Say It with Style
Body Language and Voice
Research has demonstrated that over half of all human communication takes place on the nonverbal level. When you speak before a group, your listeners base their judgment of you and your message on what they see as well as on what they hear.
Your body is an effective tool for adding emphasis and clarity to your words. It’s also your most powerful instrument for convincing an audience of your sincerity, earnestness, and enthusiasm. However, if your physical actions don’t agree with your verbal message, your body can defeat your words. Remember the following credo:
Effective speech delivery involves the whole person.
You can learn to use your entire body as an instrument of speech. As the speaker, you are the most important visual aid for your audience. Here are reasons you are important:
1. You don’t have to darken the room to be seen.
2. You don’t burn out.
3. You don’t jam up.
4. You don’t break.
5. You aren’t one-dimensional.
6. You don’t need a technician to operate you.
Developing your body language starts with examining the nonverbal messages a speaker gives, including these:
• Proper speaking posture
• Gestures
• Body movement/walking patterns
• Facial expressions
• Eye contact
• Your overall appearance
When you present a speech, your listeners use their eyes and ears, as well as their own people instincts, to determine whether you
• are sincere.
• welcome the opportunity to speak to the audience.
• truly believe what you are saying.
• are interested in the audience and care about them.
• are confident and in control.
Here’s another important credo:
Physical actions speak louder than words.
Consider the following example. Shuffling his notes, a man staggers to the podium. He clears his throat, grabs the lectern tightly, and plunges into his speech by saying, “It’s a great pleasure to be here today. I have a message of extreme importance to you.”
The effect of these opening remarks was anything but positive. Although his words expressed pleasure in addressing his audience, he transmitted a clearly contradictory nonverbal message: “I’m in terrible discomfort. I don’t actually want to be anywhere near here.”
This man’s visual messages may have been generated by nervousness and inexperience or actual physical discomfort and were transmitted unconsciously. His nonverbal communication branded him as insincere, indifferent, and incompetent, even though he was none of these things.
When you speak, your audience tends to mirror your attitudes as they perceive them through their senses. For example, if you’re unenthusiastic, your audience will feel that way, too. If you appear nervous, your audience will probably be nervous. If you fidget, they will perceive a lack of self-control in you and will be likely to doubt your message. It is vital, therefore, that your body faithfully portray your true feelings and intent, so that your body language doesn’t work against your goals.
Providing a true barometer of your feelings and attitudes is the single greatest benefit of purposeful, effective physical action in public speaking. There are other benefits as well.
• Physical actions make messages more meaningful.
• People tend to become bored with things that don’t move. They will naturally look at moving objects.
• Audiences remember messages that reach multiple senses. Therefore gestures, body movements, and facial expressions are valuable tools when employed skillfully.
• Physical actions punctuate your speeches. Written language includes an array of punctuation marks: commas, semicolons, periods, question marks, exclamation points, and so on. However, when you speak, you use an entirely different set of symbols to show what part of your speech is most important and to add power and vitality to your words.
• Physical actions help relieve nervous tension. Being nervous before a speech is healthy. It shows that your speech is important to you. But using your body effectively can help dispel your nervousness once you start speaking.
How you position your body when you speak communicates a set of visual messages to an audience. Good posture also helps you breathe properly and project your voice effectively. When you stand still, be careful not to sway or rock. Make sure both feet are planted firmly on the floor and your shoulders are square. Don’t lean, slouch, or hunch over. When you walk, stand tall. Be proud of yourself—you have an important message to communicate!
Gestures are specific body movements that reinforce a verbal message. Most gestures are made with your hands and arms. Your hands are marvelous tools of communication. A speaker’s gestures can suggest very precise bits of meaning to an audience. To be effective, a speaker’s gestures must be purposeful. They must also have the same meaning to the audience as they do to the speaker. Gestures reflect not only what is being said, but the personality behind the message.
• Gestures clarify and support your words. They strengthen the audience’s understanding of your verbal message.
• Gestures dramatize your ideas. They help paint vivid pictures in your listeners’ minds.
• Gestures lend emphasis and vitality. They underscore your feelings and attitudes.
• Gestures help dissipate nervous tension. They are a good outlet for nervous energy.
• Gestures function as visual aids. They enhance audience attentiveness and retention.
• Gestures stimulate audience participation. They help elicit the response you want.
Gestures are grouped into four categories:
1. Descriptive gestures. Are used to clarify or enhance. Some descriptive gestures include using your hands to indicate the size, shape, location, and function of something, like choppy ocean waves, a huge mountain, or a miniature creature.
2. Emphatic gestures. Underscore what is being said. For example, a clenched fist suggests strong feelings such as anger or determination.
3. Suggestive gestures. Are symbols of ideas or emotions. For example, an open palm suggests giving or receiving, while a shrug of the shoulders indicates ignorance, perplexity, or irony.
4. Prompting gestures. Are used to evoke a desired response from the audience. For example, if you want your listeners to raise their hands, applaud, or perform some other action, you will encourage the desired response by doing the act yourself as an example.
You can make gestures above, below, or at or near your shoulders; each position produces a different effect on your speech delivery.
1. Gestures above the shoulders suggest physical height, inspiration, or emotion.
2. Gestures below the shoulders indicate sadness, rejection, apathy, or condemnation.
3. Gestures at or near the shoulders suggest calmness, serenity.
The most frequently used gesture involves an open palm held outward toward the audience. As I said earlier, holding your palm outward implies giving or receiving. Unfortunately, most speakers use this gesture unconsciously as a general movement without any specific meaning. A palm held downward expresses suppression, secrecy, completion, or stability. A palm held upward and outward suggests stopping. Hands also imply measurement such as tall, short, small, long, and so on. As you practice your speech, experiment with different gestures to find those that both feel natural to you and underscore your message.
There are speakers who, with a well-placed gesture, can move an audience to the edge of their seats. For many speakers, however, the only body movements included in their presentations are the frantic clutching of note cards and grasping the lectern for support. Body movement and gestures make or break a speech. You can motivate your audience through well-timed gestures, pacing, and, of course, eye contact.
Gestures should consist of purposeful movements of the head, shoulders, arms, hands, and entire body. They should not be too repetitive.
All too often, when men stand up to speak, they immediately put their hands in their pockets. As they continue the presentation, their hands go deeper and deeper. When they eventually try to use their hands to gesture naturally, they find they’re so deep in their pockets that they have difficulty getting them out. Men also have the habit of playing with their pocket change. This only draws your audience’s attention to your hands and pockets and distracts them from listening to your message.
Women, on the other hand, have a habit of playing with their jewelry, hair, or clothes. For example, tugging at an earring, brushing their hair back with their fingers, or pulling their suit jacket down. Each of these habits is distracting to your audience.
International speaker David Peoples provides this list of distractions that are guaranteed to take the audience’s attention off the subject.
• Rattling keys or coins in your pocket
• Using ums, uhs, and ya knows
• Sucking the teeth
• Twisting a ring
• Stroking a beard
• Lip licking
• Lip biting
• Tugging your ear
• Cracking your knuckles
• Pushing your glasses back on the bridge of your nose
• Playing with a watch
• Drumming your fingers
• Bouncing a pencil on its eraser
• Blowing hair out of your eyes
• Popping the top of a marker
• Extending and retracting a telescopic pointer
• Twirling hair
• Playing with beads, gold chains, or other jewelry
When a gesture is not necessary, make sure you have a natural resting place for your hands, such as by your side, or with the elbows slightly bent and hands at waist level, in preparation for your next gesture.
Gestures are reflections of every speaker’s individual personality. What’s right for one speaker may not be right for another; however, if you apply the following seven rules, you can become a dynamic, confident speaker who uses gestures well.
1. Respond naturally to what you think, feel, and see. It’s natural for you to gesture. If you inhibit your impulse to gesture, you’ll probably become tense.
2. Create the condition for gesturing, not the gesture. When you speak, you should be totally involved in communicating—not thinking about your hands. Your gestures should be naturally motivated by the content of your presentation.
3. Suit the action to the word and the occasion. Your visual and verbal messages must function as partners in communicating the same thought or feeling. Every gesture you make should be purposeful and reflective of your words so the audience will note only the effect, not the gesture itself.
4. Don’t overdo the gesturing. You’ll draw the listener away from your message. Young audiences are usually attracted to a speaker who uses vigorous gestures, but older, more conservative groups may feel your physical actions are overwhelming or irritating.
5. Make your gestures convincing. Your gestures need to be lively and distinct if they are to convey the intended impressions. Effective gestures are vigorous enough to be convincing yet slow enough and broad enough to be clearly visible without being overpowering. For example, if you are conveying excitement about a point or topic in your speech, show it in your face such as with a big smile. If you are excited and don’t show it, your body language sends a negative message. Your gestures need to match your words and the mood you are conveying.
6. Make your gestures smooth and well timed. This rule is the most important but also the hardest. Why? Gestures have to be planned in advance so you can incorporate them during your speech rehearsal. In addition, practice sessions allow you to get a sense of how early you need to start your gesture so it coincides with the point you are making. Every gesture has three parts:
• The approach. Your body begins to move in anticipation.
• The stroke. The gesture itself.
• The return. This brings your body back to a balanced posture.
The flow of a gesture—the approach, the stroke, the return—most be smoothly executed so that only the stroke is evident to the audience. While it’s advisable to practice gesturing, don’t try to memorize your every move. This makes your gesturing stilted and ineffective. For example, you’re standing on the left-hand side of the stage (the audience’s left) and you need to use the flip chart to illustrate a point, but the flip chart is on the far right-hand side of the stage (the audience’s right). You may say to your audience, “Let’s take a look at it on the flip chart.”
As you start this statement begin walking toward the flip chart (the approach). Your goal is to start your gesture early enough so you can walk naturally toward the flip chart. At the word flip chart place your hand on the flip chart. This combined walking and placement of your hand on the flip chart is the gesture or the stroke. After a brief moment, place your hand on the flip chart and then take your hand and move it to one of your resting positions. This is the return or completion of the gesture.
7. Make natural, spontaneous gesturing a habit. The first step in becoming adept at gesturing is to determine what, if anything, you are doing now. For example, pay attention to the gestures you use in everyday conversations and try to use these gestures during your presentation. If you prefer, you can videotape your practice speech. For more on videotaping, see Day 8 and “Body Language” later in this chapter. The camcorder is truthful and unforgiving. If you want to become a more effective speaker, you need to make the camcorder your best friend. Recording yourself is a surefire way to eliminate your distracting mannerisms. Videotape yourself and identify your bad habits. Then work at eliminating them.
To improve gestures, practice—but never during a speech. Practice gesturing when speaking informally to friends, family members, and co-workers.
Changing your position or location while speaking is the broadest, most visible physical action you can perform. Therefore it can either help drive your message home or spell failure for even the most well-planned speech.
Moving your body in a controlled, purposeful manner creates three benefits.
1. Supports and reinforces what you say
2. Attracts an audience’s attention
3. Burns up nervous energy and relieves physical tension
However, body movement can work against you. Remember this one rule:
Never move without a reason.
As I said earlier, the eye is inevitably attracted to a moving object, so any body movement you make during a speech invites attention. Too much movement, even the right kind, can become distracting to an audience. Bear in mind the following types of body movement:
• Stepping forward during a speech suggests you are arriving at an important point.
• Stepping backward indicates you’ve concluded an idea and want the audience to relax for a moment.
• Lateral movement implies a transition; it indicates that you are leaving one thought and taking up another. For example, if you are standing in front of the audience and are ready to move on to your next point, move slowly sideways until you are standing next to the lectern.
The final reason for body movement is the easiest: to get from one place to another. In almost every speaking situation, you must walk from the location you are addressing your audience to your props, especially if you use visual aids. Always change positions by leading with the foot nearest your destination.
You may ask, Why move in the first place? Moving forces people to focus and follow you. The way you walk from your seat to the speaker’s location is very important. When you are introduced, you should appear eager to speak. Many speakers look as though they are heading toward execution.
• Walk confidently from your seat to the lectern. Pause there a few seconds and then move out from behind the lectern. As discussed before, it is wise to use the lectern as a point of departure, not a barrier to hide behind.
• Smile before you say your first words.
• Don’t stand too close or move beyond the first row of participants.
• Don’t walk too much. It works against you. Continuous pacing is distracting.
• Walking stresses an important idea. It is essential that you walk with purpose and intention, not just a random shift of position. For example, taking about three steps, moving at a slight angle, usually works best.
• Use three positions with visual aids. Your “home” position is front and center. The other two positions should be relatively near the “home” position. You can move to the right of the podium and then to the left. Using and varying these three positions prevents you from favoring one side of the audience. If you’re speaking on a stage, these three positions are called front center, stage left, and stage right. Never stand in front of any visual aid.
• Practice your walking patterns to and from your three positions. These positions should be planned just as your hand gestures are. For example, you want your body to move and gesture naturally. However, since most people are nervous about speaking in public, they tend to stiffen their muscles and hold back their natural tendency to gesture. Let your body tell you when it wants to move.
• Maintain good posture when you are not moving.
Leave that deadpan expression to poker players. A good speaker realizes that appropriate facial expressions are an important part of effective communication. In fact, facial expressions are often the key determinant of the meaning behind the message. People watch a speaker’s face during a presentation. When you speak, your face—more clearly than any other part of your body—communicates to your audience your attitudes, feelings, and emotions.
Dr. Paul Ekman of the University of California at San Francisco has made a career of studying facial expression and facial animation. He mapped out a technique for coding facial expressions called facial action coding system, FACS, based on the role facial muscles play in expressing different emotions. Ekman’s research indicates that there are seven emotional expressions shared by everyone: sadness, happiness, anger, interest, fear, contempt, and surprise.
Here is a list of tips you need to know:
1. Be yourself. Don’t try to copy the facial expression style of someone else. For example, just because your favorite professional speaker starts his or her presentations by telling a story using exaggerated facial expressions doesn’t mean it will work for you.
2. Don’t overdo it. Some people intentionally try to control their facial expressions by forcing themselves to smile or use another expression that isn’t natural to them. Watch out for “fake” facial expressions that have a negative impact on your speech or compromise your sincerity.
3. Practice in front of a mirror. Notice what expressions you use while speaking. Study how to control your facial expressions. Ask yourself, Do they match my words?
4. Create different moods. While practicing in front of the mirror, see if your facial expressions convey the mood you want to create. If your face isn’t showing any emotion, stop, refocus, and try again.
5. Think about what you are saying. Focus on your message and communicating with your audience, and your facial expressions follow.
6. Smile before you begin. As I’ve said before, the one true international nonverbal expression understood by all is the smile. A warm smile before you begin to speak warms up an audience quickly, and ending with a smile puts your audience at ease with what they’ve just learned.
One key element of facial expression is eye contact. It is estimated that 80 percent of nonverbal communication takes place with your face and your eyes. Eye contact is the cement that binds together speakers and their audiences. When you speak, your eyes involve your listeners in your presentation.
There is no faster way to break a communication bond between you and the audience than by failing to look at your listeners. No matter the size of your audience, each listener wants to feel that you are talking directly to him or her.
Looking at your listeners as individuals convinces them that you are sincere, are interested in them, and care whether or not they accept your message. Effective eye contact is also an important feedback device that makes the speaking situation a two-way communication process. By looking at your audience, you determine how they are reacting to your presentation.
Your eyes convey a message to your audience. Here are tips to help you use your eyes to better communicate with your audience.
• Know your material. Know your material backward and forward, so you don’t have to devote mental energy to scanning your note cards for the next topic (an audience interprets this latter behavior negatively, perceiving that you are unsure about what follows your last point). Prepare well and rehearse often so you don’t have to depend heavily on notes.
• Establish a visual bond. Select one person and maintain eye contact with that person long enough to establish a visual bond, about five to ten seconds. Then shift your gaze to another person. In a small group, this is relatively easy. With larger crowds it’s difficult. Instead select one or two individuals in each section of the room and establish personal bonds with them. This will leave each listener with the impression you’re talking directly to him or her.
• Monitor visual feedback. While you are talking, your listeners are responding with their own nonverbal messages such as a smile or nod of the head. Use your eyes to seek out this valuable feedback. If individuals aren’t looking at you, they may not be listening, either. Reasons for this include the following:
—They can’t hear you. Solution: If you are not using a microphone, speak louder.
—They are bored. Solution: Use humor, increase your vocal variety, or add powerful gestures or body movements.
—They are puzzled. Solution: Repeat or rephrase what you have just said.
—They are fidgeting nervously. Solution: You may be using distracting mannerisms. Heighten your self-awareness of your voice and body language.
On the other hand, if your listeners’ faces indicate interest and close attention, don’t change a thing. You’re doing a great job!
Wear your best suit or dress for your presentation, the outfit that elicits the most compliments. Make sure that every item of clothing is clean, pressed, and tailored. You know what type of attire to wear based on the information you learned from your preprogram and custom survey (Day 3) about your audience. Don’t wear jewelry that might glitter or jingle when you move or gesture. This diverts attention from your speech. For the same reason, remove items and anything such as pocket change that makes noise when you move.
The first impression you give is completely related to your overall appearance and occurs even before you are introduced to deliver your speech. To convey a positive appearance as the audience arrives, you shouldn’t be studying your speech, but rather mingling with the audience and projecting that same friendly, confident attitude you will use in your speech.
Here are three ways to make your body speak effectively.
1. Rid yourself of distracting mannerisms. When your actions are intertwined with your words, the impact of your speech is strengthened. If your platform behavior includes mannerisms unrelated to your spoken message, those actions call attention to themselves and away from your speech. Eliminate vocal and visual impediments.
You can easily correct a verbal mistake because you hear your own words. Since you can’t see yourself, most distracting mannerisms go uncorrected. You can’t eliminate them unless you know they exist. Again, the best way to correct this behavior is to videotape yourself.
Here is my four-step process for reviewing your videotape to free yourself of physical behaviors that distract from your speech:
• Review #1. Review your tape without looking for mannerisms. Just listen to the presentation and evaluate the overall impact you experience from watching the tape.
• Review #2. Turn the volume down and review your tape a second time. Look for visual distractions such as swaying your body, fixing your hair, or touching your face. Take notes on what you observe—note distracting mannerisms as well as gestures or other body movements that you feel work well.
• Review #3. Turn the picture off or turn away from the screen and listen only to your voice. The audience interprets and makes assumptions about your body language based on your verbal interpretations. Become accustomed to listening to your own voice. Get to know it as others hear it. Note what you like and dislike. Pay attention to the speed, volume, and the tone of your voice.
• Review #4. After you complete your list of distracting mannerisms and your more positive points, ask one or two family members to watch the tape with you. Get their initial impression. Ask them to be honest about the strengths and weaknesses of your mannerisms.
A great way to practice overcoming your distracting mannerisms is to pay attention to your mannerisms the next several times you have a conversation with a friend or family member.
2. Let your body mirror your message. If you are interested in your subject, believe what you are saying, and want to share your message with others, your physical movements come from within and are appropriate to what you are saying.
For example, I was working with a company CEO who believed he shouldn’t use his hands to communicate because he was Italian and felt he already “talked” too much with his hands. As a result of this belief, he intentionally restricted his movements and hand gestures. Subconsciously he created an image he felt he needed to protect and he put on a mask by not allowing his inner self to truly express what he was feeling. After working with him on this behavior and teaching him how to speak conversationally using hand gestures, I was able to fine-tune his gestures so they were more effective in communicating his message.
To become an effective speaker, it is essential that you throw away your mask and share your true feelings with your audience. Your audience wants to know how you feel about your subject. If you want to convince others, you must convey your convictions. Remember this credo:
Speak from the heart and to the soul.
3. Use your everyday speaking situations to practice body language. Whenever you speak to people, make an extra effort to notice how you speak. Observe your listener’s facial expressions to see if he or she does or does not comprehend what you are saying. For example, a listener who is not making eye contact with you may not understand or may be bored. A listener who responds to your message, such as with a nod of agreement, understands and is attentive to your presentation.
As an exercise to help you practice body language and gestures, prepare a ninety-second presentation about yourself. Describe who you are and what you do. Record your presentation and review it using the four-point process discussed in step one. Since you are talking about yourself, no research is required; however, you do need to prepare what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Plan everything, including your gestures and walking patterns.
No matter what you believe, there is no such thing as the “perfect voice.” Each individual voice is as unique as the person’s hairstyle and manner of dress. Nothing is worse than listening to a speaker with a monotone voice. While your visual presentation has a big impact on your audience, your tone of voice is also very important. How you sound and the manner in which you vary your voice has a notable effect on your listeners.
• Have a conversation with your audience. Think about your message, and just think of your speech as having a conversation with your audience. For example, think of your audience as a friend you talk to often.
• Talk loudly enough. Make sure that your audience can hear you. Use a microphone if necessary. If the audience cannot hear you, they will tune you out.
• Use expression in your voice. If you truly believe in what you are saying, this will communicate through the expression in your voice.
• Pronounce your words carefully. Take the time to learn proper pronunciation. Nothing is worse than watching a speaker stumble over words.
• Do not speak too fast. This is one of the most common problems speakers have. Many people speak too fast because of nervousness. Watch your speed!
• Do not use filler words such as “um,” “ah,” or “okay.” Spend time and learn to eliminate these filler words.
• Increase your volume to convey excitement. Show excitement in your voice, but be careful not to yell.
• Decrease your volume to evoke emotion. Lowering your volume is an effective way to show your emotions. Just be careful not to speak too softly.
• Change your speed to match your audience’s needs. I speak to a variety of age groups ranging from older adults to elementary students. In general, with older groups I speak more slowly. Since I usually speak on the faster side, this is a challenge for me. A younger audience, on the other hand, looks for fast-paced presentations and a speaker who demonstrates high energy.
I also use speed to “wake up” an audience. If a previous speaker has effectively put the audience to sleep, I use speed to reenergize them. I use this speed in connection with animated movement, but I make sure I still speak clearly so the audience understands my message.
• Use proper breathing. Inhale and exhale fully to assure that you project your voice clearly and provide the necessary air support to your voice.
There are times when you may be asked to step in for a co-worker and give a presentation with only a few moments to prepare. Take into consideration that you were most likely asked to speak because you have knowledge about the topic. The most important thing—don’t panic. If you can, find a copy of the presentation handouts and scan them, writing down the main topics for each portion of the presentation. This allows you to quickly look at the content of the presentation. If the original speaker planned to use slides, quickly skim each slide and write down the key points. Do not concern yourself with using the exact words on the slide. If the slides are properly prepared, each will have only a few key phrases—your talking points for each section of the presentation.
In the event you don’t have a co-worker’s handouts or slides, quickly develop an outline or mind map (see Day 8) and do the following:
• List your main points and write down a few key words about each.
• Speak spontaneously and confidently from your heart.
• Trust your experience and knowledge.
• Focus on your message and not on the fact that you had to rush to put together a presentation.
In Day 6 I will discuss the use of language and ethics in your speech, along with tips on how to use humor. In addition, I will discuss ten famous speeches from history and what you can learn from them.