A ship had indeed set sail while I sat in prison. No one knew where it headed. No one saw Theodore nor Dawn. Nevertheless, it had to be the ship she was on. The sailors were so scared that I knew no other captain would dare ignore Paetus’ or, through him, my orders. I released my hold. Post and transportation could resume. I did not wish to further cripple the country I so loved. Paetus ensured that the Incola families understood the fate that would befall them should they share information about me or my precious blight.

For half a fortnight, we could only see the interior of that cabin when we rode our daughter. And, of course, we saw our nephew and the actions they thought were private. The fact that they were cousins did not bother us much. It was not as taboo then as it is today. Aristocratic families often intermarried. At first we thought it rape, which upset Sally to no end. In this modern time, of course, it would be statutory because of her age. At this time, girls of lower station with less options often married and were mothers by Dawn’s age. I was a peeress and through my lineage Dawn was as well. She could not marry without the approval of her Sovereign.

Then, through the vignettes we saw, I began to put it together that not only was it consensual but Dawn, in some instances, was the pursuer, instigator. Sally wouldn’t believe it, thinking that Dawn did what she could to manage the level of her abuse. For if our daughter didn’t resist, there was no reason for their exchanges to become violent. Sally had, on occasion, employed the same tactic for us.

We discussed seeing if Effie could ride Dawn, saving Sally the horror, but in the end we decided against it. That was one door that might not close again once opened. Who knew what beast might escape?

So Sally continued to ride Dawn. We did not know what Dawn’s reaction would be if she found us so we hid, sneaking around her mind like a burglar. One ride, Sally stumbled into the tenebrae again. We were shocked to find that even though Dawn and Eve’ were elsewhere, the room remained occupied by the figments of Leon, Archelaos, and Ambrose. That shouldn’t have been. If they were imagined and tortured for her amusement, they should not have existed in that space without her. Those were my opinions but Sally did not share them as we occupied different minds at the time. I could see through her “eyes” but did not share her thoughts.

Sally stepped into the light, toward Leon, still seated in his chair by the hearth. The vile, monstrous, imaginary Ambrose called to her, to me, from his place on the rack, “Mama!” Every joint below gray skin had been stretched beyond capacity and was out of the socket.

“No,” Archelaos called from the crucifix. He had to push up on his nail-pierced feet to get breath to speak. “Do not fall for this trick again,” he told the other two.

“Dawn, I will not touch you no matter how much you look like your mother.” Leon said this with detachment.

With that statement hanging in the air, Sally stilled. Leon’s face changed. He had not seen what he expected to in our face. Struggling against unseen bonds, Leon attempted to stand but failed. He only managed to bring his glass to his lips. Taking two deep breaths, he whispered, “Ramillia?” Sally shook her head and stepped closer, seeing as he could not come closer to us. Then he saw it and asked, “Sally? Is that really you?”

Dawn had not known of my other, not that I knew of. How had she created a figment that had knowledge she did not herself hold? Sally nodded. I knew from our discussions of her previous rides that Sally feared speaking would alert Dawn to our presence. Dawn did not tolerate Incola presence inside her mind. Even when Leon had ridden her with her and my permission, and for her own well-being and protection, she had hurt him.

“If you’ve come to save us, I do not see how it can be accomplished. Dawn is goddess of her own universe here. She has become fixated with me and relentless in her punishment of these two.” Tears streamed down his face.

Sally went to him presumably to get a better look at his bonds. Leon continued talking. “Even when I think I see empathy in her, Eve’ steps in and squashes it. Eve’ is without mercy. She would see me on the other side of this room.”

There were no visible bindings that kept Leon in this position. Not on his legs. Not on his arms. No reason could be seen that his hand must hold the glass of spirits.

“I do not know how you got here but you need to go before Dawn and Eve’ return. If they find you here, you will be trapped same as we are.” Sally did not move and Leon’s whispering became ever more insistent. “Go. Now. Leave this place.”

Ambrose cried out, “No, Mama! Do not leave me!” He choked back a childish sob, almost a hiccup, and then broke me by saying, “It hurts so much here. Dawn hurts me so much.”

That moment is the most vivid of my life. And it happened in the mind of another. I knew then the terrible truth. These were not figments of Dawn’s demented imagination. Somehow, when Leon, Ambrose, and Archelaos died, Dawn had trapped them. I knew she could trap anyone in her mind who attempted to ride her but this was unexpected. She had pulled them from their dying bodies.

I tried to get to them. I didn’t know what I could do but I had to try. I thrashed inside the mews, trying to free myself of my own body. I pulled on the cord that connected Sally and me, trying to climb the rope, but it had the opposite result than I wished. I yanked Sally back to me.

This time the storm in the sky above our meadow was my doing and Sally attempted to comfort me. I slapped her hands away. I would not be consoled. “She is a monster!” I shouted.

“She is not,” Sally said calmly. “Dawn is a young girl with mental and physical abilities beyond comprehension.”

“She murdered my son!”

Sally made sure I looked her in the eye as she argued, “We murdered our father.”

“He hurt us!” The lightning began to mirror my speech. “Raped you!”

“Ambrose would have hurt her. He attempted to take her over. She only did to him what we did to Julian when he attempted the same.”

“No! We allowed Julian’s body to be killed. Then we pushed Archelaos from our mind. We did not imprison him! We did not torture him! And what of Leon? He never did anything to hurt her. He is the one who found her and brought her safely home.”

“And he was not hurt,” she reasoned.

That stilled me. Sally thought only of her daughter and not at all of the men in our lives. The clouds above us rolled violently but the lightning stopped. “You think what he has endured is less than torture?”

“You are thinking of this in the wrong manner. Yes, what she is doing now is wrong but her evil has given us a second chance. As long as she has them, they are not gone. We will find a way to save them.”

She had a point. All three were Incola. Perhaps new bodies could be procured for them. But it was hopeless, for I had destroyed the ability for Incola to ride.

Then an even more horrific realization came to me. “They have no bodies. Her tortures have no end. They cannot die or even pass out from pain. They have no respite. No escape even momentarily from the anguish.”

“I know. We will find her.” Sally flew to the top and released us from the mews.

But I will kill her for what she’s done when we do, I thought, forgetting Sally could hear my thoughts here.

 

Sally rode Dawn for the briefest of moments only after that. We hoped to catch a glimpse of anything that would tell us where she resided. We steered clear of Dawn’s mental tenebrae, not because it was too painful to see, which it was, but because when we approached it the others noticed. If Archelaos/Julian called out, Effie would somehow feel bigger in my own mind. If Ambrose cried, Mary Martha’s attention would catch. They were nowhere near able to stand at our helm but they could move further to the front.

We were quite relieved when, at long last, at the end of nearly two weeks, we caught sight of a cityscape that told us their destination. The skyline told us we were headed to New York, in the Americas.

Nothing then moved as swiftly as it now does. Information, governmental decisions, travel plans all moved at snail speed. Though my whereabouts were known, it took two full weeks for the police to organize. Or perhaps the reality that a single unarmed woman had wounded and killed so many of them while escaping prison was too alien to accept and those days were needed to rationalize the events. Maybe they hesitated to make such a scandalous scene in the wealthiest area of all London. In either case, they came calling just as I finished packing for my journey.

Paetus made all travel arrangements. I trusted him to do so, even when my men did not. He was beaten. There was nothing he could do to reclaim his throne; nothing would make him Incola again. We were to travel by ship but, on the day before we were to board, the police came. They demanded that I surrender. When I did not, they shouted my conviction details, hoping shame and embarrassment would bring me forth. When it did not, they began a full assault on my home. They did not know it was impregnable. They could not break through no matter how they battered the exterior.

What they did succeed in doing was forestalling my escape. I could think of nothing but seeing the new world with my own eyes. I could live forever. I wanted to see and experience everything the world had to offer. These police prevented my doing just that.

Sally worried what became of Dawn while we tarried. If she thought that was what upset me about our delay, I allowed her her delusions.

“There is another way,” Mr. Hall professed as we stood in my parlor listening to the men outside attempt to pry off the steel window shutters. Sally retreated and I glanced at Mr. Hall. He looked sharp in his driving costume.

“We are to escape by train,” I guessed aloud. “But how? The way to the station is just as blocked as the one to the shipyard.”

“No, my lady. We will travel in the gondola of your skyship.”

“I have a skyship?”

“Not until I built it for you.” He offered me his arm and led me to my favorite seat. “I’d been playing with the ideas but once you surrendered to the court, Andrew and Auley came to me asking about methods of escaping the United Kingdom.”

I agreed but quickly thought of issues. “Surely this invention of yours is not large enough for all of us.” He had only completed his prototype. The scale was much smaller than his plan for a vast skyship that could carry as many people as a medium-sized luxury cruiser. The advantage of that was it was on our roof even now and could be inflated in a few short hours. We would wait until dark. Then Mr. Hall and I would escape in the cover of night. The men would allow police entrance to my home and then follow on the ship as scheduled.

 

We loaded a few of my trunks, my valuables and my chair in pitch black and then made our escape as silently as possible. The few remaining police stood watch at the exits but none thought to look up to the sky until it was much too late.

To say the view of London at night from the air was breathtaking would be a gross understatement. Quickly we flew too high for details to be made out but with a loss of detail came the gain of perspective. London became a gridwork of roads, littered with flickering gas lights. Individuals could no longer be seen but the whole of the city became one. I was smitten with my city in a way I had never been as a resident. It was too dirty, too crowded, too London. A pang of homesickness struck me as I thought I might be experiencing my last night of peaceful sleep on home soil. Mr. Hall flew in the dark and I fell asleep.

I woke in my favorite chaise. Its feel was quite familiar. When I opened my eyes, the view was anything but. Glass windowpanes surrounded me. The sun had risen recently, and we were over water. I saw the ocean much as I had London, in a completely new way. This trip held many firsts for me. First flight, first time completely surrounded by water. I had ridden in boats before but they were on rivers or lakes. Never before had I seen only water. It was as if I were the center-point of a circle. Water for as far as I could see lay in any and all directions.

Mr. Edwin Hall stood where I assumed he’d been all night, at the ship’s helm. “Good morning, my lady,” he said, seeming to see me as well as anyone with sight.

“Good morning, Mr. Hall. What an amazing way to wake! What a view.” I stood and straightened my skirts. “And please, dispense with ‘my lady’ as I am certain the title disappeared when I was convicted of murder, arson, treason and then fled the country. Call me Ramillia. You have certainly earned the right.”

“If that is what my l…you wish, but only if you will call me Ed.”

And so with the formalities over, I followed Ed around the gondola allowing him to explain the mechanics and point out navigation techniques. Passing through clouds, the mist enveloped our vessel. Ed narrated, “We could secrete ourselves by hiding in a large cloud, should we need. That is why I call this a skyship and not an airship. The Precious Lady flies higher in the atmosphere than other similar vessels. She also has a special coating which makes her blend more thoroughly.”

I leaned against the glass but could not get a good look at the Precious Lady’s hull. Gazing down, an oval shadow emerged from the cloud-shaped one. Yet another way a cloud would hide our whereabouts.

When he finished the tour and fell quiet, the silence screamed in my ears. The noise of London had become normalized and now, without sound, I felt a rush. Wind built and pushed me to stay here, hovering above the ground. No one could demand anything of me from here. No pain could touch me. Unless…and just that quickly the world rushed back in. Incola could always reach beyond the grasp of men. The only peace I would ever have would be if all Incola were erased from the face of the earth.

“We are headed to New York, Captain?” I asked.

“No, my l… Ramillia. New York is…dangerous. We do not know what type of reception we might receive there. I have procured a landing site for your exclusive use in a town very near to the island of New York.”

By procured, I knew he meant purchased. I had given half of my fortune to the Duchess for care of my Dawn, but even the remaining half was more than a person, even with a household as large as mine, could spend in ten lifetimes. I did not worry even though I might live for ten lifetimes should I so choose.

The revolution of the American British colonies the previous century was still fresh on the collective British mind. If they could overthrow old regimes, what kept other colonies and other segments of society from doing the same? Many had been saying the same for a hundred years: what is to keep the other colonies, the poor, or women from rebelling against the hierarchy? I had the right to vote, through a loophole, my whole life, though that was not the reality of most women at the time. The mere mention of the rebellious colony put an idea in my mind. It didn’t matter how long Incola had terrorized, minimized, and negated the Carriers. Overthrow was possible. The United States of America has since had a civil war, proving again it was possible to change the imbalance of the world.

Slaves could be free.

I had been lost in thought for too long. Ed must have thought I was dissatisfied with his plan because he said, “Sally agreed that your safety was of paramount importance.”

Taken aback, I stammered, “Sally? What do…?” Then I remembered, we had exposed our mental instability as I held Ambrose’s dying body. Sally and I spoke to each other aloud in full view of all my men on multiple occasions. I sank into the velveteen chaise behind me, defeated. “You must think I’m a lunatic.”

Ed hurriedly crossed to sit beside me, though he kept a respectable distance between us. It was only then that my Victorian sensibilities chimed in, reminding me of the inappropriateness of being alone with a man to whom I wasn’t married. “I do not use that word and even if I did, I wouldn’t apply it to you. Sally explained the situation to us all. She says she is another personality born out of necessity after a great traumatic event that your mind had difficulty handling.”

“And you believe her?” I asked incredulously.

“I understand that such a thing exists. The mind is incredible, far surpassing the ability of any invention I might imagine. I, like many of your men, wait for confirmation from you. We reserve our judgment. Is what she said true? Is she another aspect of yourself or is she an Incola riding you?”

I said nothing for a moment. I hadn’t, before that moment, really considered the possibility that Sally was an Incola.

Ramillia, we may have had difficulties recently, and for my part in those I am sorry, but in your heart you know. You know me.

Sally was right, of course. “She and I are two parts of the same. Sally has always been with me. She protected me from a reality too horrible to describe. Commands from her should be followed as closely as you follow my own, for that is what they are.”

“Are there others, in addition to you and Sally?”

Don’t tell him, Sally insisted. They cannot exchange places as you and I so no one will ever know of them unless we tell him.

I shook my head no. Ed knew that was directed at him. He started a discussion but I didn’t hear him. I agreed to some point he made and pretended to have been paying attention. I changed the subject.

 

Five days we were alone with Ed. It was unseemly, indecent even, and yet he remained ever the gentleman. No matter how many times I reminded him, he struggled to refer to me as Ramillia, his equal.

There was much manual labor onboard and I found I enjoyed it. My favorite times were when the wind died. If it had not been for the coal, we would have stalled, hanging in the air, dead. This skyship might have belonged to me but it was Ed’s in everything but name. He steered and stood at the Precious Lady’s helm, calling back to me, the richest and most powerful woman in all the world, when more coal needed to be shoveled onto the fire that drove the fans that pushed us through the empty air.

I saw sea creatures few had seen. Giant whales and intelligent dolphins dotted the water beneath. Fish jumped from the water to glide through the air a few seconds before diving back into the sea. Was their dance for us or were we simply in the correct location at the right time? I wondered. In the deepest darkest parts of the ocean I knew amazing creatures dwelt in places humans would never see. I imagined civilizations below waiting, biding time, waiting for just the right moment to rise and overthrow the prideful, selfish men who walked on dry land.

Most times, when possible, we floated, letting the wind carry us our intended direction. Eventually the ship that carried my men steamed right beneath us. It repeatedly struck me that the air was the only place where none could reach me. Even the men below, at the exact same latitude and longitude, were an eternity away. I was truly free and reveled in it.

Then, the coal ran out. Ed had known it would. The ship below us held reserves for our refueling but that meant landing on its deck. Ed handled the maneuver beautifully. My men were to have been preparing for my arrival, but the looks on their faces told me something hadn’t gone to plan. A small group of Spaniard Carriers had joined the passengers before setting sail. They were nothing my men couldn’t handle if it came to a fight but the most concerning thing was that they had not fallen ill after coming in contact with those who’d been infected and could no longer carry Incola. They seemed immune. They knew nothing of the illness, thanks to Paetus’ quick thinking and his communication ban.

My men took me below deck and stood guard outside while I washed and freshened myself. Some of my belongings had been brought aboard and I put on fresh clothes. As Ed and I had only preserved foods to eat on the Precious Lady, we went to the dining hall for a hot meal with more than one course. Paetus joined us, as did one of the Spaniards. His men stood a respectable distance back, giving us privacy but remaining close enough to provide protection.

The man from Spain was an exceptional gentleman. He held my chair, stood when I did, used my title even while introducing himself as Angel. He even poured my wine himself, personally tasting it to test for poison. I watched his lips on my glass. They were very full and lovely. His visage pleased me; every angle was pleasant. He was very handsome indeed. I had never met a Spaniard before and found his accent most exotic.

Angel was an emissary of sorts for his master who never left the comfort of his own country anymore. He’d grown old and was now ready to find another wife. His previous three had died in childbirth along with his children. “I know that your son was killed. Please accept my master’s deepest condolences on your loss. As you have no father to negotiate the terms of an acceptable marriage, allow me to suggest the quite favorable match with Master Juan. I know he will find you as lovely as I do. He sent me looking for a woman young enough to bear children but, forgive my bluntness, old enough to have birthed one or two. He hoped to find a wife of stout constitution; he never dreamed of finding a female Incola.”

“And what makes you think I am,” I paused, feigning thought, “What was it you called me? Incola?”

Angel sat back in his chair, lacing his fingers in his lap. He noticed me looking at his lap but said nothing, in true gentlemanly fashion. “I would like to say that it was purely my powers of deduction, for I have never seen a woman so overly guarded who was not royalty, nor one so rich at such a young age. I cannot, however, for while I did notice those things, it was my man,” he gestured to his guards and one bowed to me, “Francisco. He has a gifted sense of smell and can sniff out an Incola easily.” He ran his hands along his thighs, as if wiping them on his trousers. “How is it one as incredible as you is not already married?”

“I have been married twice in my life, and widowed twice,” I answered him.

“What bad luck to have lost two husbands while you are still so young.”

I smiled at him, then took a sip of my wine. “I did not lose them, sir. I killed both.”

That women could be violent seemed not to shock this Carrier. He continued, “Even so, I believe the marriage to my master would be found pleasant. He is generous and kind and not unpleasing on the eyes, even for an older man. He does not misuse those beneath him; he only uses us for tasks that we accept.” The way he looked at my neck and then décolletage when he said “tasks” told me that this handsome young man served in a bedroom setting more often than a boxing ring.

Having finished the meal and grown tired of the conversation, no matter how attractive the messenger, I told Angel I was not interested in marrying again. He pressed, saying his master would and could give me anything I wanted. Power, influence, land, wealth, whole countries—nay, continents—to worship me. When I told him I had everything I wanted, he argued that once Master Juan knew of my existence, he would not give up, could never accept no as an answer.

This upset Paetus. He stood so quickly that his chair overturned. He was no feminist, though that word did come into use at about that time. Paetus held a knife at Angel’s throat. The other Spaniards jumped but my men greatly outnumbered them. Everyone froze. Paetus looked to me to decide this man’s fate. At the subtle shake of my head, Paetus sat down and used that very same knife to cut a bite from his plate of food, as if nothing had happened.

I stood to go. “You sir, had better hope Master Juan never finds out about my existence, for if he does, I will have to kill him. No one, Incola or otherwise, can give me what I want, for my only desire is freedom.”

 

I spent that night on the ship. While our Precious Lady was being restocked, I met each sailor and passenger. They were all very curious about me. Of course it helped that I bought each one a drink of their choice in the on-board tavern. To the ones who could not imbibe at that time, I gave coin to purchase a drink at the time of their choosing.

Games were played, spirits drunk, dances danced, and sensibilities offended. I cared not. While it was fun, I found myself longing for the safety and solitude of flight. Ed and I boarded the Precious Lady early the next morning.

The next week was one of the best of my life. I found Ed’s company more than tolerable. He had a brilliant mind. We discussed all manner of things in depth. It reminded me most of the time I spent with Julian at the beginning of our marriage. Yes, he betrayed me repeatedly, tried to take over my body, and, suppress me completely. Julian was also my confidant, the first man I ever lay with willingly, my benefactor. He encouraged me to develop my skills, my mind.

My life may be completely alien to most but in some ways it is universal. I have come to understand a great many things. Life is not black and white. No person is just good or evil. Neither is it shades of gray. I propose that it is painted with all the vivid colors. True you may not like all of the colors equally but it cannot be argued that removing those less loved would not completely alter the picture. I would not have my picture altered. Sally, whose life encapsulated all of our paint, agreed. She would not give up the pain Father caused because through that pain came Dawn.

Another thing understood from those talks with Ed is that beauty does not always mean good just as ugly does not always equal evil. I found that at times, when Ed and I were so engrossed in conversation that the world melted away, I forgot that he was the same vile, repugnant face I first saw through the door at the insane asylum. I began to think of him as attractive. Not in a sexual manner, mind you. He was a good person and therefore attractive, not the other way around, as most women of my era were taught.

My men had devised a way to communicate with me while I floated in the silence of the air. I ignored them, not wanting to give up my freedom to their worries, but eventually Ed insisted we hear what they had to say. We dropped altitude enough that a letter in a basket could be raised.

The letter was not signed; none claimed it. Information was passed without feeling. The Spaniards had fallen ill after my visit. It was the same illness that rendered my men unable to carry an Incola. Some of the sailors and other passengers had gotten sick as well. They obviously carried the latent Carrier gene.

Ed lamented the loss of his testing equipment. “What I wouldn’t give for the ability to test their blood in my laboratory!” he exclaimed.

When he calmed down, he and I together worked out several points:

One: Juan would likely believe we poisoned and killed his men.

Two: The weapon was still active and useful in ending Incola power.

Three: I was now the weapon.

I had but one question. “What are the names of the major Incola families of the new world?”