JENNA LEFT The Lemonade Stand for the last time Sunday morning while Lila was off the property and her housemates and Renee were at the private, nondenominational church service held in the theater in the main building.
She signed out, so no one would think she’d been abducted. And left a note for Lila, thanking her for her hospitality and included a check for ten thousand dollars. It wouldn’t go all that far at The Lemonade Stand, but it was as much as she had in her personal account. She wouldn’t spend money she shared with Max without his permission.
When this was all over, she’d be dead. Or she’d have access to her joint account with Max.
There was another note for Carly and Latoya, with a personal message for each, and a third one for Renee.
She begged the older woman to have the strength to love her son with the tough love he needed. And told her that she considered her one of the only true friends she’d ever known.
As she sneaked out the gate, and slipped away, taking only the purse she’d come in with, and the prepaid cell phone, she sent up a prayer that Yvonne would heal. And remain strong.
That Maddie would have a healthy baby.
That her young client who stuttered would overcome his speech disorder.
And that if anything bad happened to her, someone would find the diary she’d left hidden underneath her mattress—she didn’t want it found too soon—and give it to Max to save for Caleb.
She’d left instructions to that effect on the first page of the diary.
If she made it through the next few days, she’d come back to The Lemonade Stand to thank everyone in person and collect the diary.
In tennis shoes, jeans and a black pullover, she walked for several miles in the morning coolness. Not hiding anymore. If Steve found her, all the better.
Ending up at the beach—not her and Max’s beach, but another public beach with cliffs that jutted out into the ocean—hadn’t been part of her plan, but it wasn’t outside the plan either. She needed a place well away from The Lemonade Stand. Well away from Max and Caleb.
She picked a place in the sand and sat down. Pulled her cell phone out of her bra, and dialed a number she knew by heart. A private number that Steve gave out to very few people and had forwarded to whatever cell he carried.
“Meredith?” He answered on the first ring.
She’d known he would. And the familiar sound of his voice still sent cold chills down her spine and brought bile to her throat.
“Yeah, Stevie, it’s me.” Thanks to him she had the strength to play this through.
“I wasn’t sure you got my message.”
The note on her van. He’d told her to call. That was all. Nothing else. No overt threat.
But the note had been enough. She’d heard the threat inherent in it. Just as he’d known she would.
They’d been best friends. Lovers. They’d told each other all of their secrets. They’d known each other better than anyone else had ever known either of them.
And he’d betrayed her confidences. Used them against her in the most vile way possible. In the name of love, he’d taken every beautiful thing she had to give and turned it into a twisted mass of fear-based choices.
She wanted to do the same to him but was glad she couldn’t. Glad that she wasn’t a vile person, too, in spite of the hell he’d put her through.
“Are you still in Santa Raquel?”
“I can be. In an hour, tops. Where should I pick you up?”
She told him the name of the beach. Described her location. And then sat in the sand, watching the waves. And waited for him.
* * *
A WARRANT FOR a man’s arrest was fine, but didn’t do a whole lot of good if they didn’t have the guy.
Max heard Chantel on the phone Sunday morning, and gathered that some kind of bulletin had gone out in both Nevada and California to alert law enforcement that an arrest warrant had been issued, that he was a former cop and a licensed private detective who would probably be armed, and to be on alert.
He was wanted for murder and was to be brought in, no questions asked.
He was considered dangerous.
Max figured he and Caleb would lie low for the day.
* * *
THE BEACH WASN’T CROWDED, but there were enough people around that Meredith blended in. Some were in suits, braving the cool temperature to swim in the water. And some, like her, were fully dressed, just enjoying the fresh ocean breeze.
Conversations floated in and out of earshot. An occasional squeal pierced the air. The waves created a white noise that might have relaxed her on another day. In another life.
Meredith took many deep breaths. Enjoying the salty tang of the ocean air. Gazing at the horizon and knowing that the possibilities were endless. Even today. Anything could happen.
And there was always someone stronger than the strongest human. Hope and faith and joy. Those weren’t things man could control. Or take away. You had to give them away.
She wondered when she’d done that.
And still, the water, the endless, endless water comforted her.
She didn’t hear him. But she felt his presence behind her long before he sat down and sidled up to her in the sand, his legs sliding along the outside of hers, his chest to her back, his arms around her ribs.
Did he remember breaking them?
“I feel your heart pounding, my dear, sweet Meredith.” His voice was low, gravelly. And different, too.
Missing something.
“I’m excited to see you,” she said, though she didn’t know why. She wasn’t. And his thinking so wasn’t part of the plan.
“You’ve missed me.”
“Of course.” In the way you missed a deadly disease when you’d been cured. Always remembering that it had been there and fearing that it might come back.
“It took longer than I expected for you to call.” He gave a squeeze to her midsection. Not so much that it hurt. But she remembered the pain. And drew breath from the part of her that knew not to feel anything.
That girl inside her who’d been born one day long ago, while she’d been standing, bleeding and broken, but feeling nothing, at the side of the highway, desperately trying to get back inside mangled steel.
“I had to take care of some things.”
“The boy.”
“He’s been out of my life for weeks now.”
“Two and a half to be exact.”
“You’ve been watching me.”
“Of course, my love. You knew I was.”
“I saw you.”
“A few times.”
“You let me elude you.” She understood that now. She’d escaped Steve’s clutches over the past few weeks because he’d allowed her to.
So he could enjoy the hunt.
“I knew I had you,” he said. “You’ve been mine since the day I walked into my sweet sister’s house for your graduation party and saw you standing there looking so beautiful and sexy and shy in those black leggings and long shirt that looked like a dress. They’re back in style now, did you know that?”
She did. But she didn’t wear clothes like that anymore. She didn’t wear anything that would attract attention to that which was not available.
“I see women everywhere that remind me of you. Sometimes, I have to admit, I help myself to them. Just for a sip.”
He’d been helping himself to women as long as she’d known him. She just hadn’t known that about him back in the beginning. He was letting her know, now, right up front, that he wasn’t going to stop seeing other women. Not even for her.
He covered her breast with one hand and she didn’t push his hand away. He had to believe he was the one in control until they were someplace private. She’d known the plan wasn’t going to be easy.
Or safe.
“You’ve always come back to me,” she said now, cramming as much of her as she could into the persona she had to play.
“Just as you always come back to me, love.”
“Not always, Steve.” If she overplayed it too much he’d be on to her. “And I wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t threatened me.”
“My sweet Meredith, you do me a disservice. I don’t threaten. And besides—” his head lowered until his lips were nuzzling her neck as he spoke, “—with you I don’t have to threaten, do I, love? You need me just like I need you. Deep down. Where the secrets sleep but never go away.”
“I don’t need you, Steve.” If she’d agreed, he’d get suspicious.
“You do or you wouldn’t be here.”
“I don’t want to need you.” She had to be enough of herself, enough of what he’d be expecting, to keep him calm. And she had to focus on the horizon, the waves, the same ocean that had welcomed her and Max and Caleb to her shores every Sunday.
That was her strength. The ocean. Those memories.
Her impetus and motivation for putting her life in the hands of the devil himself.
“Now that, I believe. You don’t want to need me, but you do.” He squeezed her breast, nipped her on the neck and pushed his groin up against her backside.
No way in hell, buddy. She’d die because of him, but she was not going to have sex with him. That was not part of her plan and was never going to be.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Steve said. “I want you all to myself. At least for now.”
Meredith stood with him and when he laced his fingers through hers, she let him lead her up the beach.
She had no idea where he was taking her, but figured it didn’t really matter.
As long as it was private.
* * *
CHANTEL CAME CHARGING in the front door just before noon on Sunday, her expression pinched and about as serious as he’d ever seen her. Including the day Jill was killed.
Moving Caleb from his lap to the couch beside him, he said, “Watch TV, son,” and followed Chantel to the kitchen.
“What?” he asked, standing in front of her barefoot and in sweats. “Has he been arrested? Is it over?”
“Meredith is gone, Max.”
He stared at the woman he’d kissed and then run out on. He hadn’t seen her again until she’d knocked on his door twenty minutes later and told him breakfast was ready.
Her actions indicated that she was willing to respect his privacy. To accept his need to pretend that nothing had happened between them. At least until Steve was caught and Meri was safe.
“She left where she’d been staying this morning. And you might as well know now, she was at a shelter for abused women.”
Oh, God. Okay. Calm. Calm. Calm. “What about the unmarked cars watching the place?”
“They were watching for Steve, for someone trying to break in, not someone leaving. Or she somehow slipped by them. I don’t know. At this point, we believe she was running from Smith all along....”
“Wait, who’s we? And why? And how do you know she’s gone? A shelter, Chantel? And you didn’t tell me? Which shelter? I called the director of The Lighthouse. They hadn’t heard from her.”
“They wouldn’t have told you at that point if they had.”
“Sure they would. We all know each other. I help with the fund-raisers and...”
“And everything changes the second your wife becomes a resident,” she said. She was leaning against the counter, her arms wrapped around her without a hint of softness anywhere.
“So that’s where she’s been all this time? At The Lighthouse?”
“No. She’s been somewhere else. A unique, private place. But where she was doesn’t really matter at this point. She’s gone. She left notes indicating that she wasn’t coming back.”
“Notes?”
“For the director and some of the residents.”
That was so Meri. To care for those around her. And to leave them?
“She’s never run from a shelter before.”
“We don’t think she’s running anymore.”
Max needed to sit down. He was a strong man with healthy muscles. They just weren’t holding him up well. He swayed a moment and found a counter with his backside, letting it bear his weight.
“The Santa Raquel police force put out a missing person’s alert on her, though technically, she’s still considered to have left on her own.”
“The entire police force is looking for her? That’s bad, isn’t it? They think she’s in danger. Serious danger.”
“Don’t you?”
He didn’t want to think. He wanted to get in his car, go find his wife, bring her home and lock her inside with him and Caleb. For the rest of their lives.
“Maybe she’s on her way home,” he said. “Did anyone think of that? It’s not like Smith could waltz in here and get her. You said police have been watching the place and if she was at a shelter there’d be security and cameras and every cop in two states is aware of an arrest warrant out for him.” Why wasn’t she thinking of all of these things?
“She left three hours ago. She’d have made it home by now. And if you want to know the truth, I’d been hoping, all the way here, that I’d walk in that door and find her sitting here with you two. I was going to give you hell for not calling to let me know she was home, and then enjoy your apology....”
The scenario was a good one. He wanted it.
She was telling him something else, too. She was ready to join him in welcoming Meredith back into his life if that was what he wanted. She wasn’t holding him to whatever promises she might have hoped for in his kiss. “Maybe she stopped someplace. A store. To pick something up. Meri liked to plan moments, you know like themed dinners to celebrate little things. So, yeah, she’s probably hard at work on some kind of homecoming thing. She’d do it up big, thinking she owed me an explanation or an apology....”
Or was it him thinking that?
Chantel’s brown eyes softened for the briefest moment and his stomach started to churn in earnest. “There’s more, isn’t there?”
The woman in his kitchen nodded. “I just didn’t want to have to consider it,” she said. “A team is processing her room now, Max, looking for anything that might help us understand what was going on with her, where she might be and why, but we’ve already got an idea.”
“What?”
She watched him. And he could hear the clock ticking down the seconds on Meri’s life. “Tell me.”
“An older woman...the note she left her said something about the woman having become one of her only true friends...her name’s Renee...she said that Meredith had been doing this research...about the minds of abusers....”
Chantel was struggling for words.
And Max understood that she was trying to prepare him for the fact that Meredith was probably already dead.