April kept her shit together on the days leading up to the local art gallery showing, but on the night of, her nerves bounced around in her belly, worse than the time she and Tae had gambled one day on expired ranch dip and got food poisoning.
Tae parked the car on the Lake Walk, but April didn’t move to get out. The dusk sky had all the colors in the rainbow, and the street was lit with twinkling fairy lights. They lined every storefront window and wrapped around the potted pine trees lining the sidewalks.
The place looked like a postcard.
Her fingers itched for her camera, but for the first time in a long time, she didn’t have it on her, not tonight.
The art gallery had its front doors wide open and a sign announcing the display of local talent.
She was talent . . . It boggled and thrilled, and she had to swallow hard.
“We ever going to go in?” Tae asked, sounding amused.
April watched people enter the gallery. They would see her work, and suddenly it was like she’d gone to school without pants. “TBD,” she managed.
Tae laughed and squeezed her hand. “Mom, this is a good thing. No, this is a great thing.”
April nodded, then shook her head. “I’m not used to great things happening to me,” she admitted.
“Aw, Mom.” Tae reached over the console and hugged her tight, rocking her a little, the way April always did to Tae when she was trying to console. It made her eyes sting. Her baby, her precious girl, was comforting her, as always stepping up to be the adult. So she took a deep breath, squeezed Tae back, and kissed her cheek. “Thank you. I’m okay now.”
Tae raised a brow.
“Okay, so my bones are trembling and I feel like I swallowed a bunch of butterflies, but it’s the good kind of butterflies.”
Tae nodded in approval, making April even more determined to buck up.
“It’s the excitement,” Tae said. “The reality of a dream coming true.”
The words sank in and heated her up from the inside out. Not like a hot flash, thankfully, but more like a warm glow. “You’re right,” she murmured, marveling at the truth of that. “And hey . . .” She looked at Tae. “What would be your dream come true?”
Tae looked surprised at the question, which made April’s gut hurt. She hadn’t asked this question enough, which meant she still had a long way to go on the Being a Better Mom train.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Tae said slowly. “Maybe to have enough money socked away that I don’t have to worry about the future.”
April felt her eyes sting again, but not in joy this time. She hated that Tae had always taken on that burden for the both of them. “It isn’t about money.”
“Since when?” Tae asked. “It’s always about money. I want to have enough so that Future Tae and April are all set up.”
Worried, deeply worried that she’d created this fear in Tae of not having enough, she shook her head. “Honey, it’s not supposed to be like that.”
“Well, not for tonight anyway,” Tae agreed. “But, Mom, you more than anyone know that life’s not all rainbows and kittens.”
April thought about all those warm, wonderful Hallmark movies she loved to inhale. “Maybe it’s about love.”
Tae laughed at that, and even April had to smile. “Okay, okay,” she said. “So neither of us have had much luck in the love department, but love could still happen for us, for both of us.”
“Or it could be walking out the door for D.C. soon,” Tae said, and April felt her heart ache. She opened her mouth, but Tae immediately shook her head, holding up a hand. “Disregard that, please. Tonight’s about you and your incredible success. You deserve it, so let’s get out there and enjoy it.”
And then she got out of the car, leaving April to do the same or get left behind.
They stepped inside the gallery together. People were milling around, holding wineglasses and taking in the pictures. The dark wood floors and light-colored walls showed off the art beautifully. Everywhere April looked was a photo that stole her breath.
“Mom.” Tae grabbed her hand and pulled her into the next room and then pointed.
April’s ten pictures of local landscapes, matted and framed and hanging on the wall.
“They’re beautiful,” Tae whispered. “Oh my God, Mom, look at them. That’s you, that’s your work hanging on the walls. And look, this one you took up at Eagle Bluffs has a sold sticker on it!”
April covered her mouth with her hand so she didn’t scream in excitement.
“Hey, babe,” a guy off to her right was saying to the girl with him. “Check this out, these pics are from that chick in my photography class I told you about, the old lady who showed everyone a shot of her grocery cart filled with her MiraLAX.”
“Oh my God, it wasn’t filled with MiraLAX,” she whispered to Tae, who was trying not to bust a gut laughing.
“Wow,” the guy’s date said. “Well, the old chick can certainly take a photo.”
“Probably because she had like a million years of experience.”
April felt her ears flame. Tae was now laughing so hard that no sound was coming out, and she had to bend over and put her hands on her knees.
April glared at her. “Hey, you use that MiraLAX sometimes too.”
“One time, and I was on pain meds from breaking my wrist eight years ago.” Tae straightened and swiped away her tears of mirth, but she was still smiling. “Mom, you’re famous.”
Infamous, maybe . . . She needed wine.
But just then a gallery employee came over and put a SOLD sticker on the picture in front of them, and it was better than any wine she’d ever had.
OVER THE NEXT week, Tae and Jenny worked almost around the clock. She didn’t have time to continue the search for her dad, or so she told herself. But the truth was, she was scared. Scared she’d dig up something she didn’t want to know.
Maybe she just needed to give herself permission to let go of all the what-ifs and the disappointments of the past and focus on appreciating what she had in the here and now. Because the here and now was pretty great. Besides, even if she found her dad, he’d probably not be so thrilled, and she didn’t think she could take that either.
The good news was that ever since the gallery showing, her mom seemed to be on top of the world. She’d sold six of the ten photographs so far, and Tae had never seen her so happy before—especially for something that didn’t involve a man.
Tae was uncharacteristically happy too. But she suspected a whole bunch of that came from her nightly visits from Riggs. With her crazy work schedule, and the hours he’d been putting in at Adrenaline HQ, those visits came late.
The long hours they spent in her bed lit by moonlight, doing things to each other by the soundtrack of the Tahoe forest as he held her like maybe she was the very best thing that had ever happened to him, his green eyes telling her what his mouth never would, she felt like nothing could go wrong. She and her mom both doing well at the same time felt like a turning point in their lives.
A positive one.
So she’d told herself, no more worrying. Not about Riggs, and not about her dad either. If she learned more, then great, but she was fine if she didn’t.
But in the deep recesses of her mind where denial lived, she knew she was just kidding herself. About . . . well, everything. Her house of cards would come down in a storm. And there would be a storm. There always was.
On the morning of day one of their midsummer Lake Days event, Tae picked up Jordy and Sarah, who were so excited to help set up. When everything was ready, she helped register all the incoming guests, then moved from one station to the next, checking, assisting where it was needed.
At the shoreline, the first thing she saw was Riggs standing on the swim deck of the boat anchored at the beach, coiling rope, wearing only board shorts, and Jordy’s little sister Sarah hanging off his broad back, her arms wrapped tight around his neck.
One would think Tae’d be used to the effect he had on her by now, but note to self: she was not.
As if he felt her presence across the sand he looked up, those sharp green eyes unerringly landing on her. And then he smiled the smile of a man who’d been in her bed only an hour ago.
“Tae.”
She turned at the unexpected male voice just behind her and came face-to-face with Hunter. He was wearing a volunteer name tag, as was the pretty, petite brunette at his side. Her tag said EMILY, and Hunter smiled sweetly at her. “Em, this is Tae Holmes. Tae, Emily.”
After the introductions, Hunter turned to Emily, squeezing her hand. “I’ll catch up with you at the games station?”
“Of course,” she murmured before kissing him on the cheek and walking off.
“New girlfriend?” Tae asked as he watched Emily go.
“An old friend.” He smiled. “Turned something more now. I think.”
“I’m happy for you.”
His smile widened. “Thanks. You look great. You’re . . . glowing with happiness. I don’t think it’s any secret why.” He glanced over her shoulder, presumably to Riggs.
“Oh, we’re not . . . what you might think.”
Hunter nodded, but his smile faded, like maybe he felt sorry for her. “Tae—”
“No, it’s all good,” she said quickly. “And so nice to see you.” And then she moved off toward the lunch tent, definitely needing a cookie. Possibly a box of cookies.
Delicious Deli, a mom-and-pop deli on the Lake Walk, was sponsoring lunch today. The owners, Suzie and Eddie, had a daughter with cerebral palsy and were frequent guests at Adrenaline HQ.
Suzie was putting out snacks, including cookies.
“Bless you.” Tae grabbed one, then on second thought took a second. “It’s a two-cookies sort of day,” she said, catching Suzie’s smile.
“Hey, no judgment here. I ate my weight in cookie dough just making those.”
Tae laughed and moved to the games station, where she played cornhole with Jordy and lost. Twice.
“Where’s your dude?” Jordy asked.
“Who?”
“Riggs.”
“Oh . . . he’s not . . . we’re not . . .” She broke off, realizing she kept saying that to people and she was tired of being on defense. Especially since her gaze landed right on Riggs where he stood on the boat, looking far hotter than a man had any right to look. But that wasn’t what made her feel soft and mushy. It was the care with which he was helping load one of the wounded warriors onto the boat, carrying the guy in his arms, saying something that had them both laughing. Letting out a breath, she turned back to Jordy.
Who was already playing his next game.
She had to laugh at herself. She was such a sap. When had that happened? She supposed her mom could be right, and that she’d made a stupid decision letting Riggs in. It certainly wasn’t the safe decision, but if life had taught her anything, it was that she’d rather go with her gut than have regrets.
And besides, she’d never been interested in safe choices. Back in that convenience store all those weeks ago now, rather than doing the safe thing and leaving the store at the first sign of danger, she’d stayed to make sure Jordy didn’t get shot over a granola bar. And she’d do it again. Just like this thing with Riggs. If she hadn’t spent time with him, she’d always wonder what if.
No more regrets.
The day flew by, and by late afternoon, things were winding down. She took another peek across the beach. Riggs’s eyes were locked on her as he anchored the boat. He never gave much away. He liked the world to think he wasn’t ruled by anything so volatile and unpredictable as emotions, that maybe he didn’t even have emotions to begin with because that would make him vulnerable. And being vulnerable was not on his to-do list.
But by now she’d seen him bare all, physically and metaphorically, and she knew better. You just had to know what you were looking for. The slightest quirk of his mouth or movement in his gaze were his tell if you could read him.
And she could. She was pretty sure what she was reading right now was genuine affection, but also something more. He wasn’t smiling or anything, just projecting a general air of easygoing charisma, and damn . . . it looked really, really good on him. And that’s when she realized. He seemed different because he was . . . happy too.
So she crossed the grass toward the beach, aware of Jake and Carolyn at the kayaks watching her, and her mom over at the registration table, also watching. Tae wasn’t a public person, at all, but as Riggs jumped from the boat to the sand, straightening, eyes on hers, she headed right for him. “You know how you said the details about us were up to me?” she asked when they were face-to-face.
He gave a single nod.
“And how I said that maybe we didn’t need to define the details?”
Another nod.
“Well, I figured something out. There’s only one detail. And that is that I was wrong before. I don’t want to hide this, whatever this is. You okay with that?”
Something changed in his eyes. She thought maybe it was affection with more than a dab of relief mixed in. “Yeah, I’m okay with that.”
So simple that she wondered why she’d ever fought it. She took the last step and walked right into his arms. As they closed around her, she went up on tiptoes, slid her hands into his hair, and tugged his face to hers so she could kiss him.
He was warm, and still wet, and her clothes got soaked, making her laugh when she pulled away.
Riggs was much slower to pull his hands back.
“Thanks,” she murmured. “I get tired of hiding myself.”
He never took his gaze off her. “Even when you do your best to hide, I always see you, Tae. Always will.”
Warmed by the look in his eyes, which had nothing to do with physical intent, she smiled. “So what do you see now?”
“A woman who makes me want things I’ve never wanted before.”