On Passing

I passed as white?                              : olive skin tanning easily in the sun

as normal as safe                                : hairy forearms and fuzzy upper lip

as sure of who I was                           : a woman with imperfections and allure

until America’s past                           : bushy eyebrows bridging big brown eyes

caught up with me                             : plucked and waxed and cut

and held me down                             : scarred kneecaps from childhood scrapes

and told me this is                             : a wound that never fully heals

who you cannot be                            : high cheek bones and bulbous nose

I passed by becoming                        : bitter and educated and quiet

insubstantial                                       : heavy bangs hung from a furrowed forehead

substance does not change               : a life rife with questions unanswered

without fire                                         : glittery red nail polish on pedicured toes

without blood                                     : pierced ears and Arabic script on the right hip

without pain                                        : whiplashed long neck and spinal scoliosis

without losing                                     : a heartbeat with erratic rhythm

where I began                                      : sister with Sito’s hard stare