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Rojan:
The planet erupted in a complete frenzy with the stress of the mediation hearing. The small Quaker males, who had landed long before the sun rose, bellowed in their deep-toned voices, the human females shrilled in their high pitched voices, and the planetary offspring wailed with all the commotion.
Titi herself broke into song a couple times.
“Order! Order!” Commander Pritchard yelled.
One of the Mayor’s Council turned to sneer at him. “How can you be a proper mediator when you married one of our ex-Puritans? Doesn’t that make you biased?”
Pritchard looked down his nose at the tiny Quaker in question. “Good day, Mayor Peenis Jab. I brought you a present.”
“A present?” the mayor asked suspiciously.
Pritchard smiled. “Yes. Your wife.”
Mayor Jab’s mouth dropped. Along with the mouths of the other males on the council. It was simply unheard of for a female to leave their planet. But Millie was of the highest order, being the niece of the ruler of the planet. Their leader had taken a liking to his niece, and his favoritism showed. Anger Millie—and the ranking that was a man’s birthright could easily disappear.
“Everyone, please meet Millie Fagina.”
A door slid open, and a mysterious fog emitted from the elevator. When it dissipated, Millie and Pariah stood arm in arm. Sworn, die-hard enemies...banded together as tightly as best friends for this trial, instead of the bitter enemies they had been back when Pariah slept with Millie’s man.
Millie Fagina was a sight to behold. Tall and thin, she wore dozens of tiny jewels over her eyebrows in an extravagant, glittery shape that extended up her forehead. Her red hair was piled atop her head to give her even more height. She stood regally over the small Quakers, and for some reason, had no qualms about Pariah today. The two acted as long-lost friends, air-kissing each other, and fawning and cooing over each other’s outfits.
“Fagina! My dear,” Peenis croaked. Millie glared at him as she deliberately turned her head away from him in an obvious snub.
“Millie! Your time with Pariah served you well. You both look divine. Mayor Jab was just questioning my authority as mediator for the upcoming trial,” Commander Pritchard said smoothly. “Since I am married to your best friend Pariah, an ex-citizen from your planet.”
Millie raised a jeweled eyebrow. “I would think that gives us more of an edge. Who knows our business better than someone who knows our culture, our planet, our people? Don’t you agree, Peenis?” Her voice dropped a few degrees when she turned her attention to her husband.
Peenis squirmed uncomfortably. His affair with Pariah was well known to all except her uncle, and he would forever grovel to keep it that way.
“If you think so, my dear.”
“I do,” she snapped as if he was the world’s biggest idiot.
“Then let’s carry on,” Commander Pritchard said. “The temporary housing unit we used as a barn for the ball shall suffice as a courtroom for now. The Helian Six crew have amended it with seating. Please, lovely ladies, this way.” He held out both of his arms, one for Pariah and one for Millie.
Rojan took care to escort the grumbling Quaker males, who had been unarmed by his guards before landing. One of the vile creatures had something embedded where the sun didn’t shine. Upon making the fool remove it, they discovered it was simply a toy. Disgusting breed.
As they entered the room, several gasps hit at the sight before them. A gilded cage had been set up to contain the four Puritans. Red velvet covered the floor inside, with large, silken pillows embroidered in gold tossed about. The Puritans lounged on the pillows in their sheer belly dancer outfits—which Joy called her I dream of Josie outfit.
Joy was beautiful in her emerald green coverings. The skirt parted in several strips, revealing pale, shapely legs. Velveteen slippers covered her tiny feet, and the same matching material covered her feminine areas for privacy, whereas every other bit of skin showed through the gauzy veil coverings. Like Millie, glitter adorned her forehead and kohl-lined her eyes. She never looked more sultry, more sexy, more glorious.
Her sisters surrounded her, complementing her coloring with the variety of theirs. Virginia stood out in a deep blue with lighter blue, sheer veils. Molli looked radiant in a pink that matched the rosy hue of her lips and cheeks, but with darker burgundy velvet that teased at her womanhood. Beatrice shone in bright yellow; the perfect foil for her dark hair. She’d added a rich gold glitter to her eyelids that sparkled when she blinked. The females wore their hair in intricate braided knots as they relaxed like goddesses, draped gracefully over the velveteen pillows.
“They should not have their skin showing!” Peenis barked. “And material luxuries? Bah! They should be on the concrete flooring.”
“How dare you cage our Puritans!” Millie screamed at the same time, drowning out her husband’s voice. “Those poor women! To suffer so. You are the faces of anguish, my dears. An inspiration to women everywhere to stand strong and fight for our rights.”
Peenis grew quiet. “I was just wondering if that sheer material was too harsh for their sensitive skin, my dear. It looks a bit scratchy.”
“Let’s have order in the court,” Pritchard said. “Everyone please take a seat.”
The snipers from Echo Nine each stood outside a corner of the cage, standing with their backs to the lazing females.
Pritchard continued. “From what I understand, Echo Nine has been commissioned to return the Puritans to their home planet, but the Puritans refuse. Their claim is that they no longer have a home planet, as they were previously banished.”
Peenis glared at one of his men and made a motion with his hand for the other to speak. The bald man stood, gulping. “Just because they were banished does not mean they are not ours to do with as we please. And we deem them returnable, as the unibrows have grown in and they are now eligible for marriage.”
“What unibrows?” Millie asked.
All heads turned toward the Puritans.
One of the Quaker males gasped. “Last time we saw them, at the ball, all four of them had matured.”
Lara stood. “Along with two of our little ones. Apparently, the unibrow can be triggered by the planet’s atmosphere, but it can disappear just as quickly.”
There was silence. Then the bald man spoke again. “No matter. We’ll still take back what belongs to us. They can grow unibrows naturally back at home.”
“No!” Virginia wailed. “Our home is here, now.”
“Virginia, my dear,” Peenis said. “Aren’t you lucky? Since Wilma’s unfortunate mental breakdown, you have been claimed to unify with Preston McGillicutti. You shall have the highest available ranking male.”
Joy realized their right of choosing the man had slyly been taken away. Now it appeared the Quaker men had the choice instead of them.
Virginia gasped. “I don’t want him! He doesn’t churn my butter.”
From Tristan’s arms, Titi shouted and raised her fist into the air. “Hiss biscuits ain’t done!”
Reese shouted from his father’s lap. “He has only one oar in the water!”
“Apologies,” Pritchard muttered. “My niece and nephew are traumatized from their kidnapping caused by your insane Puritan Wilma.”
“Yess,” Titi agreed. “Unkel Kwicket. Weese isss cuckoo now.”
“Cuckoo.” Reese burped. “Cuckoo.”
Tristan clamped a hand over Titi’s mouth. He yelped when her tiny tongue licked his palm.
“If the Puritans refuse to return to Quakestrarian, their citizenship is forfeited,” Peenis said. “Unfortunately, the charges were clear. They were to return or be destroyed. It is their choice.”
All heads turned to Millie. One slender shoulder raised and lowered helplessly. “That is the original charge,” she said sadly. “They refused to return.”
Feet began stomping and people began to talk all at once.
“Here, here!” Pritchard shouted. “I shall continue the charges without interruption! The Quaker males—namely the Mayor’s Council—claim the Puritans shall no longer have the right to choose their own husbands. It is an additional punishment for the Puritans pretending to be humans. The punishment is hereby entered for the record.”
“Humans! Bah. The hillbillies of the galaxy.” One of the Quakers snickered.
“Intellectually deficient,” someone else agreed. “Don’t know why they bothered trying to become human.”
“Hey!” Several female voices said.
The Freijians who had human mates snarled and rose, gnashing their teeth.
Rojan had to shout to be heard.
“Captain Rojan, you have the floor.” Pritchard banged his gavel on the wood of the table until everyone else quieted.
“Mediator Pritchard, the crew of Echo Nine has indeed fulfilled the contract.”
“What do you mean?” Peenis sneered. “Obviously they have not been destroyed. They are right there, caged like animals...” He glanced quickly at Millie. “I mean, birds. Like sexy, beautiful doves...”
“My crew and I tested the females. Yesterday, as a matter of fact. None are virgins. Their Puritan status has been destroyed, just like we agreed.”
The mayor’s mouth dropped. Loud guffaws erupted before breaking into cheering.
“Unlock the females,” Commander Pritchard yelled. “Release them from lockup. They are no longer pure and do not qualify as Puritans.”
“Drat,” Virginia muttered. “This velvet looks so good against my skin. It’s definitely not going to have the same effect on the wooden, polished floors. They’re so cold and impersonal...”
She was silenced as the cage was flung open and Baub grabbed her, holding her close and claiming her mouth long enough to shut up her endless blathering.
One by one, the other sisters filtered from the cage. His Joy was last.
“So what happens now?” Joy asked Rojan, ignoring everyone else around them as they clapped and cheered. Titi and Reese blew small party favors in an annoying nasally trumpet sound.
“You are free,” he said. “Unfortunately, I have decades to fulfill on my contractual obligations still.”
“We can’t be together?”
“I wish,” he said, pulling her close to inhale her sweet fragrance one last time. “But it’s still impossible. While mining the ores is no longer a threat, we’re still space-bound.”
“I have another mission for the Freijians,” Millie said, stepping forward. The room immediately hushed. “They did such a great job following through on the original contract conducted by my husband that I’d love to hire them on.”
“What is it?” Pritchard asked.
“I would like to study the effects of insanity in relation to a select few Quakestrarians being reared for the goal of Puritans. Since Wilma was so bad...”
“Wilma isn’t Puritan! She’s Herbasnut,” Peenis screeched.
“They have denied her,” Pariah said. “She is still locked up on Quakestrarian and thus considered Quaker. Check the law book.”
“In any case,” Millie continued, looking down her nose at Peenis. “Perhaps the Freijians could study the ex-Puritans for any beginning signs of insanity. It may take many years, but I’d expect periodic reports as to their mental status. Probably weekly, in the beginning. In fact, if the ex-Puritans ever got with child, I’d like reports on the compatibility of breeds and whether those offspring are prone to mental disease. It would be interesting to note if our extreme social boundaries and segregation caused the insanity. If so, we may have to consider other options on our planet.”
Peenis gasped. “It’s been done this way since the beginning of time.”
“Times a-changin',” Millie said sternly.
“I’m sure we could give you an excellent price on that package,” Pritchard said. “In fact, I have an available crew right now.” He turned to the Echo Nine males. “Please prepare your reports from the last mission for close out. I’ll brief you on the details of this new mission tomorrow.”
Echo Nine saluted solemnly before their ex-Puritans squealed and jumped into their arms.
