Well, let's keep looking. Just to make sure it's the right one."
I tucked myself into his side as we started walking around the Christmas tree lot again. The night air was chilly, but I always felt warm when I was beside him. I smiled as he wrapped his arm tighter around me. How many times had I dreamt about this? Getting to love someone at Christmas? It was like all my childhood dreams coming true. All my wishes to Santa.
I let him lead the way this time, taking it all in. This was our first Christmas together. I didn't want to force all of my traditions on him. He said he had grown up with a fake tree. For some reason that made me sad. But maybe that's what he wanted. I was just about to tell him we could go to a department store and buy one when he stopped in front of a tree that was slightly lopsided.
"What about this one?" he asked. "I feel like it could use a good home."
I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. The tree really did need a home. If we didn't take it, I wasn't sure anyone else would. I looked up at him. "I love this one."
"Yeah?"
I nodded. "So much better than that other stupid one."
James stared at me skeptically.
"Really. This one is so us."
He laughed. "I'm not really sure what you mean by that. It's a little crooked, isn't it? I was kinda joking when I said we should get it."
I bumped him with my hip. "It's not crooked. It's perfectly...imperfect."
He smiled. "Hmm. Perfectly imperfect. I like that." He kissed the side of my forehead. "So what next?" He bent down to study the trunk. "Do we take it up to the checkout?"
"As much as I'd like to watch you figure out how to do that, no. We just tell the guy at the front that we want this one. Come on." I grabbed his hand and pulled him through the trees until we found someone to help us.
"You're ridiculously cute," James said as we watched the tree guy give the trunk a fresh cut.
I scrunched my nose up. I knew I should have worn heels. He never said I looked cute when I wore heels. I looked down at my flat boots. This Christmas wasn't supposed to be cute. If anything, it should be sexy. Tons of mistletoe. And roaring fires to snuggle in front of. My traditions seemed childish.
"What's wrong with cute?" he asked, reading the expression on my face.
It was weird that he could do that. Or maybe that wasn't the strange part. Maybe it was just odd that I now had someone in my life that cared about the expression on my face. The thought made me smile. "Nothing's wrong with cute. It's just that I want our new Christmas traditions together to be a little more naughty than nice."
"Then you're wearing a few too many layers."
I laughed and hit his arm as the tree guy finished tying the tree down to the roof. "Just wait until we start decorating." I started walking away from James backwards and gave him an exaggerated wink.
He smiled and caught up to me. "Maybe Santa's granting me my wish a little early."
"If you're wishing for me naked, that's a ridiculous wish. You were going to get that either way."
"It's definitely going to be the best Christmas ever then." He beat me to the door and opened it up for me.
For some reason we always ended up racing to the car. He liked opening up the door for me and I still wasn't used to having someone open the door for me. Dating him was an adjustment. The best kind of adjustment.
"Thank you," I smiled and kissed the tip of his nose before sliding into the passenger's seat.
He quickly climbed into his side and started the ignition.
I pulled my feet up onto the seat and stared at him as he shifted the car into drive.
"What?" he asked with a smile.
"Nothing, it's just that I never really see you drive anymore. Are you sure we need a driver? I mean, the subway..."
"Penny, we've talked about this. You don't have to take the subway."
"I know I don't have to. But I can. Ian has to go out of his way to drop me off. And with the new offices you're setting up, he's going to have to drive you in the morning. I don't want to be a bother."
I turned away from him and looked out at the city streets. I could just make out the huge Rockefeller tree in the distance. It was beautiful. Truly it was the most beautiful part of Christmastime in New York City. I was still holding out on snow being beautiful here too though. I had a feeling a snowfall would be the calmness that this city so drastically needed.
"Penny, you are never a bother." He placed his hand on my knee. "And for the millionth time, it's Ian's job to drive us around. He doesn't mind."
"Technically it's his job to drive you around. Not me."
"Penny, you're my fiancée."
"Your point?"
He laughed. "My point is that what's mine is yours."
It wasn't the first time we'd had this conversation. The problem was that I didn't need everything he was offering. I wasn't used to the extravagantness of his life. Sometimes I craved normalcy. A ride in the subway once a day didn't seem like such a bad thing to me.
He let his hand fall from my knee.
My body instantly felt cold. How could his hands do that? Warm me when I didn't even realize I needed warming? I didn't want to fight with him. "Okay. If you're sure Ian doesn't mind."
The corners of his mouth turned up. "He doesn't mind. Ask him yourself next time you see him. You know, when you stop randomly giving him time off."
"James! It's only a few days till Christmas. He deserved time off tonight. And we didn't need his help getting a tree. It's supposed to be a special thing, just the two of us."
"Well that might be a problem," James said as he pulled into the parking lot beneath our apartment building.
Rob was standing by the elevator examining the slot where you had to insert a keycard.
"I didn't know Rob was coming," I said.
"Well, he mentioned he was coming to town for Christmas. But I didn't know he was coming over tonight."
"Oh. I thought your parents weren't doing anything this year."
"About that." James unbuckled his seatbelt. "Penny..." his voice trailed off as Rob pounded his hand against the window of the passenger's side.
"It's freezing, guys. Let me up." He crossed his arms around himself.
I laughed and stepped out of the car. "Of course you're cold. Where is your coat?" He was only wearing a sweater.
"It's warmer in Delaware. Give me a hug to warm me up, you dirty temptress." He wrapped his arms around me.
I laughed. "It's only a little more than two hours from here, Rob. I doubt it's any warmer there."
"I swear it is." He kissed my cheek. "It's good to see you, Penny."
I smiled up at him. "You too."
"It's good you're here," James said. "Because I have no idea what to do with this." He gestured to the tree.
Rob laughed and pulled James' scarf off and twirled it around his own neck. "Your knight in shining armor is here, my lady," he said and winked at me.
James exhaled loudly. I would never tire of seeing the way that Rob pushed James' buttons.
"Here, catch," Rob said as he pulled a pocket knife from him back pocket and tossed it at James. "The woman and I will go start a fire."
"Oh, no, Rob, take my key. I was going to help him with the tree." My romantic evening was suddenly fluttering away with the wind that was picking up.
"I got it, baby," James said. "Go get him warm before he catches pneumonia." He nodded toward Rob who was still shivering despite the scarf.
"Are you sure?"
"Yup, I've got this." He turned back to the car and started fidgeting with the rope.
I followed Rob over to the elevator. As the doors closed I saw James scratching the scruff on his chin and examining the tree on the roof of his car. I smiled, knowing that he had probably sent me away because he had no idea what he was doing. He still wasn't good at showing me every side of him.
"Thanks for letting me stay with you guys," Rob said.
"Are you staying with us?"
He laughed. "Of course. Where do you expect me to stay? My parents'?" He seemed to shiver worse at that idea.
"No, I guess not." Whenever Rob visited, he always crashed at our place. I loved having him in town, I did. But he didn't really fit into my naughty Christmas. I was hoping to snuggle up to James in front of the fire. Not set Rob in front of it and hope he didn't catch a cold.
"What's bothering you, Penny?"
I laughed. Apparently all the Hunter men could read me now. "Nothing." I stepped off the elevator and unlocked the door to our apartment.
"You're not getting off that easy, sweet cheeks."
I set my keys down on the kitchen counter. What was bothering me? It wasn't that Rob was here. I loved when he visited. I looked around the apartment. There wasn't a single Christmas decoration in place. Growing up, my mom would always decorate the day after Thanksgiving. Our house would resemble a Christmas themed store. And I loved it. I loved the holiday spirit. I loved how it brought us all together.
But James was busy starting his new company. And I had been busy studying for finals. It was three days before Christmas and we had only just gotten a tree. I bit the inside of my lip. This wasn't what I expected. For some reason, I just assumed everything would be the same. But of course it wasn't. I wasn't even living in the same state. For the first time ever, I wasn't going to be with my parents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. I was trying to be good about the changes. But I had never really been great at change. And it was off-putting that it looked like a Grinch lived in our apartment.
"Earth to Penny." Rob waved his hand in front of my face.
I turned toward him. "Does James hate Christmas?"
He laughed. "Hate Christmas? What kind of monster hates Christmas?"
"I don't know, but look around." I gestured to the living room. "I had to drag him out tonight to get a tree. We haven't decorated at all."
"Oh. That. He's just not used to decorating. My parents' staff always did that."
"But he hasn't been living at home for years."
Rob shrugged as he opened up the fridge door and pulled out a beer. "Want one?"
I shook my head as I walked farther into the kitchen. "No, that's okay." I pulled out a pot, poured some milk in it, and turned on the stove. Hot chocolate could fix anything. Maybe it could even trick James into liking Christmas.
Rob popped off the cap of his beer. "I'm a little surprised Ellen didn't decorate for him."
"She offered almost as much as I did. But he was really dismissive about it. He hates Christmas, doesn't he?" It felt like my heart was beating faster as I waited for him to respond.
"He always liked it growing up. I don't know what to tell you."
God. I was over-thinking it. I was over-thinking everything. "But it's not just that, Rob. I know he's getting me the world's greatest gift. And I have no idea what to get him." I grabbed a mug out of the cupboard.
"Head."
I almost dropped the cup, but caught it before it smashed against the granite. "That's not what I'm talking about," I hissed as I gently placed it against the counter.
He smiled. "Well, I'm telling you. He just wants head."
"That's not..." I sighed and leaned against the counter. "That isn't even a gift."
Rob put his hands against his chest. "I knew you were the woman of my dreams. If you're just handing out blowjobs, I'll take one."
I hit his arm. "Stop, Rob. I'm being serious. What do I get him?" I grabbed two more mugs out of the cupboard and pulled out the cocoa mix.
"And I'm being serious. Every guy wants head as a present. Always. It's literally always the answer."
I shook my head. Rob was so freaking unhelpful. "Is there something that he's always wanted?"
"Head."
"Not helping." I pulled the hot milk off the stove and poured it into the cups. I had just started to mix the cocoa in when James stumbled into the apartment with the tree over his shoulder.
The mixture of freshly cut pine and hot chocolate made any sense of our apartment being un-Christmassy evaporate.
Rob put down his beer, lifted up his hot cocoa, and blew on it. He started walking past James, not offering any help with the tree. "Penny wants to know why you hate Christmas, Mr. Grinch." He slapped him on the stomach with his free hand and then collapsed on the couch.
Rob. "I didn't...that wasn't..." my voice trailed off. Because I did. And it was. I cringed.
James set the tree down in the foyer and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't hate Christmas, Penny."
"I know." I rushed over to him with the cups of cocoa. I think I know. I offered him one of the cups, hoping it would distract him. I wanted to sing carols and decorate the Christmas tree. I didn't want to talk about the past. Even if he did hate Christmas, I could make him like it. I knew I could. I just needed time.
He brushed off his hands on his wool coat and grabbed a cup. "I don't hate Christmas," he repeated. The mug effectively disappeared beneath his big hands.
"Look around, man," Rob said from the other room. "Where's all the Christmas garland? And stockings? And strings of lights?"
Not helping, Rob!
James gave me a smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm sorry that I've been so busy, Penny. I know getting Hunter Tech off the ground is taking up a lot of my time, but..."
"James it's okay. All I wanted was the tree. And now we have the tree." I looked down at the beautiful, lopsided tree. "Oh, shit."
"What?" He looked up from his mug.
"I forgot about the tree stand. We can't put it up without a tree stand."
James looked down at his watch. "I'm not sure what stores will still be open. Maybe Ellen has..."
"We're not calling Ellen about this." I loved Ellen. I loved Ian. But I wasn't used to having help. And every time James asked them for something it made me feel like I was letting him down. How had I forgotten about the tree stand?
"The game is on!" Rob shouted from the other room.
"I'll pick one up in the morning, okay?" I said. "And then when you get home tomorrow we can set it up. Just the two of us."
"That sounds perfect."
We walked together into the living room and joined Rob on the couch. He had already kicked off his shoes and made himself at home.
"Everyone's already talking about New York's hottest couple heating up the freezing cold city." Rob flashed us a picture on his phone from a tabloid.
It was of me standing on my tiptoes, kissing James on the nose. The tree was on the roof of our car. It was actually a really great photo. The only thing wrong with it was the caption under the picture: "Professor James Hunter and student caught fraternizing once again." I nuzzled into James' side. I was just going to pretend that the headline Rob made up was what it had really said. I never thought I'd get used to the tabloids. But maybe I finally was. Although, it was so unnerving that I hadn't even seen the paparazzi.
"Do you get alerts about us or something?" James asked.
"Of course," Rob said. "How do you expect me to keep up to date with you two when I live in boring old Delaware where nothing happens?"
"You could move back."
"Yeah. I guess I could."
I smiled to myself as I listened to their exchange. One day, I knew Rob would move back to New York. When he was ready to have some roots. But I couldn't imagine it being any time soon. Until then, I enjoyed his unexpected visits.
I took a sip of my hot chocolate and rested my head on James' shoulder. We didn't need a Christmas tree or any fancy decorations. I was perfectly content just being next to him.