CHAPTER FIVE
Uchenna and Elliot stood at the top of a dark stairwell. The bell had rung, and kids were rushing outside to take advantage of the beautiful fall day. They would be playing kickball or tag or lounging under a maple tree with bright red leaves. Whereas Uchenna and Elliot were gazing down a narrow staircase to the basement, where they’d find another stairway to the sub-basement, where they’d find a small door that led to Professor Fauna’s office.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Uchenna asked.
“Absolutely not,” said Elliot.
“Do your mom and grandma know you’re here?”
“I called and told them I was joining the band.”
“Oh! Cool,” said Uchenna. “What instrument do you play?”
“None. I’m not really joining the band. I’m here with you.”
“Right.”
“Did you tell your parents?”
“Yeah,” said Uchenna. “I called and told them I was joining the basketball team.”
“Oh! Cool. What position do you play?”
“What? I don’t. I’m—”
Elliot interrupted her. “I was kidding.”
“Oh.”
Silence fell. The kids gazed down the long, dark stairwell again.
“Well?” said Uchenna at last. “Wanna go hang out with some weird dude in a basement?”
“Not really. But I guess it’ll be better if we face it together.”
Uchenna threw her arm around his shoulders. “See? That’s what I’m talking about.”
Elliot sighed.
They descended the stairs, found the second staircase, and descended that one, too. They walked along a dark and narrow hallway with a filthy, rough cement floor. Uchenna began to sing a song with very little melody.
“Elliot and Uchenna
walking in the spooky basement.
Hopefully, no weirdos
jump out from the dark and kill them.”
Elliot shuddered. “Can’t you make up something happier?”
“That was in the style of Lou Reed. He said to write about real life,” Uchenna replied. But she decided to hum the rest of the song instead of inventing more lyrics.
Finally, they came to a door with a sign that said: JANITORIAL SUPPLIES. Except someone had partially covered it with a handwritten nameplate that read:
Uchenna knocked. Instantly, they heard the sound of dead bolts being thrown—click, clack, clunk, kerchunk, kerplunk. Five heavy-duty locks. For the social studies department? The door slowly swung open, revealing the tall man with the tattered suit and the threatening eyes.
“Children! ¡Fantástico!” exclaimed the professor, as if he were surprised it was them and not some mortal enemy of his. “Please come in. We have much to discuss.”
They entered a room that wasn’t much bigger than the inside of a large car. Three walls were lined with floor-to-ceiling shelves that bent under the weight of an enormous collection of books. At first glance, the fourth wall appeared to be covered with the world’s weirdest wallpaper. But it wasn’t wallpaper—it was charts and maps, thumbtacked on top of one another in a crazy patchwork and crammed with handwritten notes and drawings. Against that wall was a cramped desk piled high with notebooks, tabloid newspapers, and fast-food-meal toys. The place looked like it had been hit by a hurricane and then a tornado and then a pack of rabid raccoons. Even so, the children got the sense that it was governed by some strange organizational system known only to the professor.
Professor Fauna closed the door behind them and locked the five dead bolts. The sound of each one made Elliot wince. “Thank you both for coming. As new members of the Unicorn Rescue Society, I will be training you to—”
Just then, a blur of blue and red shot out from behind the only chair and collided with Elliot’s head. Elliot screamed and tumbled backward.
He writhed against a wall of books, his face being attacked by a strange creature with soft blue fur and bright red wings.
“It’s only Jersey!” Uchenna said. The young Jersey Devil was now clinging to Elliot’s face, his tiny claws hooked on to Elliot’s skin.
“Ow! Ow! Get it off!” Elliot cried.
“I think he missed you,” Uchenna observed.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but he’s still digging his talons into my face!”
Uchenna took the Jersey Devil under his forelegs and moved him to her lap. She stroked the thick fur that covered his bony head. He began to purr.
“Fascinating,” the professor said. “All day he has been sleeping under that chair. Never could I rouse him. I thought perhaps he had some laziness disorder.”
The Jersey Devil raised his head and growled at the professor.
“But perhaps he just missed you! Anywhat, I have received a message from a member of the Unicorn Rescue Society. I need your help.”
Uchenna sat up in her chair. Jersey sat up in Uchenna’s lap. But Elliot crossed his arms, narrowed his eyes, and said, “Professor, we’re not going to help you until you answer some questions. Uchenna and I feel very uncomfortable hanging out with a teacher in the basement after school, and not telling our parents about it. Not to mention breaking into the Schmoke brothers’ home! Speaking of which, tell us how you know them in the first pl—”
“NO!” Professor Fauna shouted.
Elliot and Uchenna stepped back, stunned.
The professor cleared his throat. “I mean . . . not now. Time is of the essence! A herensuge is missing!”
“A what?”
“A HAIR-en-SOO-gai! The dragon of the Basque Country!”
Uchenna and Elliot were momentarily stupefied. Finally, Uchenna stammered, “Isn’t the Basque Country in Europe?”
“Right! That’s why we have no time to lose!”
Elliot said, “You want us to go to Europe now?”
“Of course!”
“To rescue a dragon?”
“¡Mala palabra! Why are you suddenly so stupid? It is like your brains are moving through jars of honey! Yes! We must go to Europe, to rescue a dragon, now!”
The kids spoke at exactly the same time.
Elliot said, “Absolutely not.”
And Uchenna said, “Awesome.”