Martha jumped out of the taxi and smiled widely when she arrived at the Millers’ house. It was amazing how she felt right at home there. Then again, it had been her home all her life, but she also felt at home in the English world. Martha wondered if everyone who had been on rumspringa felt this way. She supposed most did.
Martha paid the taxi driver, but before she could walk to the house, a buggy came into view. She waited to see who it was.
She recognized David Yoder driving. With him was Mary, and his sister Jessie. Jessie’s expression was sullen, but that was normal for Jessie, Martha figured. Jessie had done her best to stop Jacob Hostetler marrying Martha’s sister, Esther, but now Jacob and Esther were married and expecting a boppli. Jessie had a reputation as a troublemaker. On the other hand, Mary was a delight. The bishop had sent Mary to help Mrs. Miller after the buggy accident, and she had stayed on in the community.
Mary wasted no time getting out of the buggy. “Martha!” she shrieked, running over to her. For a moment Martha thought Mary would envelop her in a large hug, but she restrained herself. “I’ve missed you, Martha.”
Martha chuckled. “I haven’t been away long at all.”
Mary turned to David. “Are you coming in for some lemonade?”
Jessie made a grunting sound. David cast a look at his schweschder. “Nee, I would like to, but Jessie needs to run an errand.” He pulled a rueful face and then clicked his horse into a trot. Mary watched as they drove away.
Martha had long wondered whether Mary had a little crush on David, and lately she was beginning to wonder if that crush was, in fact, reciprocated.
Mary caught Martha watching her and flushed beet red. “Did you just get here, Martha? Oh, silly me. Of course you just got here, because I saw you pay the taxi when we arrived. So how long are you here for? You’ve not finished your rumspringa already, have you? I mean, I know it’s rude of me to ask. Please forgive me.” She paused to catch her breath, and added, “But are you still on rumspringa?”
Martha laughed. “Jah, I’m still on rumspringa. It’s just that I changed into Amish clothes before I visited Mamm, so she wouldn’t be upset with me.”
“Your mother is not upset with you for going on rumspringa, surely?” Mary asked. “Everyone goes on rumspringa. I know Hannah and Esther didn’t go on rumspringa and Rebecca says she doesn’t want to, so you must be the only Miller girl who has gone on rumspringa.”
Martha smiled and walked toward the house. She knew Mary chattered non-stop when she was nervous, and she wondered what had made Mary nervous now. Perhaps it was David Yoder. Aloud she said, “Did you have a good time at the Yoders today, playing with Pirate?”
Mary nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, Pirate is going ever so well. David is training him too, and his training is coming along nicely.”
By now, they had reached the Miller haus, and both girls walked inside. Mrs. Miller look particularly pleased to see Martha. “I suppose you’re not home for good?” she asked hopefully.
“Nee, Mamm.” Martha shot her mother a smile.
“Are you here for the day then?” Mrs. Miller asked.
Martha nodded. “Jah.”
Her mother clasped her hands. “Well then, you can help.”
Martha wondered how she could help her mother, given that Rebecca was still at home and Martha was still there helping her mother. Still, she dare not ask. She figured she would find out soon enough.
“We need to make funeral pies and prepare other food,” her mother said. “Mr. Hershberger went to be with Gott.”
Martha was surprised. “Oh dear. He had been ill for some time, hadn’t he?”
Her mother nodded. “Well, come on, the three of us can make funeral pies, and then Martha, you can visit your schweschder.”
“Which one?” Martha asked. “Hannah or Esther?”
“Esther needs some help,” her mother said. “She is suffering quite badly from morning sickness. It would be good if you could go to her house and prepare food for them to eat.” Mrs. Miller stopped speaking and appeared to be considering her words. She added, “Not that I think Esther is able to eat much, but Jacob certainly will. I’ll prepare some more ginger juice for you to take to her to settle her stomach. And make sure she eats some saltine crackers, because they will help keep the nausea away.”
“Jah, Mamm,” Martha said automatically. She wondered why her mother hadn’t asked her what she had been doing while on rumspringa, but that was no surprise. She could see Mary was desperate to know, but figured she wasn’t going to ask when Mrs. Miller was present.
Finally, Mrs. Miller went outside to the herb garden to gather some ginger for the juice. Mary wasted no time asking her. “Martha, quickly, tell me! What’s rumspringa like?”
Rebecca too appeared keen to know. “Do you dress like an Englischer? What’s it like?”
Martha held up one hand to stave off the barrage of questions. “It’s very different.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Obviously. What do you do?”
“I have a part-time job,” Martha said, and that brought gasps from the other two girls.
“Doing what?” Rebecca asked her.
“A cook in a café quite close to my apartment,” Martha told her. “The people are nice. Sheryl, my roommate, is nice too. And so is Gary.”
“Gary!” both girls shrieked in unison.
“He’s an Englischer, right?” Rebecca asked her. “Do you like him?”
Martha shook her head. “Nee, not like that. We’re just friends. Anyway, they don’t take any time preparing food and they put it in the microwave. Oh, I mean Sheryl does. I don’t know what other Englischers do, because I’m only speaking from my experience. She does everything in a hurry, but then she watches television for hours every night. She sits there and doesn’t move unless she gets up to fetch something to eat.”
“Have you used a microwave yet?” Rebecca asked her.
“No. It seems a little scary, to be honest.” She chuckled.
“What’s it like watching television?” Mary asked her.
“It was exciting at first, but it’s boring sitting there for hours watching it. I’m not used to being idle.”
A wistful look passed over Mary’s face. “I’d like to try being idle, at least for a time.”
Both Martha and Rebecca laughed. “Well, it’s different. That’s to be sure,” Martha said.
“Do you think you’ll be on rumspringa for a whole year?” Rebecca asked her.
Martha shrugged one shoulder. “I’m just going to play it by ear for now. I need to get my chocolate business going, and I haven’t done much work on it yet.”
“Well, it all sounds very exciting,” Rebecca said, just as Mrs. Miller barged into the room.
“What sounds exciting?” Mrs. Miller asked her.
“Martha being on rumspringa,” Rebecca said in a small voice.
Mrs. Miller waved a wooden ladle at her. “Nee, it is not exciting! Don’t you get any ideas, Rebecca. Of course, if you wish to go on rumspringa, then that is fine with me.” She pulled a face as she said it.
The girls exchanged glances and Mrs. Miller banged a few pots around. Martha knew that meant she was angry, but why she was angry, Martha had no idea. It was normal for the youngie in Amish communities to go on rumspringa. In most communities, rumspringa was the time when a youth left the community and was no longer subject to the usual rules. At the end of rumspringa, the youth decided whether to leave the community or to be baptized within the Amish.
Then it occurred to Martha that Mrs. Miller might feel badly toward rumspringa because Noah was on rumspringa when he lost control of his borrowed car on an icy road and hit the Millers’ buggy, leaving all the Miller girls with serious injuries. It had taken months for their injuries to heal, and Rebecca had been in hospital longer than the others. Martha slowly nodded to herself. Yes, that most likely was the source of Mrs. Miller’s dislike of rumspringa.
Mr. Miller came in the door. “Martha!” he exclaimed, a wide smile on his face. “It is gut to see you. Are you enjoying your rumspringa?”
Martha broke out into a smile. “Jah, Datt, I’m enjoying it so far.”
Mr. Miller smiled and nodded. “Are you staying for lunch?”
Mrs. Miller answered. “Yes, she is, and then she’s going to visit Esther.”
Noah came in the door behind Mr. Miller. Both menner walked over to sit at the big wooden dining table. Mrs. Miller pointed to Martha. “Martha, make yourself useful. Make us all some meadow tea. Bring out some whoopie pies and some sugar cakes. Rebecca and Mary, come; sit at the table now.”
Martha hurried alone to the kitchen to make meadow tea and fetch food for everyone. She realized her mother was punishing her, but she didn’t care. She enjoyed visiting with her parents, but this was no longer her way of life. She was going to be an Englischer now, and she very much doubted whether she would return from her rumspringa.
After Mr. Miller and Noah went back to the workshop, Martha helped her mother, Rebecca, and Mary make funeral pies. Martha knew that raisin pies had been around Amish communities for a very long time. As raisins were available at any time of year, a raisin pie could be made with scarcely a moment’s notice and did not require refrigeration. As people always brought food to funerals and viewings, raisin pies soon became a favorite at funerals and this lead to them being known as ‘funeral pies.’
Martha beat the eggs with a hand whisk, remembering when she had beaten the eggs at Sheryl’s with an electric beater. The beater sure was faster.
Martha put raisins, water, finely grated orange zest, and orange juice in a saucepan and waited for it to come to the boil so she could simmer it.
The hours passed quickly, and soon Martha found herself helping prepare lunch. Over lunch, Mrs. Miller asked Martha, “Are you going to the funeral?”
“I might be able to go to the viewing,” Martha said, “but I don’t know if I can go to the funeral because I have to work every morning.”
Her mother screwed up her nose in an expression of distaste.
“Now Rachel, leave Martha alone. She’s on her rumspringa, so it’s good that she came to visit us at all.”
Mrs. Miller shot a dark look at her husband from under her lashes. “Jah,” she said, not too happily.
The lunch, however, was a happy meal, with Mary entertaining everyone with stories of Pirate’s antics.
After lunch, Martha helped her mudder clear the plates away. “I’d best visit Esther now before it gets any later.”
“Jah,” Mrs. Miller said. “Here, take this ginger oil to her and see what you can do to help.”
As Martha drove the buggy to visit with Esther, she once more considered the two different ways of life. Perhaps it was good to do nothing and watch television, after all. Sheryl continually insisted it was relaxing. Martha found feeding the chickens relaxing and knitting relaxing, but she didn’t find television relaxing at all. “Maybe I’ll get used to it when I become more English,” Martha said aloud, smiling to herself.
“Oh no, not again.” Martha arrived with the bucket just in time. She placed the bucket on the floor under Esther’s face, and held back Esther’s hair. “That was a close one.”
Esther leaned her head back into the pillow.
“I brought a wet wash cloth for your head,” Martha added. “And Mamm sent ginger juice.”
“Denki.” Esther’s reply was breathless.
Martha arranged the cool cotton wash cloth on her schweschder’s head and walked to the window. From the second story window she could see much of the Hostetlers’ farm. There was no sign of Moses.
Martha wondered why Esther was suffering so poorly with morning sickness when Hannah had no morning sickness at all. It hardly seemed fair. At hearing her schweschder groan, she turned around. “Do you want something, Esther?”
“Nee, I just don’t want to feel sick anymore.”
Martha thought that being that sick day after day would be awful, but surely it would be all worth it in the end to have a boppli to hold in her arms. Martha shrugged. She dare not offer Esther any food. She had done that once already with disastrous results. Jacob had warned her never to mention food until lunchtime and never in the mornings.
Esther stirred again. “Denki for coming to look after me, Martha.”
“I’m glad to be of help.” Martha was indeed glad to be of help to Esther, but she was frustrated that she could not do any work on her business while she was away looking after Esther. There were so many things that she should have been doing. She had to return calls to the wholesaler to get quotes for buying her ingredients in bulk and then there were the packaging people to deal with. She had tracked down a place in California that made the foils that she wanted for her cream centers. There were so many loose ends and so many things to do. She took a deep breath that was bordering on a sigh and sat on Esther’s bed, leaning over her to straighten the wash cloth that was threatening to slip off Esther’s face.
“That’s fine, just leave it. I like it over my eyes.” Esther’s voice was weak.
Martha knew that morning sickness was a normal part of pregnancy for many women, but she couldn’t help but worry if the baby was all right. How will the baby get nutrients if Esther is hardly eating? she thought. I hope that I never have morning sickness. It was hard for Martha to see Esther so sick. It brought back bad memories of when they had the buggy accident and all her schweschders were injured. That had been a hard time for the whole familye and it was the cause of their mudder disliking the Hostetlers, but now, with Hannah having had twins, her mudder had made her peace with her in-laws, the Hostetlers.
Martha smiled as she recalled how Noah and Hannah had finally gotten married and now had two beautiful bopplin, a boy and a girl.
Esther’s voice broke into her daydreaming. “You don’t have to sit here with me on the bed, Martha.”
“Okay, I’ll go and get the midday meal ready for when Jacob comes home.”
As soon as the word meal came out of Martha’s mouth, she knew she had said the word she was warned never to say—and the effect was instant.
Esther flung the wash cloth from her head and lowered her head over the bucket again.
“I’m sorry,” Martha said in a very small voice.
Once Esther’s head was back on the pillow again, Martha said, “I’ll go now.”
Esther did not reply and Martha tiptoed out the door.
As soon as Martha entered Esther’s kitchen, she immediately felt at home. The kitchen was large and very much like the one in which she had been raised. The kitchen in Sheryl’s apartment was far smaller.
There were three loaves of bread, which Jacob said had been brought over this morning freshly baked by his mudder, Katie Hostetler. Mrs. Hostetler was delighted to have two kinskinner already, with Hannah’s twins, and with another on the way thanks to Esther. She had promised to bring over some beef stew the following day. Mrs. Hostetler was a kindly woman, and even more sympathetic as she herself had experienced severe morning sickness when carrying all four of her sohns.
Martha decided to make shoo-fly pies, and as there were plenty of apples, Martha thought she’d also make apple pies, and lots of lattwaerig, sweet, creamy, apple butter that would then be on hand for Jacob and Esther to spread on bread.
“How is she, Martha?”
Martha looked up to see Jacob standing in the doorway, his face white and drawn, and full of concern. “She’s sleeping now. Last time I checked on her, she said the nausea had gone and she was exhausted.”
Jacob’s face filled with relief. “Jah, the nausea seems to go around noon. The doktor said that morning sickness can last all day and night, and that the term ‘morning sickness’ is somewhat of a misnomer, but in Esther’s case, it actually does only last the morning. That said, sometimes it does come in another wave around dinner time if she smells meat cooking.”
Martha immediately swung around to the schnitz und knepp on the stove. “Oh dear, I have a lot of pork in with the dried apples and dumplings.”
Jacob waved her concerns aside. “That should be okay. There are about five or so hours in the afternoon when she’s fine.”
“Thank goodness. So you must be really excited and looking forward to the boppli.”
Jacob’s face lit up. “Jah, we’re blessed to be having a boppli so soon after we married. I’m so worried about Esther being sick, but the doktor said it happens to lots of women. Even the midwife said she’d had very bad morning sickness herself with all her kinner. Same with Mamm.” Jacob pulled out a chair from the dining table in the kitchen and sat down. “So how are you going, Martha?”
Martha was enjoying her busy day with Esther, because she didn’t have time to think of her own problems. Although her new job meant that she didn’t have to think about trying to find a new place to live and she didn’t have to think about her savings getting lower and lower, she suddenly realized she was somewhat alone in the strange and bustling world of the Englischers.
“I’m fine.” Martha laughed, but even she was aware that it was not joyous laughter. It was more of a forced cackle. “Don’t worry about me; I’m fine,” she repeated, not too convincingly.
“You sure now? I know it can’t be easy in the Englisch world by yourself with no one to rely on when you’re used to having the community around.”
“Jah, I’m noticing now that I’ve left, just how gut it is to have the community. They’re like one big familye.”
Jacob smiled at her, but his face looked worn and worried. “If you need anything at all, anything, you know Esther and I are here to help you, don’t you?”
“Jah, denki, Jacob.”
Jacob gave the table a slap with his hand. “Now I’d better go and see how my fraa is doing.”
“Lunch won’t be long. Sorry I didn’t have it ready in time.”
“You’re doing a wunderbar job, Martha.”
Martha smiled to herself as Jacob hurried up the stairs to see Esther. They are truly a good match, she thought. Esther is very blessed.
Both her schweschders had been blessed to marry such wunderbar menner and they were both Hostetlers, and bruders at that. Her friend, Mary, had teased her that she would marry another of the Hostetler boys. Martha considered Mary a little cruel, and at any rate, her mudder might not be happy if yet another of her dochders married a Hostetler. Her mudder did appear to be fine with the Hostetler familye now, and Martha did not want to do anything to jeopardize that.
Martha always knew she would get married some day, but getting married and being sick in a bed like Esther was for most of the day, was not something she wanted to do anytime soon. Besides, unlike her schweschders, she had career goals. Her chocolate business was going to become a global brand. She was sure of that. Maybe after she achieved success, she would think of marriage and bopplin, but not before then.
As Martha stirred the gravy on the gas stove, she compared the Amish life to the Englisch life she’d known so far. The Englisch life was fast paced and exciting, whereas the Amish life was slow, and seemed to be the same everyday. Martha was glad to have some color in her life at last.
Martha served the mashed potatoes with noodles and vegetables on the table, and just as she had laid it all out, Jacob came down the stairs.
“That was gut timing! It’s ready.”
“Denki, Martha.”
“Is Esther well enough to eat?”
Jacob shrugged. “She said she would try to eat a little. Mamm says it’s best if she tries to eat.”
“Excellent, I’ll take some up to her.”
As Jacob ate his food, Martha fixed Esther some food on a tray.
“Lemonade too. She likes lemonade,” Jacob said. “There’s some in the cooler.”
“Oh gut, she needs to keep her fluids up. She said that’s what the midwife told her.” Martha poured the lemonade into a glass, placed it carefully on the tray with the food and carried it upstairs.
“How are you now?”
Esther was sitting up a little higher propped up by pillows. “Oh, I’m sorry to be such a bother. This reminds me of the time when we were all hurt from that buggy accident.”
Martha placed the tray carefully on her lap and placed the lemonade on the nightstand. “I know.” Martha giggled. “I was just thinking that myself.”
“I don’t like to be a bother.”
“Nonsense, it’s no bother at all. Besides you might come and help me if I am like this in a few years.”
Esther smiled and said, “Of course I will.”
Martha did not add that it would be a great many more years before she would have bopplin. She was sure that she was the only girl in the community who did not want lots of bopplin. Nee, she was a career woman and two bopplin were as many as she wanted. She might even have an Englisch husband and he would definitely not be a Hostetler. Martha wanted to chuckle at her thoughts, but held in her laughter.
Moses Hostetler was a gut friend and if she wanted to marry an Amish mann, he would make a fine husband, but Martha wanted more out of life than any other Amish girl she knew.
“Is Jacob still here?” Esther asked.
“Jah, he’s downstairs eating.” Martha picked up the cold wash cloth off the bed to take downstairs. “Do you want me to go get him?”
“Nee, he’ll come and see me before he goes back to work.”
Martha nodded. “Do you want me to stay for a few days?”
“Nee, I’ve got Mamm coming tomorrow. She’s staying until I feel better. Mamm said that she had morning sickness just like I have, and when she got to fourteen weeks—bam! She woke up one morning and it was gone, and never came back. It was like that with all four of us, although Mamm said her morning sickness wasn’t as bad as mine.”
“I didn’t know that.” Martha was surprised to hear. Their mudder rarely talked about anything personal. Nevertheless, Martha was relieved, relieved that her mudder was going to look after Esther and relieved that she could finally get back to the huge pile of work that was waiting for her. She was even looking forward to seeing Gary Wright.
After Jacob ate what appeared to be a mountain of food, he said goodbye to Esther and made his way back to work.
“What are you doing, Martha?”
Martha swung around from the sink where she was washing the dishes, to see Esther standing there, with a little color back in her face. Martha quickly pulled out a chair from the table for Esther. “Sit here. Do you feel any better?”
“Jah, I always feel better at this time of day and then I think that I’m never going to be sick again. Then it starts again in the mornings.” Esther pulled a face. “Sometimes cooking smells make me a little nauseous as well.”
Martha patted Esther on the shoulder. “I’ll make us some meadow tea.” She was grateful to have this quiet time with her schweschder. Since Esther had married Jacob, they had hardly spent any time together at all, and it had been the same since their oldest schweschder, Hannah, had married. “Your boppli and Hannah’s bopplin will all be a gut age to play together when they get older.”
Esther patted her tummy, which was barely any bigger than normal. “Jah, Jacob and I want to have quite a few kinner.” Esther looked up at Martha. “What about you, Martha?”
“Do I want kinner?” Martha turned away from her to tend to the tea.
“Jah, or do you just want to sell your chocolates?” Esther chuckled.
“You must be feeling better if you’re able to laugh at me.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll be serious. I know you want kinner, but do you want to have many?”
“I’ll have to find a mann first, but I would like to have only two or three kinner, not a whole bunch.”
Esther nodded, and there was a twinkle in her eye. “I’ve hardly had any time to talk with you, but I remember you did mention that you’d met a nice Englischer. Is there anything happening with him?”
“No, not really. We’re just friends.” Martha found it hard to speak to any of her schweschders about dating an Englischer. They had never been on rumspringa, so they would never be able to understand the things that she was going through, or what it was like to date an Englischer. Englisch menner were so different to Amish boys.
“I see. That’s probably best. But what about Amish boys? Surely there’s a nice Amish boy you like?”
Martha set the cup of meadow tea in front of Esther and sat opposite her. “Nee, there are no Amish boys I like, not in that way.”
“Hmm. I thought you’d say that.” Esther looked up at Martha and chuckled. “I didn’t even know that I liked Jacob. It was just something that seemed to happen all of a sudden, even though I’d known him nearly my whole life. Don’t let an opportunity pass you by, Martha.”