Chapter 11 Noah (Past)
“You. Look. Stunning!” I almost drooled when I saw Siena in her gown.
“I know, I do, huh?” Siena never lacked in the self-confidence department. “I’m going to wear this when we go to the naval dinner this weekend.”
“Gorgeous. Now, can I get back to studying? I really need to do well this semester and you’re not helping by asking me to be your fashion consultant.”
I tried to sound as serious as I could be, but Siena only pouted and kissed me on the cheek. “You’re not my consultant. I only needed a man’s opinion. Mom thought it showed a little too much cleavage for a man-dominated dinner.”
“Next to your pouty lips and sultry eyes, that may be your best asset.” She semi-glared at me. “What?” I asked, not having a clue why she’d be offended by my statement. “Couldn’t you tell me I was smart, kind and beautiful?”
“You’re that, too. Now may I study?” There was not an ounce of exaggeration when I explained my need to excel this semester. My future depended upon my success in school. “By the way, why are you here every day? Your mom stop feeding you at your home?”
“I thought you enjoyed my company?”
“I do when I don’t have to study.”
“When did you become so studious?” Apparently, she got the hint; she started packing up her messenger bag. “You’re not as much fun as you were the summer we hung out.”
“I’ve always been studious. If I lived my life like the summer we hung out, I’d be a beach bum on Jersey Shore.”
“Do you remember when we lied to our parents and went away for a weekend in Vegas?”
Did I ever. That was one of Siena’s craziest schemes. “What did you tell your parents about that weekend?”
“Fortunately, the Admiral was away on a secret mission. As for Mama, I told her I was spending the weekend at Hilary’s house, but she knew I was with you. Honestly, I think the reason she let me stay away for an entire weekend was because she knew you’d take care of me.”
“That was a lot of trust given to a horny eighteen-year-old.”
Siena fell on my bed and laughed. “You remember how I brought that Cosmo’s Guide to Sex book and we tried to perform all those sex acts listed in the manual?”
I had to laugh with her. “I thought my dick would fall off after our third round.”
“You were done after one night. I only hope you have more staying power now. Otherwise, your girlfriend won’t want to spend a weekend with you.”
The word girlfriend was a splash of water to my very warm body. Even if it was innocent reminiscing, it needed to stop. There was already too much guilt in my heart.
“Uh, I thought you were leaving?” I needed separation from my ex, my newfound good friend.
“All right, all right, I get the hint. Lucky for you, I happen to like you a lot. If not for my easy-going attitude, I might have dropped you as a friend already.”
I helped her pack up her bag and encouraged her to leave. “See you.” I didn’t say when I’d see her. Hopefully, I could put some distance between us.
“Good-bye, Noah Bergstrom.” As with every parting, she hugged me then kissed me on both cheeks.
I couldn’t have been more relieved when Siena left. With each parting, I felt an enormous sense of guilt and a burden to confess. Siena and I were only friends, and there was nothing to confess, but our get-togethers never felt right.
“Noah?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
Mom didn’t look happy with me. I knew what was on her mind. It was surprising she had waited this long to speak to me.
“What’s happening with Siena? I’ve seen her with you every day you’ve been home. And from the looks of it, I assume you’re with her on the days you’re not home?”
“Yeah, but it’s not what it looks like.”
“You’re an adult, but I’m still your mother. In all the days your father’s been away on his missions, he’s never, ever, ever stepped out on me. How do I know? I know because he never gave me reasons to doubt his words. I trusted him from the day we got together and I still trust him. Trust is something that’s so hard to earn, but so easily lost.”
“All right, Mom. I get it.”
“I don’t think you do. You’re hurting Marni and in turn hurting yourself. Going on a shopping spree with your emotions with a woman who knows you have a girlfriend doesn’t speak well for Siena, either. If she has no regard for Marni’s feelings, eventually, she’ll have no regard for yours.”
“I get it, Mom.” I repeated with angst and anger. “Like you said, I’m a grown adult. I understood you and I’ll take care of it.”
Mom wanted to say more, but she held back.
I walked away before it was too late.
None of what Mom said was wrong, except I thought she was harsh on Siena. Mom didn’t understand Siena’s joie de vivre attitude. Seeing as I was thoroughly reprimanded, I knew it was time for penance.
“Hey.” My heart dropped when I heard Marni’s surprised and wary greeting.
“Hi. How are you?” I proceeded with caution.
“Um, fine. And you?” I hated the composure. It was as if she was talking to a sales guy making a cold call.
“Busy. I can’t wait for the semester to be done.” This was my catchphrase in every conversation. I’d told her how busy I was and that was why I couldn’t call, email, text, or visit. Damn. I sounded like a broken record.
“That should be a nice break for you.”
“I wanted to ask you a couple of things.”
“Sure.”
“I wanted to invite you to a couple of events.” I expected to hear some sort of an “OK,” or “sounds interesting,” or something. She stayed silent. “There’s a big Navy dinner this weekend honoring my dad as well as a few other Navy heads, and I wondered if you’d like to attend with me?” The last words, “with me” were said in a high-pitched, I’m-an-idiot-for-asking-you-so-late tone. “I also wanted to see if you wanted to spend Thanksgiving here with me.” There. I got it all out.
She was quiet for a while. “Um, I don’t think this weekend will be possible. I’d like to but today being Wednesday, I don’t know if there will be flights available and the price might be…” I should have sent her a ticket a long time ago to this event. I was an asshole for holding off. I knew Marni couldn’t afford last minute plane fare to New York. Calling her was worse than not calling her. “As for Thanksgiving, let me see what I can do. I don’t want Mom to be alone. Can I let you know after I talk to Mom?”
“Sure. Of course. And I’m sorry about this weekend and not letting you know sooner. It’s been on my mind but…” I had no real excuse except for the fact that I was a shithead. “Anyhow, I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right.” Without seeing her face, I knew she was hurting. My heart was in pain for her and I was the idiot doing the hurting. Somewhere, this relationship, thanks to me, had gone very wrong. “Noah?” She asked so cautiously.
“Yes?”
“I can’t wait to talk to you.” I supposed what we were doing wasn’t exactly conversing. I talked. She answered. “We have a lot that needs to be said.”
“Maybe next week after my dad’s event?”
“Sure. Have a good day.”
“Yeah, OK. Bye.”
That was so damn painful. I didn’t know when we had turned into strangers.
Couples in long-distance relationships probably all had issues at one point or another. After this weekend’s event, we’d talk through the awkwardness and I’d convince Marni to bring her mom to New York over Thanksgiving.
During that long weekend, we’d go back to being Noah and Marni.