ANGRY KID.
Jason glanced over at the boy silently jerking nails out of boards with a cat’s-paw. He wouldn’t have been surprised to see steam rolling off the kid’s back. He’d shown up late that morning, driving a tricked-out ’81 Chevy, and had totally ignored Jason as he stomped up the front walk to the house. About ten minutes later Allie had come out with him and introduced him as Zach. Jason had smiled and the kid had given a cold nod. And things had just gotten better from there. Allie went to work and Jason decided that if the kid was going to act like a butt, then he could pull nails from old boards while Jason pried lumber loose from the standing frame of the barn—after he forced him to wear the extra hard hat he’d brought.
Zach smirked as he put it on, and after that he barely looked up when Jason set new boards in the pile. So Jason worked faster than usual, giving the kid a good supply of boards to work out his frustrations on. He didn’t know anything about the kid except that he’d gotten himself into minor trouble and Allie was friends with his mother.
Frankly, he didn’t want to know more.
Finally, about midmorning, Jason stopped for a water break, but Zach kept sullenly pulling nails. One of them flew through the air and landed several yards away. The kid ignored it, so Jason said, “You need to get that in the bucket so it doesn’t end up in the tire of one of Allie’s vehicles.”
Zach met his eyes coldly, then got to his feet and walked over to the nail, picked it up and then walked back to the bucket, where he made a big show of dropping it straight in. It landed with a metallic ping and then the kid went back to work.
“How old did you say you were?” Jason asked.
Another cold look, but this time color crept up from the kid’s collar. He looked back down without answering. So it went until lunchtime. Apparently teenage hunger trumped teenage point-making—although Jason really wanted to tell the kid that he was wasting his time trying to make any points to him—because when Jason said it was time for a break, he went to his truck and pulled out a small cooler. Jason wasn’t surprised when Zach dropped the tailgate of his own truck and sat on it to eat.
After Zach had devoured two sandwiches and chugged most of a bottle of water, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and again met Jason’s gaze. “You’re that football player.”
“I am.”
“What are you doing tearing down a barn? Are things that bad?”
“What if they are?”
The kid shrugged and pulled out a third sandwich. “Nothing.” He opened the sandwich bag. “My dad was a fan of yours. I think you know him. Derek Belfort.”
“Yeah. I remember him. He was older than me. Played cornerback.”
Zach nodded and said nothing else. If anything he seemed even colder. Fine, kid. Play it your way. The only issue Jason had with the situation was that he’d enjoyed his time ripping apart the barn up until now. It’d been like a puzzle, figuring what to take down next. He’d made mistakes, but since he’d been alone, who cared?
Now he had a sullen kid watching his every move even though he was pretending not to.
The afternoon passed slowly. Allie pulled in a little after four o’clock and the kid immediately dropped the cat’s-paw he’d been prying nails with and headed for his rig.
“You’re not done.”
Glacial eyes turned his way. “What?”
“You’re not done. We work until five o’clock.”
“My mom told me four.”
“Your mom was wrong.”
They faced off for a tense moment, then the kid muttered a curse under his breath and went back to where he’d been working.
“Another thing. When you get done, you put the tool away.” He almost added, “Didn’t anyone teach you that?” but this was about the kid’s behavior, not what anyone had or had not taught him.
Zach grunted at him and yanked out a nail. It flew through the air and landed at Jason’s feet. Again their gazes connected, then Jason bent and picked up the nail and dropped it into the can.
“Thanks.” Jason didn’t know if Zach was being snotty or not, so he gave him the benefit of the doubt. It never hurt to assume the best.
One hour later Zach stood and made a show of taking the cat’s-paw to Jason’s truck and storing it in the box it had come out of that morning. He took off the hat and Jason said, “Take it with you. Bring it back tomorrow or you don’t work.”
“Fine.”
“Thanks,” Jason said. “See you tomorrow.”
He got a curt nod and then Zach strode over to his truck, got inside and fired it up. Loud truck. Jason stood where he was as the kid swung it in a wide circle and then tore out of the driveway. Tomorrow he and Zach would discuss driveway etiquette, but right now he wanted a few answers from Allie.
He stowed all of his gear, took off the hard hat and ruffled his hair, enjoying the feel of air over his bare head. Allie came out of the house and headed across the drive to the barn. She saw him heading toward her and stopped, pushing her loose blond hair over her shoulders, but the breeze blew it forward again. She had great hair. The kind a guy thought about spilling over him at she took advantage of the top position.
Not that he was thinking about sex and Allie. Not a lot anyway. Just the normal amount for a guy who hadn’t been laid in a while...and who thought his boss was hot.
“Hey,” he said as he approached.
“How’d it go?” There was a healthy measure of concern in her voice.
“Like working with an angry badger.”
“That good, huh?”
“What’s the deal, Allie?”
Allie glanced to the side, obviously debating about how much to say. Jason waited. He wasn’t going to push her, but surely she could see that the more he knew, the easier it would be for him to deal with the situation.
“Whatever it is, could I find it out in a local bar?”
Her gaze flashed to his. “Probably,” she admitted.
“I’m not looking for gossip. I’m looking for insight. It’d help to know, in general, why he’s so angry. Has he always been like this?”
“No. He used to be a sweet kid. When he was twelve anyway.” Allie gestured with her head for him to walk with her “Zach’s mom is a friend of mine. She thought she had a great marriage until her husband left her. Zach was supposed to go to work on the family ranch with his dad during the summer. He was really looking forward to it, then his dad moved his girlfriend onto the place and decided it’d be too uncomfortable having his son on the ranch with his live-in.”
“Okay,” Jason said as he automatically opened the barn door before Allie could reach for it. “Now I get the anger. Which makes it easier to deal with.”
Allie gave a small sigh as she opened the barn door. “Sometimes I wonder if there is such a thing as a great marriage.”
“It’s a tricky business,” Jason agreed.
She gave him a sidelong look. “Have you been married?”
“Too focused on my career to get that involved with anyone.” The sad truth. He’d had a lot of girlfriends, but never found anyone that he’d felt like sharing the rest of his life with.
Allie gave a small snort. “I thought I was building a life with someone, only to find out that I was the only one swinging the hammer. Not to sound bitter...sorry. I probably shouldn’t talk about Kyle right now.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. He’s out of the hospital, but...” She shrugged. “Nothing.”
Nothing, his ass. There was something about the ex that was eating at her or irritating her. Maybe both.
“Do you think you can continue to work with Zach?” she asked.
He smiled down at her. “Do I have a choice?”
“You could walk.”
“Then who would oversee the kid?”
“He probably doesn’t need overseeing once the beams are laid down,” Allie said. “He worked beside his dad on the ranch since he was eleven or twelve.”
“So you’re saying that I’m the superfluous member of the demolition team?”
Allie’s smile touched her eyes and lit her face, and made him want to kiss her...just to see what she tasted like. “Maybe,” she admitted.
“I’ll have to up my game.”
“By the way, Zach’s mom is glad that you’re making him wear a hard hat.”
“I had that drilled into me since I could walk. If you’re carrying a tool, you need to have a hard hat and boots.” He took the bucket of grain she’d just filled. She didn’t relinquish hold of it easily. Jason was about to give up to circumvent a tug-of-war when she let go.
“You know I can do this?” she asked with a cool who-the-hell-are-you-to-do-things-for-me? lift of her eyebrows.
“I’d be pretty thick if I didn’t.”
“Then—”
“It’s a courtesy, Allie. It’s something that I do. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop.”
“It makes me uncomfortable.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel like I owe you.”
He gave her an incredulous look. “This isn’t tit for tat. No one’s keeping score.”
“I am. I kept score for years and now it’s a habit I’m having a hard time breaking.”
“What do you mean you kept score?”
She walked out of the barn and over to the fence, where she motioned for him to dump the grain into the trough. For a few seconds he thought she wasn’t going to answer.
“With Kyle. I kept score with Kyle. I didn’t start out doing that, but after several years of making excuses, I started to realize there wasn’t an excuse. Not one I could live with anyway. I did all of the day-to-day stuff and he started things. If I didn’t finish them, they didn’t get done.” Her mouth flattened for a moment. “You know how I said I wasn’t bitter? I lied. I’m totally bitter.”
His hands settled on her shoulders before he even realized he’d moved. He felt her muscles go tense, but he didn’t take his hands away. “Recognizing it is the first step to letting go.” She pulled back ever so slightly and he let his hands drop away. It wasn’t what he wanted to do. He wanted to pull her up against him and hold her. Try to soothe the tension out of her stiff body.
“Thank you, Yoda.”
“Anytime.”
She took the grain bucket from him and started back toward the barn. “I don’t talk about Kyle with my sisters anymore. For a long time it was all I could talk about and, even though they’re patient, I could see that it was hard for them to keep listening to my bitching.”
“You can’t let this guy continue to control you.”
“He doesn’t—” She broke off, then her mouth twisted a little at one corner. “Maybe he does.” She gave a small sigh, then looked out over the pasture. “I need to finish chores.” She held out the bucket. “Would you refill this while I throw hay to the cows?”
“You bet.”
* * *
ALLIE SAT ON the porch step and watched as the dust from Jason’s truck settled. He was gone for the night and that feeling of lonely isolation once again settled over the ranch. But tonight she was glad he was gone.
Way to pour out your guts, Allie.
There was something about Jason that allowed her to pour her guts out and she couldn’t figure out whether or not that was dangerous.
And if so, what was the danger?
All of her instincts said keep your issues to yourself and then she’d gone against instinct.
Probably because there was something steady about Jason, but despite that steadiness, she had a feeling that he was just as leery of strong feelings and commitments as she was. Or maybe it was just that he was fighting demons of his own, so that when the conversation turned to his issues, he became cagier.
Jason with issues. She’d always assumed his life was perfect, but apparently even golden boys had their difficulties... Although, despite her past prejudices, maybe she needed to stop thinking of him as a golden boy. Privilege had rendered him clueless in some regards, but he was also a good guy. Intuitive, empathetic, easy to talk to and he called her on her bullshit. Definitely not the person she’d judged him to be, but that said, she didn’t need further complications in her life, such as those that might arise from being attracted to an ex-football player. Not when she wasn’t fully recovered from her last failed relationship.
And not when she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life.
The thought was absolutely depressing and Allie pushed it aside as often as possible...but sometimes she couldn’t. Like now.
Allie pulled off the top of a wilted bachelor button and played with the feathery blue flower, twisting it between her fingers as she watched the cows happily toss hay in the air as they looked for the good bits.
She enjoyed the library, but couldn’t see working in a school for the rest of her life, and that was a scary thought considering how much time and money she’d put into training. She liked kids, but didn’t feel comfortable taking command of them. She felt almost trapped at the school...but she hadn’t minded working in the accounting office while she’d been supporting herself and her husband. She’d been glad for the income, glad to be around other people. So what was the deal here? She’d put all of this time into an education degree and she didn’t feel any kind of excitement to go to work.
It’ll be different when you’re full-time and not just subbing.
But what if it wasn’t?
Then you’ll suck it up and figure something else out.
What else could she do? Start over? Ha.
But she hated the feeling that she was spinning her wheels yet again and that she’d wasted time and money training for a career that didn’t satisfy her. Allie tossed aside the flower and pushed herself to her feet. The interior of the house echoed as she walked inside and closed the door behind her. Lonely, lonely house.
She headed toward the kitchen, pausing at the sideboard and studying the painting that hung above it. The painting Jason had commented on after cleaning up his scrape in her bathroom. Even though she’d created it during a dark time in her life, the painting of her garden was bright—brighter than the garden had actually been. The colors popped and seemed to convey a feeling of hope and happiness.
Where had that hope and happiness come from? Allie hugged her arms around herself as she studied the painting, trying to recall how—or even why—she’d produced such a positive statement when her world had been so damned dark. Dark enough that Kyle had seemed like a knight in shining armor.
Kyle, who’d resented the time she spent painting and had laughed when she’d said that maybe she could sell a few pieces and bring in some extra income. “You’re good,” he’d said, looping an arm around her and pulling her close, “but be realistic. If you want to bring in extra income you need a real job.”
He’d been right.
She’d quit painting less than a year after they’d married and focused her energy elsewhere, feeling as if that phase of her life were over. She no longer needed to pour her feelings into her artwork as she dealt with grief—or create lies about what her world was like.
They weren’t lies, per se.
All right. Wishes. She was depicting the way she wanted her world to be. Again. The way it had been before she’d lost her dad.
Allie pulled her gaze away from the painting and headed into the kitchen, where she took a container of day-old pasta out of the fridge and set it in the microwave. While it heated, she went back to the painting, then studied its companion, another garden scene, done in the late summer.
How many more paintings were stored in the attic? Probably five or six. Maybe more.
And what if Jolie hung the rest of them when she came back? It was uncomfortable enough having these two on display.
She needed to get rid of the others while she had the chance.
* * *
MAX WAS STRETCHED out on the sofa instead of in the recliner when Jason got home. He didn’t budge, and neither did Duke or Barney, when Jason went upstairs to his bedroom. And his dad was snoring softly when Jason came back down.
A day with Jimmy had worn him out. A day with Jimmy would wear anyone out.
He’d just settled at the table with a turkey sandwich and club soda when his phone buzzed. Coach’s number came up and Jason’s pulse jumped. Good news would be a nice change of pace.
“You aren’t in the running for either coaching job,” Coach said immediately after his hello.
The coach never had been one to sugarcoat. Jason let his head drop back in defeat before he said, “Thanks for letting me know.” The form email would no doubt follow.
“There’s an opening in the athletic department,” Coach blurted out in his gruff way. “An assistant to the assistant athletic director.”
“Assistant to the assistant?”
“You’re not qualified for this job, either, but it would be a toe in the door and I put in a good word for you. Actually...I talked to them for half an hour, pulled in a favor, and I think I got you an interview.”
It had come to this? His former mentor having to pull in favors? It was strange to go from being on top of the world a few months ago, a starter in a playoff game, to this—unqualified for anything.
Humbling, to say the least.
“Lots of people want to coach for Brandt, Jason. You’re an unknown entity off the field.”
“I know. And I appreciate what you did. Are doing. Thank you.”
“You have to go to the website and apply. Do it tonight, because the posting closes tomorrow.”
“I appreciate this, Coach.” He had a rock in his gut, but he did appreciate it.
“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t screw it up.”
“I won’t. Thanks.”
“No problem. I’ll be in touch.”
Jason ended the call, then jerked guiltily as his father said, “Who was that?”
He put the phone down and turned to see his dad and the Dobes standing in the kitchen doorway. He hadn’t realized that Max had gotten up from his nap—in fact, he’d considered himself lucky that the call had come while he was alone.
“Coach Whitmore. From Brandt.”
Max’s expression clouded. “Brandt?”
Jason nodded then went to the fridge, where he reached for a beer, then, remembering Kate’s comment about Pop turning them into alcoholics, grabbed another club soda instead. He twisted off the cap before turning back to his father.
“Yes. I wanted to apply for a coaching job there.”
“Wanted? Past tense.”
“They don’t have anything that they would consider me for right now, but there’s an opening in the athletic department itself. Kind of an assistant to the assistant athletic director.”
Max grimaced. “Sounds like a secretarial job.”
“It might be, but it’s hell getting a toehold at Brandt and that’s the place where I want to work.”
“It’s seven hundred miles away.”
“It’s no different than when I went to college there.”
“It’s different.”
“How?”
“I wasn’t on death’s door then.”
Jason cocked an eyebrow. It was serious when his dad went for sympathy points on top of guilt points. “I can always find a place for you down there.”
An expression of horror crossed his father’s face. He’d left California because he’d had enough of the state, with its high taxes and overcrowded cities, and on top of that, he truly loved the Eagle Valley. So, of course, he wanted his kids there. Where he could help them manage their lives.
“You’d do that to me? I really would conk out.”
“If I got the job, and that’s still a big if—” which had been made very clear to him in the phone call “—I could come home fairly often.” That was what airplanes were for, after all—to visit family...and to escape from them when necessary.
“Why Brandt?”
“Top-notch football program. Progressive coaching. A way to stay in football. The place did me a lot of good, and I think I can return the favor.” Jason ticked the reasons off on one hand.
Max held up his hand and did some ticking of his own. “You don’t have to work. You have family that wants you close. You could coach locally. Jimmy will be crushed.”
He would have been better off if he hadn’t mentioned Jimmy, and Max seemed to realize that. His eyes narrowed and he asked, “What about Pat?”
“What about him?”
“Wasn’t Brandt the school that did him in?”
“Pat did himself in.” Jason rubbed the back of his tight neck with his free hand. “Look, Dad. We’ll work something out so that I see a lot of you, but I plan to have a career in athletics. It’s what I always planned, and if I’m able to start at a primo school like Brandt—even if I have to work my way onto the coaching field—I’d consider myself blessed.”
“Good for you,” Max said sourly. He abruptly turned and stalked into the living room. Jason closed his eyes as he heard the distinctive sound of dead weight falling into the recliner and then the squeak of the footrest rising. A second later the television started blaring and Jason took a long drink of club soda. Not the same as beer, but Kate was right. If he drank every time he had a flare-up with his dad, his liver would be shot within a year.
* * *
WHEN ALLIE GOT up the next morning, one of the cows was down, looking like she was ready to calve, but as soon as she saw Allie, she got back to her feet and ambled off toward the rest of the herd. Because of the cow, she was reluctant to head to work early as she’d planned and instead waited until Jason showed up.
“Would you keep an eye on that cow there? Number fifty-three?” The cows were identified by numbered tags in their ears. Even though Allie knew this particular cow as Lou, many of the cows were known simply by their numbers.
Jason squinted at the herd as Allie pointed. “The black one. Yeah.” Which made Allie smile because all of the cows were black. He sent her a cautious look. “This is one of the easy calvers, right?”
“She should just pop it out, but if there are any problems, call the vet.” She handed him a card. “Or call me first and then call the vet.”
“Will do.”
She pushed her hair back as she studied the herd. She really hated to leave. So many things could happen even with an easy calver.
“It’ll be fine,” Jason said beside her.
There was something about his tone that was ridiculously reassuring. The guy had almost puked while helping her pull a calf, yet she felt like believing him when he said everything was going to be okay.
“I’ll call if things start happening.” He pulled out his phone and handed it to her. “Put your number in, would you? Then I won’t have to worry about finding the card.”
Allie took the phone and put in both her number and the vet’s number. “The vet is under Vet.”
“Clever,” Jason said as he took the phone back. Their fingers touched and she was struck by how nice it felt to simply touch and be touched. When he’d settled his hands on her shoulders the night before, it had been the same. She liked being near another person...another person who wasn’t Kyle.
“I’m going to be late,” she said.
‘Yes,” he said with that gentle smile.
Her face felt warm, as if she were blushing. Was she blushing?
She hoped not. Being fair-skinned, it was always a possibility.
She forced a smile and headed for her car, trying to focus on her workday instead of the guy she’d left standing near the pasture. She was going to do her best to find some positives in the day. Education was a good occupation. She’d trained for it, and paid a bundle for that training, and damn it, she was going to use her degree.
* * *
ZACH SHOWED UP almost forty minutes after seven. He slapped his hard hat on his head as he swaggered toward what remained of the barn.
“Do you want to pry boards off today?” Jason asked, deciding to pick his battles. If the kid was late tomorrow, he’d address the issue. Right now he wanted the kid to work and not argue.
“Whatever,” Zach replied.
“Pull nails.”
The kid shot him a dark look, but headed to the stack of boards that Jason had already piled. They worked in silence, just as they had the day before. Jason spoke to the kid every now and again, testing the waters, expecting nothing in return. Yes, the boy was angry. He was also seventeen and needed to find a different way to deal with anger than punishing the world around him.
During lunch, Zach ate sitting on his tailgate while Jason ate sitting on his. He was determined not to let the kid’s attitude get to him, but truth to tell, his patience was wearing thin. After lunch, he tried one more time to make some kind of peace.
“Why don’t you tackle that frame over there,” he said, nodding at a section of the wall that was lying flat on the ground.
Zach practically sneered at him as he got off the tailgate and slammed it shut.
“And while you’re at it, pull your head out of your ass.”
Zach stopped in his tracks, his color rising as he turned to face Jason. “What did you say?”
“I said you need to pull your head out of your ass.” Jason gave the kid a dead-eyed look. Zach knew exactly what he was talking about—he’d have to be pretty dense not to—so he didn’t feel the need to explain. After a nice long stare-down, Zach shouldered past him, grabbed the cat’s-paw up from where he’d been pulling nails and headed off to the section of wall that needed to be dismantled.
Jason watched him go, glad that the kid hadn’t decided to chuck the cat’s-paw at his head or something. The way the kid started ripping and prying boards, he figured that the thought had probably crossed his mind.
Jason went to work on his section of the building, far enough away from Zach that he was out of harm’s way should something go flying. Finally, after thirty silent minutes, he set down his hammer and walked around the barn to where Zach was working.
“Look,” he said. “I might have been abrupt a while ago, but your attitude would get you fired from a normal job.”
“I have my reasons.”
“You’re also almost an adult and you can’t take them out on the world. There are other ways to deal.”
“Oh, yeah? How do you suggest I deal?”
“No easy answer there. But what you can’t do is be rude and combative to other people. That solves nothing.”
“It makes me feel better.”
“Does it?”
Zach started to answer, then abruptly closed his mouth. He turned back to the frame and jammed the crowbar into a crack and started reefing. Jason also went back to work. He didn’t know if he’d made things better or worse, but he firmly believed in what he said—rudeness didn’t solve problems. It just made other people miserable, too.
“You know,” he finally ventured, “we’re going to be together for a few weeks, so maybe we could talk. Like people do when they work together.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“General stuff. I don’t know. The weather, women...whatever.”
“The three Ws,” Zach said with a smirk.
Jason shot him a quick look, but the kid wasn’t smiling. He also wasn’t flinging nails quite as far. Breakthrough?
Probably not quite.
“Why don’t you tell me about women?” Zach said a few seconds later, his tone polite, yet with a hint of sarcasm.
Jason gave him a look that the kid met blandly. Too blandly.
Fine. He’d tell him about women. “Treat them with respect,” he said.
“That’s it?”
“Treat everyone with respect. Life will be better.”
Zach shook his head and went back to work. Jason did the same while the air between them vibrated with sullen resentment.
* * *
ALLIE HAD WAITED all day for Jason’s call but it never came, and when she got home, Lou was still as big as a house, standing next to the windbreak, idly switching her tail. But one of the other cows had a brand-new baby frolicking around it.
“Sorry about no call,” Jason said, pointing at the calf. “The thing was born before either of us noticed the cow was on the ground.”
“That’s the way I wish all the calves would come.” Allie studied the demolition sight because it was easier than looking at Jason and feeling her breath go all wonky. “So how’d it go with Zach today? It looks like you made some headway on the heap.”
“Better.”
“You got him talking?”
“Not really. I told him to pull his head out of his ass and he complied as best he could.”
Allie’s jaw dropped. “Was that the best strategy?” She didn’t want Zach to quit and thus cause Liz more anxiety.
“It worked.”
“Seems harsh to me.”
“There’s harsh and then there’s harsh. I told the kid that he wasn’t going to solve his problems by being rude and combative. I don’t think that’s too harsh.”
“But pulling his head out of his ass?”
Jason gave a small snort. “That was to get his attention.”
“Did it work?” Allie asked.
“The situation had to be addressed. Zach was setting it up so that I had to address it.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah. I do. So I gave him attention that he could handle. I honestly think had I gone all touchy-feely on him and offered to listen while he poured his guts out, he would have really crawled inside of himself.”
“I can see why your dad wants you to sell cars.”
His expression went flat. “Meaning?”
“You seem to understand human nature.”
“I’m used to reading opponents.”
“It seems like a little more than that.”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “Careful, Allie...you’re edging close to a compliment.”
She smirked at him.
“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said in that low voice she was starting to really love to listen to.
“Guess so,” she said. Damn it, she didn’t want him to leave.
“Are you okay?”
She narrowed her gaze at him, as if it were his fault that she found him attractive. “I’m think I’m as good as I’m going to get for now.”
“Want to talk?”
She shook her head. “I don’t need anyone telling me to pull my head out.”
Jason laughed and Allie fought her answering smile. She lost.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jason.” She turned and started toward the house, wondering if she looked back suddenly if she would catch Jason Hudson watching her leave.
Was it wrong that a small part of her hoped that he was?