LOCH MORAR, SCOTLAND
The Past
The blood red moon was almost at its highest peak and I could see the mist fast approaching to where we both stood on the edge of the loch. I was immediately reminded of the last time I was here, when the monster made an appearance with Gavin at my side. That seemed like another lifetime now.
“You should come with me,” I blurted.
Clarion shook his head. “Nay, lass. I can no come with ye.”
I nodded, accepting the answer he gave because I already knew what it would be before I asked. “What will you do?”
A rare smile lit his face. “I have a monster ta slay, remember?”
“What good will that do? You said yourself that you doubted you could beat it.”
“Aye, but that was before ye gave this ta me.” He held the dagger aloft.
Just seeing that awful thing made me shudder with revulsion. “That is really small, and trust me when I say, that monster you speak of, is very big, enormous even.”
“Is that so?” His lips twitched.
“You think I am kidding, but I am not. You will surely be killed if you try to take on that monster with only that dagger.”
“What this? Ye have no faith in me?”
“Hey, I have plenty of faith in you; however, that thing is huge.”
Clarion stepped closer to her. “Do no fret about me,” he said, clearly not fazed by her warning.
“I don’t want you to die.”
“I do no want ta die, either, but my fate was meted out long ago by the actions of another.”
I knew he was talking about his father and the God-awful thing that he did to that woman, or whatever she was, she didn’t deserve that.
The wind picked up, pushing the mist closer. White frothy rolls of surf began to slide over the rock-laden area, wetting the toes of my boots.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Aye. I know.”
“Can you read my mind? Because you always seem to know what I am thinking?”
“And what would ye do if I told ye I could?”
“I would be mortified.”
He smiled. A real one. “Then I will no be telling ye that I can read yer mind, aye?”
A moment of mortification set in, but then faded just as fast as I saw a twinkle in his eyes. Surely, he was just pulling my leg, I thought, and said as much. “You are kidding, right?”
His brow lifted up. “Am I?”
I reached out to playfully smack his arm but he caught my hand in his. Holding it tightly, he said, “It has been a pleasure knowing ye, Paige Walsh.”
My heart was pounding so hard. “It has been a pleasure knowing you as well, Clarion de Grey,” I croaked out, suddenly feeling like I had a frog in my throat. That in itself wouldn’t have been so bad, but I also felt like puking and crying at the same time. In fact, even though my time here had not been that good, this time, I was pretty miserable at the prospect of leaving.
Surprisingly, for a minute, he looked pretty upset too, or I could have been imagining it. I tended to do that a lot lately. Imagine things that were not real.
“Take heed, lass, the mist is almost here.” He nodded in the direction of the loch.
Another wave of dread washed over me, making me feel even sicker. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many things that I wanted to do, and now, I would not have a chance to do or say any of them. Worst of all, I would not have a chance to say goodbye to Gavin, tell him that I loved him and would always love him, even though he didn’t remember who I was or what I meant to him before.
And even though I told myself that it would be better this way. A clean break would help me forget him faster—besides, I thought with a sudden burst of anger; he is probably off doing his bimbo. Hell, he probably thinks I am still down in that rotten pit he shoved me in. In spite of my anger toward Gavin, I couldn’t stop the flow of tears from falling from my eyes.
I quickly turned away and pretended to watch the mist so Clarion wouldn’t see me cry.
Clarion didn’t need to look at the lass to know she was crying and he knew, she was not crying for him, which hurt a bit more than he expected it to.
Back towards the hill, the one opposite from the loch he saw movement and clutched the dagger in his hand, but then he realized it wasn’t an enemy but his brother.
Reflexively, Clarion turned and immediately took a step toward Paige but then stopped himself. She was not his. Nor would she ever be.
Instead of saying goodbye, he took a moment to memorize her face; then turned, and disappeared into the shadows of the night.
♦
Feeling a pull, I looked down and saw the mist encircling my feet. Wanting to say good-bye to Clarion, I turned to look for him but he was not beside me. “Clarion,” I called out, twisting my body as I did so, in the other direction, towards the hill opposite from the loch.
Sure, my eyes were playing tricks on me; I shut my eyes and then reopened them. A swell of elation filled my heart. I wasn’t imagining him—Gavin was really running towards me.
Clarion forgotten for the moment, I tried to run to Gavin but my feet were stuck. “Gavin!” I yelled, while trying to dislodge my rooted feet, knowing that any minute I would be pulled back through the mist.
Gavin stopped a foot away eyeing the mist warily. “Lass,” he panted, breathing hard from his run. “Can ye ever find it in yer heart ta forgive me?”
It was like a dam broke and my tears fell rapidly down my face. I nodded my head, not able to speak just yet.
Careful to keep out of the mist, he took her in his arms. “I am so sorry, lass.”
His hands were on the sides of my face, tears in his eyes and I knew he was sincere. ‘He picks now to remember you’ my little voice cut in to our happy reunion. I pushed back my little voice tired of its two cents.
“Yes, yes, I forgive you.” Of course, if I hadn’t been unfaithful myself I probably would have had an entirely different answer, but as it stood, who was I to talk. I tried to move, but my feet were just as stuck now as they were a moment ago. “Gavin, I can’t get out of the mist.”
“Lass,” he said, holding her aloft. “Ye need ta go home.”
“What? But I thought you said you remembered?”
“Aye, I do which is exactly why ye need ta go home.”
“You are coming with me, right?”
Gavin shook his head solemnly back and forth. “Nay, lass. I can no leave my men behind a second time.”
He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tighter.
“Make them come too.” My voice came out muffled against his chest.
Gavin shook his head again. “Nay, lass. That is no their destiny.”
I pulled back to look at his face. “So, what. There is nothing here for them.”
“This is their home, lass.”
“Why don’t you ask them?” How do you know? They may be ecstatic to come to the future with me.” Fine, I felt terrible for saying that seeing the sadness in his eyes. But what were my options? Leave alone? Or leave with Gavin and his men? That answer was a no brainer.
Gavin face was set and I knew that he had already made up his mind. “Remember that ye will always be with me right here.” He placed my hand over his heart to emphasize his point.
“Please,” I begged, feeling desperate. “Pull me out of the mist. I want to stay…”
Gavin shook his head. “Ye do no belong here. Ye never did.”
“Neither do you. Not anymore,” I argued a losing battle.
“Lass, I do belong here, but ye do not.”
“But, but, I love you…”
“I know ye do.”
A sad smile crested his lips and I knew then that my argument was moot.
Feeling desperate, I grabbed hold of him. I was determined to pull him with me like I did the last time.
Catching me off guard, he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me in such a way I completely lost my train of thought.
When he pulled back, he said, “Now ye have something ta remember me by, aye.” He gave me one of his heart stopping smiles and before I knew what he was about, he pushed me backward but instead of hitting the frosty waters of the loch, I kept right on falling.