This Is Why I Can’t Be Your Lover

You want me to forget the face of death

so that my smile will be beautiful again.

The word beautiful isn’t around anymore.

And I am only impossible.

If you thought it was that easy to forget

the way death trembled at the bombing

of booksellers, of Baghdad and bindings.

When an idea was beautiful and dangerous,

begging for safety. Or my father’s prayers

for his daughter’s pained face just before

they shut down her breathing apparatus.

I watched his eyes form the doomed edge

of whatever he was of a cloud’s downpour

before catching her last gasp of air.

I can’t smile and recall that beautiful end.