At the end of his shift, Barney got delayed at work with his report and briefing Erin De Laney, the female deputy who’d come on duty to relieve him. Once he left the building, he ran to his truck, hopped in, keyed the engine to life, and peeled from the parking lot. He exceeded the speed limit on the country roads to get home as fast as he could and only relaxed when he saw Taffeta’s Honda parked in front of his house. He’d messed up so badly after having sex with her, saying all the wrong things and acting like a complete jerk, that he wouldn’t have been surprised to find that she’d moved back to her shop apartment.
Heck, as far as he knew, she could be inside packing right now to do just that, and he wouldn’t blame her.
He leaped from the Dodge and broke into another run. His boots echoed loudly on the wooden veranda as he scaled the steps and gained the welcome mat with two long strides. He pushed open the portal, rushed inside, and yelled, “Taffy?”
“I’m right here, Barney.”
He blinked, searched, and saw her standing in the archway to the dining room. She wore that silky blue slip thing that he’d glimpsed her in the night Paul Kutz filed a complaint against her. She looked so beautiful. Her dark hair lay in a satiny drape over her slender shoulders. Her eyes, large and uncertain, clung to his. His mouth went as dry as sunbaked dirt.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to—I didn’t expect you to—holy hell.”
Her mouth curved into a tremulous smile. “I closed up early and came home to fix you a special dinner, including a loaf of sourdough made with your new starter.”
Barney didn’t give a shit about food. She sidled closer, her smile turning impish. “But first, you have to enjoy the appetizer.” She made a fist over the front of his uniform shirt and tugged. He followed her like a well-trained puppy to her bedroom. She let go of his shirt and turned to face him again. “At least, I hope you’ll enjoy the appetizer. I’m the only choice on the menu.”
Barney forced himself to speak with a throat that felt closed off and a tongue that felt like rubber. “Don’t we need to talk first? I handled everything all wrong this afternoon.”
She shook her head. “I want you, Barney. Will you please make love to me?”
Somewhere at the back of his mind, Barney knew an honorable guy would keep his pants zipped. But how could he say no to a request like that?
• • •
The first time with Barney had been wild, frenzied, and fast. Taffeta wouldn’t have been disappointed if he had treated her to the same experience again, but Barney seemed determined to do things more slowly. He stepped closer to lightly trail his hands down her arms, his fingertips igniting her skin wherever they touched. Then he bent to trail kisses over her shoulder, tracing the narrow strap of her chemise.
“I don’t think I’ve told you how special you are to me,” he whispered. “Before we do this again, I think you need to know that I’ve never felt this way about another woman.”
Taffeta noticed that he had carefully avoided saying the L word, but she didn’t mind. She was coming to realize that Barney had to think everything through before he made a move, and he felt out of control when he did anything impulsive.
She tipped her head to nibble the side of his neck. “I’ve never felt this way about another man, so we’re even.”
She helped him unbutton his shirt. It was like unwrapping a fabulous birthday present for the second time, but knowing what was under the layers only increased her pleasure. When he was bare from the waist up, he unbuckled his trouser and holster belts. Then he toed off his boots. She almost giggled when she saw that one of his feet was bare, but he didn’t give her a chance. He grabbed the hem of her chemise and swept it off over her head.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.
“I have stretch marks on my hips, and my boobs sag from nursing Sarah.” She thought of her other flaws. “My stomach isn’t as flat as it used to be, either. And my right breast is slightly bigger than my left one.”
He came to stand in front of her again. “Slightly is right.” He cupped her breasts in his palms, making her breath catch. “I think you’re perfect, and right at this moment, my opinion is the only one that counts.”
He caught her up in his arms and gently lowered her to the bed. His gaze smoldered as he stripped off his pants, his boxers, and the one sock. She heard coins fall from a pocket and jangle on the floor. When he lay next to her, Taffeta rolled toward him, intoxicated by the scent of his cologne and the muskiness of his skin.
“You don’t have to go slow,” she whispered. “This morning was fabulous.”
“This morning was fabulous,” he said, his voice thick with desire, “but this time I want to explore every inch of you, taste every inch of you, and give you the best sex you’ve ever had.”
“You already did.”
“No. I gave you fast and hard. This time my aim is to go slow so you can have multiple orgasms.”
Taffeta couldn’t argue with a plan like that. For her, just attaining a climax once had been the experience of a lifetime.
His mouth closed over her nipple, and Taffeta forgot everything except the wonderful man who held her in his arms. Making love with him earlier had been like riding waves on a storm-tossed sea, but now he changed the tempo. The currents of desire within her eddied slowly. He suckled her breasts. He nibbled the sensitive skin at the bend of her arms. He even drew her fingertips into his hot, silken mouth. Every touch, every deep kiss, every shift of his body against hers increased her need.
She wanted to give him pleasure as well, but when she tried to run her hands over him, he whispered, “Don’t, honey. I’m way too hungry for you. That’ll push me over the edge. I want to do this right.”
By the time he finished with her, Taffeta had climaxed so many times she’d lost count and was once again so aroused that her whole body throbbed with urgency. He’d left no part of her unattended. When he finally rose over her and thrust into her, she cried out, locking her legs around his hips and lifting her own to meet his thrusts. Barney. Darkness veiled her eyes, leaving her able to see only starbursts. She soared higher and higher, clinging to him as if he were her only anchor.
They climaxed together, their rhythm growing faster, the thrusts harder. He drove deep into her, the tempered, pulsating length of him connecting with pleasure points inside her that she hadn’t known she possessed. They peaked together and spiraled over the edge into shared oblivion. When he groaned and lowered himself to lie beside her, Taffeta felt as if every bone in her body had dissolved.
Barney held her close in his arms, their legs intertwined, skin slick with sweat. He pressed his face to her hair, tightened his embrace, and murmured, “Where have you been all my life?”
“I was waiting for you,” she replied. “And I’d nearly given up on ever finding you.”
“You didn’t. I found you. And I’m sure glad I did.”
Taffeta was slowly coming back down to earth, and she wanted—no, needed—Barney to know that she wasn’t in bed with him out of a sense of obligation or gratitude. “I’m falling in love with you, Barney Sterling.” In truth, Taffeta knew that she’d already taken the leap, but she sensed that Barney needed time to accept the sudden shift in their relationship. “Last time, you didn’t believe me when I told you that I had a crush on you from the first time I saw you—or that I fantasized about being with you. But it’s the truth. You can call it a lonely woman’s solution to needs that couldn’t be fulfilled, but you were the man I imagined dancing with—you and only you.”
His embrace tightened. “I have feelings for you,” he confessed. “But I’m not ready to put a name on them yet. Maybe I never will be.”
“And that’s fine. Feelings are very individual. I won’t be the first woman to fall in love with a man who can’t love her back. I’m an adult. I understand the risks. But no matter what your feelings are toward me, you shouldn’t feel guilty about being with me. I want to make love with you, and that is my choice to make. Right?”
• • •
Barney’s heart caught. Love was a word that a lot of people said without meaning it. He had never told a woman outside his family that he loved her, and he wasn’t going to start with Taffeta. He cared for her. He enjoyed her company. She was a very special person, and he couldn’t help wondering if he had finally found his one true love. But it was too soon for him to know that for certain.
He sensed that she was waiting for him to say something, and he wasn’t sure what. He fell back on the truth. “I care about you. As far as romantic relationships go, I care more about you than about any woman I’ve ever known. But I’m not sure it’s love, at least not the real, forever kind.”
“It’s okay, Barney. Knowing you care for me is enough for now. I’m happy to wait and see where that leads us.”
• • •
For the next week, Barney and Taffeta continued to be seen together in town, only now the romantic gestures were no longer an act, and when they got home, they hurried either to his room or to hers to tear off each other’s clothes and fall into bed. For Barney, the sex was out of this world, the absolute best he’d ever had. Some nights they went for seconds or thirds, unable to get enough of each other. He’d never dated the same woman twice and had laughingly told his brothers that he was a love-’em-and-leave-’em kind of guy. But the truth was that, until meeting Taffeta, he’d never hungered for a woman after he’d been with her once. That first night, Taffeta had referred to herself as his appetizer, and she hadn’t called it wrong. She was a delicious morsel that only whetted his appetite for more. Though each time with her left him totally sated and limp with exhaustion, the moment he recovered physically, he wanted her again.
One night in the throes of passion, Barney nearly blurted out that he loved her. He managed to bite back the words in the nick of time. This was a new experience for him. He had never felt compelled to say those words to a woman.
The next day during his lunch break, Barney dropped by his older brother Ben’s place to say hello. Ben, a rodeo broker who leased out livestock that he raised and trained for competition, was on the road a lot, following the circuit to make sure his animals were kept safe and treated humanely. If any guy on earth had a heap of experience with women under his belt, it had to be Ben.
When Barney pulled up at Ben’s place, he saw his brother exit an outdoor horse stall attached to the indoor riding arena. Ben closed the gate and jogged across the yard toward Barney’s truck. Of late, Ben had looked worn-out every time Barney saw him, but today there was a new bounce in his step. Barney swung out of his truck.
“Hey, bro, you been overdosing on vitamins?” he asked with a laugh.
Ben grinned. Like all the Sterling men, he was tall and deceptively slender with a loose-jointed stride, but when he stripped off his shirt, he had a body on him that most weight lifters might envy. “Nah, just having a good day,” he replied. “I’m sick-to-death tired of being on the road all the time, and this morning I decided to think about making some changes.”
“What kind of changes?” Barney asked as he followed his brother toward the house, a one-story farm home much like his own, which Ben had renovated. “I figured you’d be stuck in the same rut until you retire because the money’s so good.”
Ben threw open the front door and led Barney to the kitchen. “Can you cheat for once and have a beer while you’re on duty?” he asked as he opened the fridge. “I’ve got some nice brews.”
Barney seldom drank anything alcoholic while working. “What the hell? Why not? My whistle needs wetting, and one beer won’t hurt.”
Straddling a stool at the bar, Barney watched Ben snap off the beer caps. Each of them took a long pull from their sighed in appreciation. “So why the sudden desire to make some changes in your life?” Barney asked.
“I’m tired,” Ben admitted. “My horse trailer with living quarters is nice. Hell, with two slide-outs, who can complain? But it’s not the same as being at home, not the same as having a wife and kids, not the same as having people besides parents and siblings who give a shit about me. I think I’m about ready to settle down and give Mom another grandchild.”
Barney felt as if he’d just been blindsided. “You? I thought your motto was to stay footloose and fancy free.”
“Has been,” Ben agreed. “And I’ve enjoyed it. Buckle bunnies totally turn me off, but I’ve met some nice women with good heads on their shoulders during my travels.” He shrugged. “One-night stands get old, though. I’m ready for something permanent.”
Barney’s radar alerts went off. “You’ve met someone.”
Ben laughed. “Correction. I’m shopping. I have sighted in on an interesting prospect, but even when I try to be friendly with her, I can’t get to first base.”
“Who?”
Ben took another slug of beer. “Her name is Sissy Sue. God. It sounds like something from Hee Haw. Remember when Mom and Dad used to laugh themselves sick over those silly old reruns? But that’s her name, Sissy Sue. She’s prettier than the sunrise, the sunset, and everything in between.”
“Sissy Sue Bentley over at the Cauldron?”
Ben arched his eyebrows. “You know her? Maybe you can give me another introduction. I met her in Taffeta’s shop last week. But when I go into her place for dinner at night, she acts like I have head lice.”
Barney had come here for some advice from Ben. Wasn’t that just the way it went with brothers? When he needed a few words of wisdom whispered in his ear, his brothers upstaged him with problems of their own. “I think Sissy Sue has been through some really hard times, Ben. If you’re interested in her, don’t rush her and don’t lose your patience.”
“What kind of hard times?”
Barney sighed. “I can’t say for sure. I only know that I’m a damned good judge of people after being in law enforcement, and Sissy Sue sends off signals to me that life hasn’t treated her kindly. She reminds me a lot of Taffy. I think that if they ever got to know each other, they’d have a lot in common.”
“I’m a little old for her,” Ben mused aloud.
“Hello, you’re barely dry behind the ears,” Barney said with a laugh. “And I have a feeling that Sissy is one of those people who is older than she seems. Life can do that to some of us. Have you ever seen photos of starving children in some undeveloped country and looked deeply into their eyes? They have wisdom way beyond their years.”
Ben nodded. “And you think Sissy is like that?”
Barney sighed. “Could be I’m wrong, but yes, that’s how she comes across to me. Sometimes I stop at the Cauldron for a quick meal when I’m working. Eating alone, you have nothing better to do than watch people, and I always end up observing Sissy as she deals with customers. She’s watchful and a little edgy with men, more relaxed with women.”
Ben frowned as he assimilated that bit of information. “I’ll bear that in mind.” As his expression cleared, he focused on Barney. “What’s up with you? You rarely show up here just to chitchat. You must have had a reason for dropping by.”
Barney noted that his family members all seemed to think visits from him were rare. He needed to work on that. But for the moment, he just took another slug of beer. “I think I may be falling in love. Only how can a guy know if it’s the real deal? Have you ever been in love?”
Ben grinned. “If I’d ever been truly in love, I’d be married. When I find the right lady, I sure as hell won’t let her get away.” Then his humor faded. “It sounds to me as if you’re in one hell of a pickle, Barney. I know your marriage to Taffeta isn’t permanent, but you’re legally bound to her until she regains custody of her daughter. Have you told her that you’ve got your eye on another woman?”
Barney couldn’t help laughing. “I haven’t got my eye on another woman, Ben. I think I’m falling for Taffeta.”
Ben blinked, peered into the mouth of his beer bottle as if all the answers to the mysteries of the universe might be found there, and then lifted his gaze. “What’s so bad about falling for your wife? I’m sorry. I don’t see the problem.”
“How can I be sure I’m in love with her?” Barney asked. “She’s wearing her heart on her sleeve. I don’t want to hurt her. I need to be certain of my feelings and not lead her on.”
Ben studied Barney as if he were a strange insect he’d never seen. “You remember when you decided to build that bookcase when you were seventeen? You took your own money and went into town to buy the wood. It had to be your own design. You sat out in the garage and stared at the boards for a whole damned week! You drew sketches and then you threw them away. Dad nearly went apeshit crazy, waiting for you to actually start. You think everything to death, Barney. You always have.”
“Yep, and I still have that bookcase. It’s awesome.”
“I have to admit it’s nice. And thinking about it paid off. When you finally committed to making a saw cut, you knew exactly what you wanted. But just remember one thing, okay? Women aren’t boards. They have feelings that run deep. You think it to death for too long, and she may be gone before you finally make up your mind.”
“I almost told her that I love her last night. But I want to be absolutely sure before I say those words.”
“You ever almost say them to another woman?” Ben asked.
“No.”
“Well, then,” Ben replied. “I reckon that should tell you something, bro.”
“For me, it isn’t that simple, Ben. Taffeta is a truly sweet and special lady. I’d never hurt her for anything in the world. If I tell her I love her and then realize later that I don’t, I could break her heart.”
Ben laughed and shook his head. “Would you just listen to yourself? I’ve never heard you speak so highly of a woman. You need to stop analyzing it to death and just go with your gut.”
Barney left Ben’s feeling as if he were standing on the edge of a cliff and about to get pushed off. People didn’t fall in love overnight. It took time to know a woman well enough to truly love her. Right? He thought of his parents, who had gotten married shortly after they met and had been happy together for years. Maybe Ben was right and Barney was trying to rationalize an emotion that was inexplicable.
• • •
Another week passed, and every night, Taffeta experienced intimacy with Barney that grew increasingly more mind-blowing. During the day, she could think of little else but the coming evening. Would it be as good again, or would he suddenly do the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am” and leave her yearning for satisfaction? At the end of each shift, Barney continued to drive home, sweep her up into his arms, and make love to her as if he were on a mission to show her what true lovemaking should be like.
On the following Wednesday morning as Taffeta was opening her shop, she realized that it had been over a week since Bud Pierce, her private investigator, called her with an update on Sarah. He normally called every Monday without fail. Taffeta had been so focused on Barney that she’d lost track of time. What kind of mother was she?
During a lull in business, she skipped dusting shelves, which was a never-ending task, perched on the stool behind the counter where she sat to make out orders or do the books, and dialed the man’s cell phone number. He answered on the fourth ring.
“Hey there, Ms. Brown. Sorry I’m late in calling, but things started popping over here.”
“Popping?” Taffeta’s heart leaped. “Is my daughter all right?”
The private eye chuckled. “She’s absolutely fine. She spent last night with her grandparents. I had just gotten off the phone with Sarah’s teacher when you called. According to her, Sarah says her daddy got tired of taking care of her, so she’ll be staying with her grandma and grandpa from now on.”
Relief washed through Taffeta. “That’s wonderful news!”
“Excellent news. And this whole situation is finally starting to make sense to me.”
“I’m not following,” Taffeta said.
“On the surface, it appeared that Phillip took Sarah because his mother was too sick to care for her and his father was stretched too thin. But that never really added up for me. Phillip isn’t exactly Daddy of the Year, and his father is a pretty wealthy man. If his wife got too sick to take care of their granddaughter, why didn’t he just hire a sitter? Instead Phillip took the kid.”
Taffeta frowned. She wasn’t sure where the investigator was going with this, but he definitely had a point. Cameron Gentry could easily have afforded to hire a sitter for Sarah, and he loved the child so much that Taffeta couldn’t imagine him hesitating.
“I know Phillip pretty well after tailing him for so long,” Pierce continued. “I don’t think he likes kids or wants anything to do with them. But suddenly he took the kid. Didn’t that ever strike an off-key note with you?”
“It does now,” Taffeta admitted. “At the time, I didn’t think about why Phillip suddenly took Sarah. I was so worried about what might happen to her that I didn’t think about much else.”
“Well, it always struck me as being strange,” the investigator replied. “I don’t think Phillip got a sudden dose of paternal instinct, and I sure as hell don’t believe that Cameron Gentry willingly dumped his granddaughter on his irresponsible son. I’ve thought about it and thought about it, and I’ll bet you a hundred bucks that Phillip tried to use Sarah as a bargaining chip.”
“A bargaining chip?”
“Yep. His father stopped giving him money. I think Phillip tried to put the squeeze on Cameron again, saying he would take the child if his dad didn’t give him a nice, fat check. And for once, Cameron stood his ground and called Phillip’s bluff for some reason. I’m sure he never dreamed that Phillip would follow through on the threat and take the kid. But that’s what happened. Cameron could do nothing about it. Phillip has custody, and grandparents in Oregon have no legal rights.”
Taffeta closed her eyes. There was no longer much of anything that she would put past Phillip, not even using his little girl to blackmail his father for money. “Oh God. You may be right, Mr. Pierce. Phillip probably took Sarah, believing that his father would grow frantic and change his mind about giving him more money.”
“And I don’t doubt for a second that Cameron did change his mind. But when he caved and decided to hand over the cash, Phillip realized that he had his father over a barrel and asked for even more. For reasons we may never know, Cameron couldn’t or wouldn’t pay him that much.”
“So Phillip got stuck with Sarah,” Taffeta concluded. “Knowing Phillip, he hit his father up for a couple of million or more. He would have known it would be his last chance to tap into his father’s savings.” Taffeta could almost picture it. Phillip was a selfish, greedy man. “What Phillip didn’t count on was his father saying no. Cameron would do almost anything for Sarah. But maybe Grace’s illness has him in a financial pinch. If he’s hiring nurses for in-home care, the expenses would add up fast.”
The PI chuckled. “So Phillip’s power play boomeranged on him, and he got stuck with his kid. Even for a guy who doesn’t give a rat’s ass, a child is a lot of trouble. Phillip couldn’t just leave her alone. He could have been arrested for neglect or child endangerment. When he realized that his dad wasn’t going to pay his price, he tired of the power play and took Sarah back to his parents’ last night.”
“I just pray she’s with her grandparents for good. I plan to appeal my conviction and regain custody, but the wheels at my end aren’t turning as quickly as I’d hoped.”
“Well, now it won’t matter how long it takes,” he said. “I know you miss your little girl, but at least she’ll be safe and happy with her grandparents. Like I said, I’ve been tailing Phillip. I was parked across the street last night when he took Sarah back to his folks’ place. He dumped all her clothes and toys on the porch, pushed her inside the house, and peeled rubber as he drove away. All indications are that he’s finished with fatherhood and all the inconveniences.”
• • •
After ending the call, Taffeta remained on the stool with her head resting on the heels of her hands. Safe, my little girl is safe.
Almost giddy, Taffeta had to resist the urge to jump, clap her hands, and laugh. She wished she could call Barney, but he was working. Whether he was driving the roads today or had desk duty, she knew he would answer if she dialed his cell. But it didn’t seem right to bother him. Telling him the wonderful news about Sarah could wait.
Business remained slow, so Taffeta began dusting the shelves and merchandise. Things collected a powdery film in only one day, so attacking one section of the shop at a time helped her stay on top of it. She was in the herbal supplement aisle when the bell over the door jangled. She pushed herself erect and saw Barney walking into her shop.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said with a grin. “I was on East Main, and I couldn’t resist stopping for a kiss.”
“Barney!” she cried. “I can’t believe you’re here! I have the most fabulous news!”
He took in her elated smile. “You just won the lottery, and we’re billionaires.”
Taffeta laughed. “Nope. It’s even better than that! Sarah is back with her grandparents permanently! Phillip took her home last night, and Sarah told her teacher this morning that her daddy is tired of taking care of her. From now on, she’ll be with her grandma and grandpa.”
“Ah, Taffy, that’s fabulous.” Barney closed the distance between them and grabbed her around the waist to twirl her down the aisle. She dropped her dust rag and threw both arms around his neck. “I know you’ve been worrying a lot about her,” Barney said. He stopped twirling to glance at the clock. “This calls for a celebration! A couple of deputies at the department owe me. I can get someone to cover for me and take the afternoon off. You can close the shop. Let’s go somewhere special and whoop it up.”
“I’d rather just go home,” she murmured. “Being alone with you is celebration enough.”
He searched her gaze. She felt a sudden hardness pressing against her. “That sounds wonderful,” he agreed, his voice raspy with desire. “I’ll stop by Flagg’s Market to get some nice wine and cheese.”
“I’ll run over to the Jake ’n’ Bake for a fresh loaf of bread.”
He grinned. “Last one home is a monkey’s uncle!”