LOCH MORAR, SCOTLAND
The Past
Gavin walked back out in the hall, noticing Muir and Callum giving him strange looks as he passed. “I’m going ta bed.”
“Are ye still training in the morning,” Callum asked.
Without turning, Gavin stepped on the stair. “Aye.”
“Good night,” Muir said.
“See ye in the morning,” Callum added, waving.
Muir jerked his arm back down and hit his hand.
“Ow, Muir, “Callum said, rubbing his sore fingers. “What did ye do that?”
“He is no a lass. Ye no need ta yell out like a sotted fool.”
“Och, Muir, and ye do no have ta always have the last word.”
As Gavin made his way to his chamber the two men continued to bicker, quite tipsy from the ale they drank and already forgetting why they were waiting out in the hall in the first place.
♦
Jillian heard footsteps approaching and threw herself on the bed. Feigning sleep, she quickly shut her eyes as the door opened.
Gavin stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. He looked over at the bed and saw Jillian lying on top of the furs, asleep and he couldn’t help but wonder why he had no inclination whatsoever to join her.
The fire was almost out, so he tossed a few more pieces of wood on it until it caught. Once the flames were licking up the sides of the wood, he stood again, and began undressing.
Unhooking his plaid from his shoulder, the heavy material fell down over his belt, nearly touching the floor as he walked to the bedside.
There was plenty of room for him to crawl in the bed, but he really had no desire to get back into it.
Sitting on the edge, he leaned over and removed his boots; each one made a slight thumping sound on the floor as he dropped them.
Looking over his shoulder, he checked to see if he accidentally woke Jillian, but she hadn’t moved… not an inch.
Careful not to disturb her, he leaned back against his pillow, and lifted his feet onto the bed.
The fire crackled and hissed in the hearth, making shadows dance across the floor and ceiling. He watched the shadows for a bit, wondering if he had done this at some other time in the past. A memory, although distant at this point, seemed to want to make an appearance, but try as he might, he could not grasp hold of it.
After a while, his gaze shifted back to Jillian. She was on her side, her back facing him and the crimson strands of her hair glowed like flames in the firelight.
Reaching out, he touched a curl, feeling the softness. This act seemed familiar but he could not remember doing this with her, no matter how hard he tried to recall the simple action.
It was a like a door was locked within his mind and he had no notion of how to retrieve the key to unlock it. It was frustrating to say the least.
Releasing her hair, he pulled his hand back on his lap and closed his eyes hoping for some kind of breakthrough, some morsel of what they were like together. But although this was his intent, instead of seeing Jillian the woman he knew he was supposed to be in love with, he saw another.
Holding the image of her face in his mind, his lass, he drifted off to sleep with a feeling of contentment that had been long absent.
♦
Once Jillian heard him breathing heavily in sleep, she sat up and turned towards him. A slight smile was cresting his lips and she knew in that moment he was dreaming and she also most certainly knew that he wasn’t dreaming of her.
Angry, she reached over and pinched him…hard, but although he flinched, he did not awake.
Frustrated in more ways than one, thanks to Gavin and his lack of action with her person earlier, she slammed her head back down on her pillow and tried to go to sleep. But no matter how many other things she attempted to think on, her mind kept taking her back to Broderick with the remembrance of his prowess in bed.
Feeling heated, she tossed off the furs and removed her gown. Once she was naked, she climbed back onto the bed, and sat beside Gavin as he slept. The firelight flickered over his face, casting moving shadows. If she squinted, she could almost believe she saw Broderick’s face. And in doing that, her heart pounded a bit faster. Lifting her hand, she ran the tips of her fingers over Gavin’s jaw, feeling the bristling hairs tickle her fingers and the moved them lower to his chest. The skin was bare and smooth, but Broderick’s was not. Broderick had a thick coarse matting of hair over his chest that she used to love to run her fingers through.
Moving her hand lower, she slipped her fingers into the springy hair and encircled his length.
Gavin gasped and let out a little bit of a moan as he hardened in her hand.
Jillian smiled. So now he notices me, she thought. Stroking faster and squeezing harder, she coaxed his length until it was hard as a stone.
Another gasp and moan slipped from Gavin’s lips as his body tensed.
“Not so fast.” Jillian lifted her bent leg and placed it on the other side of his waist. Using the tips of her fingers, she dragged them down his waist and then gently slid her fingers over the velvety softness of his length, making him moan again.
Levering herself up, she directed his erection into her body and gasped as she lowered down as far as she could go. Pressing her hands to his chest, she began to rise again.
Gavin was dreaming, or so he thought. In his mind, he was back at the stream with the lass, Paige. He was taking her in the water and then making love to her on the grass. “Och,” he moaned. “That’s it, love.”
Jillian froze and her eyes flew to his, expecting him to be looking at her with passion burning in his eyes, but they were not even open. Using her nails, she raked them down his chest.
Gavin moaned in his sleep but still did not wake fully.
Frustrated with his lack of response, Jillian tried a different tactic. Lifting his hands, she placed them on her breasts and held them in place.
Gavin’s eyes flickered open but it was as though he was still sleeping. Mayhap he had drank too much ale, but everything was a bit fuzzy and by this time he was too far in to stop even if he wanted to. He reminded himself that this was the woman he longed for, the woman he loved but even as he thought this he remembered that he been dreaming of another. And if he closed his eyes he could almost envision that it was she who was with him now.
“Touch me,” she begged.
And so, he did. Using his thumb and forefinger, her rubbed her nipples until they puckered into plump little buds causing her to cry out.
“Yes, harder,” she begged.
Gavin obliged and twisted harder, making her arch backward. Her hips rose up and her long hair tickled the tops of his thighs.
“Yes…yes…” she yelled, moving faster now.
Lost in the moment, Gavin held one hand behind her, his fingers splaying over the rounded curve of her bottom as her hips jerked upward.
Not able to get close enough, Jillian used the back of the bed, to pull herself up until her sex was in his face.
Gavin reached up and placed his hands on her hips and while holding both sides, he nestled his mouth between her thighs.
Feeling the growth of his beard on the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs was almost Jillian’s undoing as she envisioned Broderick doing the same. Holding her in place, his fingers delved from behind on each side, spurring her to grasp hold of his hair to stop him from moving away as she took her pleasure from lips and tongue.
“Hmm, yes,” she cried, tightening her hold and throwing her head back as he brought her closer and closer to the edge.
In the midst of taking her pleasure, Jillian looked down and saw the Gavin’s eyes were closed tight. Knowing what, or rather, who, she thought about while her eyes were closed, this made her angry. Shouldn’t he be looking at her whilst making love to her with his lips and tongue?
Reaching back, she found he was not even hard any longer, which made her even more upset. Moving downward, she held his face and kissed his lips, tasting herself on his tongue. In her mind, he didn’t seem nearly as responsive as he should. Not nearly as responsive as Broderick had been whilst he was doing the same. Lowering down further, she peppered his chest with kisses. This seemed to spur something more from him so she lowered even further down until she was between his thighs. Looking up at him, she watched his face as she took him in her mouth.
His length hardened immediately, she used her tongue, and her teeth to tease him a bit, make him even harder than he was a moment ago.
Gavin groaned and shut his eyes once more. His mind may be elsewhere but his body was responding to her ministrations. With each pass of her tongue she brought him closer and closer to the edge.
And just when Gavin thought she may push him right over and he would finally find the release he sought, she pulled her mouth away.
His eyes opened and he stared at her hungrily.
Finally, she thought. This is what she had been waiting for. “Good night.” She turned to move.
Gavin’s hand shot out to stay her. “Where are ye going?”
She shrugged. “I am going to sleep.”
Confused, Gavin’s brows creased. “Why?”
“I guess I am tired.”
“Ye are tired.”
“Yes. I am tired.” She could see the want, no, the need, on his face and revelled in it.
Gavin shook away the cobwebs, his erection throbbing.
Jillian touched the tip, making it move. “Did you want something?” she asked coyly.
Jaw working, Gavin gritted. “Aye, there is something that I want.”
Jillian leaned closer, lowering her mouth and striking out with her tongue right where the tip of her finger had just been, making him gasp. “What might that be?”
In no mood for games, Gavin grabbed her arms and hauled her up his body until she lay on top. “This.” He lowered his mouth to hers and stole her breath with his kisses.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as the kiss intensified.
Sliding his hand down, he found the juncture between her thighs and slid two fingers into her warmth.
Jillian whimpered in response as his fingers retreated and then plundered again. Gasping, Jillian tensed, right on the verge…
Gavin pulled his hand away.
Jillian grabbed his hand and tried to put it back but he was not cooperating. “What are you doing?”
Gavin shrugged indifferently. “I am going ta sleep.”
“What?” She gaped. “You can’t do that.”
“Why can I no do that?” The fire that had been simmering beneath the surface was now on full display, burning brightly in his eyes. “Is that no what ye want? Ta play games and then quit before ye give me any satisfaction?”
“No. I was only trying to…to prolong the moment.”
“Well, I am in no mood ta prolong the moment.” He turned then and laid back down.
“Gavin? What about me?”
“What about ye?”
Jillian realized a bit belatedly that Gavin was not quite the same as he used to be. There was something altogether different about him, an indifference of sorts towards her that she did not like. Not one bit. And now, she wanted nothing more than to finish what she started.
But the mood was gone, because of her games and she wasn’t sure how she could go about that.
“Please,” she said.
Gavin looked at her. Really looked at her. She was beautiful to be sure and there was something about her that made him want nothing more to be near her, but something else was happening. He wasn’t sure what that was though.
“What do ye want from me?”
“I want you to…to…take me.”
“Och, lass, I already tried…”
Jillian started freaking out. Was he going to deny her? Trying a different tactic, she moved back to his side. Gathering her hair in one hand, she pulled it over her shoulder and then leaning forward, she kissed him.
His lips were shut tight against her but with some coaxing with her tongue, he opened his mouth to her. She kissed him with all the pent-up passion she was feeling and only then did she feel him start to respond again. Not wanting to waste the moment, she climbed back on top of him and lifted his hand to her breast once more.
The firelight cast shadows across the walls and ceiling as it flickered in the night breeze coming in through the window.
She kept her hand on his and lowered his other hand between her thighs.
At first his hand was still, but once she started moving, his fingers found her once more and she cried out.
“Yes, please…” she begged, trying to get him to do more.
“I am no playing games this time,” he warned gruffly.
“I know. I don’t want to. Just please…please…”
Gavin was torn. His body wanted release but his mind seemed to want other things. These were things he had no memory of unless he was dreaming or woozy from too much drink as he was now. But something did not feel right. At least not as right as it should. Still, he could not stop himself from taking what she was so readily offering. “Turn around,” he instructed.
Jillian quickly turned around as he asked.
Gavin got on his knees behind her. “Do ye want me?”
“Yes.”
Using the palm of his hand, he ran it over the curve of her bottom and slipped the tips of his fingers between.
Jillian gasped and pushed back against his hand. “What are you waiting for,” she yelled and then quickly added in a much nicer tone, “I just want you.”
Gavin slid two fingers inside and then withdrew them, making Jillian cry out in frustration.
“Aye,” he said. “I can feel that ye are ready for me.”
“Then what is taking so long?” she snapped and then bit her lip from saying anything more. Broderick would have already been buried deep inside her, pounding away. And as she thought this, she wondered if she actually liked his love play more than she had thought.
Grabbing her hips, Gavin positioned himself.
Finally, Jillian thought. She braced herself for the deep thrust, but it was more of a gentle nudge and then he withdrew.
“Harder!”
“I do no want ta hurt ye.”
“I don’t care.” She turned then and like someone possessed, she pushed him back on the pillows and straddled him. “This,” she said, and impaled herself on his length, “is what I want.”
Jaw tight, Gavin tried to help her ease down, but she was having none of that.
She pressed her hands to his chest and rode him as hard and fast as she could.
In moments he was caught up in her frenzy of wild abandon. Each time she screamed out “Harder” he buried himself deeper and finally when he could bear no more of her demands, he flipped her over and gave her what she wanted.
Her nails bit into his skin and she bucked up against him. He tried to be tender but Jillian wanted something altogether different.
She went at him like someone crazed. Biting, scratching, while Gavin tried to stave off her attacks and give her pleasure at the same time.
Jillian finally cried out with her orgasm, which was more of an ear-splitting scream, and after two more thrusts, he too gave over to his own forceful yet extremely, unsettling release.