Rojan:
Hekek waited for him just beyond the trees. “What did she say?”
“Surprise. They have one more inside the house.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I leaned in to kiss Jo’s cheek, and saw her sister peering from inside a closet.”
Hekek’s eyes gleamed. “How convenient. I knew there would be.”
Rojan nodded shortly. “They claim she’s been sick, but she may be able to come out tonight.”
“Sick? There have been no reports of illness on this planet.”
“No.” Rojan stared thoughtfully at the small cabin.
Hekek looked queasy. “You don’t suppose they do have one of those STDs, do you? You said Jo told you she was quite experienced...”
“I’m sure my friend Bajoc would have warned me away from his cousin-in-law if so,” Rojan said.
“Still, I’m listening to hear if they say she has the Snuffle-up-agus.”
“Syphilis-upagus.” His men couldn’t even keep their STDs straight. Not that they ever had reason to in the past, but those stories from the Helian Six males had scared them more than they’d admit.
“I’m not touching this one with a ten-foot pole.”
“You’re escorting her to the motrisse roast, so I can get her sister to myself. I don’t care if this one is as ugly as a hairy, stumpy Puritan, you better show up! That’s an order.”
Hekek grumbled under his breath, but he couldn’t disobey the order.
“What’s going on?” A voice behind them asked.
Both men whirled around to see Tristan, the leader of the planet, with his chubby purple offspring on his shoulders.
“We’ll be escorting the ladies to the motrisse roast tonight,” Rojan said. “So they are not attacked by crazy Puritans on their way.”
“Cuckoo!” His strange dropling made a circling gesture with one finger over her temple, then collapsed on her father’s head. She jerked once, muttered, “Cuckoo,” and played dead again.
Tristan patted her rounded knee. “I know, it was quite traumatizing for you.”
His offspring did not look traumatized. But she did play it up.
“I’d better get you back to the school to play with the others. We’re teaching her socialization,” Tristan said. “But I must confess, and don’t speak a word of it to my mate. I just have to sneak her out every now and then. I’m happiest with my little warrior.”
“Rawr!” Titi said and bit his horn.
“Daugh-ter,” he chided. “I told you your teeth are ineffective.”
He wandered off while his offspring chattered back at him.
“Let’s go see how the other males are doing.” Rojan glared at Hekek. He could do well to learn from his crew members, both of whom had turned on the charm and had winsome humans glued to their sides.
* * * * *
“WHAT WILL WE DO?” MOLLI wailed.
“I have an idea. We have to sneak down to the school. Let’s put on a disguise to get there. Rojan watches for me, you know.”
They wore floppy fedoras, sunglasses, and fur coats, which wasn’t much of a disguise since it was their own clothing. But the fur hid their forms, even though it was stinking hot during the short walk through the bright sun.
“What are we doing?” Molli begged on the way.
“I have a plan,” Joy announced. “And should you see Virginia and Tris before I do, let them in on it. We need to seduce the bounty hunters.”
Molli stopped dead in her tracks. “Are you insane?”
“No. If we can distract them, they’ll lose focus that it’s us they’re supposed to murder.”
“You are crazy.”
“I’m not. And they’re interested in us. Rojan was positively flirty when he walked me to Jannie’s earlier.”
“How do you know?” It was true, none of them had ever actually been flirted with.
“He said he wanted to see me. Alone.” She waggled her eyebrows for effect. Molli looked interested, so Joy came in for the kill. “And he said Hekek was sulking because you weren’t around for him to get to know.”
“What?! He did not.”
“He did. He’s noticed his friend Baub is smitten with Virginia, and Viktel hasn’t let Tris out of his sight.”
Molli gave a girlish giggle. Just like that, Joy knew she had her on her side.
“He can’t wait to meet you. Rojan said so.”
As they entered the school, they went straight into the younger student room. Diamond was inside with Titi and Reese.
“We need a pair of scissors,” Joy said, stripping off her sweltering furs.
Without a word, Diamond pulled a pair from the drawer and handed them over. Joy grabbed a fistful of Molli’s hair and snipped.
“Wha—?” A clump of hair dropped over her face. She stayed stunned, unmoving as if she didn’t want more of the cut hair to fall.
“What are you doing?” Diamond’s voice sounded horrified.
“Giving her bangs to hang over that braid until it falls off.”
“Oh,” Diamond said. “Great idea. Come here, Molli. Let’s angle those.”
Joy looked over at the children, who were staring at them.
“Titi pwetty.”
“Yes,” Joy agreed. Titi waddled over and plopped into her lap, where she could be closer to study the hair cutting. Reese seemed unperturbed and continued to play with his toys.
Diamond continued to fuss with Molli’s hair.
“Look.” Titi grabbed the sides of Joy’s face and pulled her close to her. She fluttered her lashes rapidly.
“You learned butterfly kisses. Did Pariah teach you that?” She smiled fondly at the memories of Pariah teaching the giggling girls when they were young.
“Yesss.”
“Oh, that’s sweet,” Molli said. “I remember Pariah used to do that to us when we were little. We giggled each night before bed.”
“That’s the memory I have.”
Diamond brushed Molli’s bangs downward. “We can put a bit of sticky water over the bangs to hold them in place. Maybe some salt mixed into the water to stiffen them. The bangs should hold up well until the unibrow finally falls off.”
“Are you sure about this?” Molli asked.
“Maybe you’ll need to wear a veil tonight,” Joy said. “Extra insurance. The kind we replicated for any funerals we may attend.”
“Those are no longer comfortable since we now have such an array of soft and silky fabrics. They’re stiff and itchy. And what if my new boyfriend should want to kiss me? How awkward is that? He won’t know if he should lift it...or if I should. Why, what if our hands bump together when we both try?”
“New boyfriend?” Diamond asked. “Who?”
“She hasn’t even met him,” Joy said. “She’s fantasizing a little.”
“Sounds like a lot. But a veil is a great way to keep him curious...and in his place. He’ll know a forward kiss is out of the question. As it should be on the first date,” Diamond said pointedly.
“Well, okay,” Molli said. “But I don’t want everyone else to get ahead of me. The other girls have these new guards chasing after them.”
“Everything should go slow,” Diamond said. “Each person is unique. And remember, if you’re looking for something permanent, slower moving relationships make longer-lasting relationships.”
“We don’t want relationships. We just want to sleep with them. We don’t have a lot of time,” Joy said, matter of factly. “They could kill us as soon as they discover who we are.”
“Are you sure you want to sleep with someone who can murder you?” Diamond sounded perplexed.
“Who else is there?” Joy asked.
“I don’t want to die a virgin,” Molli whimpered.
“Me eitherrrr,” Titi wailed.
Joy turned Titi toward her. “You’re fine. Stop listening to us. Give me a kiss and go color with Reese.”
Titi plopped a wet one smack dab on her lips and toddled off.
Diamond waited until she was out of earshot to speak. “Good point. On that note, Jannie’s down the hall. She has the older kids in session. Maybe she can give you a few pointers.”
“Yay! Straight from the horse’s mouth.” Molli squealed with delight, but Joy tried to hold her smile in place without grimacing.
“Come on,” Diamond said, getting up to go to the hallway. “Oh, you two behave,” she said offhandedly to the little ones still coloring on the floor. “Technically, they should be in the room with the other youngsters,” she whispered. “But they’re in time out. They just can’t keep out of trouble. I’ll put them in the other room in a minute.” She rounded the corner and stuck her head through Jannie’s doorway. “Do you have a minute? Joy—I mean Jo—and Mollificent are here.”
Jannie stepped out of the classroom, closing the door behind her. “Hi, my sexual protégés.”
“I better get back to Titi and Reese in the other classroom. They’ve been alone about fifteen seconds, which is fifteen seconds too long. Toodles!” Diamond finger waved as she entered her own room.
“Hi, Jannie of Arc.” Joy sighed. “Do you have time for a quick, ultra-fast lesson?”
“A lesson. Let’s see. I hadn’t really prepared...”
“Oh, anything will do,” Molli said eagerly.
Jannie thumped her temple. “Got it.”
Molli practically squealed.
“Lesson Number Two,” Jannie announced. “A man’s cock—“
Joy gasped, and looked around. Such vulgar language! It was somehow worse—and somewhat more titillating—than cursing.
“What? You never heard that word?” Jannie asked.
Joy shook her head, blushing.
“Oh. Well, a man’s privates...think of it—“
“It?”
Jannie leaned in to whisper. “The cock.”
“Oh.”
“—as bubblegum.”
“Because it’s pink?”
“Well, sometimes. Not in the case of Freijians. But that’s not what I mean. I mean, it goes in hard. It comes out soft. And it likes to be blown.” She giggled hysterically.
Joy blinked. “Which part was the lesson itself?”
“All of that! But especially the third part.” Jannie winked as if she imparted great wisdom, and wandered away.
“I don’t get it,” Joy whispered.
“Oh, I do. When you get their”—Molli glanced around quickly—“cock out of their pants, blow on it. Easy-peasy. Virginity lost.”