I AM HELPING TWO GOLFERS GET STARTED. THEY ARE LOOKING TO SET GOALS, BUT I COULDN’T answER THEIR QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HANDICAPS OF THE GENERAL GOLFING POPULATION. DO YOU HAVE SOME DATA?
— Graham Marcott, Fairway, Kansas
A Only 21 percent of golfers have a real handicap; the average is 15 for men, 28 for women. For Americans, the average score is 95 for men and 106 for women. Eight percent shoot in the 70s, 20 percent in the 80s, 31 percent in the 90s, and 41 percent don’t break 100. Seventy-eight percent of Americans believe in angels, and 98 percent believe they can hit a 7-iron 150 yards.
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Q
I RECENTLY PLAYED IN A CHARITY TOURNAMENT. MORE OR LESS AS USUAL, EACH PLAYER RECEIVED TWO MULLIGANS, AND PUTTS WERE TO BE CONCEDED AS GIMMES WITHIN THE PUTTER GRIP. THESE LAX RULES LET ME SHOOT 77, VERY GOOD FOR AN 11-HANDICAPPER. WE WERE TOLD THAT UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES THESE SCORES WERE NOT POSTABLE FOR HANDICAP PURPOSES. WE HAVE SINCE BEEN CHASTISED BY OUR CLUB HANDICAP COMMITTEE FOR NOT POSTING OUR SCORES — THE SCORES WERE POSTED FOR US AND, IN DOING SO, DROPPED MY HANDICAP BY A STROKE. I THINK THEY ARE DEAD WRONG. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
— Ted Duncan, Vancouver, British Columbia
ASo let me get this straight: You want to take mulligans and conceded putts so that you can do well in a tournament, but at the same time not have your handicap be affected? That, my friend, sounds like having your cake, eating it too, then sneaking out of the restaurant without paying the bill.
A tournament that allows such “rules” isn’t a tournament at all. But leaving that aside, if most holes were played in accordance with the rules, your scores must be posted. However, in Canada as well as the United States, these adjustments need to be made: On holes where putts were given, the U.S. Golf Association says to put down “the most likely score.” On holes where mulligans were taken, put down “par plus any handicap strokes” you are entitled to receive on the hole. (The latter also applies if you were unable to complete holes on account of, say, darkness, coronary failure, or stampeding herds of caribou.)
Forget mulligans, gimmes, preferred lies, and other false entitlements. Here’s a novel idea for these times: Play by the rules and count every stroke.
Guru update: Some people, such as Ted Greene of Orlando, Florida, and Ross McBride of DeSoto, Texas, chose to interpret my answer as an attack on charity events. They wrote to point out that charity tournaments often have their own quirky rules designed to raise as much money as possible, such as offering mulligans for sale, and that they are supposed to be fun, not serious competition. The Golf Guru is all for fund-raising for worthy causes. I have played in plenty of charity scrambles, and I have purchased my fair share of $10 mulligans. There is nothing wrong with these things, but they are not real golf. It’s not essential to mess with the rules to make golf more fun than it already is.
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Q
I AM THE CHAIR OF OUR GOLF LEAGUE. AT THE END OF THE SEASON, WE PRESENT AN AWARD TO THE MOST IMPROVED GOLFER SINCE THE LAST SEASON. DO YOU HAVE A FORMULA FOR CALCULATING THE MOST IMPROVED USING THE CURRENT AND LAST SEASON’S HANDICAPS?
— Gene Bednarski, Westchester, Illinois
AImprovement is its own reward. But if you want to make it official, there are several ways to run the numbers. One approach is to express each golfer’s improvement in percentages — subtract the new handicap from the old handicap, divide the result by the old handicap, then multiply the whole thing by 100. (An 18.5 handicapper who gets down to 14.8 has thus improved by 20 percent.) Simpler is to honor the golfer who has reduced his or her handicap by the most strokes from one year ago. The first method favors better players (it’s easier for a 2-handicap player to see a 50 percent improvement than a 24-handicapper); the second method favors less-accomplished players. So use the second method. Beginners need encouragement.
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Q
THERE IS A PUBLIC COURSE IN HONG KONG. THE THIRD HOLE IS A PAR 4 FOR MEN BUT A PAR 5 FOR WOMEN. IT IS A STROKE HOLE FOR MY WIFE. THAT, UNFORTUNATELY, IS THE SOURCE OF MANY ARGUMENTS. IF, SAY, I HAVE A 4 AND MY WIFE HAS A 6, IS IT A TIE OR HAVE I WON THE HOLE?
— Ronny Tong, Hong Kong
A It’s great that the handicap system allows people to play on a level playing field. (The un-level playing field was put to the test in 2003 when Annika Sorenstam played in a PGA Tour event. She missed the cut, but the Golf Guru was rooting hard for her.) In this case, par is irrelevant: 4 beats a net 5.
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Q
ARE THERE ANY RULES IN GOLF REGARDING HANDICAPPING OR PACE OF PLAY THAT LIMIT A PLAYER TO THE NUMBER OF STROKES HE SHOULD TAKE ON ANY GIVEN HOLE? FOR EXAMPLE, SHOULD A HIGH-HANDICAPPER JUST PICK UP AFTER A 10 ON A PAR 4 AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT HOLE, OR SHOULD HE CONTINUE ON AND RECORD THE 12?
— John Pira, Highlands Ranch, Colorado
A Pick it up. Please, pick it up.
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SWITCH-HITTERS IN BASEBALL HAVE TWO BATTING AVERAGES, ONE FOR EACH SIDE OF THE PLATE. COULD A GOLFER WHO CAN PLAY LEFTY AND RIGHTY MAINTAIN TWO HANDICAPS, ONE FOR EACH SIDE?
— Larry Thee, Greensboro, North Carolina
A No, you can’t have a left-handed handicap and a right-handed handicap. The best-ever ambidextrous golfer is Mac O’Grady, a brilliant eccentric who is nearly a scratch golfer as a lefty and won twice on the PGA Tour playing righty. He once entered a two-man team event, proposing that he would be both men, one left-handed and one right-handed. The application, sadly, was turned down.
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Q
WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF A 16-HANDICAPPER SHOOTING A 71 ON A PAR-70 COURSE? I DID THIS A FEW WEEKS AGO AND NO ONE IN MY CLUB BELIEVES ME EXCEPT THE THREE OTHERS I PLAYED WITH THAT DAY.
— Robert (Chico) Bruno, Bronxville, New York
A Did you play all the holes? You know how to count past five, right? Golf Digest’s numbers guy, Dean Knuth, who used to run handicapping for the U.S. Golf Association, says the odds of shooting such a score are about 8 million to 1. The chance of it happening once in your lifetime is roughly 10,000 to 1. By comparison, you’re about as likely to accidentally drown in the bathtub, twice as likely to die in a plane crash, and 44 times more likely to be killed in a car crash. So congratulations — and consider yourself lucky.
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WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF WOMEN BEATING MEN AT SCRATCH? IN OUR BATTLE-OF-THE-SEXES EVENT, NO HANDICAPS WERE ALLOWED. WE LOST, 31 POINTS TO 8. WAS THIS A FAIR TOURNAMENT?
— Nancy Maxson, Ocala, Florida
A Sharp-eyed observers will have noticed that, anatomy aside, men and women are different. There are huge variations within each gender, of course, but women tend to grow up quicker than men and live longer. They hardly ever start wars. Women are eight times less likely to commit homicide, three to four times less likely to commit suicide, and almost twice as likely to be vegetarians. Women are far more likely to laugh politely at my jokes. It’s a fact, too, that men on average are taller and stronger than women, and thus more likely to be favored in a physical endeavor such as golf. So it seems that the “battle of the sexes” you describe was rather unchivalrous, won by the men on the first tee before a ball was struck. Their “victory” is indeed a hollow one. It’s too bad they did not adopt a more enlightened approach and use golf’s excellent handicap system to make it a fair contest. Too bad they weren’t forced to by their opponents.
Of course, sometimes men and women do compete off scratch. The Golf Guru loves to see the likes of Annika Sorenstam and Michelle Wie taking a crack at the PGA Tour. There are inevitably a few cave-dwelling types who complain about this. “If that’s allowed,” they bleat, “then men should be allowed to play in women’s events.” But the latter, of course, would be singularly pointless and uninteresting to watch, as would allowing pros to play in the U.S. Amateur just because the best amateurs sometimes get to play in pro events.
The battle of the sexes will never be won. Whether you’re from Mars, Venus, or Topeka, it’s better to celebrate la différence, not fight it.
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Q
I REMEMBER READING ABOUT HOW HANDICAPS ARE CALCULATED AT AUGUSTA NATIONAL FOR THE MEMBERS, BUT I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW IT WORKS. ELEVEN OF MY CRONIES AND I ARE GOING ON A GOLF TOUR, AND I WANTED TO USE A SYSTEM THAT WOULD PUT US ALL ON THE SAME PAGE, BECAUSE SOME OF THE GUYS MAINTAIN A HANDICAP AND SOME DON’T.
— Tom Fowler, Edmonton, Alberta
AAugusta’s system is unique. The course has no Slope Rating. Members start with a handicap of 18, and in the course of a round two points are awarded for birdies or eagles, one point for pars, with everything else counting for nothing. The handicap for your next round is calculated by deducting the total number of points from 18. It’s a beautiful, elegant system that keeps things moving (you can pick up if you’re not going to do better than a bogey) and is so simple that even all those octogenarian members can do the computations with ease.
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Q
NONE OF MY FRIENDS CAN AGREE: IS IT EASIER FOR A HIGH-HANDICAPPER TO LOWER HIS HANDICAP, OR IS IT EASIER FOR A LOW-HANDICAPPER?
— Martin Gagnon, Wakefield, Quebec
A Improving at golf is like climbing a mountain. You start off as a beginner in the gentle foothills, and you are able to make great strides. You cover a lot of ground easily, and you get tremendously excited when you gaze at the majestic, towering peak above. But gradually, the hill starts to rise and the climb gets steeper. Now you have to work harder to keep advancing. Sooner or later, you get to where you just can’t seem to progress any farther. You’ve found your natural cruising altitude, and though there are always endless breakthroughs and setbacks, for the most part that’s where you stay — for years, often decades. The chance of clawing your way just a little higher is what keeps us coming back again and again. It’s what gets us out of bed in the middle of the night to make a dawn tee time; it makes us walk for six miles with a bag on our back when our knees and feet already hurt from the five miles we walked the day before; it makes us part far too easily with too much of our hard-earned money. A handful of lucky, talented people get almost to within spitting distance of the summit, though of course no one has ever actually set foot on that sacred place, not even for a day.
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