part0015

Chapter Four:

Reaching the Stage of Self-Awareness

Before you can fathom a state of self-awareness, you must first define what an empath is. The problem with a term like empath is that it is often seen as fantasy. Though it is something very real that effects many people, it is not seen as being common in society. In fact, if you go around and freely speak about your empathic abilities, people may look at you strangely or tell you that you are just sensitive. However, this is far from the truth. Another of the biggest obstacles that empaths face is first labeling themselves and then defining themselves. Some people live into their 40s or 50s believing that they just have a sensitive nature, while others may live their lives struggling because they believe that is just the way it is meant to be.

By taking this step toward self-awareness, you will be able to reach down and understand the core nature of your being. You will be learning what an empath is and how being an empath helps define you. Once you have reached this deep self-awareness and fulfilled your sense of identity, you will be much more successful at the grounding, blocking and other techniques that will follow.

The Revelation of Your Empathic Nature

When was it that you realized you were an empath? People come to this realization at all ages. When a child speaks of their concerns to a parent or relative who is open-minded, they may learn of their abilities at a young age. While this does not necessarily mean they had control at such a young age, it does mean that they could at least identify what was happening with them. Other people may realize this after a certain experience, sometimes traumatic in nature. They may learn of their abilities when a best friend moves away (because they can sense their emotions) or have this revelation come after the birth of a child or a car accident.

How the revelation comes to you is not necessarily important. Even when it is revealed gently, such as when a trusted, older relative reveals a child’s true nature as an empath, empaths typically feel that they do not have a choice in who they are. On one hand, it is true that you cannot wake up one morning and simply decide to have a tough demeanor. You will still feel sensitive when you are surrounded by the emotions and thoughts of others throughout the day. Even those who try to quash their emotions by numbing them with psychotic medications or by self-medicating with alcohol, marijuana or another substances are merely suppressing their empathic nature. This can be effective for some time, but the true empathic nature will never disappear. Without prescribed and non-prescribed medications, the empathic nature will immediately return. Additionally, when this nature is suppressed, it cannot be focused to create good both in your world and the world around you.

The most important thing to remember as you have this information revealed to you is that you are an empath by design. The make-up of your mind has given you this gift and it will live on within you until the day you die. Once you have realized that being an empath is an ingrained part of you, you move that much closer to self-awareness.

Accepting the Emotional Trauma Associated with an Empathic Nature

As an empath, it is likely that you have experienced your share of emotional trauma. Before empaths even know what they are, they may feel drowned by emotional distress and chaos that seems unrelated to their own lives. Negative emotions are some of the most powerful and it is for that reason that untrained empaths experience feelings of anger, sorrow and fear so intensely.

People have struggles in their lives. Fights with siblings and spouses, bad presentations at work, a failing grade in school, money troubles, setbacks, the death of a loved one, the divorce of one’s parents are all things that can cause a surge of emotional distress. The problem is that when empaths walk into the outside world, even when there is not a single thing wrong in their own lives, they are bombarded with the emotions associated with the feelings of others. They may walk out feeling completely content with their relationship and return home hours later, questioning whether their partner loves them. If they do not know that they are an empath, then there is seemingly no reason for this new feeling of unsureness about their relationship.

In fact, it is not uncommon for empaths to feel as if they are crazy. Remember the example with the beacons and how empaths can sense the feelings of someone they love from hundreds of miles away? When an empath is in close proximity to many people, they may experience all the strongest signals that are being broadcasted. They may feel an intense feeling of happiness from a coworker who just got a raise and moments later be feeling betrayed by their partner for some reason. Then a cloud of sadness and self-doubt may sink in, radiating from a person who was passed up for a promotion. With this amount of chaos caused by so many powerful emotions, it is no wonder that empaths often feel that they are cursed rather than gifted.

This chaos is another reason that society does not necessarily accept empaths. Empathic natures are often seen as a mental illness and possibly even a delusion. However, this could not be farther from the truth. Empaths are real people who experience the feelings of those around them and science has proven it. What is true concerning empaths and mental illness, however, is that it is not uncommon for empaths to suffer from mental illness. Depression is one of the most common ailments, with anxiety and paranoia falling closely behind. Some empaths even experience schizophrenia, which may or may not be misdiagnosed because they are drawing so many emotions from those around them. It is very plausible that all these emotions could be transmuted as different personalities.

On the other side of the empathic spectrum, however, are many empaths who are confident and aware of what and who they are. Trained empaths are aware of the struggles that life has handed to them. Rather than bowing down to the emotions that are foisted onto them on a daily basis, the most positive minded empaths have learned to take control of their own destiny. They have trained themselves to live in tune with the world around them and to use key techniques to become the best versions of themselves, unhindered by the emotions that swirl like a storm around them.

The reason that I am telling you this is because if you have never spoken to another empath or read texts that could help you manage your gift, then there is a chance that you feel like you are on the bottom. You may feel as if working at your job or going to school is too difficult or that it is easier to be alone than to try and build new relationships. You may even feel as if you are dealing with an uncontrollable mental illness, instead of an empathic nature that you can learn to control. The good news is that like some of the most successful empaths, you have the ability to reach your full potential and live out your greatest dreams. By continuing on the path to acceptance and then learning to be in control of your empathic nature, you will find yourself among the most successful empaths one day.

Finding Information on Empaths and Reaching Out for Guidance

Something that you must do to become self-aware of yourself is to learn as much about yourself (thus, learn as much about empaths) as you can. If you go to your favorite search engine and type in the term ‘empath,’ chances are that you are going to find tens of thousands of results or more. There are forums, informational articles, psychic empaths, emotional vampires, and many other terms that seem intimidating to say the least. In addition to this, forums are often filled with questions from people about how terrible their lives are because of their gift, asking for advice to just make it stop. The most popular results never seem to be the most inviting, in terms of being helpful.

You should not worry if you try to find information about yourself online, only to come up with results that are intimidating or unappealing. Something that you should know, however, is that because some of the ideas surrounding empaths lie in the realm of fantasy and fiction, you are not always going to find information that you can trust online. Here are a few guidelines to follow as you try to reach out and learn more about yourself:

DO NOT find information on sites about psychics and emotional vampires- Whether you believe in psychics and emotional vampires or not, these are not the types of empaths that commonly exist in society. To learn about your empathic nature, you must first understand the facts and biology of it all. If you want to explore these topics later you can, but leave them out for your initial fact-finding expedition.
DO NOT look in forums unless you are looking for people sharing stories of their empathic nature- Forums are more useful for empaths who have not yet discovered a name for what they are. They may be helpful in identifying someone as an empath. Beyond this, however, they are often filled with people struggling and asking for help. They can seem hopeless and discourage your success, especially when you are just learning to control your abilities.
DO NOT trust everything you read online - It is not uncommon for people to believe that everything they read online is the truth because it has been put in print. The reality, however, is that nearly anyone can create a website and post content online. This is why you cannot always trust what you are reading. Look for authoritative sources, like those written by doctors, well-known empaths or psychiatrists.
DO NOT meet up with just anyone online- Just like you cannot trust everything that you read online, you cannot trust everyone that you meet online. Empaths are often excited about learning the truth of their nature and meeting up with someone is a quick way to find some of the answers you seek. Therefore, if you are going to meet up with someone you have met online, be sure to take proper safety precautions.
DO look for information on empaths that is scientific or psychological in nature - When information about empaths has been posted on a scholarly website, like one that has scientific or psychological origins, it is more likely to be valuable than that found on a miscellaneous webpage. These are the types of sources that will give you accurate information about empaths, rather than those that provide little more than speculation.
DO look for scholarly papers on empaths- Since empathic abilities have been researched and found to be part of some people’s biological make-up, there is a deeper interest in empathic abilities. There are numerous studies that have already been published as a means to learn what empaths are about. As the interest in this subject grows, you can only expect to find more scientific studies on empaths in the years to come.
DO look for groups of empaths to meet with- You would be surprised at how many empaths exist in the world. If you talk to the average person about how being an empath effects your life, it is highly likely that they will be confused about what you are talking about. They may even think you are crazy. Someone who is an empath knows the struggle and that makes other empaths a great place to reach out to when you need to clear your mind. For safety reasons, you should try to meet with support groups rather than individuals. Regardless of who you are meeting with, bring a friend along. At the very least, let a close family member or friend know where you will be. You should also meet them in a safe place.
DO fact-check everything- Because the Internet can contain information on anything (accurate or inaccurate), it is important to fact check what you learn. If information is on one website, it is surely on another if it is factual. The exception to this rule is newer scientific studies, because this research may not have been fully evaluated by other sources yet.

Becoming Self-Aware of Yourself as an Empath

After you have sorted through the fact and fiction and have defined what being an empath means to you, then you are ready to become self-aware. The key to self-awareness is finding your purpose. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, there was a reason that you were given the life of an empath. You may be able to change a single person’s life or you may be able to help on a global scale. You may develop a company that changes lives for millions of people. As an empath, the things that you are capable of are endless.

Today, as an empath beginning on your journey, you may not know exactly what is in store for you. You may not know what it is you are going to achieve with your life. Even though the end of your journey is unclear, just accepting that it is to come is enough. By accepting that as an empath, you are going to achieve great things, you are acknowledging your abilities. You are becoming aware of the true person that you are capable of being.

You should know that even once you have discovered yourself, the transformation into the person that you can be is going to be painful. Right now, you likely feel everything at once or you have learned to distance yourself from all the emotions that exist around you. It is critical that you find the support you need to use your gift in a positive way, to create goodness in your life. This book is one type of support. Speaking with other authentic empaths is another.

What you should take away at the end of all this is that your empathic experience is wholly your own. Those who learn to use their abilities in the best way are like candles that are alight in a dark night. An empath is like that candle because it can seem as if you are miniscule against all the dark, negative emotions around you. As you learn to cut through this darkness, however, the light from your candle grows brighter. Eventually, it will expand to fill an entire space with our light. This light is your self-awareness. It is the recognition and the acceptance of what you are, as well as the knowing that you have the ability to be so much more, just as long as you fine tune your gift.