I made my way out to the Owl Tree and saw Zach leaning against it. I wedged myself through the fence and made my way into his arms. I started crying. Today was too much, and I was more homesick than ever.

“I hate it here. I miss my friends and team back home.”

He tensed a little, but instead of saying anything, he kissed the top of my head. I moved back to look up at him.

“I’m sorry for the phone call this morning. I found out Gwen was a part of the squad that wrote that shit on my car. I overreacted, and now I have a meeting with the school counselor next week.”

He shrugged. “It’s not the worst thing anyone has said to me before.”

“Dane broke up with her.” I smiled. “I can’t stay long tonight; I haven’t been sleeping that great so I’m going to try to get some tonight.”

He kissed my forehead. “I understand. I’m heading back to work once you head home.”

“You might as well move into that place.” I frowned. “Is it really that hard to keep employees?”

“I’m not the easiest person to be around, but tonight I’m cleaning and fixing what was messed up in the fire. I don’t want to be closed longer than I have to be.” He looked down at me. “Why are you frowning at me?”

“I just can tell how much you hate that place, and it sucks you have to be there so much. Is anyone helping you clean up the mess? Can’t your insurance pay people to do that?”

“They wouldn’t pay for it since my manager is the one who set the fire. That wasn’t in my policy.”

“Well, how about you have the team come and help? Coach mentioned something about us all needing to bond. It could be fun?” I scrunched my nose.

He laughed and kissed my nose. “I don’t think that’s what he has planned. Usually, it’s a hangout at the house. Kind of like a sleepover.” He smiled at me. “I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about you. You need to be getting sleep.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just super exhausted today.” I hugged him tightly again. “I wish I could stay with you every night.”

He kept his arms wrapped around me and put his chin on the top of my head. “I wish you could too. Do you want me to walk you home?”

I nodded and moved out of his hold. I tangled my fingers with his and squeezed his hand a little.

“Do you really hate people as much as you act like you do?” I asked as we walked.

“Yes and no. I put off a meaner side to try and stop things from being said to me.” He kept his eyes straight ahead. “I expect a lot out of my workers, but I try to be nice. I just don’t do well will laziness.”

“That makes sense. I guess I’m not a very nice person either. I tend to shut out everyone except my teammates and anyone I allow in. Everyone else I ignore or don’t have patience for. Maybe that’s why you and I get along so well.”

He smiled a little. “Probably. Hales?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you’ve heard and will probably hear more about my past, but I wanted you to know I haven’t been with anyone for five years.”

I stopped walking and looked up at him, appreciating the way the moonlight lit up his eyes. “I fully plan on keeping your past where it belongs, Zach. In the past. What happened then doesn’t matter now. If I get mad, I will only get mad at how people judge you.”

“Thank you.” He looked relieved. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

I smiled, and we started walking again. “Can I ask you something that you seem to avoid talking about though?”

He nodded and gave my hand a squeeze. “Go ahead.”

“Coach. I see how worried you are about him, but I feel like there’s so much you want to say and don’t. I want you to know that I’m here for you, and if you need to talk, don’t think for a second I don’t want to listen because I do.”

“It’s hard for me to talk about. I guess a part of me holds back because if I say what’s going on it makes it more real.”

At that moment, as I looked up at him, I realized how much he had to carry for his family. He took care of everyone and listened to his family talk, but he didn’t talk to anyone about what was going on in his head.

“But it is real, and I’m just worried if you bottle it all up, you’re going to explode. You have to do what works for you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m here. You can talk to me about anything without being judged.”

We came to the edge of the trees that connected to my yard, and Zach stopped walking. “I’m scared, Hales. The cancer is bad. Worse than we tell everyone. I’m scared I’m going to lose my brother.”

I sighed heavily. I had a feeling it was. I looked down at my solid white converse and took both of his hands in mine. I looked up at him and smiled bravely.

“And if that happens, I’m here for you.”

He nodded then kissed me. “Thank you, Hales.”

“One more question before I go home.”

“Yeah?”

“Is it hard for you to keep us a secret? Are you scared of what is going to happen when people do find out?” I laughed. “Okay, that was two questions.”

“Yes, it’s hard to keep us a secret but not because I’m scared of what’s going to happen or what people are going to say. I could care less about that. Well, everyone but Elliot.”

“Maybe we should tell him.” The face he gave me told me he wasn’t ready for that yet. “Okay, so we wait and see if we make it longer and then we tell him?”

He smiled. “I want him to know, but I’m nervous about how he’ll react. I don’t want him telling your parents and you getting in trouble.” He kissed my lips one more time. “Go get some sleep. We can talk about this more tomorrow.”

I nodded then headed inside to, hopefully, get some much-needed sleep.