Ronnie and Gen danced at the edge of the yard as the sun went down. Ronnie looked up toward the rusty trailer, and there were Stan and Mo sitting by the firepit, brooding like teenagers.
She couldn’t understand how they could still be so doom and gloom. She frowned to herself. She actually could understand, but there were drinks, a fire, a path to the beach, and two lovely ladies in their presence.
And people trying to kill them, so yeah …
“What’s with the frowny face?” Gen asked.
Ronnie stopped to hug herself. The rain had brought cooler temperatures, and she wasn’t wearing her mask. The sensitive skin on her cheeks felt cold enough to be numb. She tipped her head toward the men and their sour faces. “Them.”
Gen glanced up and then rolled her eyes. “It’s been a tough day for them. Poor little guys been out protecting the women. Making all the decisions for us so we can stay home and hang the laundry.”
She pointed to the shirts hanging on the frayed line. Fluttering in the breeze. Then she clasped her hands in front of her and batted her eyes.
She bent to grab her drink from the grass. She’d called it a Hairy Frog. Mountain Dew Baja Blast mixed with Kraken Rum. Ronnie had to admit it was pretty tasty, even though it looked like runny shit.
Gen tipped her head back until the remaining ice tinked off her teeth. She pointed at Stan. “You know, if I hadn’t been there when he plowed into the Charger in Wildwood, there would have been nobody there to carry him back to the car.”
She swayed as she spread her hands. “I picked him up off the ground. Held him like a baby. Put him in the passenger seat. Tucked him in with a kiss on his forehead.”
She giggled. Shook her head as her face became stern. “Seriously though. I don’t want him patting me on the back every ten minutes, but a little consideration would go a long way. He never even thanked me.”
Ronnie pointed to the empty drink. “Are you drunk?”
Gen nodded. “I hope so.”
“Then maybe it shouldn't be you that talks to him.”
Gen straightened and looked at Ronnie through narrowed eyes. “You think he’ll listen to you instead?”
Ronnie started to defend him. Thought better as she shook her head. “No. Not really.”
Gen shrugged. “I just want to be seen. As important. As part of the fucking thing instead of … I have this same conversation with Moses what feels like every. Single. Day.
Ronnie turned to face the ocean. “We could all die, you know.”
“Of course I know. And I’m strangely okay with it. Just as long as …”
Ronnie looked over when she trailed off. Watched her wipe the tears from her eyes and shake her head. “As long as we’re together when it happens,” Ronnie finished for her.
Gen nodded. Looked into her empty glass. Forced a smile. “I’m gonna make another one. Pull Mo off his ass and put all this caffeine to good use. You want one?”
Ronnie made herself smile in return. “I think that’s a good idea.”
Gen took their glasses and pranced up toward the cooler, a makeshift bar they had set up on the edge of a rusty grill.
Mo looked up, and Ronnie’s smile became a grin when she saw him watching Gen bend over to get ice. If she only knew how he looked at her. How his love was evident in his eyes. Her own poor self-image kept her from recognizing it.
Then she wondered what she wasn’t seeing in Stan’s eyes.
She walked into the heavy silence hanging between the two men. Ran her hand along Stan’s shoulders. “Hey, big boy.”
He smiled as he looked up at her. “Hey, lady.”
Gen came over on her tiptoes. Pressed the fresh drink into her hand. It smelled way heavier on the rum than the Dew. “Drink up,” she sang, before skipping over to Mo and dropping straight into his lap.
He grunted. Fell over backward, dragging Gen with him, and she cackled laughter with her drink over her head. Not a drop spilled. “I saved it!”
Mo groaned beneath her, but the sound soon became laughter.
Stan’s smile seemed absent-minded. Empty. Like somebody who didn’t get the joke but was laughing because everybody else was. Ronnie pointed to the beer in his hand. “Is that full?”
He nodded. “Full enough.”
“Then walk with me.”
“Okay.”
He stood up and dropped his arm across her shoulders. They turned toward the beach, and Gen laughed again. Followed by Mo’s voice in a low rumble. Words Ronnie couldn’t hear.
She took a drink of her Hairy Frog. Blew out a silent whistle in appreciation for its strength. “Where are we going?”
Stan chuckled. “I don’t know. You’re the one wanted to walk.”
“No, I mean where are we going? When this is all over, where will we be?”
She felt him shrug. “I don’t really know.”
“Will they find us?”
“Maybe.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
He squeezed her against him. “I just found you again. You think I’m gonna let you go?”
The beach was mostly rocks. Smooth and gritty. Not exactly unpleasant to walk on, but there was an incongruity to it. Her feet expected something, but got something else.
The first step from grass to stone was always jarring. Like taking a drink of a soda you think is Pepsi, but it turns out to be Coke.
“What if we don’t get through it?”
His laugh sounded bitter. “Then we won’t have to worry about it, will we?”
“No, I mean … what if we walked away? What would it look like then?”
They made it to the water before he answered. “It’s too late to give up now. If I walked away … It would be better to be dead than live with that. How could I forgive myself? How could you forgive me?”
“I couldn’t.”
He threw his hand out, and beer sloshed out of his bottle. “Then you have your answer.”
She turned to face him. “Then what makes you think I could live with it?”
He shook his head, and his face twisted in confusion. “What does that even mean?”
She spread her hands. “Am I not a part of this? Is this not the hundredth time we’ve had this discussion? I need you to see this through, Stan. But whether you like it or not, I’m with you.”
He looked out to sea. “I know you’re with me.”
“No matter what.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“Then act like it.”
“How do I not? Everything I do, I ask myself how it will affect you. How I can keep you safe.”
“But that’s the problem.”
“That I don’t want you to get hurt?” he shouted.
She put her hand on his chest. “No, babe. Because you’re only asking yourself. Since you know I’m here, ask me too. That’s all we really want. Equal share. To be a part of it because we are a part of it.”
He shook his head as he sighed. “I’m sorry, babe. I just … I don’t know if I can do it and keep you safe. Maybe walking away should be on the table.”
She leaned against him. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
“I know,” he whispered.
“There’s one more thing.”
He growled. “Here we go.”
“Have you thanked Gen?”
“For what?”
“Maybe saving your life?”
He pushed away. “She didn’t … I mean she helped, yeah.”
“Did you?”
“Did I what?” he said, but he looked over her head.
“Did you thank her?”
“Of course.”
“Did you really, Stan?”
“I mean … she knows.”
She stared at him. He scratched his head. Opened his mouth. Closed it again. Hung his head in shame. “No, I didn’t.”
“Oh, Stan,” she said. “We’re not decorations or trophies.”
“I know that.”
She took another drink only to realize it was down to the watery part at the bottom. She sighed in disappointment. She didn’t remember drinking it all. “Could a decoration pick you up and carry you to safety?”
“Probably not.”
“More like what a strong, capable woman could do, right?”
“Okay, okay,” he said, holding his hands up in defeat. “I see your point.”
“Good. ‘Cuz this is your last chance,” she said as she pressed up against him.
“Or else what?”
“Or you’ll be dancing alone from now on.”
As soon as she said it, she realized she had spoken his fear out loud.
He whispered something into her hair she couldn’t hear. Hugged her and started to sway. Small circles in the surf, and they danced. If it was all they ever did, it would be enough.