The pungent aroma of coffee burst into her torrid sexual dream where she and Bennett were engaging in many sexual pleasures. She loved coffee, but the fact it was interrupting her sexual fantasy…that pissed her off.
She dragged open her eyes only to squeeze them shut again as her room began spinning like a tilt-a-whirl. Couldn’t be like a normal merry-go-round, no, not for her. It had to be the up and down plus spinning.
“Oh God,” she moaned, willing her stomach not to rebel and hurl the who-the-fuck-knew-what contents in her stomach up and out. If it happened, she’d probably die in her own vomit since she had no energy to go anywhere.
That begged the question, why did she smell coffee? Who was in her place?
“I hope to God I didn’t do anything embarrassing last night.”
She gathered her waning strength and pushed up on all fours. Hell, even that was a feat unto itself. Her head hung low and she prayed she didn’t list left or right, although it felt as if she were. Which direction she wasn’t sure, but she sure as hell didn’t feel square and straight. The room continued to spin and she gulped hard then bit the inside of her cheek.
The metallic tang didn’t soothe her stomach. In fact, it churned it more.
“Come on, Smash. Let me help you.”
Either she remained drunk and dreaming of Bennett or he was here in her place witnessing her in all this hangover glory.
The way my luck runs, this isn’t a dream.
“Go away,” she bemoaned, not moving.
Her lack of movement wasn’t because she didn’t need to get up and pee, but because she wasn’t sure she could walk when the world was spinning like a ball on a pool table. The scent of coffee didn’t move nor did the eyes that bore into her, making her skin prickle. In a pleasant way.
“You’re still here, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. Open up those baby blues and look at me, Smash.”
“Why are you calling me that and why the crap are you yelling at me?”
A deep chuckle that didn’t help her head any. Or her desire, which made her even more upset when she realized the thought of rocking on his dick made her stomach churn.
“I’m not yelling at you, you’re just suffering from your hangover.”
“No shit, Sherlock, talk quieter. Thank God I don’t have to work today.” She clasped her head in her hands. “Go away so I can suffer in my own private misery.”
“Nope. I brought you coffee.”
“You’re still talking. And so loudly, too.”
She wanted to sink beneath the blanket and sleep until the pounding in her head went from a big drum to the gentle triangle pinging. That much she could handle.
The mattress dipped as he joined her and this time she not only could smell the drink but feel the heat from the steam wafting up under her nose. Groaning in defeat, she cracked open her eyes, focusing on the dark liquid in the offered mug.
It still spun but not as fast. She allowed the aroma to flow around her and she moved her attention from the moving liquid to the hand of the man holding the mug. Strong thick fingers, clean square nails. She loved his hands, even the small crisscrossing of scars he had on the backs of them, barely discernable from the covering of dark hair. Not that he had tons of hair on his hand, but the scars were very faint. She just liked his hands. They were full of promising strength and protection.
She took the drink from him and tried a small sip, just to make sure that her stomach wouldn’t rebel and she’d embarrass herself further by hurling all over him. The drink was perfect, just how she typically drank it. Little cream and a lot of sugar.
“Thank you,” she managed to croak out after taking a few more sips. Each one bigger than the last.
“Wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“You have no idea. What the hell was I thinking drinking all that much last night?”
“I’m guessing it comes with the territory. Bachelorette parties have been known to get rowdy.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so? Been to many, have you? The stripper? Jumping out of a cake?”
“If I was a stripper, would you stuff my G-string?”
Her bark of laughter had her wincing as her head pounded, reminding her that wasn’t such a great idea. “I’m positive your G-string is stuffed enough. You don’t need any help from me in that area.”
“Glad you noticed. Come on, up you get.”
“I want to go back to bed.”
“No can do, have plans for the day.” He gripped her elbow and helped her up.
She pouted, curling her fingers tighter around the mug as if it would magically remove this damn hangover. “We do?”
“Yes. I need you showered and dressed so we’re not late.”
She whimpered when he plucked the coffee out of her hand. “It will be in a to-go mug. Shower.” His eyes darkened. “Unless you’d like me to help with that.”
Well, yeah, she would, but at the thought of sex that would make the headboard move she figured she’d just get sick all over again.
“Rain check.”
She didn’t catch his muttered response as she shuffled her way to the bathroom. Somehow, right now, she figured this was how Methuselah would feel and move if he were here. About as spry as dry kindling and as fast as tar.
Soon she stood under the hot spray and groaned as she balanced herself with one hand on the wall. For the life of her she couldn’t recall when she ran into him last night. He hadn’t been at the party, that much she knew. But when had he come to her place? And if he had been there all night, why was she in clothing and not naked as she’d woken up the other night he’d stayed over?
So many questions and too much for her struggling thought process at the moment. She soaped up and washed her hair. As she rinsed, she thought about the plans they had.
I don’t recall making any plans for today. I think I may very well have drunk away my memories.
Some of them, at least. She had no problem remembering that man in her bed. In her. With a firm shake of her head—which led to another round of nausea—she shut off the water. She wasn’t about to masturbate in there while he was outside the door waiting for her.
Rubbing down with a towel, she took her time dressing and left the bathroom. Sure enough, Bennett stood there, waiting, his gaze overflowing with hunger.
“What took you so long?”
“Was debating if I had time before I got out of the shower to masturbate.”
Apparently, it wasn’t just her memory that had lapses. Her filter must still be out drinking to let that one slip by.
Mortified, she squeezed her eyes shut and prayed he would be gone when she opened them. No such luck. And he wasn’t even across the room anymore. No, he was right in front of her, toes of his boots touching her bare ones.
Slowly she gazed up at him, dragging her attention over the scruffy jawline, the thick eyelashes, and those damn gorgeous eyes that burned her with their intensity.
“And what did you decide?”
His voice was nothing more than a rasp, and she had a hard time deciphering the words.
She’d already let it slip, no sense in pretending she hadn’t. He didn’t ignore the vibrator on her bed, chances were he wasn’t going to ignore this.
“I wasn’t doing it while you were out here.”
He blazed a trail from her eyes to her lips and back again. “For the record, there’s always time for you to masturbate. And if you want my help, all you have to do is ask.”
The devil rode her hard and it took so much for her to keep that request from escaping. She swallowed. “You said we had plans.”
αβ
Bennett watched the woman beside him as she gazed over the view while hiking in the Koolau Mountains. The sun gleamed off the blonde streaks in her hair. The longer he watched, the deeper he fell. She was a woman he could see spending the rest of his life with. Easily.
He wanted to share this with her and was glad that she’d not backed down, not even with her hangover. He knew it still bothered her, but she was with him, not complaining.
And his mind continually drifted back to her comment about debating if she had time to masturbate. Christ, she was keeping him aroused all the time.
He loved the awe in her expression as she looked up at the view. He followed her stare. The vibrant greens sliced by the numerous waterfalls streaming down. The mist above that hiding some of the peaks.
“I’ve lived here nearly five years now,” she said, not taking her attention from the view. “And I still see new wondrous things. Thank you for this. For bringing me here.”
“I’m glad you came with.” He stepped closer to her and draped his arm around her shoulder, squeezing lightly.
“Do you ever sit there and wonder how you got so lucky to be here? On this island?” She rested her head against his shoulder. “I mean, like why did you pick this island over the other ones? They’re all spectacular. How did you settle on Oahu?”
Capturing her hand, he led her along the barely there trail. “I grew up on this island. My mother still lives here. As do my uncles.” He gave a short bark of laughter. “All five of them.”
“Big family.”
She stopped to smell a flower. He thought she may try to pick it, but she didn’t, just gave it a sniff and continued on.
“You said the other night that you had been thinking about your father. And that you’d never met him. How did he die?”
“He was in the Navy as well. According to my mother, they’d just gotten married when he was deployed. She found out she was pregnant and he was looking forward to coming home and meeting me but he never did.”
His chest tightened and he ignored the urge to rub it.
“I was raised by my mom and uncles and joined the Navy at eighteen. Went into the SEALs until I was injured and couldn’t serve any longer.” More bitterness. “I was having a hard time settling back into civilian life and Mom said I should come home. So, I did. Been here ever since. And this island…I can’t see myself living on the others. I happily visit them but this one is my home. The others feel, I don’t know, different to me.”
“I’m sorry for everything. Losing your father and not being able to serve your country any longer.”
They paused by the base of a smaller waterfall and she crouched, tugging free of his hand to dip her fingers in the rushing water.
“Like I said, hard to miss what you don’t know.”
She hopped out onto the first rock and continued from rock to rock until she got to the other side. Ellie faced him, hands on her hips.
“I lost my father too, Bennett. And I will respectfully disagree with you. I know it’s a personal feeling on how it affects you, but to me, seeing the other children with their parents and not having them, it was hard.”
He traversed the rocks and landed with ease beside her. “You said parents, not father.”
“Speaking in a general sense.”
“Ellie?”
“I had my mom growing up. And I had Piper’s parents. But it wasn’t the same. I was always the girl with no father.” She gave an easy shrug. “It was hard and I missed having one, even though I never knew what it was like.”
He saw it from her point of view. Tipping up her face, he brushed their lips together. “I’m sorry you’ve lost your parents. Who’s Piper?”
“Thank you, and she’s my best friend in the whole world. Been trying to get her to come see me here but she won’t leave Kansas. I mean, look at this place. How can you refuse to leave a flat nothing and never come to see this beauty?”
“Perhaps she doesn’t like to fly.”
She shook her head. “No, she won’t leave her shop. She’s a control freak and doesn’t want to risk anything happening with her not being able to get there in five minutes to fix it. She’s like a female version of Dogfish, only nicer and cuter.”
He laughed. “Does she know about Dogfish and that you are comparing the two?”
“Nope and she won’t find out either.”
He dipped his head in closer to hers. “Is that a threat?”
“Promise.” She pushed him back and carried on. “Tell me what injury you sustained to keep you out of the Navy?”
A cold chill skated up his spine, but he bit back his instinctive no. He wanted to share with her. How could he justify moving forward with a relationship if he wasn’t willing to talk about this?
He found a rock and sank to the cool surface, allowing his boots to trail in the water. It wasn’t that high and he didn’t really care if his boots were wet, they were prepped for being in water. Ellie joined him but he didn’t look in her direction, merely picked a spot off in the distance and fixed on it.
“We were in a hostile environment to exfil…well, anyway. It wasn’t a safe place. We’d gotten our package and were humping it to our exfil point when we stumbled onto an ambush, led to it by the guide we’d been using for months.”
She gasped and took his hand in hers.
“During the firefight, I took a few slugs to the chest. Two in my lung and one that lodged right next to my heart. They had to take part of one lung to save my life. And while I’m fine for normal activity there’s no way I could ever be a SEAL again. So, they medically retired me.”
“Those are the scars.”
“Yes. An ugly reminder that I’m no longer a full man.”
“Bullshit.”
He angled his head to look at her. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me fine. Just because you can’t serve any longer doesn’t mean you’re less than a man. Whoever got that thought in your head is a fool. What about those who’ve lost limbs, are you saying they are less than they were because they are missing a limb?”
“No. I’m not saying that. I’m saying that for me this has ended my career. You don’t get it, you wouldn’t understand.”
“I understand better than you think I do. I’m just not buying into your pity party like others around you are doing. You’re a fully functioning male. And I do mean fully. You’re the one holding yourself back from doing what you want. I get it, you can’t serve anymore and that sucks big pink monkey balls. But that doesn’t mean your life is over, does it? Is that all you were? A SEAL? Weren’t you your own man? Capable of thinking for himself and putting together a life outside the military?”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “You need to stop.”
“No, I don’t think I do. I think you need to hear this. Because, like I said, I’m not one of those who will accept this pity you have for yourself. You wouldn’t have been able to be a SEAL your whole life, so what would you do when that day came?”
“It wouldn’t have come for a good number of years, so I don’t know.”
“Surely there was some thought in the back of your mind. For God’s sake, Bennett, you were a SEAL. You can’t expect me to believe that you never thought you’d ever get injured.”
“Let it go, Ellie.”
“No.”
He slid off the rock and walked off. She appeared directly in front of him. “Answer my question.”
“No, I didn’t give it any thought because I didn’t think I’d get injured like this. I thought I’d either come home alive or in a body bag.”
“And you came home alive,” she shouted at him. “Live your life.”
“What do you know, haole? You’ve never served a day in your life.”
Pain flashed in her eyes but she didn’t back away. “We all have some kind of sentence we serve, just not everyone had a choice.” She looked beyond him. “I’ll be back at the truck whenever you decide to come back.”
Ellie walked away, not once glancing to see if he followed. Bennett cursed himself even as he trailed her, just to make sure she didn’t run into any danger. By the time they reached his truck, he was beside her but she wasn’t speaking to him. In fact, she acted as if she were completely alone, for which he didn’t blame her for. He’d been as ass about it all.
I wasn’t as ready as I’d hoped I would be to discuss this. And I sure as hell wasn’t ready to hear her tell me what no one else has been brave enough to do.
All the way back to her place, he tried to find the right words to say to her, but his mind was blank. She was out of the truck and heading up to her apartment even before he came to a complete stop and had killed the engine.
Grinding his back teeth, he parked and hastened up after her. He reached her just as she stepped into her apartment and shut the door directly in his face. Message received, loud and clear. This was the end of their day together.