“Did I do something bad?” Jonah looked up at Zane with questioning eyes that expected an answer.
They sat at the kitchen table in Jeannette’s apartment, coloring a dinosaur in Jonah’s coloring book. Jeannette had disappeared into the bedroom to change clothes for her waitressing shift.
Zane’s answer was quick and decisive. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I should have told you to stay by my side. I should have warned you you could get hurt if you ran off the path.”
Tentatively, Jonah touched his chin. “Feels funny.”
“It’s going to and then it might hurt some.”
With a frown, Jonah started coloring again. “Gran says if I stay in the house, I won’t get hurt.”
Not wanting to step on anyone’s toes, yet knowing that overprotecting a child wasn’t good parenting, either, Zane asked, “Do you like staying in the house?”
After a shake of his head, Jonah gave Zane a sly smile. “I like lookin’ for elk.”
“Even though you got hurt?”
Jonah nodded. “Can we look again?”
Zane suddenly became aware of Jeannette who was now standing in the doorway. He wondered if she’d overheard their conversation. “Maybe you should ask your mom.”
Swiveling on his chair, Jonah faced her. “Can I, mom? I promise I won’t fall again.”
Jeannette cast a glance at Zane, then crouched down at her son’s chair so she was at his eye level. “I think looking for elk is a fun thing to do. But I think you might have scared Zane when you got hurt. If you go with him again, you have to promise to listen and not go running off.”
Jonah grinned at Zane. “I promise. Can we go?”
“After your stitches heal. Until then, we’ll find something quieter to do.”
Jonah thought about that, then slipped off the chair. “I’m gonna get another coloring book.”
As soon as Jonah left the kitchen, Zane stood and focused his full attention on Jeannette. Her shorts gave him a spectacular view of her long legs. Her slim waist and flat belly were revealed by the short, tight T-shirt. Feeling like one of the jerks who eyed her instead of the ribs at LipSmackin’, Zane lifted his gaze to her face. But that wasn’t much better. He was as turned on by the curve of her mouth and her beautiful blue eyes as the rest of her.
“You’ll let him go hiking with me again?” He was trying to concentrate on the conversation rather than the way she looked…and the way she made him feel. He’d shut down most of his feelings over the past few months and their reawakening was uncomfortable.
“I’m not like Edna,” she said. “I know I can’t keep Jonah in the house. That would only make him afraid when he does go outside. Ed wasn’t adventurous and I think his parents’ attitude was the reason.”
With Jonah returning any minute and Jeannette on her way to work, Zane didn’t probe more about her deceased fiancé. But he wanted to. He wanted to know how attached she still was to him.
Yet right now, with her within arm’s reach, alluring and sexy and with a look on her face as if she was hearing the same call of desire he was, he asked somewhat provocatively, “Are you adventurous?”
Sparkles of amusement danced in her eyes. “Are you asking if I’d like to go hiking again to spot elk?”
Overcome by a need to touch her that was too palpable to resist, he reached out and pushed her bangs to the side, teasing himself and her. “Spotting elk…snowboarding…skydiving.”
“You jumped out of a plane?”
He gave her a grin and a half shrug. “A few years ago. It was a stunt to raise money for charity. Then I did it again a few months later, just for the heck of it.”
“We are so different,” she murmured. “I might try snowboarding but never skydiving.”
“Even if you could skydive with a partner who promised to keep you safe?”
Although they were speaking hypothetically, both understood the subtext. “I’m a mom,” she responded, serious now. “I’m not sure a promise would be enough.”
What would be enough? he wondered. A forever commitment that he’d take care of Jonah, too?
He was sinking in way too deep…reading too much into a simple conversation. Still, he couldn’t let it go. “How would you feel if I introduced Jonah to skateboarding, including, of course, the helmet, elbow and knee pads? Would you try it, too?”
“I might. You’re determined to make me face the adventures he might want to have.”
Actually, he was imagining the three of them experiencing life to its fullest. Yet he had only known this woman for two weeks. He must be certifiable. “I’m just imagining how cute you’d look in a snowboarding or skateboarding helmet.”
“Cute? Not sexy?” she joked.
Didn’t she know how sexy she was? How much he wanted her? His voice grew gruff as he let some of that wanting through to his voice into his words. “In that outfit, you’re as sexy as I can ever imagine you’d be.”
As she studied him, he wondered if he was giving too much away. “Zane,” she said, her lips parting, her body leaning toward his.
“I wish you’d quit your job at the rib joint. I could have Dillon make a few calls. His brother Ethan opened an office in Thunder Canyon. Maybe he could use you.”
With a sigh, Jeannette took a step away from him. “Do you think waitressing is beneath me?”
He wanted to shout, Don’t you? Instead, he responded tersely, “I told you my mother was a waitress.” As if that wasn’t enough, he added, “But as I mentioned, she waitressed at a family diner. I don’t think waitressing is beneath you, but I believe LipSmackin’ Ribs is.”
A conflicted look passed over Jeannette’s face. Zane thought it stemmed from the fact that she felt trapped by circumstances. Averting her gaze from his, she glanced down the hall to her son’s room.
Finally she admitted, “LipSmackin’ Ribs isn’t where I’d choose to work if I had other choices. But I don’t want you making another call on my behalf. You did that with Erika. I accepted you doing it because you felt responsible for me losing the cleaning position, which you weren’t. And I really loved the idea of working on Frontier Days with her. But I don’t want you to do it again. If I find out Ethan Traub has a position open, I’ll apply. But any job I get, I want to win on my own merit.”
“Miss Independence is raising her head again,” he muttered.
This time Jeannette apparently couldn’t keep from touching him. Her hand clasped his arm. Her fingers seemed to take slow pleasure in surrounding the muscles there. “I was on my own early…after my mom died. Then I met Ed and for the most part, we depended on each other. But then he had to take on the burden of me not working and of preparing for a family. During that time I felt as if I was letting him down.”
“You weren’t,” Zane assured her swiftly. “When tough times happen, you have to let the person who loves you hold you up.”
“Maybe,” she gave in with a sigh. “But then I let Mel and Edna take over where Ed left off. The past few months, I’ve been able to stand on my own and take care of Jonah. My job at LipSmackin’ Ribs enables me to do that. Knowing I can stand on my own gives me self-confidence and the feeling my world isn’t out of control. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” he answered grudgingly. “But I still don’t have to like that rib joint.” He found it hard to think at all when she was touching him.
He was almost relieved when Jonah scampered back into the kitchen, a coloring book waving in one hand. “I found it. We can color airplanes.”
“So he’s thinking about being a pilot someday?” Zane asked under his breath.
Jeannette released his arm, then gave him a poke there. “Don’t even think it.”
Crossing to the cupboard, she stood on tiptoe to reach the highest shelf. She took down a safety-capped bottle with grape-flavored liquid. “Dillon said to give Jonah one-and-a-half teaspoons every four hours if his chin hurts.” She studied her son as he sat at the table and opened the coloring book. “He doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable yet. Are you sure you’ll be okay? He might not be able to get to sleep—”
“Stop worrying,” Zane said firmly. “We’ll be fine.”
“For dinner—”
“I saw ground meat in the fridge. Jonah and I will experiment.”
“Ex-pariment?” Jonah asked.
“Yep. You and I might come up with a new recipe. Maybe barbecued chili burgers. DJ might even put it on his menu.”
When Jeannette frowned, he quickly added, “Or whatever Jonah likes. Call whenever you want to make sure we’re good.”
The frown slipped away, but Jeannette’s gaze was troubled. Still, she gave her son a hug and a kiss, then went to the door. “Thank you,” she said fervently.
As he waved and she left, Zane knew he was the one who should be thanking her. Without her and Jonah, he’d be at his log house, sunk into his troubled thoughts, eating alone.
That night Jeannette unlocked the door to her apartment and let herself in, hearing the television playing in the living room. The light in the stove hood glowed as well as the one next to the sofa in the living room. She liked the feel of someone already being there.
Today at the clinic when Jonah had asked for Zane to hold his hand, she’d almost lost it! She’d hated to see her son hurting. But the comfort he’d drawn from Zane had been inspiring. He needed a man like Zane in his life. The problem was, Thunder Canyon was merely a stopover for Zane.
To her surprise, when she entered the living room, she found Jonah slouched against Zane, his head tucked against Zane’s chest. Her gaze found his. They both knew it was well past Jonah’s bedtime.
Zane kept his voice low. “You look wiped out.”
She was. Her feet hurt and she felt ready to collapse into bed. Yet seeing Zane in her living room seemed to give her a second wind.
“I didn’t think my shift would ever end,” she admitted. “How did Jonah do?”
“He was a trouper. After dinner he seemed more uncomfortable. I distracted him with games until I saw he was tiring. Then I read to him until he fell asleep. I thought he might wake up when you came home, but I think he’s out for the night. Do you want me to carry him to his room?”
“You’ve done so much already—”
Zane gave her a look that silenced her and scooped up her son. “Are you hungry?”
“A little.” She followed him to Jonah’s bedroom. “I’ll get something after I tuck him in.”
While she arranged Jonah’s spread and then covered him, she smelled food warming. She thought again how nice it was to come home to…
Not just to any man, but to Zane.
Jeannette stood looking down at Jonah for a long while, wondering what was best for him, wondering what was best for her.
She took a few minutes to slip out of her restaurant clothes, pulling on a pair of pink-and-black drawstring lounging pants and a pink T-shirt. She left her feet bare. Zane was waiting for her in the living room with a plate of warmed-up food on the coffee table and a tall glass of iced tea.
She sank down beside him on the sofa. “This looks great. I didn’t think I was hungry, but now that I smell it—”
“Dig in. Jonah and I called it barbecued chili.”
She smiled and took a bite. “You two will have to come up with recipes more often.” As soon as she said it, she wished she hadn’t. Cutting him a sideways glance, she saw he appeared to be unfazed.
“Did you expect me to protest?” he asked.
After another forkful of the barbecued chili, she wiped her mouth. “I didn’t know if the day might have been trying for you. Some days Jonah has so many questions for me that I’m worried about a time when I won’t be able to hand him the answers.”
“That day will come, but not for a while. How was work?”
“Each shift is pretty much the same.” She took a few sips of her iced tea. “Do you know Dillon’s cousin DJ very well?”
“I haven’t spent a lot of time with him, but he seems like an okay guy. Why?”
“I just wondered how approachable he is.”
“Approachable? I don’t get it. Are you thinking about asking him for a job?”
“Oh, no. No.” She knew she was being a little too vehement. She wished she could tell Zane what Woody had wanted her to do. But Zane was the type of man who would want to do something about it and she just couldn’t risk her job right now…or Jonah’s insurance. So instead of answering the question in Zane’s eyes, she looked toward the TV screen.
There was a twang of a guitar and it caught Zane’s attention, too. Then the host of whatever show it was was saying, “Country music is still trying to recover from the death of a fan in April at a Zane Gunther concert. Earlier tonight we showed a clip of Max Landow interviewing the Tuller family. Ashley Tuller’s parents are still setting the blame at the door of the country singer.”
Jeannette said quickly, “Zane, we don’t have to watch this.” She went for the remote that was sitting in front of him on the coffee table.
But he stole it out of her hand. “Maybe I need a reality check,” he muttered, turning up the volume, staring at the couple as well as Ashley’s nineteen-year-old sister, Tania, who was pale and seemed subdued.
Tears were running down Mrs. Tuller’s face. “Mr. Gunther just won’t take responsibility for what happened to Ashley. It’s his fault she was there. It’s his fault all those kids weren’t kept in line. And then he just drove off in that expensive bus as if what happened didn’t matter!”
The host of the show came back on. “That about sums up the family’s sentiment. As far as what the rest of the world thinks, all we have to do is check out the latest tabloid.”
Zane switched off the TV. “I thought it all would have died down. But with the Country Music Awards coming up in November, and then the trial, I’d better prepare myself.”
Jeannette moved closer to him until her arm was brushing his. “Her family is still wrong, Zane.”
“I’m not blaming them. This was my fault. But I think we’ve handled it all wrong. Lawyers talking to lawyers, media interviewing my closest friends, my mother, anybody they can get their hands on. Everybody uses the cameras on their cell phone now or one of those little video cameras to try and catch you doing something wrong. The fishbowl celebrities live in somehow got magnified.”
He studied the TV, the picture black now. “I have to figure out the right thing to do.”
“You’ll figure it out. I know you will. Sometimes you need more information. Sometimes you just need more time.”
“Time is what you’re giving me, Jeannette—time away from all of it. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. Taking care of Jonah today wasn’t a chore at all. I felt for the first time in a few months that I was actually doing something worthwhile.”
She could see he was trying to put that interview out of his mind. He was trying to move on to different conversational territory.
Suddenly, he bent down, picked up her legs and swung them up onto his lap, her feet resting on his thighs. “Do you know what I think you need?”
“I’m afraid to ask,” she answered shakily, his warm fingers sending tingles through her, the feel of his powerful thigh muscles under her feet arousing every womanly nerve in her body.
“Besides a good meal, which I’ve obviously given you, you need a foot rub.”
One of his hands gently supported the underside of her foot while the other stroked across the top. His touch felt like heaven. Still, she managed to say, “We could talk about what you’re thinking.”
“Or we don’t have to talk about what I’m thinking. Or we can move on to what I’m thinking next.”
The simmering heat in his gaze was enough to make her forget about whatever they had been talking about. He was so good, so practiced, she suddenly felt like a fool and would have swung her feet from his lap but he caught them. “Tonight I have special powers,” he announced. “I can read minds.”
She knew her expression became wary.
Placing one hand on top of each of her feet, he said seriously, “You’re thinking I give all my dates foot rubs.”
“Don’t you?”
“I’ve never had a date who was a waitress before. So, no, I don’t. You would be the first. This would be a virgin foot rub.”
She laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Yet that was exactly what she’d been getting at. She plunged in, maybe taking their discussion farther than he wanted to go. “Was Beth Ann your first?”
He didn’t seem to mind her asking. “My first, and I thought she’d be my only. How about you? Who was your first?”
Zane’s question told her he wanted to delve deeper into her past, too. “His name was Drake and I liked him a lot. We were seniors on the same committee for the homecoming dance. He wanted to go to an Ivy League college and be a lawyer. I knew if I let myself fall in love with him, he’d leave and break my heart. I decided not to fall in love, but that didn’t work too well, especially when he asked me to the homecoming dance…especially when Valentine’s Day came and went with a giant flowery card. But then it was the end of senior year. We knew holding on to the feelings we had weren’t enough to build a future on, so he left and I stayed.”
“And he never looked back?”
“Nope. I guess it didn’t seem so unusual to me. After all, that’s what my father had done. My parents were never married. He moved out when I was six and we never heard from him again.”
“Jeannette.”
Zane’s hands were cupping her feet now, his thumbs stroking her arches. When had a man done something so incredibly nice for her? Except, nice wasn’t exactly nice. Nice was turning into very sensual. His fingers were slipping across her instep, making her sigh.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“It feels wonderful.”
His thumbs inched up toward her ankles, brushed aside the hem of her slacks. Her breath began coming in short, shallow pants when she imagined where else he might touch.
“Why don’t you swing around and let me massage your shoulders?” he asked. “They have to be tired after carrying those heavy trays.”
They were. But she’d accepted the tiredness and the aches as part of the life she was trying to carve out for her and Jonah. She opened her eyes and when she looked at Zane, he was studying her, as if he was trying to figure out something. What he should do next? What she might do next?
The idea of having his hands on her shoulders sounded like heaven. She didn’t hesitate, but rather scooted down the couch and shifted around until her back was facing him.
“Let’s start with your neck.” His fingers swung her hair to one side, then ruffled gently through it. He ran his thumbs along either side of her hairline and eased down her nape, applying some pressure. She felt her muscles relax and the knots melt under his hands.
“You could have a second career,” she breathed.
He chuckled and as he massaged her upper arms, she went completely still under his ministrations. She was lost in the pure comfort of his touch when she felt his lips against her nape. Comfort transformed into desire.
“Zane,” she whispered.
He kissed her again. “I’ve wanted to do this since last night when you were sitting by the fire. Your profile was so perfectly beautiful. I imagined kissing your neck, having my arms around you, having you relax against me so we could enjoy more than our hurried embrace or a quick kiss.”
“Jonah could still wake up.”
“I know. But just for a little while I’d like to have you to myself.”
She knew exactly what Zane meant.
He drew her onto his lap and held her, cradled against him. “I guess I want an old-fashioned make-out session.”
She didn’t know exactly how old-fashioned their make-out session might be, but as she ran the tips of her fingers through Zane’s hair and drew his head down to hers, she knew she was going to enjoy it.
Zane’s kiss flared with passion right from the start. His hunger wasn’t a surprise, but her response to it was. She clasped his shoulders and revved up the kiss even wilder than it already was. Her fingers curled into his muscles and she remembered exactly how he’d looked while swinging the ax, while lifting Jonah, while throwing a football. Without his shirt he’d look even better.
He broke the kiss, trailed his lips to her earlobe, took it into his mouth. She felt the live-wire connection deeply and she couldn’t ever remember wanting a man so badly before. While she drowned in all the sensations he was evoking, he slid his hand under her T-shirt. His fingers on her midriff were a temptation she didn’t want to fight.
He unhooked the front clasp of her bra and pressed his palm to her breast. She moved breathlessly, kissed his neck, started to unbutton his shirt when he whisked his thumb over one of her nipples. Laying her head against his chest, she reveled in the excruciating anticipation of desire. They kissed again, their foreplay intensifying. She told herself she wanted to feel his skin, too. She wanted to feel his chest hair against her cheek. But he was doing such wonderfully arousing things to her that she couldn’t put thoughts into action until…
Until Zane pulled the drawstring open on her slacks. When he did that and rippled his fingers along her waistband, the imprint of his thumb erotically singeing just below her navel, their desire became so real that she couldn’t pretend this was a fantasy. Worry and doubt invaded the room and suddenly she knew she couldn’t take this further. She couldn’t let Zane take this further.
She didn’t have to pull away or say anything.
“What’s wrong?” The question came out low and tense, as if he knew something would be.
“I didn’t mean to be a tease,” she murmured.
After he took a few deep breaths, he removed his hands from under her T-shirt. He still cradled her, still kept his arm around her, but his expression said he knew their make-out session had ended, not just for the moment, but for the night.
“You’re no tease, Jeannette. I started this. But you stopped it. Can you tell me why?”
“I have to wonder—Is this the reason you took care of Jonah? Is this the reason you stayed?”
“Would I be sitting here if we wanted to discuss the weather? Probably. But I’d have something else on my mind. From the way you reacted when I kissed you, I think you had something else on your mind, too.”
She couldn’t deny needing him or wanting to lead him to her bedroom. “I did. When I saw you, I forgot about work and how tired I was. And for a few minutes just now, I even forgot about Jonah being in the next room. That’s what scares me. That’s why I stopped. That’s why I have to ask, am I an escape from everything you’re trying to forget?”
She could see him asking himself the question. She could feel his defenses go up and sense his backing away. He was a man in turmoil and that’s what prompted her to be exceptionally careful.
Seeing from his expression their intimacy was done, she awkwardly shifted off his lap to the sofa. She sat beside him, wanting more than anything for him to deny that she was an escape. But he wasn’t doing that. Instead, he was already pushing to the edge of the cushion. He was already gathering himself together to leave.
Isn’t that what men did? a little voice asked her. “I have to know why you’re here with me, Zane. I don’t want to just be a distraction.”
Standing, he flicked his gaze toward the TV, as it reminded them both so harshly what was going on in the real world. Then without responding to her request, he said, “I’d better leave.”
“Do you always walk away from discussions you don’t want to have?” Ed had done the same thing over and over again, and she’d let him.
“I didn’t take care of Jonah today hoping I’d get laid tonight. Is that what you want to hear?” he demanded gruffly.
Maybe that was part of what she wanted to hear.
“How long are you going to stay in Thunder Canyon?” she asked.
Her question was also met with silence.
Zane went into the kitchen and picked up his hat, which was lying in front of her stack of cookbooks on the counter.
“I didn’t want tonight to end like this.” She knew he wouldn’t appreciate her thanking him again.
“Neither did I.”
Had he expected her to sleep with him? Would he have left before morning? What would Jonah think about the two of them being together?
But that was the crux of it. Would they be together? Or would they just have spent the night together?
He saw she still had questions, but he was in obvious conflict and couldn’t give her answers.
“I’ll be in touch,” he said quietly. Then he left.
Jeannette crossed her arms over her chest as if she could hold herself together by doing that. Yet she knew if she spent much more time with this man, he’d break her heart in a much more elemental way than any man ever had.
The following night Zane picked up his new SAT phone that had been a courier delivery, not knowing whether it was a wonderful invention or a terrible one. Sometimes a man just wanted to be incommunicado. However, he’d learned how well that had turned out yesterday when Jonah had injured himself. For the past twenty-four hours he’d stewed about what had happened at Jeannette’s last night. Part of him felt as if he’d taken advantage of her. Day by day he was getting in deeper with her. But he couldn’t seem to stop. She was intelligent and challenging, and so pretty that her smile had the power to blind him. Maybe he liked her most because she stood up to him. One of the major drawbacks about being a celebrity, although not many would admit it, was having too many people saying what you wanted to hear, doing what you wanted them to do. Jeannette was her own person. She took him into consideration, but she wasn’t buffaloed by him. His celebrity didn’t impress her. That had irked his ego. That had humbled him.
Thank goodness something had.
Jeannette Williams confronted him and made him confront himself. That’s why he’d walked away. Because he’d needed to find some answers for them both. Not that he had a whole lot of them now, but—
He’d written her work and home numbers on a piece of paper and attached it to his refrigerator door with a magnet in the shape of the state of Montana. He punched in the numbers, hoping she wouldn’t hang up on him.
She answered on the second ring with a tentative, “Hello.”
“It’s Zane.”
“I didn’t recognize the number.”
“I got a SAT phone, just in case I’d want to babysit again.”
Silence met his attempt at levity.
He cleared his throat. “So, are you still speaking to me?”
After a moment she responded, “Of course. After all, I’m the one who wanted to talk.”
He couldn’t fault her for making that point. “Is Jonah asleep?”
“Yes.”
An uncomfortable silence settled between them again and he knew he had to be the one to break it. “When’s your next night off?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Good. At least it’s good if you and Jonah will spend it with me.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“The movies—a family flick that should be just right for all of us.”
“You’re not concerned someone will recognize you?”
“Not the way we’re going to do this. I’ll give you a call tomorrow and tell you where I want you to meet me. You’ll just have to trust me. Okay?”
There was only a slight hesitation. “Okay.”
“What time do you work tomorrow?”
“I work the lunch shift. I should be finished around four.”
“I’ll have everything worked out by the time you’re off work. I’ll call you then.”
“Should I tell Jonah about this? He’ll be excited if I do.”
“Sure, tell him. It’s always good to have something to look forward to. One thing I’m sure of, Jeannette, I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.”
“I am, too.”
Although Zane didn’t want to say goodbye, he did. Tomorrow night Jeannette would get just a small taste of how he lived his life. Maybe her reaction to it would tell him what he needed to know. Her reaction might tell him if he needed to end this now, or take a chance on what came next.