The Kleptomaniac

(klepto – from the Greek word kleptes, meaning thief)

Beware the Kleptomaniac

Who knows not wrong from right

He’ll wait until you turn your back

Then steal everything in sight:

The nose from a snowman

(Be it carrot or coal)

The stick from a blindman

From the beggar his bowl

The smoke from a chimney

The leaves from a tree

A kitten’s miaow

(Pretty mean you’ll agree)

He’ll pinch a used teabag

From out of the pot

A field of potatoes

And scoff the whole lot

(Is baby still there,

Asleep in its cot?)

He’ll rob the baton

From a conductor on stage

All the books from the library

Page by page

He’ll snaffle your shadow

As you bask in the sun

Pilfer the currants

From out of your bun

He’ll lift the wind

Right out of your sails

Hold your hand

And make off with your nails

When he’s around

Things just disappear

F nnily eno gh

I th nk th re’s one ar und h re!