Epilogue

It took me weeks to get my cupcake. In my defense, it had been crazy. Sienna and I went to the hospital, where our injuries were deemed non-life-threatening. Once home, we both spent the next few days in bed. Emme came over to play caretaker.

Nat was also confined to a room. Of course, hers was a cell. Though the murder charges were dropped, the robbery charges stuck. ABC dragged its “exclusive” interview out for an entire week, especially once it found out she didn’t kill anyone. On day four, Nat talked about how Victory was innocently dropping her off at work one day when they were accosted by Toni’s goons (read: me and Aubrey), forcing them to drive for their lives while we tried to run them off the road.

Marina stopped by and told me Nat was close to a plea bargain that included two years in prison, giving all the celebs their stuff back, and making reparations, whatever that meant.

Even with the prison time, Nat was in better shape than Montgomery. Physically, he was okay. He’d survived our encounter since I missed all major arteries. And he dodged the death penalty after bypassing a lawyer and—in true manager form—negotiating a deal of his own. As part of the deal, he confessed to killing Haley and Victory and got life in prison. No parole.

All the local news channels carried his sentencing live. He spent over an hour speaking. It was quite the show. He had in fact been telling us the truth about how Haley started robbing houses. It was all his idea, though Haley and Nat were the ones who decided to siphon the goods through Clothes Encounters. It had been going great, until Toni’s house.

He said Haley freaked because she got caught on camera. She knew they’d ID her as soon as Toni got back from location. Haley wanted to skip town, but she needed money, since she apparently spent it just as quick as she stole it. She called Montgomery right after she left Toni’s house and demanded he give her enough cash to leave.

He didn’t have it, which pissed her off. She told him about some photos she had of him, which in turn pissed him off. The blackmailer didn’t take too kindly to being blackmailed himself.

Montgomery said he told her that he’d get her the cash, and also let her know about the money Kandy kept at her house. He sent an anonymous message to Victory, telling him that Haley was cheating, and let Haley borrow his car for her last robbery.

He told cops the car was stolen and waited. When they met up so Haley could give him the car back, she was mad because Nat had taken the cash from Kandy’s house. Montgomery claimed his money was still at his house, so she went to say goodbye to Betty and he was supposed to pick her up there. He did. To directly quote him, he “just didn’t stop first.”

The press ate it all up. Sienna took her manager being a two-time murderer in stride. She said she still planned to wear red every day. Her face was not only okay, but thanks to her plastic surgeon and a few extra nips and tucks, it was better than ever.

Emme went back to a world of poker, editing, and Candy Crush Soda Saga.

Toni got both her Pink Panther shoes and her photos back. She also fired her assistant. Emme immediately hated the replacement’s guts.

Due to calling 911 that last time and not the tip line, I was deemed ineligible to receive the reward for (finally) discovering Haley’s killer. It worked out for the best, though, because Toni gave me her own reward for returning her Grandma’s necklace. It was way more than $15,000.

I wasn’t going to accept it, but then remembered she spent that much in two hours at Saks. The money was enough to get my parents’ house out of foreclosure with a bit left over to live on until my next check. I was hoping that would be coming soon. The LAPD was offering $25,000 for information on an assault outside Dodgers Stadium. When I told Aubrey about it, we agreed to partner up. I hoped that I’d finally had found my calling, and I didn’t plan to quit it anytime soon.

Omari stopped by my hospital room, but I was asleep so we didn’t get to see each other. He then worked five straight twelve-hour days, followed by some time in New York filming a special two-part episode. Though I didn’t see him, we texted, mainly small talk with him checking in every day to see how I was doing. I told him how I’d been desperate for a sweet potato cupcake and we made plans to meet up to get one as soon as he got back from the East Coast.

When the day came, I actually beat him to the cupcake place. I sat down and the waitress hustled toward me. I spoke before she’d even entered a five-foot radius of the table. “Sweet potato cupcake and a hot chocolate, please.”

She didn’t bother to write it down. I didn’t know if she was that good or my order was that easy. I was about to ask when she glanced past me and did a double take. Someone had come in. “You need a menu?” she asked, cheesing up a storm.

She sure wasn’t talking to me. I followed her gaze, turning just in time to see Omari slide into the seat across from me. Now I understood why the waitress was so happy. I couldn’t blame her. I was pleased myself.

“What’s she having?” he asked.

“Sweet potato cupcake and hot chocolate.”

“I’ll take the same,” he said.

“Will do,” the waitress said, though she didn’t walk away.

After a few moments I spoke, just to mosey things along. “Thank you.”

It took her another thirty seconds, but she did eventually leave.

Omari turned to me and smiled. I couldn’t help but smile myself. It felt nice to finally have my friend back. Texting him every day had reminded me how much I missed him. I looked forward to getting back to normal, even if it was in the Friend Zone.

We stayed like that for a few seconds, just smiling it up, until he finally spoke.

“So what’s this about missing my hand?”

Shit.