ZACH SEEMED A touch friendlier when he arrived at the ranch, actually giving his mom a quick wave before she drove away. Maybe it was because he was no longer hung over, or maybe because he’d come to terms with the fact that drinking too much wasn’t going to heal the broken bond with his dad. Whatever the cause, Jason took pains to not alienate the kid.
Most of the foundation was in pieces and instead of bringing in a loader, Zach and Jason put the rocks into wheelbarrows and transported them to a ditch on the other side of the driveway that Allie wanted filled. One of his favorite things about the ranch was that there was always something that needed done, a plan to be made, a goal to achieve.
When they settled on their respective tailgates for lunch, Jason mopped his brow before opening his lunch box. It was getting unseasonably hot and dry for mid-May.
“I’ve got to leave early today,” Zach said. “Meeting with the judge.”
“That works for me, too. I’m about to counter a counteroffer on some acreage and I want to look at it one more time.” Zach appeared interested, so Jason said, “It was a working ranch once. I’m thinking of hiring a manager and turning it into a working ranch again.”
“Which property?”
“The Bella Ridge Ranch.”
“That will take a shitload...a whole bunch of money.”
Jason stopped unwrapping his sandwich. “How so?”
“They lost their wells about ten years ago. They drilled another, but it was dry.”
“Ah.” And didn’t he feel stupid for not knowing that? Or that it was even something he should have asked about.
“You didn’t look into that?” Zach asked curiously.
“I wasn’t thinking of that aspect of the place when I talked to the real estate agent.”
“Then you probably shouldn’t be buying a ranch.” Zach took a bite of a cold burrito. The kid had a stomach of steel.
“I like the lifestyle.”
Zach laughed. “Well, it won’t make you rich, so you gotta love the lifestyle.” The less-than-friendly look returned to his face. “Although, I guess you don’t have to worry about the rich part, huh?”
“Not if I manage my business as it should be.”
“Must be nice.”
Echoes of Allie. “I worked for it.”
Zach took another bite. “Not saying you didn’t.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ve been trying to get a job with my former university and not having any luck.”
“Why would that make me feel better?”
A smile spread across Jason’s face. “Good answer.”
Zach shrugged and went back to eating.
They worked in silence for the next hour. How could he, who paid attention to details, have missed the fact that the ranch had lost its wells? He assumed Zach meant irrigation wells, since the house had a water supply—although, he might want to look in to that, too.
He looked up at Zach. “What do I need to know about wells?”
The kid shrugged. “I’d start with gallons per minute.”
“All right.”
“You might find out how deep it is. When it was drilled. Who drilled it.”
Jason tilted back his hat. “You seem to know a lot.”
“Naw. I’m just making it up.” He smiled a little as he shot Jason a sidelong look. Jason frowned at him and the smile widened.
“You’re cruising for some retribution,” Jason said sternly.
“Yeah?” he answered on a disbelieving note.
“No. Really.”
Zach fought it, but his smile broke through again. He shook his head. “About this ranch thing... I’d steer clear of the Bella Ridge if you want to actually have a ranch. And before you settle on something, you need to have an expert look at it. It wouldn’t hurt to check local gossip, too. Ask questions and don’t just trust the real estate guy.”
Jason shook his head. Schooled by a seventeen-year-old and schooled good.
* * *
ALLIE PASSED LIZ’S car on the way home. She’d run errands and shopped for groceries, which meant she was late getting home, which meant not as much time to work on the portrait.
Liz waved, and to Allie’s surprise, Zach waved, too—an unsmiling two-finger salute, but a wave all the same. Maybe the day had gone better. She hoped so for Liz’s sake. Jason was waiting by his truck when she drove by the work site, so she stopped and turned off the engine.
“Wow,” she said. “You’re all but done.”
“And the ditch is all but full.” He nodded at the tractor with the loader parked next to the arena. “I assume that runs.”
“I sure hope so. It ran when Jolie and Dylan left.”
“Zach wants to use it to fill the remainder of the ditch and he said something about cleaning corrals for the material.”
“I’m good with that.”
Jason shifted his weight and Allie instantly said, “What?”
“What happened yesterday has been weighing on me.”
Allie frowned, having no idea what he was talking about.
“You had to arm yourself to check the calf? Remember? I hate the thought of you doing things like that when no one’s here.”
“These are not usual circumstances,” Allie said. “Usually there’s more than one person living on the ranch.”
“Yet you’re living alone.”
“Like I said, circumstances.”
“If there were someone living here full time, then the circumstances would be different.”
Allie’s heart jumped. “Did you get kicked out of the house again?”
“Not yet. But I was thinking of Zach.”
“I can’t share my house with a teenage boy,” Allie blurted. “And the bunkhouse is in no shape for anyone to move in.” Although he did have a valid point. One that she’d downplayed when her sisters expressed concern. Mel had been injured by that cranky mother cow, and she’d been the hardest of the three to convince.
“I thought maybe I could get him a trailer to live in—”
“No.”
He cocked an eyebrow, as if to say, “Really, Allie?” Instead he said, “My dad has construction trailers. Some are ready to be decommissioned. It wouldn’t cost anyone anything and once your sisters come back, it can go back to the site or be sold or whatever.”
She looked down at the ground, lips pressed together. She hated getting hit with ideas that seemed reasonable, yet not. Yes, it was safer to have someone on the place with her, and she wouldn’t even mind some company. But a teenage kid?
“I don’t know about having a kid here alone all day. Even if he is almost eighteen and a ranch kid.”
“This is where part B of my plan comes into play. I was thinking of volunteering my time.”
“Volunteering how?”
“I want to learn the rudiments of ranching and I thought that maybe I could be Zach’s intern—at least until I get another job.”
“So...you’d keep coming here, like you are now, and work with Zach.”
“Until either Zach or I get a job elsewhere.” He waited for the idea to sink in, then said, “It makes sense. You know it does.”
“You’re starting to convince me,” Allie said slowly. “I might call Liz tonight and see what she thinks about it.”
“Call Zach.”
“He’s a minor.”
“He’s the one you’re hiring.”
“You’re right.” She pulled in a long breath. “Guess I’ll see about doing that.”
“It’d make me feel a hell of a lot better.”
“I’m not your concern, Jason.”
His lips curved into a smile that made her breath catch. “Then maybe you can explain to me why it feels as if you are?”
Allie shook her head and made to move past him, but he reached out to take her arm. Allie looked down at his fingers, then her eyes flashed up to his face.
“I think about you, Allie.”
“Jason...”
“Can’t help myself.”
The same thing he’d said when he’d slipped his arms around her when they’d made dinner. Allie swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat and did her best to ignore the heat building down below.
“I appreciate your concern, Jason.”
“You said you needed a friend and not a lover.”
“Yes.” Allie wasn’t foolish enough to try to add anything to the single-word reply. She probably wouldn’t have gotten any more words out.
Jason released his grip, letting his hand fall back to his side. “You have no idea how much it’s killing me to abide by that.”
* * *
WHEN JASON DROVE out of the driveway a few minutes later, Allie was still standing on her porch, replaying his words in her head. He thought about her. It was killing him not to get physical.
She hadn’t dared say that she felt the same, even though she did. Her body kept trying to convince her brain that getting close to Jason was a good thing. A very good thing.
Her brain, however, had been hardened by adversity. No more mistakes for her. She was going to know exactly what she was getting into before she dove in. Caution was her friend.
After dinner that evening, instead of starting her painting, Allie called her sisters, one after the other, caught up on their news, then told them the Zach plan. All three had been fully in favor, and Jolie had even mentioned the possibility of buying the trailer and using it as a guesthouse. “No hurry there,” Allie told her. “Jason will let us keep it as long as we want. We have time to make a decision.”
And the decision would then be Jolie’s, because she and Dylan would be the people living on the ranch proper. After receiving her sisters’ approval, Allie called Liz and asked to speak to Zach.
“All right,” Liz said warily, obviously wanting to know why her friend wanted to talk to her son.
When Zach came to the phone, Allie asked him if she could hire him full-time—at least until her sister came home, unless of course he’d changed his mind about college.
There was a long silence, which wasn’t the response that Allie had thought she’d get. Finally Zach said, “Is this my mom’s idea?”
“She doesn’t even know.” Allie let out a breath. “If you don’t want to do this, just say so. I can hire someone else.”
“No. I’ll do it.”
“Would you consider living here on the property? In a trailer? So that you can handle the calving and stuff?”
“Uh...yeah. Sure.”
“Great,” Allie said. “Why don’t you talk to your mom and we can iron out details tomorrow.”
“Sure.”
Twenty minutes later, Liz called, just as Allie had expected.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“I felt a little blindsided,” Liz confessed.
“Jason thought it was important to call Zach.”
Liz gave a small sigh. “He’s right. I think this will be great—as long as Zach isn’t sneaking off the place and drinking.”
“He can stay at your place at night, if you want.”
“No.” Liz let out a sigh. “I still hope he might decide to go to college this fall. This’ll be good practice. For me, I mean.”
* * *
ZACH WASN’T AS thrilled with a full-time job as Jason had expected him to be, but it soon came out that it wasn’t the job that he had a problem with, but rather the fact that people were getting together behind his back and planning his future. Even though Allie had technically called him, Zach had figured from the get-go that he wouldn’t have much say in the matter. It wasn’t like he could afford to turn down the job, but he hadn’t found it himself. It had been, in essence, thrust upon him.
“Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want to do this?”
“Did it ever occur to you to give your mom a break?” Or that once you broke trust you might not get as much say as if you hadn’t? “You’re mad at your dad and you take the shit out on your mom.”
“I thought we were watching our language.”
“We’re friends now,” Jason growled. “If you don’t want to do this, then what do you want to do? Sneak out of the house and drink while your mom is asleep?”
A flush worked its way up Zach’s neck.
“I’m not trying to hurt her.”
“It doesn’t matter what your intentions are. It’s the result that matters. If intentions counted, I would have been on a championship winning team every year.” Jason pushed back his hat. “Look. Here’s the deal. Allie needs someone to take up the slack and I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought maybe you could teach me some stuff.”
“Teach you.”
“That’s what I said.”
Zach frowned down at the ground as if trying to figure the catch. Jason knew that at his age, he might have done the same thing, although Jason hadn’t partied at Zach’s age because he’d been serious about his athletics.
“I want to help Allie and I want to know enough to not be clueless about my own place, when I find one to buy,” he added when Zach’s gaze came up. “I nixed the deal on the Bella Ridge.”
Zach dug the toe of his boot into the dirt as his features twisted into a scowl. Finally he looked up at Jason. “All right.”
“Allie will meet with you every morning so that she can line you out and then—”
“I line you out?”
“Pretty much.”
Zach gave a slow, considering nod. “Fine. I guess that’ll work.”
“People are bending over backward for you, so it’d better work.”
* * *
TRUE TO HIS WORD, Jason had a construction trailer at the ranch within a day of Zach agreeing to live and work on the Lightning Creek. When Allie had left in the morning, the area next to the bunkhouse had been an equipment parking area. When she returned, the equipment had been moved to a different locale and there was a boxy trailer in place.
“That was fast,” she said to Jason, who came to meet her at her car.
“Dad’s crew set these up all the time. They tapped into the power at the bunkhouse. Joe’s coming back tomorrow to plumb it into the bunkhouse water and septic lines.”
“Wow. A bathroom and everything.”
“Do you want to be the one to tell a teenage boy that he doesn’t have ready access to a shower?”
“I would not.”
Jason climbed the steps and opened the door, motioning with his head for Allie to follow him inside. The interior was an empty box. There was a row of cabinets with a small sink at one end, a door at the other and nothing in between.
“Zach wanted to move in tonight, but I told him to wait for water.”
“Good plan.”
Allie crossed the trailer, her steps echoing in the emptiness, and then she opened the door to find a small bathroom with a toilet, sink and shower stall. “Adequate,” she said.
“I had to do some fast talking to get a trailer with a bathroom, but I didn’t think you’d want a Port-a-John in sight of your house.”
“Zach and I both thank you.”
Jason smiled down at her, their gazes connecting in a way that felt more intimate than the casual level of conversation called for. Allie tore her gaze away and set her hands on her hips, giving one last look around. “Thanks for doing this.”
“Glad to be able to help—you and Zach.” His voice was low, sincere and somehow deeply sensual. Allie felt her skin start to prickle.
They left the trailer and then Jason walked with Allie as far as his truck, which was parked next to her front walkway. “Garden looks good.”
“What there is, yes.”
“Will there be more?”
“A lot more.”
Jason didn’t move. He studied the garden as if there were an answer to a serious question in the long neat rows of tiny plants. Allie pushed back her hair as she frowned up at him. “I get the feeling that you’re in no hurry to go home.”
He shifted his attention back to her, a small smile playing on his gorgeous mouth. “I’m telegraphing?”
“Totally.”
Jason sighed and leaned back against the front grill of his truck, folding his arms over his chest. “Dad and I have been going the rounds and I’m in no hurry for round, I don’t know, eighteen or nineteen.” He gave her a wry smile. “I’ll probably get kicked out again soon.”
“You can move in with Zach.”
He grimaced as he shot a look at the trailer. “That would be kind of crowded.”
It would be crowded. Jason was a big guy. “Then I guess you could have one of my spare rooms.”
“I like that idea better.”
“I’m sure you do.” Allie sauntered closer, even though she’d felt the need for space in the trailer. Maybe she’d simply needed an avenue of escape. “And next thing you know you’ll be trying to worm your way into my good graces so that you can buy the ranch...things like that.”
He reached out and took hold of her wrist easing her toward him, until their thighs were almost, but not quite, touching. “I’m still looking for property,” he said. “It’ll make it easier when Dad kicks me out.”
“And the job search?”
“Yeah. That.” His lips pressed together. “I’ve put the search on hiatus for a bit.”
Allie’s heart rate shouldn’t have jumped, but it did, and she wondered if Jason had felt the bump in her pulse through her wrist, which he still held in a light grasp.
“For a bit?”
“A season off won’t hurt. It’ll give Dad time to heal fully and me time to decide exactly what I want to do and how I need to train. I talked to the high school coach about running a summer camp for the local players and he was all over that.”
“I imagine he was.”
“I have to accept that things didn’t fall into place—”
“As usual,” Allie added with mock innocence.
He frowned and then let go of her wrist and brought his hands up to span her waist, pulling her another half step closer. And Allie didn’t do a thing to stop him. She didn’t want to stop him. Oh, she would at some point, but right now she felt the need to teeter on the edge for just a bit before stepping back. To the safe. To the mundane.
Besides that, she liked the feel of his very large, very solid hands on her body.
“Yes. Me and my charmed life. Right?” he asked mildly.
Allie went with the truth. “Actually, I’m a little jealous that you know what you want. Even though you haven’t achieved it yet, you have a goal.”
He gave a snort. “Actually, I’m jealous of you.”
Allie stepped back and he dropped his hands from her waist.
“How so?” Because she couldn’t imagine what she had to be jealous of.
He took hold of her hands. “You live here. You belong.”
Allie didn’t answer. There was nothing she could say, other than he was wrong. She didn’t belong.
“I’d better go,” he said in a low voice, raising his hand to gently caress her cheek with a work-roughened palm. Allie allowed herself to lean into his touch before he bent his head and kissed her, a light brush of the lips that left her wanting so much more. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Allie.”
Allie stepped back, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around herself and hold in some of the warmth that was so rapidly fading away now that Jason was no longer touching her.
“See you tomorrow.”
He started the truck as she walked through her front gate and then he was gone, leaving Allie with a whole lot of thinking to do. But instead of thinking, Allie went into the house, changed her clothes, put on her music and started painting.
* * *
JASON WASN’T THERE when Allie got home the next day, but Zach was. He was once again driving the truck his dad had bought him—out of guilt, according to Liz—and he’d moved his belongings into the trailer.
“What are you doing for dinner?” Allie asked.
He grinned widely. “Frozen dinners. Mom hates them. I love them.”
“Good thing you have a microwave.” There were no other cooking implements, but Zach didn’t seem to care.
“Jason’s going to see about getting me hooked into satellite internet.”
“You can hook into mine.” Allie wrote the password on a slip of paper and pushed it toward him.
“‘I heart Gus’?” Zach said, reading the password.
“My sister made the password. Gus is her dog.”
“No one will ever break that code,” he said.
“No one is close enough to try. What’s on your agenda for tomorrow?”
“We’re going to check fences and start spraying.” Zach shook his head. “There’s a lot of spraying that needs doing.”
“I have an account at Culver Ranch and Feed.”
“And you said that Jolie used to divide the pastures?”
“She moved the ladies every few days.”
“I think I’ll call her and see how that worked out.”
Allie pulled the paper back toward her and wrote Jolie’s cell number on it.
“Thanks.” Zach picked up the paper. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Going to go stir-crazy alone?”
He looked surprised. “I have the internet. I’m fine.”
Allie wished it was that easy for her. Her evenings were much better now that she was painting again, indulging in her creativity and regaining her sense of discovery. But even with her artwork to distract her, absorb her, the anxiety was still there, just under the surface. Allie woke up every single morning expecting something to go wrong and went to bed with the same feeling.
And she really, really needed to move past that.
* * *
MAX WAS SITTING at the kitchen table with a remarkably pleasant expression on his face when Jason came in through the back door after a fruitless meeting with Ray Largent.
“Hey, I just talked to Mike Czakawski down at the dealership. You’re coaching football this summer?” Max raised his coffee cup in a salute.
Jason pulled off his ball cap and hung it on the hook by the door. “Nothing carved in stone, but if I’m here, yes.”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I guess because if Jimmy found out, it’d be all over town.”
‘Jimmy found out,” Max said on a note of satisfaction.
“Then I guess it’s a done deal.”
“Guess so. Is it such a bad thing?”
Jason took the chair opposite his father and reached out to pour coffee from the carafe. He didn’t usually drink coffee at five o’clock in the afternoon, but he needed to do something as he attempted to explain himself to his dad.
‘My entire life has centered around football.”
“I know that,” Max sputtered.
“When I was six, I decided I was going to play pro ball. Everything I did, I did with that goal in mind. When I hit college, I decided that after my pro career, I’d coach college ball. I love college ball, Dad. I don’t want to coach in the pros. I don’t want to be a movie star or a celebrity like Pat did. I want to coach college ball at a high level. And I can’t do that here.”
“Nobody’s knocking down your door, are they?”
“Because I have no track record.” Jason took a sip of lukewarm coffee. His dad needed to get a better carafe. “I can’t do anything this coming season. I want you to be fully on your feet before I leave, and I have to figure out where to intern or train to get the experience I need. But, Dad... I’m going to be involved in college ball, one way or another.”
“Because you decided to do it all those years ago? Or because you still want to?”
Jason frowned at his father. What kind of question was that? “Because I want to.”
Max gave his head a shake. “Then I wish you luck.”
And Jason wished that his father actually meant what he said.
“I’m not going to settle, Dad.”
“I’m not telling you to settle. I’m telling you to examine your motivations as well as your goals.”
“I’ll do that.” Jason set down his coffee cup and rose to his feet. He stepped over a sleeping Dobe on his way out of the room. The stress that he’d managed to shed while working on the Lightning Creek came charging back, tightening his shoulders, his neck muscles, his jaw.
Get used to it. You’re going to be here for a while.
If not in the house, then in the vicinity.
But what killed him was the fact that his dad had just asked him to do something that he instantly knew he didn’t want to do. He didn’t want to think about whether or not his goal was still viable.
* * *
LIZ WAS WAITING at the library door when Allie got to school the day after Zach moved into the construction trailer.
“Not to play the anxious mom, but how’s my son?”
“Good. I have Mike Culver—Jolie’s grandfather-in-law—coming over in the afternoon to talk fertilizer and such for the meadows.”
“He’ll get a charge out of that. He always loved ranching, until, you know...”
“I know.” Allie unlocked her door. “I think he likes the idea of working for me now that he’s come to the realization that we didn’t do this as a form of house arrest.”
“Is that what he thought?”
“I heard him talking to Jason just after he agreed to our proposal and that’s the impression I got. Jason talked him down.”
Liz followed Allie into the library and put her giant teacher tote bag on the library counter. “Regarding Jason, I enjoy telling people, ‘Yeah, I knew him back in the day,’ even though I really didn’t. I knew his sister.” Liz shrugged. “Anyway...he’s been good for Zach.”
“He’s a good guy,” Allie agreed.
“Are you two, uh...?”
Allie hesitated before answering. Liz was officially single now. And she was attractive and... Allie felt a twinge of possessiveness, which she wasn’t going to feel bad about. Jason was good for her, too.
“We’ve gone out.” Not a lie.
Liz gave a faint smile. “I figured, but wouldn’t Jason Hudson be the perfect revenge guy for a woman whose football-loving husband left her for a younger woman?”
“Who then dumped him?” Allie added. It was the one bright spot in an otherwise depressing situation.
Liz smiled darkly. “That was satisfying, but it didn’t make up for Derek screwing up Zach’s teen years. And it didn’t keep him from getting another hottie.”
“No.” Allie stowed her purse, then draped her cardigan over the back of her chair.
“I heard they’re going to fly the third-grade job this week.” Liz smiled broadly as she made the announcement.
“I don’t think I’m going to apply.” Liz’s face fell. “I’ve come to the conclusion that if a person doesn’t love to teach, they shouldn’t. It’s not fair to the students.”
“The kids love you.”
“And I love them, but Liz... I’m not loving this job. If the job requirements were to have fun with the kids all day and let them run wild, I’d be a shoo-in.” She shook her head. “If I’m going to work at a job just to work, it’s not going to be one that has such a deep effect on others.”
“Allie...wow.”
“I know.” But she felt good about her decision. “Please don’t tell anyone. It’s not by any means certain.”
“What’ll you do, if you don’t teach?”
“There’re some administrative openings at the community college. Or I can get another bookkeeping job. I have experience.”
“Those don’t pay as well.”
“But they pay well enough and I’m not high-maintenance.” After a few long nights of soul-searching, she’d come to realize that while she wanted security, she didn’t want to pretend to love a job she didn’t and in her mind, a teacher needed to love her job. Gnashing her teeth over money lost getting an education degree wasn’t going to get that money back, nor was working in the field just because she’d trained for it.
“Think about this,” Liz said earnestly. “I swear, the job gets better as time goes on.”
“I will think about it,” Allie said. “I honestly will.”
* * *
CUTTING, SPRAYING, CHOPPING. A large portion of Jason’s day involved weed annihilation. He’d had no idea that it was such a constant battle. But he could now identify several weeds that had to be eradicated on sight.
It also appeared as if the cows had figured out that they now had a midwife on call, because they started popping out calves. Most of them came easily, but Jason had to help Zach pull yet another large calf two days after his ranch internship had begun. The calf was lethargic and its mother showed little interest in it, barely licking it as it lay in almost the same spot in which it was delivered. After watching for close to an hour, Zach called Allie. He wasn’t on the phone long before he disappeared into the house and came back with a tube and a bag of what looked like milk.
“Hold this.” Zach handed Jason the bag and then started feeding the tubing up the calf’s nose. “You have to be careful to get into the stomach and not the lungs,” he said.
“How do you know which is which?”
“Well, he’s not gasping for air. This is called tubing by the way. It’s important that the calf get the colostrum from the first feeding and if they don’t suck then we have to feed them this way.”
“Got it.”
Once the calf was fed he had more energy and tottered over to his mother, who then heaved herself to her feet. “We need to check on her frequently.”
“Right.”
They headed back to the work site after Zach had washed up the equipment and stowed it back away in Allie’s house. Zach’s phone beeped and he checked the message before shoving the phone back into his pocket with a grimace.
“My mom wants me to walk during graduation, even though I finished school in December.”
“Why did you graduate early if you didn’t plan on starting college early?” Jason asked.
“I couldn’t play the game anymore. School didn’t mean anything to me and my friends were into stuff I wasn’t.”
“And your parents’ divorce?”
Zach gave a casual shrug.
“You know...it’s okay if it rips you up a little.”
“I’m seventeen years old, not a little kid.”
Jason somehow kept a straight face. If this kid knew that the things that had bugged Jason at sixteen still bothered him now, he probably wouldn’t believe it. And Jason wasn’t going to work to convince him.
“We need to get back to cutting the weeds.”
* * *
ALLIE WAS LATE getting home, but Jason wanted to see her, so he busied himself pulling weeds in her garden while he waited. He made no excuses to himself, or to Zach, who was now happily playing video games and eating Hot Pockets, as to why he was staying late. Sometimes, regardless of what his dad had said, one didn’t need to assess goals or motivations. They could just go with their gut, and his gut was saying that he should spend time with Allie.
Thankfully, Allie seemed good with that, or so he assumed from the way she smiled after she’d parked her car and approached the garden, where he was straddling a row of kale.
“I’m not going to ask why. I’m just going to say thank you.”
“You’re welcome” He tossed a handful of weeds into the compost bucket. “After it rains, these things really take off. The weeds, I mean.” He stepped over the fence instead of going through the small gate. He’d never gardened in his life, which made him nervous about pulling the wrong plants, so he’d only tackled the obvious weeds on the very periphery of the rows.
“Everything okay at home?” Allie asked. “You didn’t—” she shrugged innocently “—get kicked out or anything?”
“Not yet.” As was happening more and more, the vibe between them grew stronger as he got closer to her, along with his need to touch her.
“Zach is working my ass off.”
“So you decided to stay and weed my garden, instead of going home and recuperating. Good choice.”
“Yeah. It was all about the weeds.” He smiled down at her and when he looped a casual arm around her shoulders, she leaned into him. There’d been no talk lately of needing a friend, not a lover, and they were touching a lot more. Allie was lonely and she was alone—which Jason had discovered were not the same things—and she trusted him. He was, in a way, honored. Allie didn’t trust easily.
“Would you like a beer before you go?”
He turned her in his arms. “Do you remember that first time I came to the ranch?”
“Vividly.”
“You had that bottle of Jameson on the sideboard. With the big glass next to it.” Allie opened her mouth as if to defend herself, then closed it again and gave a nod. “Well, if there’s any left, I’d love a shot.”
Allie’s eyebrows rose. “If there’s any left?”
“It was a while ago.”
Allie gave him a hard look. “I don’t own shot glasses.”
“But you do have Jameson.”
“And two juice glasses.”
“I’m in if you are.”
“I’m in,” Allie said as she started for the house. Jason caught up with her and they headed up the porch steps together.
“That calf you guys tubed today. It’s doing okay?” she asked. “Have you checked it lately?”
“Seems fine. Zach was like a mother hen.”
“How’d you do with the tubing?”
“Do you mean did I puke? No.” He gave her a wry look. “I’m glad Zach was there to do the tubing, but I think I could do it if I had to.”
“You’ve changed, Jason.”
“Ranch life has toughened me up.”
Allie gave him a sidelong look. “You haven’t seen ranch life at its finest.”
“That’s what Zach says.”
“I like having him here. The ranch feels better.”
Jason kept his mouth shut and simply smiled at Allie as she opened the door.
“There’s your portrait,” she said casually, pointing to the canvas on the easel near the window. Jason walked over to take a look while she continued into the kitchen.
It was indeed him. The work was done in shades of peach and blue and lavender, the brushstrokes loose, yet somehow confident. Gillian, the gallery owner he’d dated for almost two years, would love this portrait.
“This is crazy good, Allie.”
“You think so?” She came in carrying the bottle and stood beside him, studying the painting. “I see things I would change, but I always do.”
“I want to buy it.”
“Not for sale,” she said as she went back into the kitchen. “I want something to remember you by.”
“Maybe I’m not leaving,” he said as the cupboard door squeaked open.
There was brief silence, then Allie said, “But maybe I am.”
Jason went to the kitchen where Allie was pouring whiskey into juice glasses. “Ice?”
“Please.” He crossed the kitchen to stand close to her, folding his arms over his chest to keep from touching her. “Why might you be leaving?” Even though he fully intended to quit the country, the thought of Allie leaving dug at him for some reason.
“I’m not going to apply for teaching jobs here. It isn’t fair to me or the kids. Therefore, I need to find something else. It probably won’t be here.”
“But it might be.”
“It might. I applied to the community college and to a few accounting places. You never know.” Allie handed him a glass and he curled his fingers around it without looking at it. She lightly touched her glass to his. “All that money spent, Jason, and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
“It happens to a lot of people.” He raised his glass, but didn’t drink. “Can you make a living here on the ranch? Hypothetically speaking, I mean.”
Allie shook her head. “I might, but I won’t. I don’t know where I’m going to land, but it’ll be in a place where my income comes from a secure job and is not influenced by the whims of nature.”
“Income can be affected by other whims.”
Allie sighed and put her drink down and Jason had a strong feeling she wanted to take him by the shirtfront and shake him, to make him understand just how serious she was in what she was about to say. “I have had nothing but hard times on this ranch, Jason. I can’t get them out of my head. I need to live somewhere else. Away from the memories. I wake up in the morning and wonder what the ranch is going to do to me today.”
“It’s that bad?”
“I wish it wasn’t, but yes. It is. I thought the anxiety would fade with time, but so far...no.”
“You don’t feel like this elsewhere?”
Allie gave a small shrug. “I do...but not as much. Not nearly as much.”
“Then you’re right. You need to be somewhere else.” And it killed him to think of Allie living on the edge of apprehension, wondering what would go wrong next.