I had just finished talking to the Glee Team and the principal of the school. They were going to officially sign Zach on as the head coach, if he accepted. We all agreed it’d be great for Coach to be there and see his brother take over what he had built: a kick-ass team. Everything for our surprise at next week’s home game was coming together quickly and perfectly. Sadie even worked her magic and got her cousin’s dad, who owns a printing company, to make us all special jerseys with Coach’s high school number and last name on the back.
I called Zach.
“Hey,” I said when he answered. “I’m so sorry! I got caught up hanging out with Sadie and lost track of time. Do you think we should still go to the store to get groceries and other things, or do you just want to call it a night?”
“It’s up to you, Tiger. I’d like to get out of the house for a bit if you’re up to it. If not, I can go to the store myself.”
“No, I’ll go. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“I’ll be waiting outside for you. See ya soon.”
When I got there, I smiled as he walked down the steps to my car. I shut off the engine and got out. We got in his truck, and he started driving toward the store.
“Do I need to make a list?”
He smiled. “Yeah. There’s a notebook in the back.” He grabbed a pen off his visor and handed it to me. “Did you have a good day?”
“Yup.” I didn’t elaborate because he had no idea what we were up to. “Just school and practice. We missed you at practice today, by the way.” I climbed over the console and reached into the backseat to grab a notebook.
“I love that view,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m sorry I missed practice. I was on the phone with my construction team in Gulfport. The restaurant is finished. I’m sending Jenny there to do interviews. She wants to be the manager of it. It makes it easier on me. I can run the one here until I get another manager.”
I sat back down in my seat and found a pen in the glove box. I started writing down things.
“You mean, Miss Legs will be gone?” My eyes lit up, and I looked at Zach.
He burst out laughing. “Yes, she’ll be gone. She eventually would like to run the one in New York that I’m thinking about opening.” He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it. “So, I was thinking about next year.”
“Yeah?” I wrote down milk and then looked at him.
“You and Dane will be going to school at Tulane. Quinn and Brink are gone half of the time. So I’ve started looking into places for us and Millie to stay. I’m thinking about taking classes online and homeschooling Millie. She’s missed too much school this year to be ready for next year. She’s smart but a bit behind now.”
“So that means you will be coming to New Orleans with us?”
“Yeah.” He looked at me for a second then back at the road. “I think it would be good for Millie to get out of that house for a bit. Plus, you and Dane leaving would be another change that I don’t think she’s ready for.”
I nodded. “True. Do you promise it has nothing to do with me and Dane living together?” I wrote down some more things on the list.
“I promise.” He gave my hand a squeeze. “I trust you two.”
“That’s so awesome! It was going to be way too hard being away from you guys. So, I never told you because things have been so busy, but Trevor and I caught Dane and Sadie having sex. Dane hasn’t said anything about them being together ,and Sadie hasn’t either.”
He pulled into a parking spot at the store and parked and chuckled a little. “I guess they will tell everyone when they’re ready.” He turned the truck off and looked at me. “Can I have a kiss? I haven’t gotten one today.”
I leaned over and kissed him. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He got out of the truck and came over to my door. He opened it for me. “So are your parents ready to get to know me yet?” he asked this same question almost every day.
“My dad still isn’t talking to me much, and my mom keeps telling me to give it some more time. Sorry, I know it’s the same answer every day.”
He shrugged like it didn’t bother him, but I knew it did. “It’s understandable. Where do we need to start first?” he changed the subject. We came into the store, and he grabbed a cart.
I handed him the list. “See if there is anything on there I missed. I’m gonna run over to grab some—” I stopped mid-sentence. I grabbed Zach’s arm. “What is the date?”
He looked down at me. “November 30th, why?”
I pulled out my phone in a frantic manner as I pulled up the calendar. “No, no, no, no, no.” I said as I started walking. I had no idea where I was walking; I was just walking to walk. I scrolled back four weeks. I touched my stomach.
I might puke.
“Hales, what’s wrong?” Zach asked worriedly.
I started talking so fast every word came out all jumbled up.
“We had, and you didn’t, and I need tampon, but I don’t… I—” I touched my forehead. “I think I’m gonna… I think I might pass out.”
Zach looked at me, taking in what I said. He turned pale and headed quickly toward the shampoo area. He looked around and stopped in front of the pregnancy tests. He swiped his hand across the shelf, knocking all the tests on the shelf into the cart.
“We will grocery shop later,” he said in a panic.
I was hyperventilating. “One time. We messed up one fucking time!” I yelled so loud that a few people passing by looked at us. An older woman did a double-take as she looked in our cart.
“Mind your damn business, lady!” I yelled.
She glowered at me and walked off.
I followed Zach to the self-checkout line and started ringing up the pregnancy tests.
“Zach, we don’t need fifty.” I was on the verge of tears.
Zach looked at me; I could see the panic in his eyes and something else. Fear. Tears filled his eyes, and he turned away from me, swiping his card in the machine. He was shaking so badly he was having trouble putting in his pin. His panicking caused me to cry. Everyone was staring at us, but I couldn’t get control.
He finished bagging up the tests then grabbed my hand and led me outside. When we got to the truck, he pulled me close to him. He rubbed my back gently.
“Shhh, Tiger. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I pulled the console to an upright position and moved to the middle seat. I buried my face against the crook of his neck and cried.
“Maybe,” I sniffed, “Maybe it’s just stress.” I picked my head up and looked at him. “That can happen, right?” I moved strands of hair that were stuck to my tears out of my face.
“Maybe?” He kept his arm wrapped around me as he drove. He looked at me for a second and then back at the road. “Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it.”
We pulled into the driveway, and he turned in his seat to look at me. He wiped my tears away and tucked my hair behind my ears.
“Please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to make you panic worse.”
I shook my head and put my forehead to his. “It’s okay. It’s not okay. I mean, it’s going to be okay. I’m so scared. Please don’t leave me if I am. Oh my gosh, what am I even saying?”
Hurt flashed in Zach’s eyes for a second before he hid it. “I would never leave you.”
“I know. I know that.” I grabbed his hands and squeezed them. “I’m talking out of my ass right now. I’m scared.”
He nodded. “How about we both take a deep breath and go inside for you to take those tests.” He smiled a little. “I guess you don’t have to take every test.”
I laughed nervously and nodded as I chewed on my lip. “Okay. Let’s go.”
He got out of the car with the pregnancy tests. He came around to my side and opened the door for me. He held my hand as we made our way inside. Luckily, no one was in the living room as we made our way up the stairs to the bathroom.
“I’m going to wait out here until you finish. Will you let me in while we wait?”
“Yeah.” My hands were shaking so badly.
He leaned down and kissed me. “Do you want me to go in with you?”
I nodded as silent tears fell down my cheeks. “Please,” my voice shook.
He brushed my tears away and opened the bathroom door for us to walk in. When we got in, he shut the door and touched my face gently. “I love you, Hales.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t form words. I watched him open a box of tests. He handed me one, and I read on the back of the box what I was supposed to do. Zach sat on the edge of the tub, watching me. When I finished reading the directions, I placed the test on the sink and sat down on the toilet lid.
“Hales?”
My whole body trembled. I put my head in my hands. Zach moved so that he was kneeling in front of me. “Please look at me.”
I slowly moved my hands and looked at him.
“No matter what that tests says I’m not going anywhere.” He swallowed. “And if it is positive, I will do whatever I need to do so you don’t have to give up your dreams.”
I nodded. “You look so scared, Zach. Why do you look so scared?”
Tears filled his eyes, and he looked down at the floor. “I’m about to lose my brother. I can’t lose you too.” His voice broke. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
“But you won’t. Look at me, Zach.” I waited for him to look at me before I talked to him. “You will not lose me.”
“Promise?” he asked, sounding scared.
“Of course.”
Tears started falling again. “Will you look? I can’t.”
I’m not.
I’m not.
I’m not.
Zach stood and picked up the test. He took a deep breath and then looked down. He put it back on the sink and knelt in front of me. “It’s positive, Tiger.”
I shook my head. “It’s wrong. Get me another one!”
He grabbed another box, opened it, and handed it to me. I peed on the stupid stick of lies. I put the cap on the end and set it down on the floor by my feet. I buttoned my jeans after pulling them up and watched the little windows.
Two lines.
“Fuck!”
Zach had moved to sit on the edge of the tub. “Hales, stop,” he said before I unwrapped a third test. He stood and pulled me to him. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. I cried against his chest. He put his chin on top of my head and rubbed my back gently. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
“It’s okay,” I said, my voice hoarse from crying so much. “I need, I need to go run or something.”
I moved back from him and started throwing away our mess.
I’m pregnant.
I’m fucking pregnant.
“I-I understand.”
No more baseball.
No more Tulane.
No more just Zach and me.
Diapers.
Crying.
Oh god…
I stopped cleaning up and braced myself against the sink. “Zach?”
“Yeah?”
“I changed my mind. I don’t want to run.” I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. I looked at his reflection in the mirror as he stood behind me.
“What do you want to do?”
“Can we go lay in your bed, and you just hold me?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
He grabbed my hand, and we went to his room. Most of his stuff was boxed up to be moved to the house. He took his shoes off and then helped me with mine. We both laid down, and he held me close to him.
“With everything going on, I never made it to the doctor to get on birth control. I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
He rubbed my back gently. “No, but you need to make an appointment to make sure everything is okay. Hales, we’ll figure this out. Together. I promise I won’t screw up your future. Not any more than I already have.”
I moved back to look at him.
“You have not screwed up my future, Zach.”
He played with my hair. “What can I do to make you smile?”
I stared at him and shrugged. “I’m pregnant.” I covered my mouth and laughed. It felt so weird to say that. “And it’s yours. It’s a little us, Zach.” I smiled a little.
“Hopefully, it’s more of a you.” He touched my face gently. He moved his hand down until he touched my stomach. “I’ll take care of both of you.”
Tears filled my eyes. I put my hand on top of his and closed my eyes, a huge smile on my face.
“I’m going to be honest. I’m scared, so scared. I know things are going to change.” I looked at him. “But we’ll make a great team.”
“Yes, we will.” He ran a hand through my hair. “We’ll figure this all out. I can quit school and take care of our baby while you go to Tulane.”
I shook my head. “No.”
I kissed him. “We will talk about this later. Can we not tell anyone until I go to the doctor?”
“Do I get to go to the doctor with you?”
“Duh.”
He smiled. “Good.” He kissed my lips softly.
“Go check on Elliot. I’m gonna try to take a nap before dinner. I just need a moment where my mind isn’t running like crazy.”
He rubbed my back. “I’ll lay with you until you fall asleep.”
I closed my eyes and concentrated on being in his arms and how safe it felt.
It would all be okay.