CHAPTER 5

 Chicago was more than five hundred miles and at least a hundred years away from Mississippi. Even though there were no visible signs of discrimination outside the buildings in the North, there were subtle reminders just behind the facades.

It was 1947. I was twenty-five years old and working for the federal government in downtown Chicago before I finally began to show a little independence. I remember when I first started working, at age eighteen, my mother would travel with me to and from work each day. Even when she didn’t have a car, she would ride public transportation. But she would always be there for me, until the day she couldn’t and I had to work my way through it, find my way home. I feel like I grew a lot as a result. So, by the time I was twenty-five, I thought I knew my way around, at least between home in Argo and my job in downtown Chicago. The Loop was an exciting place to walk around. I loved to look in the department store windows and dream about the things I might buy myself, or Mama, or Emmett. One day I decided to stop dreaming, and I had a rude awakening. I walked into Marshall Field’s like I was Marshall Field. Like I knew my way around, at the very least.

So, I was surprised when the security guard stopped me. “Are you looking for something?”

I didn’t think I looked like I needed directions. And I really wouldn’t know what I was looking for until I found it. “Well, I was just going to do a little shopping,” I said.

He gave me a stern look. “Then you’ll have to go to the basement.”

Oh, no. Not here. Marshall Field’s had a reputation as a fine department store. I figured the only discriminating you’d find there was in taste. There were no signs, so how could I have known that I was not welcome? The store motto was “Give the lady what she wants.” I guess if the lady was black, though, they would have to give it to her in the basement. I just turned on my heels and took my business down the street, to Carson Pirie Scott and Wieboldt’s, and down to the South Side to the black shopping mecca at Sixty-third and Halsted streets. That was the last time I would shop at Field’s for nearly twenty years. And when I finally went back, I didn’t go to the basement.

The way I looked at it, discrimination was somebody else’s problem: It was the problem of the person who was doing the discriminating. In this case, Field’s didn’t get my business, and I always loved to shop. But I had choices and I would make sure my son had choices. In the community where we lived, the kind of problem I ran into when I walked into Marshall Field’s just would not occur. Not since Louis and I integrated Berg’s. People there wanted our business, and our friendship. And that’s all Bo would know. In time, he would also know whites, children in school, even adults he would do business with. We made sure he would never be self-conscious around them. He would not see the signs, or the attitudes behind the facades. For him, they would not exist. There would come a time, though, when that strength would make him vulnerable.

During this same period, Mama took Emmett on his second trip to Mississippi to escort Aunt Lizzy back to Money after an extended visit in Argo. While they were down there at the home of Aunt Lizzy and Uncle Mose, Bo borrowed a hammer from the white plantation boss. He wanted to work on something. Little Bo was always working on something. After some time, the man came back to ask for his hammer.

Bo looked up at him. “Just a minute,” he said. “I’m not finished yet.”

Mama rushed in to handle the situation. The man got his hammer. Mama got Bo out of there.

People in Argo valued our family for so many reasons. But most of the reasons were Mama, and the way she could step in and handle situations. In addition to running her one-woman settlement house, my mother was the people’s choice for all kinds of advice. If she had been a man, she might have been considered the “Godfather” of Argo. When people had problems, they brought them to Alma Gaines. She had remarried by this time, Tom Gaines, after she and my father divorced. And she could draw on that experience to counsel neighbors on family problems. She was a walking resource, who pointed people to social services when there was a need, and she always led them in the direction of her church. It was no surprise, then, that she was able to get so much help when it came time to sell fish sandwiches door-to-door or anything else that might be needed to raise funds for the church. Fifteen cents a sandwich. The bricks came from the streetcar tracks removed by the town. The Argo Temple Church of God in Christ was Mama’s heart and soul. It had been organized right there in our home. Mama was into community building.

By 1947, my cousins Hallie and Wheeler Parker decided they were ready to leave Mississippi and bring their three children north. Hallie wrote to Mama and asked her whether she could help them with the move. Wheeler Senior had already come up to scout around. Of course Mama would help. In fact, there was a place right next door to us that had been available for some time. It was the house where my uncle Crosby Smith had lived with his family. For some reason we never really understood, Uncle Crosby had decided to move back to Mississippi a couple of years earlier. Everybody else was coming the other way about that time, but he wanted to go back. Anyway, an elderly couple had occupied the place for a while, but it had been vacant since they died. It was empty so long, in fact, that people had time to start inventing stories about the place. They declared they could see the elderly couple walking around at night, and nobody wanted to run into those ghosts. So the place stayed vacant for a while. But my mother brushed all that off, and the Parkers didn’t know about it, so they moved in.

They never saw a single ghost. But, with three boys, Wheeler Junior, William, and Milton, the Parkers began to see as many kids hanging out at their house as we did next door. Bo became friends with all the Parker boys, but he and Wheeler developed a special relationship. Wheeler was seven at the time, two years older than Emmett, but they had the greatest time playing together. Even though I didn’t always approve of their games. Their relationship started out as a sort of back porch kind of thing. It was one porch to the other. Ours was high with a railing and Wheeler’s porch was much lower. I couldn’t believe it when I saw those boys standing up on my railing and jumping down and across the way to Wheeler’s porch. I guess they figured it was a shortcut, but that was so frightening to me. They could have fallen and broken something. An arm, a leg, anything.

When I called out to them to stop, Emmett tried to make me feel more comfortable. I guess that’s what he thought he was doing. “Aw, Mama, nothing to it,” he said. “Look.”

Then, to my amazement, he did it again. Finally, I got tired of looking. I got tired of talking. I got me a switch and tanned his little legs. That broke up the jumping for both of them, since Wheeler also learned a lot from Bo’s lesson.

There was another time I had to get after Bo for taking chances. I had told him not to play around an abandoned garage in our neighborhood. But boys always have a sense of adventure about such things. They seem to be drawn to them. Word got back to me that he was playing around that place again. Word got to him that I was on my way, to give him a spanking. He rushed and made it home down the back way while I was headed for that garage the front way, down our street. By the time I realized what had happened and made it back home, he was already there, acting like he had been there all along. Except that he was breathing hard from running all the way home.

Bo loved to fish with Mama. Wheeler would go along with them sometimes to a spot along the Des Plaines River nearby. The boys would set up their poles at a bend where Mama could keep an eye on them. But, while she could still see their poles set up there, lines in the water, the boys were slipping just out of sight around that bend, where they could splash at the water’s edge. Scaring away all the fish. One time, though, Emmett managed to catch one. Mama had shown him how to reel it in and yank it out of the water. But he hadn’t quite worked the whole thing out yet. He was beside himself with excitement, and maybe his coordination was a little off to begin with. He managed to yank the fish out of the water, all right, just as he had been taught. But he couldn’t hold on to it. The fish fell to the ground and got dirty. Well, Bo could not stand dirt on anything. So, he picked up his prize catch with his chest all puffed up, so proud of what he had done. He walked right up to the edge of the river and dipped the fish to wash it off. Well, in the river is exactly where a fish wants to be. That little thing just wriggled out of Bo’s hands and swam away. Bo fell back on the riverbank and he and Wheeler were left there with so much laughter. That, and a fish tale.

Sometime during the summer Emmett turned six, I noticed something very odd. He always played hard and he played all the time. At least, he wanted to play all the time. First thing I saw when I got home from work was Emmett, ripping and running. Well, I thought when I got home it was time for him to come in. I figured he had been out most of the day. Naturally, he didn’t agree, and he would pitch a fit. By the time we settled him down inside, he would just completely deflate. That’s what was so odd to me, because Emmett always seemed to have unlimited energy. Mama blamed me for upsetting him by bringing him in. As far as she was concerned, this was just a childish reaction to me making Emmett do something he didn’t want to do. Within a couple of days, we started to realize there was a more serious problem. He would be active all day and then fall into this slump at night when I’d force him inside. But there was more. His temperature was beginning to soar at night.

Strange. He seemed just fine during the day, then at night, he would fall into a slump; he would be so lethargic. And now, a high temperature. We couldn’t figure it out. I searched high and low to find fault, to find a place to lay blame. I mean, someone had to be blamed. Someone had to be responsible for this, whatever “this” was. My mother was the most responsible person I knew. So I blamed Mama. I thought she wasn’t paying enough attention. Bo would get up in the morning and want to get out right away, every day. She would just let him. He was only a baby, not even six years old. How could he really know what he wanted to do? Mama told me what to do. I had no choices. But she was so light on him, so lenient. As far as she was concerned, he could do no wrong. But something was wrong with this situation. Something was very wrong.

We started using home remedies, rubbing him down with goose grease and serving him hoof tea. We set a lot of stock by this stuff. These remedies were supposed to cure a lot of things. I never knew why or how. I didn’t even know what kind of hoof came in that little box of hoof tea. All I knew was that we would wash it, then boil it, strain it, and the poor fellow would have to drink it. No sugar. Horrible taste. The goose grease was rubbed all over his body. I didn’t know what this was supposed to do, either. I just knew that all our folks from Mississippi used it. It might have been uncomfortable, but Emmett put up with the goose grease. At least he didn’t have to drink it.

He wasn’t showing any improvement with our home remedies. In fact, he seemed to be getting worse. We finally decided we better call the doctor. This was when doctors would still make house calls. After examining Emmett, the doctor gave us the diagnosis that broke my heart: polio. I felt ill. Mama nearly collapsed. Polio was the worst thing that could happen to you back then. It didn’t kill you, but it could take your life away from you just the same. It was sneaky and it was controlling and it scared people nearly to death. But we didn’t have time to think about that right then. The doctor urged us to rush Emmett to the hospital immediately. We didn’t have a car at the time and couldn’t get anyone to drive us. We were desperate. A private ambulance even turned us down. Finally we were able to get Bo to the hospital in a police squad car.

This was pure agony for me. We had no way of knowing what to expect. All we had was a vision of what might be in store. In those days, you would see the casualties everywhere. Children, mostly, in iron lungs because their own muscles had failed them. Wheelchair-bound children whose legs had shriveled, or with different forms of paralysis. And then there was my son. What was to become of little Emmett? I had defied the doctors who told me he would be crippled for life following the complications at birth. We got through that. Now there was this.

The doctors at the contagious disease center weren’t able to tell us anything reassuring at first. In fact, what they were telling us was anything but reassuring. What we heard from the medical specialists was talk about permanent limb damage, and the possibility that Emmett might be disabled for the rest of his life, and, oh, my God, there was just so much to absorb.

We turned to prayer. We prayed hard. I had heard this kind of talk from doctors before. I didn’t accept it then, and I couldn’t bring myself to accept it now. We tried to figure it out. Where had this come from? It was often hard to tell with polio. As far as we knew, no one in Argo had been diagnosed. Our best guess was that Emmett must have been exposed to it in a pool. But we never really knew. So, we kept praying.

Emmett had to be quarantined at home. We could go out, but he had to stay in, and no one else could come over. We kept praying. There were good signs. Emmett’s little legs and arms were still moving and our baby didn’t seem to have any brain damage. We were overjoyed. I mean, we were so grateful. He was recovering, he really was. His only problem was keeping still. Mama had to sit with Emmett all the time, practically holding him in the bed. And he just couldn’t stand that. But that was a good sign. I called constantly from work to check, and I looked after him when I got home at night. Then, on one of his regular visits to our home, the doctor finally discharged Emmett. It had been thirty days, and Emmett had recovered. He had beaten it. He was up and running again and practically tore a hole in the screen to get out.

After Emmett’s recovery, I remember we went to church one night. Mama testified how God had brought her baby through. And the whole church just started shouting. It was such a wonderful, “glory hallelujah” time. I heard Mama’s testimony, saw the church just going up in thanks, and, as the congregation rose, all I could do was sit there and cry. Tears of joy.

Although it was a great relief to learn that Emmett hadn’t lost any of his motor skills, it wasn’t long before we noticed a related problem. It was devastating to us. Emmett’s bout with polio had caused some muscle damage after all. He was left with a speech defect. He stuttered. It was especially bad when he got excited or nervous. It could just take over at times in those early days. Nobody could understand him. Nobody but Mama and me. We knew what this could mean and we refused to accept it. We were very proud people, and we didn’t want anything to stand in the way of Emmett’s success. We didn’t want him held back because of people’s prejudices, because they might hear him speak and think he had limitations.

Good speaking skills had always been important to Mama. She was a very proper and dignified lady. She had an aunt named Rose Taliafero. Actually, I think it was Tolliver and she changed it to Taliafero. But, anyway, she worked in the political arena with the black Chicago congressman, Oscar DePriest. And Mama fell completely under the spell of Rose Taliafero, who was a lady’s lady, and who placed a heavy emphasis on appearance and speech. The kind of person who said “to-mah-to.” That was “Ant.” And every time somebody would say something incorrectly, Ant was right there to stop him in his tracks, back him up, and make him repeat the phrase correctly. Ant was a lady of grace, charm, and, above all else, first impressions. Mama knew what she had learned from Ant, that people judge you by the way you present yourself, and that those judgments can be very important for your success in life.

We couldn’t bear the thought that Emmett might somehow be misjudged for something that was not his fault. So we worked on that problem very hard. We started taking him to doctors, to clinics. I would have to take him on Saturdays, and we had to travel quite a way by streetcar. Oh, that was rough. But it was for Bo, and we kept at it. In the end, the doctors couldn’t find a remedy, although speech therapy helped. They said he would outgrow it. It seemed we had little choice but to wait. Even so, we would never stop trying to help. In the meantime, we would do everything we could to keep Emmett’s outlook strong and positive. That wasn’t hard at all. It was becoming clear to us that there was no problem Emmett wouldn’t try to solve, no difficulty he wouldn’t try to overcome. And, somehow, he would always maintain his sense of balance, and his sense of humor.

From the very beginning with Emmett there was laughter. He could find a way to enjoy himself in most situations. He was always trying to entertain me with jokes he picked up, early on from his uncle Emmett, who lived across the alley. Uncle Emmett would tell him a joke, then he would run back home to tell me. Oh, gee, I heard about more chickens crossing more roads, and knock-knock this and knock-knock that. All those tired, old jokes that were still so new to him. Sometimes, he would tell riddles that he seemed to have been making up, because they didn’t make sense. Or maybe you just had to be six years old to get them. He had the right style of joke telling. He would raise his voice just at the right time and punch the ending like he must have heard Uncle Emmett doing, and then it just didn’t make sense. But you would laugh just as he must have been laughing at jokes that weren’t making sense to him yet. After all, it was the laughter that was important. For Emmett, life was laughter and laughter was life-giving. There was so much joy in his carefree world that he just wanted to share with everyone around him. He did it the only way a young boy knows how to do it. He made people laugh.

Emmett couldn’t wait to start school, and we were encouraged by that. As it turns out, he wanted to be with his friends who were going. Wheeler was ahead of him by a couple of years, and Bo just had to be with Wheeler. After all, Wheeler was his idol. Almost every day, Emmett wanted to know why he couldn’t go to school. It wasn’t enough to explain to him that he wasn’t old enough, that he would be going in September. What sense does that make to a little boy? But when school was ready for him, he was ready for school. Mama had been tutoring him all along. My mother had been a teacher in the South. She didn’t have a college degree. She came up in a simpler time. Among black people back then, if one person was ahead of the group, that person became the teacher. Mama was that person. And although she hadn’t been trained, she had strong values and she recognized the value of good education. And that’s the way it worked.

When Bo was about to start, we talked to him. We always stressed discipline. And we told him what an important thing it was to start school. We let him know that he was getting to be a big boy now. He had to take it all seriously; he was not going to school to play. We told him he was going to school to learn all he could learn so that, when he became a man, he would have something to depend on. This was the kind of encouragement we kept giving him. And we figured that it would sink in over time. But, at that moment, just before his first day of school, an excited boy as young and playful and sociable as Bo had to be thinking that school was the place where he could see all his friends most of the day. And that was all that mattered to him.

Mama and I had really enjoyed shopping for Bo’s clothes for the start of school. Mama talked me into getting some blue jeans, and we bought him shirts and shoes. I got him everything he needed. Of course. And then, when winter came, we had to fight. The boots and the heavier coats and sweaters, they were all fine. But the long underwear? No way. Oh, he complained, he protested. He didn’t want to wear those things. “Nobody else is wearing them,” he said. But he was no match for Mama. She ruled the roost. I remember how she made me wear long, white stockings in the winter. And I hated those stockings. She also made me wear long underwear, and then pull my stockings up over them. When I’d get to school, I would go straight to the washroom and I would pull the legs of those drawers up as high as they would go and then I would pull my stockings back up over my bare legs. Then I’d have to go to the washroom again at just about three o’clock every day.

One day the teacher couldn’t resist any longer. “Why is it that you have to go to the bathroom every day at three o’clock?”

She had gotten wise to me. Or somebody had told on me. It didn’t matter how she knew, she wasn’t letting me go. And that meant that I had to go home without readjusting myself, and face Mama. Bo wouldn’t stand a chance. Thanks to me and a teacher who wouldn’t let me go to the washroom, Mama knew all the tricks.

Emmett was always looking for something to do to make some extra money or get a treat. It started with the milk truck. Emmett would help the deliveryman carry bottles of milk from the truck to the front doors of all the customers on our block. Bo would wind up getting a bottle of chocolate milk for his troubles. The next thing I knew he was picking up bottles in alleys and collecting the deposits. He even ran down the hill to the train yard where the railcars were delivering coal to fire up the furnaces of the Corn Products plant. Coal would always fall off the coal cars. Bo had a scuttle. He’d pick up spilled coal, carry it back to our block, and walk up and down yelling, “Coal. Coal man. Coal.” He could sell a scuttleful for ten to twenty-five cents. Then he’d run back to the train yard to collect more spilled coal to sell. But his favorite “job” was ice delivery. He’d run ahead of the man on the ice truck, knock on doors, and take orders from the houses. Then he would tell the iceman how much each customer would buy. Twenty-five pounds here, fifty pounds there. Bo actually even tried to carry a twenty-five-pound block of ice once. Just once. The iceman appreciated the help. He liked Bo and gave him a chunk of ice wrapped in a little rag for him to enjoy on the hot days. But that wasn’t all. He also paid Bo a quarter.

A strong sense of responsibility was an important quality to have back in Argo, when Emmett was coming up. In a way, our section of town was a community of immigrants. That’s what we were, really, all those black folks from the South. People coming to a strange, new land—the land of milk and honey—in search of the kind of grand opportunities they would never have back home. There is always something special about people like that. They don’t look back. They don’t let anything stand in their way. Every day, the people in our little Argo community could see the Corn Products plant spread out there on the horizon, dominating our landscape. It stood there as a constant reminder that the gateway to a better life was hard work. So, even those folks who had no jobs worked in whatever way they could to make a way for themselves. Bo saw them, he watched them, he learned from them. Now, a six-year-old boy really doesn’t need a job. And, with everything we gave Bo, he certainly didn’t need money. What he did need, though, was a sense of his place in his world. A sense of belonging. And to belong, you had to make a contribution. Making a contribution had its value, but it also had its rewards. At the time, for little Emmett, that reward was only twenty-five cents. But it was a good start.