Questions for Individual Reflection or Group Discussion 
Questions for Individual Reflection or Group Discussion 1. When you look back on your childhood, can you think of a person (someone like Al’s neighbors or a friend, teacher, or family member) who was a good influence? How did this person affect you?
2. Have you had an experience that you thought was horrible at the time, but later things worked out? How can you see God’s hand in your life through those circumstances?
3. God always has a big picture in mind. If you are going through a difficult time right now, will you trust God to see you through it and ultimately work all things together for your good? What steps of trust do you need to take so that God can work in you?
4. How can you apply Al’s encouragement to a situation in your life? “I am living proof that bad beginnings can lead to happy endings . . . Stay close to God, persevere through the hard times, and believe life can be better—and pretty soon it will be.”
1. Can you relate to some of the hardships Al describes in this chapter? (For example, being abandoned, being poor, being exposed to bad or inappropriate behavior, carrying responsibility at a young age.) How did you feel then, and how do you feel about those situations now?
2. Do you believe God can drastically change a person, like He changed Al’s dad, Phil? Why or why not? If you are struggling to believe, what can you do?
3. Have you experienced a turnaround from a bad situation, or are you still waiting for good to come out of it? What areas are you still working on?
4. How can you apply to your life Al’s statement “No matter what has happened to you, what other people may have done to you, or what you have done to yourself, your past does not have to determine your future”?
5. Do you know someone for whom change seems impossible? How can you pray for that person, believing that God can completely transform their life?
1. Lisa talks about the sexual abuse she suffered as a child. Have you, or anyone you know, experienced abuse? (It could be psychological, emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse.) What were the effects of that abuse?
2. Why is it hard to get rid of guilt and shame for things we have kept secret?
3. If you have been abused, do you ever wish you had confronted your abuser, as Lisa did? It’s not too late to do that with the help of a wise, trusted counselor or therapist. If the abuser is deceased, consider writing him or her a letter. The person will never read it, but putting your feelings on paper could be very healing for you.
4. What do you think is the first step an abused person can take toward healing?
5. How does Lisa’s following statement give you hope for your own life or for someone you love? “The wall of shame so many abuse victims feel they must hide behind is coming down . . . The journey to healing is not easy, but it’s worth it—and it can happen in your life.”
1. How did Lisa’s abuse impact the way she thought about herself and her purpose in life? Has anything had that same kind of effect on you?
2. What does intimacy look like to you?
3. Why do you think God’s plan for sex is that it be limited to marriage? What happens when people go outside of His plan?
4. If you have failed or made mistakes in some area of your life, including the sexual part, is it too late for restoration? Why or why not? Read what Al says about this and think about how it applies to your life: “Lisa and I both have a history of sexual sin. (Which means we’re familiar with all the reasons and excuses for not following God’s plan. Been there. Done that.) But we also have a history of forgiveness and redemption, and we know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, new beginnings are always an option.”
1. What two behaviors that stem from sexual abuse does Lisa describe? What attitudes or behaviors did you have as a teenager that turned out to be unhealthy? What lessons have you learned since that time, and how have you changed and grown?
2. What should a young person do if he or she was caught in a destructive web like Al or Lisa?
3. Al says, “No matter what you have done in your life, no matter how foolish you have been or how many stupid mistakes you have made (and I made plenty!), every day is a new opportunity to choose to be wise and to live in wisdom for the rest of your life.” Is it ever too late for a person to choose to live wisely? Why or why not? What wise choice toward change do you need to make today?
4. Lisa writes, “Had we built our relationship on a solid foundation, we most likely would have avoided much of the heartache we have endured.” How does a couple build a solid foundation?
1. In what ways does forgiveness change the forgiver as well as the offender?
2. How do you move on when you have been hurt badly?
3. Al’s parents showed him “tough love.” What is tough love, and how do you express it?
4. Has anyone ever shown you the kind of love Phil showed Al when he returned from New Orleans? How did that make a difference in your life?
5. Al writes: “Rebellious young people are often deeply afraid and sometimes ashamed of their behavior once they realize what they’ve done. When they can also recognize how much they’re loved, they have a much easier time changing their ways and learning to make good decisions.” When someone you care about wants to make the right choices, why should you be loving instead of judgmental?
1. You may or may not have been involved with a physical abortion, but what plans, hopes, dreams, or relationships have been cut short in your life? What hope did this chapter give you for the fulfillment of those things that have been lost in your life?
2. Lisa tried to fill the hole in her heart with people and behavior that didn’t satisfy her longings. Why do you think her attempt to look for love in all the wrong places failed? What or who can truly satisfy?
3. Lisa writes, “The sacrifice of Christ is enough. It’s enough to heal you, set you free, restore and redeem your life, and move you toward a greater purpose and destiny than you ever dreamed possible.” What does this statement mean to you? Why?
4. If you have a hard time forgiving yourself, ask yourself the same question Lisa asks: “If Jesus can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself?”
5. Think about Miss Kay’s advice: “Confess it. Own it. And move on.” What do you need to confess? How do you own it? What practical steps can you take to move on?
6. Reread what Lisa says about Jesus Christ. How did her relationship with Him help Lisa and heal her injured heart? Is it possible for Jesus to do the same for you? If you are not sure, you can invite Him into your life and ask Him to bring restoration and peace to your heart. Al will help you know how to do this in chapter 18.
1. In what specific ways did Al change? What would you like to see change in yourself, and how does Al’s life inspire you?
2. When you have been disappointed again and again, how hard is it to accept that a person has been transformed? What difference does Jesus Christ make?
3. What do you think is the most important thing in a marriage relationship?
4. In a letter, Lisa gives her daughter the marriage advice she wishes she’d had: “You can both protect yourselves from the really harmful mistakes by guarding your hearts, your minds, and your marriage. To do this, Christ has to be the center of your life. He has to be the third strand that makes your rope unbreakable.” How does a person go about making Jesus Christ central in a relationship, and why is this so important?
1. Can you picture Al’s family on the way to the wedding standing by their disabled car? What mistakes have you made that seem funny to you now?
2. In your own words, what does it mean to “leave and cleave”?
3. Al and Lisa say, “The idea of severance is emotional and mental as much as it is physical. It’s essential that we change our allegiance and shuffle our priorities. Even good relationships with parents, siblings, in-laws, and extended family need to take second place to the marriage relationship.” What are some practical ways a couple can reprioritize relationships and bond with each other?
4. What is the best way to handle differences between you and your spouse?
1. Al and Lisa found a creative way to be alone when they were living with Granny and Pa. Think of a challenge you are facing right now, whether it is huge or tiny. How can you deal with it in a creative way?
2. How does a person get out of the cycle of feeling guilty for past failures and receive the forgiveness of God?
3. What “real” situations have you tried to wrestle with? What solutions have you found?
4. Al offers much hope when he says, “If reality has hit you hard recently and you are afraid, alone, or confused, let me encourage you to rely on your faith. Trust that God will give you the grace and wisdom you need. Believe that He has good in store for you.” How can your faith help you? What should you do if you are having a hard time believing God?
1. How did Al and Lisa’s crisis bring them closer to God? To each other?
2. When the nurse shared with Al about her own premature baby, what effect did that have on him? How does her simple action encourage you to reach out to people with a smile or encouraging word?
3. Romans 5:3–4 and 8:38–39 gave great comfort to Al and Lisa. What promises does God make in these passages? How did they help build character and faith in them?
4. Have you been disappointed by someone who, like the preacher, failed to give you hope, comfort, or encouragement in your hour of greatest need? What lesson did Al learn from this disappointing experience? What can you learn from it as well?
1. Why do you think conflict over money is such a big issue in marriage?
2. What advice would you give to a person who says, “I did not sign up for this”?
3. What do you do when it seems that your spouse or someone you love is blind to how you feel?
4. Lisa writes, “I did not know how to have a healthy, honest conversation with Al about all of this; I just knew I was unhappy.” What is the first step in developing the ability to communicate?
1. After reading this chapter, what things would you say are at the root of most unhappy marriages?
2. In what ways is “busyness” an escape from real intimacy?
3. What does the devil try to do in our lives? (See John 10:10.) How does he try to accomplish his purposes?
4. Al pleads, “Have an honest conversation with your spouse, make your needs and desires known, and do your best to work together to reach the level of fulfillment God intends for you to enjoy in marriage.” What do you wish you could discuss with your spouse? How are you going to initiate an honest conversation?
1. Why does Lisa refer to secrets as “time bombs”? What should you do if you are trapped by a secret or living a double life?
2. Why is it unwise to reconnect with someone with whom you have had an intimate relationship in the past? Lisa compares this kind of relationship to juggling with what weapon? Why does she use that image?
3. Lisa says, “Something in me drove me to feed the darkness inside me; it kept me keeping secrets and spinning webs of deceit.” What does she say was at the root of this bad behavior? Why?
4. Have you ever struggled with the kind of torment Lisa endured—loving Al and not wanting to hurt him, yet hurting him deeply behind his back? If you are in that type of situation, seek help from a qualified therapist who can help you sort through your feelings before they do even more damage to you or someone you love.
1. Lisa admits to having been a “Christian imposter” for years. What is a “Christian imposter”?
2. How does the way Lisa’s friends and support system treated her after the affair became public inspire you to deal with people who may be caught in various kinds of sin or bondage?
3. Why was Lisa’s letter to the church so powerful? How do you think that kind of honesty could help a person find healing and restoration?
4. In your own words, what does 1 John 1:9 mean? How did the truth of this verse play out in Lisa’s life?
1. What aspects of Al and Lisa’s story have most inspired you to believe the best for your own marriage?
2. What role did forgiveness play in Al and Lisa’s reconciliation? In a specific situation in your life, whether it’s in your marriage or not, how can you extend grace instead of judgment?
3. How are forgiveness and freedom connected?
4. Why did Miss Kay say that Lisa’s repentance meant more to her than the repayment of the money Lisa owed Duck Commander? Has anyone ever been that gracious to you? Is there someone in your life to whom you need to extend that kind of grace?
5. Why is honoring and obeying God’s Word the pathway to blessing?
1. What motivates Al and Lisa to share their story so honestly and openly?
2. Why is it important to have support from family, friends, and the church when you are having a difficult time?
3. After they reconciled, Al and Lisa were tested. What tests have you experienced? What did you learn?
4. Al says, “The past can be forgiven and redeemed. No matter what has happened, God always offers a second chance . . . I am living proof that second chances exist.” What in your past needs to be forgiven and redeemed?
1. Why is it important to learn to look at life in terms of seasons, realizing that everything on earth is temporary?
2. If you are going through a difficult time right now, how does reading about Al and Lisa’s life today give you hope for your future?
3. Al writes: “The salvation we received from Christ was our first step to a better life, a better way of thinking, and a better way of handling the effects of sin and its consequences.” How have you seen that through their story in this book?
4. Will you believe that, no matter what you are going through, God can heal and redeem every aspect of brokenness you have ever experienced in your life? What difference will believing this make in your life?
5. What do the following Bible verses mean to you personally? John 3:16, Romans 8:8–10, Romans 6:1–14, Galatians 5:16–26.