Chapter Fifteen

Outside, the Suzy G continued to ride the gentle swells of the Atlantic. In spite of the late afternoon sun beating down on the cabin, an icy shiver crawled over Kellee’s skin. Even the warmth of Egan’s arm around her shoulders couldn’t stop gooseflesh from pebbling on her skin. “I don’t believe you. Byron O’Neal is my father.”

Oleg must be lying. She looked away and swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She didn’t want to believe the Russian. If she did, then she’d have to believe her life—a life she was barely starting to remember—was a lie.

“I know what Nikolai has told me,” Oleg said. “What reason would he have to lie?”

“What else did he tell you?” Egan’s steely edged tone was back, and she was grateful his questions weren’t directed at her.

“He told me to bring Katya to him for protection.” Oleg nodded to Kellee. “Katya is your birth name.”

If that was true, then Petre showing up at her apartment wasn’t a mistake—and she’d killed him. She was going to be sick. She jerked out of Egan’s hold and pushed him off the bench so she could stand.

His hand came out, but she stepped out of his reach. “Are you okay?”

“I need to get out,” she said. She wanted to run. As far away as possible. Only there was no place to hide.

Pacing between the chart table and galley sink, she hugged her middle and inhaled the Atlantic breeze from the open cabin window. This couldn’t be happening. She had scarcely recovered from the first attack and the evacuation. Now this man was telling her she was someone named Katya? If she was Katya, then who was Kellee O’Neal?

Egan’s worried expression didn’t help. She’d relied on his strength, his confidence, to help her learn her past. Right now, he seemed as lost as she felt. He glared at Oleg.

“You’ve been following us,” Egan said. It wasn’t a question.

“Her.” Oleg corrected. “I have followed Katya. I have been on her trail. I found her the same time you did. I have learned she killed Petre.”

Petre. She added him to her list of troubles she wanted to forget.

“I didn’t mean to kill him. He was trying to hurt me. You can’t blame me for what happened.” She shivered, feeling his ghostly presence.

“Petre is—was my brother,” Oleg replied. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “Viktor Solonik sent him to get you.”

“I killed your brother?” Kellee felt the blood drain from her face. Her knees locked, and she leaned against the sink for support. “I’m so sorry. It was an accident.”

“Who were the men on the dock?” Egan asked, preventing Kellee from adding more apologies.

Oleg’s expression changed from one of sadness to no expression at all. “They work for Viktor Solonik, too.”

“You mean ‘worked,’ ” Egan said, a reminder that the men were dead.

“Da.” Oleg inclined his head.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “Who is this Viktor?”

“Viktor Solonik is Nikolai’s American connection. A front-man.”

“You’re with the Russian Mafia,” Egan said.

Kellee’s chest tightened. “Mafia?”

Oleg dipped his head in acknowledgement. “A business organization.”

“Business?” Kellee nearly choked on the word. “You call what happened on the dock, business?”

“It was for your protection,” Oleg insisted.

“I don’t need protection! I was safe before you barged into my life. Why can’t you leave me alone?”

Egan leaned back against the seat, a whistle pushing through his lips.

Kellee glanced at him. “What?”

“I just put some of the pieces together.” He gave Oleg a sidelong look. “Solonik is attempting a takeover, and he wants Kellee as a pawn.”

Oleg leaned forward as if to stress the importance of his words. “Da. Da. Solonik sent those men. I stopped them.” He shrugged, as if the deaths of the two men were no more important than discussing a dinner menu. “Solonik believes Nikolai neglects the business for family. He will use you to get Nikolai’s attention.”

“If Solonik gets what he wants, what will happen to Kellee?” Egan asked.

“Oh, she will die,” Oleg said. “As will Nikolai. However, if I take you to Nikolai first, then you will be safe.” He paused as the words sank in.

“That’s kidnapping,” Kellee said. “I refused to go with Petre. I’m not going with you, either. This Nikolai person has no authority over my life.” She wrapped her arms tighter around herself.

A breeze brushed her cheeks. Pacing and fresh air helped quell her nausea, but tension increased across her shoulders. She wanted out of the cabin, away from Oleg. Opening the door, she stood looking over the stern at the water. The sound of the waves lapping against the hull didn’t offer the comfort she sought. She pressed her palms against her forehead. Her entire situation became more and more bizarre by the minute.

Egan came up behind her. “Are you okay?”

No. I’m not okay. She raised her hand to stop him from touching her. She couldn’t think straight when he touched her. “I’ll be fine. I just need some time.” Egan had enough to worry about without her completely losing her cool. “Can’t we go to my father for help? I mean O’Neal, not this Nikolai Orlov.”

“No.”

“Nyet.”

Oleg had overheard their conversation.

She understood why Oleg didn’t want her to get help. She faced Egan. “Why keep me away from my father?”

“O’Neal knows he’s being watched.” Egan looked at Oleg. “Isn’t that right?”

“Da. Since the storm, Solonik has men waiting in Washington, D.C., and at your home in Maryland.”

“Waiting for what?” Kellee asked. She looked from Oleg to Egan.

Egan brushed a hand down the chilled skin on her arm. “Waiting for you to come home, sweet Kellee.” His voice was gentle, an attempt to soothe, but his words alarmed her.

“This is why my father asked you to make me disappear. This is exactly the situation he wanted to avoid.” Now she understood why Egan couldn’t take her home. Why he’d been asked to hide her. For how long? She couldn’t stay on the run forever. “So what do we do now?”

“You could untie me?” Oleg suggested with a sly smile.

****

Egan motored the Suzy G closer to shore. They were about a half-mile east of Florida’s beaches when he dropped anchor again and called in his position to Paul. The bodies had caused quite an uproar. Leaving as he had, Egan put Paul in an impossible position and felt badly about it. He promised the old dockmaster that as soon as he could return he’d give a statement to the authorities. In the meantime, he hoped Paul wasn’t having too much trouble handling the pressure.

As night fell over the eastern seaboard, radiant stars littered a moonless sky. For the moment, the boat rolled gently over the swells on the quiet ocean. A deceptive tranquility that kept Egan’s senses on high alert.

Earlier, Kellee had prepared a meal of turkey sandwiches for the three of them. Egan had watched her, sensing her turbulent emotions. She ate very little, and he worried about how this new development affected her. She seemed strong, a characteristic he’d always attributed to her parents’ influence. But now it appeared Byron and Katherine weren’t her biological parents, after all. Biology aside, Egan knew from experience that character wasn’t necessarily passed through DNA. He and his brother had learned a lot from Uncle Chuck after their parents died. What their uncle hadn’t taught them, the Navy did. It was only after Rory’s death that Egan stopped caring about his own character. At least until he’d met Byron.

On reflection, he’d learned some important life lessons after he started his journey with Northstar. Another reason to heed Byron’s warning and wait until the man had cleared up the situation on his end.

Unfortunately, Byron wasn’t aware of how all this was affecting Kellee. None of his clout could help her. They were on their own, as isolated as his thirty-foot boat was in the vast Atlantic. It was up to Egan to keep the Russian Mafia from capturing Kellee and using her as a pawn in their power struggle. He needed to make sure the mobsters wouldn’t come after her once they were back on shore.

A noise behind him warned that Kellee was coming out of the lower bedroom, and he turned as she stepped into the galley.

“Where’s Oleg?” she asked.

She’d put on a sweater in deference to the cool breeze coming off the water. It covered her scanty top, but one glimpse of her shapely legs stretching below those shorts, and he heated up quickly. He shifted his eyes forward. “He’s topside. I’ve tied him to the front railing for some fresh air.” Egan looked out the side cabin window. Their Russian guest was still vomiting over the side of the boat.

“You let him outside? What if he tries to break the boat? Or jump over the side?”

There was just enough light in the cabin for Egan to see Kellee’s reflection in the glass. Her mouth gaped open like a sea bass. He chuckled. “Our guest isn’t going anywhere,” he said. “He’s pretty seasick. I didn’t want that inside the cabin.”

“Oh.”

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” Her answer was abrupt. “I’m not getting seasick, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That’s good. Except you’re not fine, are you?”

Kellee’s eyes narrowed. “How are you?” She countered, referring to his head wound. She clearly didn’t want to answer his question.

“I have a headache, but I’ll be fine, too,” he said. “Stop changing the subject. We’re not talking about me.”

****

Damn him. Egan had a knack for reading her mind when it suited him. She couldn’t help but think that if he’d read her mind this morning before breakfast, they would have avoided all this drama. No attempted kidnapping. No killings. Her name would still be Kellee O’Neal, and breaking down Egan’s defenses would be her biggest problem.

She’d just have to push her desires aside and focus on setting her life on course. Her sudden accumulation of baggage was an unfair burden to carry into any relationship. Even Egan, one of the most stalwart souls she knew, didn’t deserve to be saddled with her problems. Regret and anger simmered together, forcing her to recognize that no one could salvage this mess—except her.

“I’ve been thinking.” She hoped she sounded more casual than she felt.

Egan kept his back to her, gazing out toward the bow. The image of his face reflected off the cabin window glass, and his mouth flattened into a grim line at her statement.

“It’s okay for me to think,” she said. “You don’t have to look like that.”

“Like what?” He turned around. Shadows emphasized the planes and angles of his profile. His rugged face seemed more sexy than threatening.

“Like the world’s coming to an end.” She almost wished he would read her mind. Like last night, she could use the distraction, instead of thinking about her decision and what it meant to her future.

He sighed. “You’ve never been good at hiding your feelings.” He adjusted a gauge on the console, then stepped over to the captain’s chair and sat down. “Okay, Kellee. Tell me what you’ve been thinking.”

His patronizing tone made her wish she could walk away—show him she was in charge of her own destiny and could do just fine without his help. Except she wouldn’t get far on the boat. In that way, she was as trapped as Oleg.

Sitting on the bench, she gathered her thoughts.

Egan raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“I think I should end this cat-and-mouse game.” The words rushed out, and she took a moment to center herself.

He frowned, but didn’t say anything, so she continued. “I think I should meet Nikolai.”

“No.”

It wasn’t the explosion she’d expected—a good sign. It was still a no, but she didn’t give up. “You haven’t even heard what I’m thinking,” she said.

“I don’t need to. It’s too dangerous.”

“Hiding isn’t dangerous?” she asked. “Running from the Russians isn’t dangerous? You tried to hide me, and it didn’t work.” Danger was the one constant in her life at the moment.

“O’Neal will handle this. When it’s over, he’ll call, and I’ll take you home.”

“Handle it—how?”

“I’m sure he’s working on a solution.”

“If he’d been on top of this situation, how did those goons find us?” She lifted her chin, challenging Egan’s logic.

A muscle twitched in his cheek. “Those goons found us because I failed to put proper security measures in place.”

She hated that Egan blamed himself. “So now you’re supposed to have eyes in the back of your head? Could you have prevented anything that’s happened up to this point?”

“I should have been more focused on the situation around us. Instead of…”

You.

He didn’t say the word, but it hung in the cool ocean air between them. He couldn’t say it for the same reason she couldn’t let him say it. She wasn’t ready to hear it. There wasn’t anything they could do about it right now.

Egan swallowed. “We’ll have to trust Byron. I’m sure you’ll be able to go home soon.”

Disappointment punched hard. “And good little Kellee will be sent away someplace safe again!”

Egan sat back in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve remembered.” The blunt tips of her fingernails bit into her palm at the memories that had come rushing back over the last hour.

“What?”

“Everything.” Bitterness coated her tongue. Jumbled images tumbled over one another, mingling with the new revelations she’d learned today. “You never knew what it was like for me, growing up under the Northstar shadow. Mom, Dad, even Riley, constantly checking up on me, never letting me anywhere near the heart of the business.”

She relaxed her hands and interlaced her fingers to keep them from trembling. The last elusive memories of her past had finally returned while she’d been changing her clothes. Memories of her mother. The pain of her mother’s death felt as fresh as though it had happened this morning. Her emotions had been so overwhelming, she’d nearly dropped to her knees as images crashed into her mind like a rogue wave.

“Tell me.” Egan’s chair creaked as he leaned forward, his forearms on his knees. Concern gleamed in his eyes, his face sober with interest. It was a less formidable expression and more dangerous to her resolve because of the way her heart responded. She wanted to reach for him—feel his heat, bask in the safety of his arms.

Instead, she curbed her need and told him what she’d remembered. “Mom didn’t just die in an accident, did she? She was killed.”

Egan nodded. “While on assignment.”

She touched the pendant. The day Mom died was as clear as Egan sitting in front of her. She couldn’t stop the memory reeling through her mind, nor could she stop the pain.

She’d walked home from school, anticipating a quiet house to study for spring finals. Instead, her father and Riley were unexpectedly sitting at the kitchen table, staring blindly at the walls. Neither of them spoke. She’d glanced around. Her mother wasn’t there. In that instant, she knew her life had changed. Neither Riley nor her father could ease the anguish for her or for each other.

She pushed the memory aside. It wouldn’t help her cause now. “After Mom died, Dad and Riley withdrew from me. They wouldn’t talk to me about her, about what happened. They wouldn’t let me in. They even stopped talking to each other for a while.

“That’s when I came to you, to the mat, for extra hours of training. It helped…you helped me. When everyone else turned away, you were there.” In the night air, tears cooled on her cheeks. She hadn’t realized she was crying.

Egan didn’t move to comfort her, but that was for the best. She might not be able to finish what she had to say if she found herself pulled into his embrace. She impatiently brushed the dampness away. To make her case she had to stay strong. “You didn’t know that you’d helped me, did you?”

He shook his head. She was fascinated by the muscle that twitched in his cheek, a telltale sign of his pent-up emotion.

“The workouts helped me, too.” His voice was hoarse.

“You loved her too, didn’t you?” Kellee asked.

Egan nodded. “She was a good woman. A good friend.”

“I tried to tell Dad I could fill in for her. Not to take her place, but to help. I took the classes I needed in school. I studied to become an agent. He refused. He wouldn’t even discuss it with me. Riley sided with Dad. Eventually, I wanted peace in the family more than becoming a Northstar agent. I stayed on to do office work, but it was so hard not to be part of the team.”

“He was right to protect you,” Egan said.

“I didn’t need protection, I needed—acceptance. To be part of the O’Neal and Northstar legacy. Something that will never happen.” She stood and crossed to his captain’s chair. Planting her hands on either side of the armrests, she forced him to lean back and look in her eyes. “And now you’re protecting me. I don’t need your protection. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Egan placed his hands on her shoulders and held her away from him. “You’ve proven how tough you are, but this situation is different. You’re stuck with me for the duration, so suck it up and let the matter drop.”

“No.”

He raised his eyebrows at her direct disobedience.

If she didn’t make her point right here, right now, she’d never get another chance. “I’m going to meet with Nikolai. I’m going to learn the facts about who I am and where I came from. I deserve that much, after all the years Dad withheld the truth from me. You can either help me, or stay out of my way.”

Egan studied her, as though assessing the strength of her resolve.

She didn’t blink. She didn’t back down. And, as much as she wanted to, she didn’t throw herself into his arms.

“No,” he said.

“You won’t help me?” She couldn’t keep the disappointment out of her voice. She had hoped she wouldn’t have to face Nikolai alone.

“These people are dangerous. You can’t just waltz into Russian Mafia headquarters and ask to see Nikolai Orlov.”

“You can’t stop me. Oleg will help me.”

Egan stood, towering over her. He obviously intended to intimidate, but she refused to cower. He wasn’t going to take away her opportunity to learn about her past. No one was going to stop her from gaining closure and moving on with her life.

She met his stare with one of her own. “You can’t keep me on this boat indefinitely. You won’t always be watching over my shoulder.” She squared her feet and folded her arms. “Once I’m home, Dad can’t stop me from digging into my past. What’s he going to do? Kill Nikolai to keep the secret? Will more people die because of me?” She shook her head. “It’s too late. I already know about the lies. I want to know the truth.”

Egan turned to look out over the ocean. Kellee watched his reflection off the wheelhouse window for any sign he understood how much she wanted his help.

Nothing.

Her throat worked, and she licked her lips. “True victory is victory of one’s self.”

As her instructor, he’d touted that maxim so she’d understand that strength was more than physical, it came from within. Egan had to face the fact that she’d grown up and had earned the right to battle her personal demons. On her terms. He couldn’t coddle her any longer.

He took a deep breath and released it through his pursed lips.

Kellee took a step toward him. “Say something.”

“If Solonik finds you, he’ll kill you on sight.”

“I’m willing to take that chance.”

He clenched his fists. “I’m not.”

She swallowed her disappointment. Until now, she hadn’t realized how much she’d counted on Egan to be on her side, to help her. She backed away from him. “I will find Nikolai, with or without your help. I’m not running anymore.” She turned and was nearly at the door to the lower cuddy when he spoke.

“Okay.”

Okay? Did Egan just agree with her?

She looked over her shoulder. “You’ll help me?” She breathed the question, afraid she might have misheard him.

He stood there, staring at her as though he was never going to see her again.

She rushed to him, gazing into his face, looking for any hint he was teasing.

He drew closer and cupped a hand around her neck. Warmth tripped the nerves from her spine to her toes.

“I’ll help you,” he said softly. “God help me, I can’t let you go alone.”

Trepidation overrode her joy. She was over her first hurdle and all of a sudden she wasn’t sure she wanted in the race. Too late now. The wheels were in motion, and she wasn’t turning back.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Standing on her toes, she brushed a kiss over his lips.

Egan pulled away, but kept his hand on her neck. “Are you going to start calling yourself Katya?” he asked.

“No.” She smiled and leaned toward him. “I like it when you call me sweet Kellee.”

His gaze dropped to her lips. Unconsciously, she licked the dryness away. When his head lowered, she closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath against her mouth. Her entire body came alive with the anticipation of his kiss.

He groaned and dropped his hand.

She opened her eyes as he stepped away. She swayed into the void he’d left.

Egan stared out the porthole. “I assume you have a plan?”

A raw ache curled into the emptiness in her stomach. She had wanted his kiss more than she realized and it took a moment to answer his question. “We’ll talk to Oleg. He’ll know how to contact Nikolai and set up a meeting.”

“After you meet him, then what? Solonik is still out there, and he’s not likely to give up trying to use you to take over Nikolai’s business.”

“We’ll tell Nikolai that his man is a traitor. Once he knows, then I won’t be in the middle of their war. I refuse to be used as a pawn.”

“I think you’re over-simplifying the problem.” He sighed. “We’ll take it one step at a time. I’ll tell Oleg we want to talk to his boss.” He crossed the short distance to the cabin door.

Kellee nodded to herself as Egan stepped outside. She wasn’t making a mistake. Meeting Nikolai was her only recourse to clear up her past and remove the danger hanging over her head. Then she’d be free to pursue her future. A future she hoped would include Egan. A moment ago, he’d wanted to kiss her—she knew it. Next time, she wouldn’t let him back away. That thought gave her plenty of motivation to move into her new future.