Chapter Thirty-Nine

N’THINK

I finally got a hold of Darius late Saturday afternoon, and he gave me more of the same rigamarole: Dax and I would never last; I was welcome to call him when my little flight of fancy finally ended; and only he, Darius, could give me the commitment I craved.

“Noted,” I told him. “When can we meet up so I can give you the ring back?”

“I’m swamped at the moment,” he told me, “so hold on to it for now. Just in case.”

“There is no ‘just in case,’” I told him. “I will give you the ring back the next time I see you.”

I pressed the “end call” button hard, wishing landlines were still a thing. Hanging up on someone used to be much more satisfying.

Feeling lighter and a bit relieved, I went downstairs to the basement, where Dax and Joanne were cuddled up on the couch. He glanced up when I came down. “Done?” he asked.

“Done.” I flopped onto a chair across from him. “I don’t like admitting anyone else was right—”

He raised an eyebrow.

“But…maybe you were right. Trying to force relationships with two guys I barely know, and…it turns out…maybe I don’t even really like, might not have been my best idea ever.”

“Ouch to them,” he said.

“No.” I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “I like them. They’re nice. It’s just…they’re not for me. Let other people have them.”

“Who is for you, then?” He shot me a crooked smile.

I grinned back. “Well, that’s a really good question. I like to think I’ve learned a lot about myself these past several weeks.” I scrunched up my face. “I think I’m looking for someone who knows a lot of useless trivia.”

“Check.” He rose from the couch.

“Maybe…plays an instrument?”

“Check.” He took a step toward me, eyes darkening with each moment.

My insides warmed. “Went to…Yale?”

“Yup.” His toes touched mine.

I sucked my lower lip under my top teeth and gazed up at him. “I want someone who’s…over thirty-five.”

“No you fucking don’t.” He grabbed my hand and helped me up from the couch, pulling me toward him into a tight, warm embrace.

We spent the rest of the afternoon, until Dax had to go into work, cuddling in his bed, watching rom-coms and not watching rom-coms. When he finally left me alone, my arm draped around Joanne, I realized I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me. I was—dare I say it?—happy.

I kissed the dog on top of her head. Maybe this could actually work.

…

On Tuesday night, I showed up for trivia at almost the last minute. “Sorry,” I said after kissing Dax hello. “Long day at work.”

He pushed an old-fashioned toward me, and I beamed in thanks. He could be so thoughtful. I sank into my chair, suddenly relaxing for the first time all day.

“Tell me all about it,” he said.

I shook my head and sipped my drink. “Oh, nothing huge, just some bug going around—fevers, chills, cough. Almost like a summer flu. Everyone thinks they have it.”

“Do they?”

“Nope.”

He laughed. This was lovely. Being with Dax, competing in this tournament with him, snuggling with him in bed watching movies, having him—and one of his old-fashioneds—to come home to at night after a long day. I couldn’t imagine doing all those things with either Rob or Darius. If I’d stuck with one of them, I’d probably be watching sports right now, being forced to make small talk with Ellen Miller, or I’d be getting dressed up for a fancy night out when all I wanted to do was relax and unwind after a hellish workday.

Not that those things were bad. They just weren’t for me. I knew that now.

“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” he said, “but I had a great one.”

“I can’t wait to hear about it,” I said.

But then Ronald got the trivia started—famous Nickelodeon actors, LOL—and we had to put our conversation on hold for a moment. Dax positively crushed the round.

I stirred my drink after he returned from submitting our answer sheet. “I never considered that one of the perks of dating a twenty-seven-year-old might be him knowing way too much about the cast of iCarly.” I raised my eyebrows. “Now I know what got you into Yale.”

He chuckled.

“Tell me about your amazing day.”

He leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. “Well, the thing is paying off.” After the Man on Main Street segment aired, we started calling it “the thing” to avoid talking about the Darius of it all. “This weekend, Saturday night, five short little days from now, Farouche is invited to open for…” He drummed his hands on the table. “Monica Feathers.”

My stomach dropped. “Wow, I’ve actually heard of her.”

“Now that”—he sipped his beer and waggled his eyebrows—“is truly amazing.”

I forced a smile. “I haven’t listened to her music, but I hear she’s good.” She was the kind of woman who brought a legitimate, goofy smile to Darius Carver’s face. And now my cute, young boyfriend was going to be working in her presence. Cool. Cool cool cool. So very cool.

Stop it, brain. We’re having a lovely night. Stop imagining it all imploding.

“Monica’s awesome,” he said. “The band met with her earlier today, and I think we really jibed. She’s a total pro and takes her work seriously, which always impresses me.”

“Good.” I reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “I’m so happy for you.” And I was. Or, at least, I really, really wanted to be. Maybe I could convince myself this sinking feeling that the other shoe was about to drop was nothing more than joy and excitement.

“Round two!” Ronald announced.

I pulled the answer key toward me. “Let’s do this thing.” I held the pencil poised, ready to go. “Hopefully the next round is something I know about, like 30 Rock or the movies of Paul Thomas Anderson. I’d like to at least have a shot at impressing my young Yale-alumnus boyfriend.”

“He’s already impressed,” Dax said.

…

On Saturday afternoon, I put on my most churchy little black dress and kissed Dax goodbye. “Have fun,” he said.

“What’s more fun than a baby’s christening?” I held up the very nondescript yellow gift bag I’d picked out for Olivia. My mom, who was taking my role as godmother very seriously, had urged me to get the baby a Bible or a rosary or something else equally religious. Instead I, as her appointed spiritual guide, bought her my favorite books from when I was a kid and wrote a personal message about why I loved them on each of the inside covers. Let someone else do the Bible thing.

“You’ll be back in time to walk Joanne?” Dax’s brow furrowed.

“I’ll make sure I am.” I double checked that I had my phone. “And then I’ll head right over to the concert.” He had to be at the venue soon to prepare for the show.

“Before you go,” he said, handing me a thumb drive. “For your ride.”

I looked at the device in my hand. “What’s this?”

“Music,” he said. “My music.”

How sweet that he’d made me a mix. “How do I play this in the car?”

He shrugged. “Don’t you have one of those high-tech vehicles that can do anything? My car still has crank windows, so I don’t know how any of this works.”

“I’ll try to play it.” I kissed him again and dropped the drive into the bottomless pit that was my purse. “Thank you very much for the thoughtful gift, and good luck at the concert.”

He recoiled in horror. “You don’t say good luck.”

“I’m sorry.” I winced. “Break a leg?”

“We’ll pretend this conversation never happened.”

A little while later, Yessi met me outside the church in Schaumburg, near where she grew up.

“What are you doing out here?” I squinted into the sunlight. “Shouldn’t you be doing the whole schmoozing-with-your-relatives thing?”

“I threw Polly to the wolves for a few minutes. My mom is insisting that I put my brother in as Olivia’s godfather instead of having two godmothers.” She shook her head. “She didn’t say it this rudely, to be fair, but she said something to the effect of, ‘Olivia needs at least one male role model.’” Her lip quivered.

I pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her tight.

When she pulled away, she wiped her eyes hard. “I mean, she’s really going to hold up Miggy as the paragon of male virtue? He’s thirty, and she still does his laundry.”

I laughed. “Who’s the other godmother?” I asked. “Your sister?”

“Nope.” Yessi waved past me, and I turned around to find Kelly coming toward us, Mark next to her.

“Hey…” I said cautiously, pulling her in for a hug, which she accepted. “How’s it going? Hi, Mark.” I hugged him, too.

“Good to see you again.”

Kelly stared at the entrance to the church. “I’m sorry about our interaction at my bridal shower. I hope your patient is doing okay.”

Mark patted her supportively on the shoulder.

“Thank you, and she is,” I said, frowning a little. Chatting with Kelly used to be so easy, so fun. We used to belt out show tunes in our kitchen, and now she could barely look at me. “How’s wedding stuff going?”

“Good,” she said stiffly. “Everything’s coming along.” She glanced at her watch. “We should probably head inside.”

Kelly and Yessi walked toward the door, but Mark hung back. “Hey, Annie. Can we talk a second?”

I watched my friends disappear behind the heavy doors. “Sure.”

“Not my place,” he said, “but since Kelly appears to be in one of her stubborn moods—”

I laughed. “So you’re already well aware of those?”

“Yes.” He grinned. “You should know: Kelly’s mom’s eyesight has gotten much worse over the past six months or so, and the doctors think she won’t get it back.”

My stomach dropped. “Oh no. That’s awful.” That was part of the reason Kelly had to go out to Galena in the first place—because her dad needed to get to and from rehab appointments, and her mom couldn’t drive him. “She should’ve called me. I could’ve gotten her in touch with a specialist.” I pulled out my phone. “I still can. My friend from med school—”

Mark held up a hand to stop me. “I already told her to do that, and she refused. She didn’t want to bother you, especially since things have been so tense between you two lately.”

My shoulders sank. I would do anything for Kelly—she had to know that. “I don’t care about any of that. I only want to help, if I can.”

He leaned in a little closer. “I think it’s a pride thing.”

“Right.” Kelly could be the most fun and bubbly person, but she also had a bit of a temper lurking underneath. She once put a friend of ours in college on the “dead to me” list because she drunkenly kissed Kelly’s crush at a bar one night—a guy who, to be fair, had no clue Kelly actually existed. I just never thought she’d actually cut me out of her life. “I’ll try to talk to her,” I told Mark. “Thanks for keeping me in the loop. I really appreciate it.”

“When we first met,” he said, “she used to talk about you and Yessi all the time and with such admiration.” He smiled. “I hope you all can work it out.”

“Me too.”

After the ceremony, during which I held a screaming and squirming Olivia while a priest dumped water on her head, we all went over to the Cortezes’ house for a backyard reception. I stayed in the car for a few minutes to answer some questions that had come in during the baptism. I had three messages, on a Saturday. My patients were really nervous about this flu.

I checked the clock before heading back to the party. It was three thirty now. The ceremony at the church had gone long. I had to be on the road by four to get back to walk Joanne and then order a ride to the concert. On my way in, I grabbed a bottle of water and a corner piece of cake covered in fluffy white buttercream. Kelly and Mark were at one of the back tables. I joined them.

“Hey, guys,” I said, setting down my stuff. “They lucked out. This weather is amazing.”

Kelly mumbled in what I assumed was agreement.

I snuck a glance at Mark. “So, Kel…how are your mom and dad doing?”

“They’re fine,” she said.

“Your dad’s knee?”

“Good as new.”

“And your mom?”

“She’s fine.”

I was fighting a losing battle. Mark shot me a sympathetic smile.

My phone buzzed just as I’d shoved a mound of cake in my mouth. “My goodness. This is getting…” I swallowed and sent a quick message back, telling my patient I’d call in a few minutes. “Have you guys heard about this virus going around?”

“A little bit,” Mark said.

“As far as we know, it hasn’t actually made its way to the United States yet, and, as far as I know, it’s not super transmissible,” I said, “but all my patients think they’re going to be the first case.”

“Maybe they will be,” Kelly said. “I suppose it’s possible.”

Okay, that was a tiny, little opening. I’d take it.

“How’s everything else going, you guys?” I said. “The wine shop, the real estate…?”

“Good,” Kelly said.

“Kelly just made her first big sale,” Mark said.

“Awesome! Congratulations! I knew you’d jump right in and be as badass in Galena as you were in Chicago.”

She shot me a smile. “Thanks. How about you? How’s…your love life?”

I laughed. “Actually, there has been a bit of a development on that front,” I said, shrugging. “Dax and I are together.”

Kelly laughed. “What? Really?”

That was…? Was she making fun of me? I could no longer tell. We were so out of sync, I’d lost my ability to read her. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“No…” Kelly looked right at Mark. “Dax lives in Annie’s basement. He was that bartender from the trivia night…”

“Oh yeah.” Mark smiled kindly, which was more than I could say for his fiancée. “He seemed very nice.”

“He is.” I frowned at Kelly.

“I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “I mean it. I’m sorry. I’m just confused. I thought you were looking to settle down. I’m surprised you’re dating a twenty-five-year-old bartender.”

“He’s twenty-seven.”

She took a swig of water. “I actually love this for you,” she said, turning to Mark. “Annie’s never really dated much—”

“Yes, I have.” My jaw tightened. I was getting really tired of people feeling like they had license to comment on my love life.

“Well, first dates. Annie has gone on a lot of first dates.” She paused. “It’s nice to see you’re having fun. That’s all.”

“It’s more than fun,” I said. “Dax and I are serious.”

Kelly smiled. “Of course you are. You’re so scared of being alone that you invited a random dude to live in your basement, and now you’ve convinced yourself dating him is a good idea in an attempt to keep him there.”

“Whoa. That escalated quickly. It’s not like that,” I said. “You make me sound like a—”

“Like the kind of person who’d pursue a relationship with her mom’s next-door neighbor even though she’s not even attracted to him?”

My mouth opened and closed like a fish. “You were one of the ones telling me to go for it with Rob!”

Mark, apparently trying and failing to redirect the conversation, said, “Isn’t Dax trying to be an actor or something?”

“He’s a musician,” I said. “And the band is doing really well.” I stood, grabbing my cake plate. I couldn’t take this anymore. “I have to get going, actually, because he has a big concert tonight.”

Kelly laughed. “Okay. Have fun in the mosh pit, Annie!”

I rushed toward the gate, shooting Yessi an “I’m sorry” look on the way, tears streaming down my face. I didn’t know if Polly’s theory that Kelly was trying to push me away held any water, but, regardless, that’s what she had done. It was official. I’d lost my best friend.