On Thursday afternoon Zane opened the door for Dillon, then shut it against the prying eyes of reporters, against the possibility of long lenses on cameras, against the almost constant presence of the news vans parked outside. Well, not right outside. They were all gathered down at the bottom of the lane where the property began.
Dillon looked as if he’d been through a war. “Do you know how hard it was to convince your security team I’m a friend of yours? Haven’t you convinced Roscoe to come back?”
“Not yet. I’m working on it.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to call. Are you going to tell me what happened with Jeannette?” Dillon demanded, obviously offended by Zane’s silence.
“Don’t you believe the papers?” Zane returned with his Texas drawl. “I rescued her from a bad situation and was found out.”
“Like I believe that was the whole story. In her comments she didn’t even admit she knew you.”
“She’s smart. That was the best thing for both of us.”
Zane sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs, expressionless and stoic. His thoughts and feelings were in a jumble. He was more upset about what had happened with Jeannette than the chaos outside and that baffled him.
“You’re saying the words, but I don’t think you’re believing them.” Dillon pulled out another chair and squarely faced his friend. “Jeannette was over at the house this morning and she wouldn’t talk about what happened, not even with Erika. They’re working like crazy to get everything finished up for Frontier Days tomorrow. She looked like she hadn’t slept. She said she and Jonah stayed at Edna and Mel Lambert’s the past two nights.”
So that’s where she’d gone. He hadn’t been able to get hold of her. The bodyguard brigade he’d sent to her apartment said no one had gone in or out. Zane had assumed she just didn’t want to talk to him, so he hadn’t left a message on her machine. When he talked to her again, it had to be in person. Still, he wasn’t sure what he was going to say.
“You don’t look any better than she does,” Dillon informed him with a bit of satisfaction.
“Something must be going around,” Zane jibed.
“Knock off the I-don’t-care attitude, Zane. I know you too well. What happened to cause this storm?”
A storm certainly was a good name for it. He felt as if he was being torn in two, by his feelings for Jeannette and the life he had to deal with. So, after considerable deliberation he spilled to Dillon the entire story of what had happened.
Dillon’s expression changed as Zane ran through the events—an arched brow, a frown, a why-didn’t-you-know-better look. But to his credit, he kept quiet.
“I tried to give the guys tailing me a run for their money and finally lost them. But by then someone had texted a picture to so-and-so who knew so-and-so who got in touch with so-and-so. They eventually found out I rented this place. I should have used a fake name.”
“And Jeannette?”
Zane threw his hands up in the air. “She hasn’t called. She hasn’t tried to reach me.”
That’s when Dillon gave his assessment of the situation. “And why would she? Zane, what possessed you to think you could control anything she did? You had no right to tell her boss she was quitting, let alone drag her out of the restaurant. I’ll bet she’s never been so furious with anyone. What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t thinking! Okay? I was seeing everything we’d done the night before. All I had to do was shut my eyes and picture her. I could feel her hands on me again.” He swore vociferously. “Dammit, Dillon, I can’t get her out of my head. I haven’t been able to since I met her. And after having sex with her—”
This time both of Dillon’s brows arched. “Are you sure those are the words you want to use? Because that could be the whole problem here.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Yet the niggling inroads Jeannette had made into Zane’s heart told him that wasn’t true.
“Did you simply have sex with Jeannette Williams? Was she a one-week stand, a one-month stand? If that’s true, I can’t quite get why you were so upset when you saw another man’s hand on her arm.”
“He was threatening her.”
“Was he? Or was he just trying to get close to her? Was it any of your business?”
“He wasn’t fit to wipe her feet.”
“In your mind, which is my point exactly.”
Zane stood and paced the room, raked his hand through his hair, turned his thoughts every which way until he had to admit the obvious. “I felt she was my woman.”
“And you were jealous.”
“Hell, yes, I was jealous! And I was angry. He had no right to touch her. She needed somebody to protect her. She needed someone to tell this scumbag that what he was doing was wrong.”
“And you would have done this for any woman?”
Again he thought about it. “I might have done it for any woman, but I probably wouldn’t have felt what I felt with any woman.”
Dillon didn’t have to make a point again.
“What am I supposed to do?” Zane practically yelled in frustration. “What woman wants to put up with this? Beth Ann didn’t. And Jeannette has a son. How could we ever protect him?”
“There are lots of celebrities who have children. If you have the right security and you live in the right place, you can enjoy an almost-normal life. You know that, Zane. So why are you fighting this so hard?”
“She’s special, Dillon. She doesn’t deserve what the press would do to her.”
“They might love her. They might see this as a Cinderella story…if that’s what we’re talking about here. What do you feel for Jeannette Williams?”
Zane was silent. He couldn’t put into words what he felt for Jeannette. Not to Dillon anyway.
“Tell me something, Zane. You’ve made this decision on your own, that Jeannette can’t or won’t want to handle your lifestyle. Have you ever asked her?”
“It’s never gotten that far. It’s not as if we were serious.”
“Weren’t you?” Dillon shot back quickly. “Weren’t you serious from the beginning? You knew she had a son. You bonded with her little boy. You went after her as if she was too special to let go. What wasn’t serious about it?”
“I’ve been through this before, Dillon.”
“Years ago. And Beth Ann was young.”
“Jeannette’s not much older.”
“There’s a world of difference between the two of them and you know that.” The two men stared at each other.
Finally Dillon relented with the questions. “Zane, I know what happens when you’re not in a relationship. You’re alone, and you get used to being alone. Suddenly someone comes along, and you have to be a little flexible, you have to change the way you do this or the way you think that. You wonder if it’s worth it. But then you see her smile, and you know it is. I never imagined I’d find happiness again because for so long I felt unworthy of love. You’re the one who helped me realize I couldn’t continually punish myself and live in the past. You’re the one who gave me the kick in the butt that I needed. And now I’m here to return the favor. What kind of tribute is it to Ashley Tuller’s young life if you continue to live a hermitlike existence?”
At that last question Zane felt his face go pale. That was one question he’d never asked himself. Now might be the right time to do it.
Without waiting for Zane to get his footing again, Dillon stood.
“You’re leaving?” Zane asked.
“I don’t think I’m the one you want to see. I think you have some heart-and-soul wrestling to do with yourself and I’ll only get in the way. But I do think you need to listen to the lyrics of your song, the one that will probably win an accolade at the Country Music Awards in November, whether or not you’re there. Get out your iPod and listen to ‘Movin’ On,’ Zane. Movin’ on from the heartache into the sunshine. That’s what you need to do. You have my number if you need me…or Erika. She’d love to see you back at Frontier Days.”
“Don’t push,” Zane growled.
“Someone has to.” And on those last words, Dillon left the house.
Dillon had left a legacy of words, and Zane thought about each and every one of them. He paced the kitchen and then went to the living room and paced there, too. He deliberated on Jeannette’s comments to the newspaper. Had she been trying to protect him? Did she believe she didn’t really know him? A little over three weeks. He’d met her three and a half weeks ago. Yet in some ways he felt as if he’d known her for a lifetime. In others, he wanted each day to be a new exploration of her and the life they could have together.
The life they could have together.
Had he just had sex with her? No, he had made love to her. Their joining Sunday night had been mind-boggling. Something gnawed at his memory, something Jeannette had said. Right before she’d left his SUV she’d tossed at him—“You didn’t even tell me what last night meant to you.”
No, he hadn’t because he’d felt too much and he hadn’t wanted her to know it. But now, he knew exactly how he felt about her. If he ever could sing again, he’d want to sing only to her. That’s the phrase that had been going through his head ever since they’d made love the first time. Singin’ only to you. Just to you.
He walked from the kitchen to the foot of the stairs and peered up into the gathering darkness of the loft. He didn’t know what he was going to do about Ashley Tuller’s family and the trial. But he did know he had to do something to get him on solid footing with Jeannette again, at least long enough for him to ask her one very important question. Did she want to stand by him?
Because he wanted to stand by her.
He loved her.
With that confession ringing in his heart, he mounted the stairs. In the loft he picked up his guitar and held it, hoping something would come.
The big blue-and-white-striped tent was emptying of the people who had come to the fairgrounds to watch the Miss Frontier Days pageant on Saturday. Jeannette had overseen most of it and was gathering up errant score sheets for the contestants when she spotted Erika approaching her.
“How did it go?” Erika asked.
“It went off without a hitch. With the talent competition in the early afternoon and the evening gown competition finishing up before dinner, we had an even bigger crowd to announce the winner. Laila Gates won Miss Frontier Days hands-down. I heard she received three marriage proposals!” Jeannette felt a gnawing ache in her heart when she said it with more enthusiasm than she felt. Marriage proposals weren’t anything to joke about. Then she wondered if any of Laila’s suitors had been serious.
Relationships were serious. But now she just had to concentrate on being a good mother to Jonah. Today Erika had suggested he play with Emilia while her mom watched them both. Jeannette had liked that idea and so had Jonah. Her affair with Zane might have tanked, but she’d made a great friend in Erika.
Suddenly Jeannette spotted a couple gathered in a group near the back of the tent. DJ Traub and his wife, Allaire.
Erika said, “I can take the score sheets. I’m going to have to drive back into town in a while to tie up loose ends with some business owners.”
A little anxious about what she was going to do, but knowing she had to do it, Jeannette asked Erika, “Do you have a few minutes to wait? I need to talk to DJ Traub.”
“Sure, go ahead. Then I’ll tell you what I’ve lined up next for you. By the way, I was speaking to Bo Clifton earlier today and he said he’s looking for an administrative assistant. You might want to give him a call.”
“Just call the mayor?” Jeannette asked, a bit surprised.
“Bo’s a great guy. I gave him your name, so if you call he’ll know who you are.”
“You’re a real friend, Erika. Thank you.”
“I know what a hard worker you are, and a detail-oriented person. You’d be great in Bo’s office.”
“I’ll call him as soon as I get a chance.”
Erika handed Jeannette Bo’s business card. “He said you can call his cell phone. Now go talk to DJ, then I’ll give you your schedule for this evening.”
During Frontier Days, Jeannette was Erika’s Girl Friday, going where she was needed. Thank goodness Erika had kept her busy this week. Even so, Zane was constantly on her mind and in her heart. Her heart hurt every time she thought about the way she’d reacted to what he’d done. Still, she really hadn’t had a chance with him. That’s what hurt her most, especially when she thought about giving her body and heart to him when they’d made love.
She should have known better, she really should have.
DJ and his wife were an attractive couple. Allaire recognized her immediately and smiled broadly. “Hi. It’s good to see you again.”
Jeannette felt the same warmth from Allaire that she’d felt at the restaurant the other night. Allaire introduced her to DJ and Jeannette took the plunge. “Can I talk to you a minute? There’s something you need to know about your competition.”
DJ’s face filled with curiosity. “Sure. Let’s move over here.” He and Allaire went with her to a quiet corner of the tent.
Without hesitation Jeannette told him what Woody had wanted her to do and why she hadn’t come to him sooner.
“I understand,” DJ assured her. “You needed the job and the insurance. I’m grateful for you telling me now. I’ll look at anyone we’ve hired lately carefully. At least I know to watch out for moles. Did you find another job yet?”
“Not yet, though I do have another prospect.”
“Well, if it doesn’t pan out, you can come work for me.”
“How do you know you can trust me?” Jeannette asked honestly.
“Because Allaire told me about your dinner with Zane. He wouldn’t go to all that trouble for someone who wasn’t trustworthy.”
Jeannette felt as if her heart were going to break in two. Her throat tightened and for a moment she was close to tears. Then she quickly composed herself. “Thank you for the offer. I really appreciate it. I’d better get back to Erika and the rest of my duties for Frontier Days.”
Erika had been talking to someone, but finished her conversation when Jeannette approached. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s great. If the job offer with the mayor doesn’t work out, DJ will hire me. Now, what would you like me to do next?”
“I think you’ll enjoy this assignment. I’d like you to check in on the local talent performing at the arena. Kayla Johnston who organized the day with the singers and the band is doing a great job. But I just want you to make sure the end of it goes smoothly.”
“This sounds like an easy assignment,” Jeannette said, although listening to music, especially if it was country, would remind her of Zane.
“This is the last thing I want you to do today, so you’re free afterward. You’ve done a great job, Jeannette. You really have.”
Ten minutes later Erika’s words warmed Jeannette as she walked to the concert theater in the cool evening air. Frontier Days attendees milled about and she waved to a couple of people she knew. She’d dressed in her black leggings and a turquoise sweater for her chores today, but had left her coat in her car. She could hardly believe it was the first day of October and winter was just around the corner.
Jeannette made her way through the front parking lot of the fairgrounds arena, ran up the steps and saw one of the front doors was propped open. Several people were flowing out and she waited, then went inside. The arena was cavernous for a town the size of Thunder Canyon. But the resort drew in its share of tourists and when the town attracted a headliner, they needed the seats here. The band on the stage was strumming and a brunette was singing her heart out. That’s what singers did. They sang what was in their heart. That’s what Zane couldn’t do anymore.
She had to forget about Zane for the time being, although she didn’t know how she was going to do that. Just listening to the bands and singers would bring back everything she knew about him, everything she’d found when she’d searched his name on the internet.
To her surprise, she saw Dillon standing at the last row. He was on his cell phone. That seemed odd because most people would go outside to take calls with the music loud in the background. However, when he saw her, he hooked his phone back into the holster on his belt and beckoned to her.
The downstairs at the arena was about half-filled, listeners sporadically dotting the seats. He smiled at her and when she reached his side, he said, “I was just talking to Erika. She said if I saw you, we should go up and sit in the front row.”
Puzzled, Jeannette walked beside Dillon. He glanced at her every once in a while to make sure she was following. The front row was filled except for two seats at the very center, as if someone had saved them just for her and Dillon.
Jeannette settled herself in one of the seats with Dillon beside her just as the band finished their number. After a few minutes to set up, she knew the next group would be coming out. The curtain closed…and she waited.
Zane had never been more nervous in his entire life. Not even when he performed in front of thousands of people. He was going to be taking the biggest risk he’d ever taken. But it was time to open up his life again. It was time to confront whatever came his way and deal with it the best he could. It was time to tell Jeannette exactly how he felt.
This was about Jeannette, and him, and Jonah and the family they could form. He couldn’t be concerned about the audience and how they might react to him. If they booed, they booed. The tabloids had stirred things up, so had the interview shows, and he really didn’t know if his fans would stand behind him. But this was for Jeannette, not only to tell her how he felt, but to make a public statement that they were together.
At least he hoped they’d be together.
Stepping from behind the wings where he’d been keeping a low profile, he knew the days of doing that were over. He settled his guitar strap over his shoulder, went to the center of the curtain, then waited for it to go up.
When the crowd recognized him, there was startled silence. Then someone shouted, “That’s Zane Gunther!”
What happened next filled Zane’s heart with the promise that his music mattered. Someone in the audience stood and clapped, and then others followed. Soon the whole audience was on their feet applauding.
But he didn’t care about the whole audience. He only cared about the woman directly in front of him. She was standing now, too, and clapping hard.
Zane held up his hands for the audience to stop, but they only clapped harder. Taking the microphone from its stand, he walked out to the very edge of the stage.
He held up his hand again, then said, “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
The clapping stopped and the audience went quiet. They took their seats, not knowing what to expect.
“You might all start booing because I’m not here for a concert.”
There were murmurs and someone called, “Sing ‘Movin’ On.’”
Zane gazed down at Jeannette and she gazed back. She didn’t look away.
He said into the mic, “For now, I’m here to sing to only one person, and she’s sitting in the middle of the front row. I’m not going to do this with a mic because this song is just for her. I’m hoping it will mean as much for her to hear it as it did for me to write it.”
He left the microphone in its stand and hurried down the side steps to where Jeannette was seated. Standing in front of her, his throat tightened up and his mouth went dry. But then he took a deep breath, thought about what this meant and began strumming. The chords came easily. The words he’d written and worried over the past few days leaped from his heart into the air. He began:
I’m singin’ to you, only you.
I’m missin’ you, only you.
I’m regretting everything I couldn’t say and what I did wrong.
I’m sorry for being blind and thinking I was strong.
You were afraid to give your heart because I didn’t understand.
You needed the safety of my love and an outstretched hand.
I’m reaching out to you, hoping you’ll hear love in my song.
Because I mean to be yours through my whole life long.
So now I’m singing just to you for the rest of my life.
I’m singin’ only to you, if you’ll just be my wife.
If you’ll just be my wife.
There were tears in Jeannette’s eyes and one rolled down her cheek.
Zane had to make sure she understood exactly what he was doing. His fingers left the strings. “The name of the song,” he explained, “is ‘Singin’ Only to You.’ That’s what I’m doing today. And in that song, if you didn’t quite hear it, was something I don’t usually put in my songs. So just to make sure you understood—”
He swung off his guitar and handed it to Dillon. At the same time he spotted Erika in the side aisle holding Jonah’s hand. Jeannette’s son was wearing the cowboy hat Zane had given him.
Then Zane knelt down on one knee in front of Jeannette, took her hands in his and asked, “Will you marry me, Jeannette Williams? In the past month I’ve learned what it means not to be lonely. In the past month I’ve learned what it means to let somebody into my heart. I want you to stay there always. Will you marry me and make a life with me no matter where that takes us?”
Her tears were really flowing now and he could feel wetness gathering in his own eyes because she was smiling at him, and looking at him with as much love as he felt for her.
“Yes, I’ll marry you,” she answered surely. “Wherever you go, Jonah and I will go. And we’ll make a life together.”
Out of his shirt pocket, Zane pulled a heart-shaped diamond ring and slipped it on her finger. The stage lights created rainbows in it as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
The whole audience was on its feet now, trying to see and hear. But Zane was oblivious to them because he was kissing Jeannette and the applause all around them was simply a backdrop to his murmured “I love you” when he broke away.
“I love you, too, Zane Gunther,” Jeannette assured him. Then she added, “Both the country singer and the man.”
He kissed her again, not knowing what was going to come next, but looking forward to having Jeannette beside him whatever it was.
Late that night Zane’s arm circled Jeannette’s waist as he peered over her head into one of his guest bedrooms where Jonah was sound asleep. “I think he likes it here,” Zane joked, hoping that was true.
“He does. I can tell. And he’s happy we’re getting married.”
“So am I,” Zane easily agreed. “I want to be a real dad to him. You know that, don’t you?”
She caressed his face. “I do.”
He felt such a rush of love in her simple touch that he wanted to gather her close. But there would be time for that in a little while. “What did Edna say when you called her?”
“She said she can’t wait to meet you. Thank you for inviting them to lunch tomorrow. She’s so excited. I had to confide in someone after I ran out on you. She told me to wait a week to see if you contacted me. If you didn’t, then I was supposed to pick up the phone and call you. And if I really loved you, I was supposed to apologize until you believed me.”
“I would have believed you right away.”
They drifted into the living room together. Zane walked her to the picture window where he peered out between the slats of the blind. “I don’t know how good security’s going to be up here. Even with my team at the bottom of the mountain preventing anybody from driving up, persistent reporters could camp out there with a long lens and we’d never know it.”
He swung around to look at her. “I’m worried about you and Jonah. Are you sure you’re ready to accept all of this as part of your life?”
Her gaze steady and true, Jeannette didn’t hesitate to say, “I love you, Zane. I think you’re underestimating the residents of Thunder Canyon. I think they’ll help ensure your privacy. Small towns can be protective.”
After he considered that and how the audience at the concert hall had been so supportive, he admitted, “I’m thinking about selling my place in Utah and buying this. Thunder Canyon might be a good town to settle down in for most of the year.”
“After the trial, will you tour again?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure about anything career-wise right now except for the fact that I’m going to be writing songs for you and Jonah. How do you think Jonah would like Nashville? My studio’s at my place there.”
“I think he’s going to like being wherever you and I are.”
Suddenly unable to control his desire to hold her, he scooped her up into his arms. “What do you think about a Valentine’s Day wedding? The trial will be over, and you and Jonah will have had the time to get used to the idea of marrying me.”
She laughed and gave him one of those tender looks he loved so much. “I think Valentine’s Day would be perfect.”
As Zane carried Jeannette to his bedroom, he suspected he was going to have a lot to sing about in the days ahead…with Jeannette and Jonah as his inspiration.