The next morning I wake early, get up and go for a run. My step feels lighter. My mind is bright and alert. The sky is so vivid, the sun so bright. I run past Callum’s street and wonder what he’s doing. Now that we’ve been apart for a bit I feel a little coy about the whole thing. We’ve been friends forever. I’d hate for that to change. The thought of last night brings an excited little giggle from deep inside me. He makes me ache. I want to see him right now. He’s probably still in bed. I want to touch his warm, sleepy skin, and kiss him again.
I have homework and am sitting down to do it by ten. My mind wanders. I check my phone. Sierra hasn’t shown her face. I wouldn’t have thought she’d leave me hanging this long. Callum’s concern swirls inside me but settles. I’ll bet she knows I’m furious and she wants to wait for me to calm down before calling. Then she’ll have some elaborate story ready about why she didn’t show and why she couldn’t ring. It won’t be her fault. Nothing ever is.
Still, I try her phone for the thousandth time. Straight to voicemail.
Next I try Riley. She answers straightaway.
‘Hi.’
‘Hey.’
‘Any news?’
I have so much news, but I decide not to tell her about Callum yet. I need to see him again to see what’s going to happen. Suddenly I feel all nervous and shy again. What if Callum regrets it? What if he did come over to see Sierra yesterday, but for whatever random reason decided to get with me anyway?
‘Nope. You?’
‘Nope. She’s not going to call me, though, is she?’
‘Callum’s kind of worried –’
‘Yeah, but he’s got the hots for her so of course he’s going to think his precious Sierra would never run off with a guy and screw over her friends in the process.’
My stomach turns and heaviness settles in my chest. Even Riley can see Callum likes Sierra. I shouldn’t have let anything happen. I’m so stupid. Of course he only hooked up with me because I was there and Sierra wasn’t. I’m shocked at how much I want to be with him, how much I want him to want me.
‘Hmm,’ I say, pulling myself back to the conversation. ‘I guess I’m starting to get a bit worried –’
‘Well, she’s got you wrapped around her little finger, too. You always defend her; you always believe everything she says. God knows why – she’s gotten you into trouble that many times it’s not funny and you always let her get away with it. Seriously, Tay, you need to stop.’
We hang up after a bit. I feel flat. I turn away from my desk and move to the bed. I crawl under the covers, lie on my side, face the window and peer out at the dark clouds moving in. I think it’s going to rain. I pull a pillow to my chest and hug it.
My phone rings. I spring out of bed and grab it from my desk. It’s Callum. Butterflies start to flutter and I stall before answering.
‘Hello?’
‘Tay, how’s it goin’?’ His tone is intimate and suggestive. Excitement hits me deep inside. Callum likes me.
I’m not so smooth. I stammer and stutter before I get a grip. We both laugh.
‘Sorry. I’m suddenly nervous around you.’ My face is hot. I can’t believe I said that. I sound about ten years old.
‘Can I come over?’
‘Yes.’ I’m trying to sound sexy but it comes out like I need to cough. Another hot flush hits my face. I’m glad he can’t see me.
‘Give me ten.’
Ten minutes. I fly out of bed, tie up my hair and dive into the shower. I wash in record speed and then try to find something hot to wear. I try a few things before settling for a short denim skirt and a long-sleeved t-shirt. My boobs look so massive it’s embarrassing, so I throw a white shirt over the top and leave it unbuttoned. I untie my hair, but it’s a mess and too big a job to do in five minutes. I tie it back up and leave it. I’ve just finished using concealer to cover a couple of spots on my chin when Mum calls me from downstairs.
‘Taylor! Callum’s here.’
I give myself the once-over in the full-length mirror, take a deep breath, and walk downstairs. Callum’s sitting at the kitchen bench drinking pineapple juice. Mum’s chatting to him about his soccer game yesterday. When their conversation dies down she leaves, making sure I see her smirk and her raised eyebrows. That damned blushing gene does its thing again, triggering further embarrassment.
I grab myself a glass, pour myself some juice and go to slide into the seat beside him. He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close. He kisses me, long and passionately. I can’t believe how forward he’s being. I fall into it. I love his confidence. We break apart, but remain close.
‘Have you heard from Sierra?’ he asks.
Disappointment falls heavy through my shoulders. Riley’s words crash through my brain and my anger at Sierra flares up again.
I shake my head.
‘You’re going to have to say something. It’s been too long.’
‘She’s done it before, though. I told you – she did it that time with Matt –’
‘She snuck off for one night. Riley should let it go.’
‘Riley could have been in big trouble over that.’
‘But she wasn’t, was she? Riley’s just jealous of her, so she looks for things to criticise. She’s always putting Sierra down. She’s always been like that.’
‘What if I call her mum, tell her the truth, and then Sierra shows up? We’ll all be in trouble for nothing.’
He shakes his head. ‘Something’s wrong.’
‘How can you be sure?’
‘Nothing about this makes sense. Even her staying the night. Don’t you think it was a bit sudden?’
‘You’ve certainly been putting some thought to it.’ I bite at the inside of my mouth.
‘Yeah, of course. I think something’s wrong.’
‘And what if it’s not? What if –’
He cuts me off. ‘What if she’s been kidnapped and you’ve kept it secret and given some psycho two days to run?’
‘You know what? This was a bad idea. You and me should never have happened. You’re obviously still keen on Sierra.’ I can’t believe I said it, but now I have to run with it.
‘What? What are you talking about? I’ve never liked Sierra – not like that.’
‘That’s even worse. Why would you kiss her? Be honest with yourself. If Sierra hadn’t run off with Jacob, you’d still be chasing her.’
‘I didn’t kiss Sierra.’
Oh god. I can’t tell if he’s lying, but I can’t back down now I’ve said it.
He continues. ‘Taylor, if you believe those ridiculous rumours then you’re right. This was a bad idea.’ He holds my gaze but I stare him down, fold my arms across my chest and hope he can’t see the hurt. He shakes his head. ‘I didn’t think you were like that.’
He turns away and leaves without saying goodbye.
I didn’t think you were like that … What does that mean? Jealous and bitchy like Riley is sometimes? That’s how I feel. I turn and almost walk into Mum.
I startle. How much did she hear?
‘Where’s Callum gone off to?’
‘He had to go. I’ll see him tomorrow.’
Dark thoughts swirl in my mind as I walk to my bedroom. He’s right. I am jealous of Sierra. I’d die to look like her, be like her, sing, travel and ski like her. I wanted Jacob to like me. I wanted to be the one meeting him in the city. I accused Callum of being hung up on Sierra, but it’s me who’s hung up on her. I hate where my thoughts are taking me.
The phone rings. I answer without thinking.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi, Taylor, how are you?’ It’s Rachel. She’s caught me off guard.
‘Ah, good thanks.’
‘I’m about to step out, I just wanted to speak to Sierra before I go.’
‘Um, Sierra? She’s not here,’ I say.
‘What? What do you mean she’s not there? Isn’t she staying with you this weekend?’
‘No. I haven’t seen her since school on Friday.’
‘Did she mention anything about where she might have gone?’
‘We all went to Riley’s place for pizza. She didn’t come,’ I say.
‘Did you see her leave school with anyone?’
‘No. I left with Riley, Joel and Callum.’
‘She must have said something about what she was doing.’
‘No. Nothing. I thought she was going home.’
‘Damn it,’ she says to herself. ‘Thank you, Taylor.’ There’s a shake to her voice. ‘Wait until I catch up with her.’
As I hang up the phone, a heavy cloud settles over me. Lying to Rachel brings instant clarity to how much trouble I’m in. I didn’t go with Sierra on Friday night. I didn’t tell Rachel when she didn’t return. I still haven’t told Rachel she’s missing. But these aren’t my most troubling thoughts. What if something has happened to Sierra?
Callum is right. If Sierra could be back, she would be. She wouldn’t leave it this long. I know she pulled an all-night stunt that other time with Matt, but she was back the next day. This is too long. Sierra should definitely be back by now.