Our journey toward death begins at birth. Yet acknowledgment and acceptance of mortality do not kick in until we are far down the road. Time seems to stand still when we are young. We see ourselves as indestructible.
This youthful bravado was knocked out of Ben long ago. His life may be more than half over as he enters his twenties. My experience with illnesses prompts me to look at my life and ask, How hard the journey? Ben can only wonder, how short?
A death-dealing illness forced Ben to grow up and confront the meaning of an abbreviated life. Yet he seems not to hear a clock ticking on his time here. Instead of self-pity or fear, he embodies ambition and a sense that there are no limitations. Opportunity and careers are what occupy his thoughts. His recent internship with Sen. Barack Obama was an exciting step, a new beginning on his uncertain path. Ben fixes on the contours of the road ahead, not its length. There is too much work to be done, perhaps no time to waste. His refusal to play victim seems instinctive. He dares to dream.
He has no idea how strong he is, how fierce his optimism, how powerful his selective denial. He is a living example of what I’ve come to believe: denial is liberating because it throws off despair and makes all things possible in the time we are given. Ben teaches us that adding quality to a life is all that matters; not its length. The “what ifs” and “one days” disappear in pursuit of the now, and life has new meaning.