I think Master Skywalker planned on or hoped for something a bit festive in the way of a meal for our guest. This meant I got tagged with kitchen duty. While I didn’t really have any formal training in the culinary arts—and the Holocron had not revealed any Jedi power oriented toward making food taste good—I had been raised on Corellia and had seen a fair amount of the galaxy. Luke reasoned that I knew more about interesting food than a Bespin hermit or Dorsk 81—especially because the clone’s digestive system was so specialized he could only eat processed food wafers.
Ugh.
Luckily for me, I’d learned all I needed to know about cooking from the chef on Siolle Tinta’s private yacht. During a party with which I had become bored I met Chid—like all great artists, he asserted he only needed one name—and we chatted about the self-important guests on the cruise. We also drank, and after a lot of chatting and even more drinking, Chid confided in me the keys of great culinary success.
“First, make portions small. If they want more, they think it was good. Two, give the dish an exotic name and make it sound like there are secret spices in there. Snobs will spend much time trying to see if their palate is sophisticated enough to detect one part per million of Ithorian saffron and they won’t dare pass judgment on the food for fear someone will think them a boor. Three, serve things that are supposed to be cooked raw, and serve hot things cold. Makes them think it’s special. Four—most important—tell them you created it special for them. Only a Gamorrean would protest such an honor.”
The academy’s supplies weren’t really long on spices—calling them survival rations would actually be stretching a point—but mashing up ration bars, mixing them with fruit compotes and baking them into long slender loaves that I sliced on a bias made for an interesting breadlike food. Dried meat became something of a stew with enough boiling, and tossing the dried veggies into the meat broth allowed them to soak up some flavor. And since we’d all gotten to realizing that the grain gruel the New Republic sent probably wouldn’t kill us, I concentrated on spicing it, and garnished a big plate of it with a couple blueleaf sprigs that made the yellowish mound of grain look special for the occasion. I also included the obligatory salad of local greens, but only because Master Skywalker seemed to enjoy it.
I’d just finished serving everything and was returning from the kitchen after shutting down the stove, when Kyp stormed out of the dining room and clipped me with a shoulder.
“Hey, Kyp, what’s the problem?”
The younger man said nothing and continued to stalk down the corridor. I ran after him and caught up with him after a couple of steps. I dropped my left hand on his left shoulder. “Kyp, answer me.”
Kyp whirled beneath my hand, his dark eyes blazing. I felt something solid hit my chest, but I’d already begun to move to my right. The Force blow he aimed at me glanced off the left side of my chest, yet was strong enough to bounce me off the corridor wall. I caught myself against the rough stones, but not before I’d slid halfway to the floor.
“You are not my master.” Kyp shifted from pointing at me to pointing back toward the dining room. “He is not my master. What good is it being a Jedi if we do not act?”
“What good is it if we are Jedi that don’t act responsibly?” I hauled myself upright. “Remember, Kyp, ‘no-good Jedi’ kicked Exar Kun’s butt.”
Kyp struck at me again through the Force, but I expected it this time. I relaxed and let the Force energy flow over and through me. I absorbed enough of it to let me create a shield that split the attack. The fact that I didn’t end up being ground back against the wall surprised him.
“You’re good, Kyp, but you’re not great.” I held my hands up in a nonthreatening gesture. “You’re involved with someone who lost a long time ago. Don’t compound his error.”
“And who will stop me?”
I hesitated because Kyp’s words seemed to echo within themselves. It took me a second or two to figure out that the echo wasn’t a purely auditory phenomenon. I was hearing Kyp’s voice through my ears, but the undertones were coming to me through the Force. We were not alone, which meant Kyp’s mentor had come to aid his apprentice.
“I will, if you make it necessary.”
An ancient sneer of contempt twisted Kyp’s features. “Puny Jedi, you are of no concern to me.”
Even though I braced myself for another attack, it did no good. Kyp’s previous Force blows were like light breezes compared with a full-out gale. I slammed back into the wall with a teeth-rattling impact. As my body absorbed Force energy and fed it back out, the shield I’d created grew in size. More importantly, my surprise and survival instinct opened me up to the Force and allowed it to flow into the shield. Even so, Kyp’s attack jammed the shield back against the wall and I watched stone crumble beneath its rim.
The safe area I had began to shrink, and my chest became tight as it compressed my ribs. I looked Kyp straight in the eyes and tried to shoot into his brain the image of the mask of hate he wore, but the world around me went black before I could tell if I’d had any success at all.
I awakened probably less than a minute after that, judging by how much of the grain gruel had been consumed in my absence. I hung in the doorway to the dining room, my ribs a bit sore. Streen got up from his place and helped me to a chair while Tionne poured me a glass of water.
I drank it, wishing it was full of Corellian whiskey.
Luke’s blue eyes became slits. “What happened to you?”
“Kyp didn’t like the menu.” I winced as a twinge ran through my ribs. “We had a discussion in the hallway. You didn’t feel anything?”
Heads all around the table shook and I felt cold dread begin to congeal in my stomach. If Exar Kun could mask the attack on me in such a way that Luke could not feel it barely fifteen meters away, then he could have slain Gantoris and could still wreak more havoc here with impunity. We were up against something more powerful than I’d ever cared to imagine existing.
I stood. “Master Skywalker, I would have a word with you, alone.”
The other apprentices started to get up, but Luke waved them back down into their seats. “We will be but a moment. The kitchen?”
I nodded and followed him. Once alone in the kitchen, Luke turned on me. “You should not have attempted to interfere with Kyp.”
I blinked with surprise. “I wasn’t trying to interfere. He was upset. I just asked what was happening.”
“But you did something to provoke an attack, didn’t you?”
I rubbed a hand along my jaw and leaned back against the conservator. “It’s an old interrogation technique. I drew a conclusion from what I saw earlier this evening and tried it out. I told him Exar Kun had gotten his butt kicked by the Jedi, and that Kun was wrong. I got a reaction, a very strong one.”
“Kyp is strong in the Force.” Luke folded his arms over his chest. “He has a certain sympathy for Exar Kun. The reaction was not to be unexpected.”
“I could buy into that, but I felt another presence. Not strongly, but it was there and it helped Kyp’s next attack pack a wallop.”
“And you think that was Exar Kun?”
I thought for a moment before answering. “Either it is Exar Kun or someone calling himself Exar Kun because Kyp reacted to that name. Could be it’s someone just trying to wrap himself up in Kun’s legend, just the way he presented himself to you as your father. Regardless, he’s powerful. Kind of what I would expect from a Dark Lord of the Sith.”
Luke shook his head. “You’re making a mistake jumping to the conclusion that we’re dealing with Exar Kun. We don’t know what happened to him in the end.”
“Look, I’ve been with Tionne as she’s pulled as much information as we can from the Holocron about Kun. He was running the culture here and a massive Jedi strike wiped it out. Certain conclusions seem logical from there.” I shrugged. “I think planning for the worst case scenario can’t hurt.”
“There might be gatekeepers in the Holocron that have data about Exar Kun that neither you nor Tionne can access. I will have to conduct my own investigation in that area.”
I caught a note of hesitancy in his voice. “You’re not thinking that just because you were able to redeem the last Dark Lord of the Sith that Exar Kun might have had a change of heart, are you?”
Luke’s face became impassive. “That can’t be ruled out.”
“Wait a minute, you can’t be serious.” I watched him carefully. “Look, if Exar Kun was never redeemed, if no other Dark Lord of the Sith ever saw the error of his ways and came back to the light side, that means nothing concerning your father. You’re letting yourself think that if you’d been good enough, if you’d done everything right, your father could have, would have survived. You’re thinking that you didn’t work hard enough to redeem him because, if you had, he’d still be here. And you’re thinking that if another Dark Lord had been redeemed, then you could compare what you did to what happened to him and learn if you really did do all you could do.”
“No, no way.” Luke shook his head adamantly. “You have it all wrong.”
“Could be, Master Skywalker, but …” I swallowed hard. “Look, I know exactly how this game is played because I did the same thing when my father died. Neither one of us can be certain that we did all we could to save them, but all the second guessing in the galaxy won’t give us a second chance at saving them. The only thing we can do is accept responsibility and live with the consequences.”
Luke’s expression remained impassive, but even that told a story. Just for a moment I got to see him as the human being he was. Raised by relatives on Tatooine, always wondering about his parents, never learning how to properly deal with a mother or father. He had to constantly wonder why his life wasn’t “normal,” not realizing that everyone asks themselves that question. And then, when he discovered who his father was, it turned out that his father was the trusted henchman of the galaxy’s most hated individual. His father had not only killed people, but he had been the betrayer of the most noble tradition in the galaxy. He determined he would save his father and did, just in time to lose him forever.
I walked over and rested my hands on his shoulders. “You did all you could do. You know that. Here, with this academy, you are helping erase the legacy your father left behind. What you are doing is good and vital, but you can’t let your need for reassurance blind you to what’s going on here, right now. Kyp is out of control and under the influence of someone that is steeped in the dark side. You have to talk to him and straighten him out.”
I felt a wave of peace flow down over Luke. “You’ve now reasoned your way to a conclusion I made before your confrontation with him. Kyp is still in a state of turmoil. I think he would see intervention right now as a confrontation, don’t you?”
I nodded. “Let him sort his head out himself? He’s a smart kid, it could definitely work. If I can be of any help …”
“Just don’t provoke him.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry for interfering, Master Skywalker. I’ll gladly leave him alone. With his ally he’s out of my weight class anyway.” I smiled carefully. “I don’t pick fights where I know I’ll get pounded.”
Luke returned my smile. “Unless there is a good reason.”
“Right, and I can’t think of one that will be good enough to deal with Kyp any time soon.”
In retrospect, there were billions of reasons to confront Kyp and risk getting my head handed to me. Luke was the Jedi Master and he asked me to step away, so I did because I agreed with his plans. Even now I wish I’d tried to do something, but all the scenarios I worked out in my head turned out just as bloody as the real thing did.
Short of murdering Kyp, I could have changed nothing.
And by murdering him, I would have irrevocably changed myself for the worst.
I returned to a meal that we completed in relative silence. What comments were offered were light, often of pleasant remembrances of childhood days. I noticed that Master Skywalker and Mara Jade remained quiet during those exchanges, as did Brakiss and I. The food itself was actually pretty good, though no one seemed to notice. And no matter how small the portions, no one seemed to finish what they had taken.
After cleaning up I retreated to my room, and heard Mara eventually go to hers. I was having trouble getting to sleep and almost strolled over to talk with her, but the way she’d politely shut me out earlier gave me a clue that I would just be courting rejection. I clearly didn’t need that, so I remained in my room, mentally reviewing and rehearsing the various moves I’d learned in using the lightsaber.
At some point the shrill bleating of an R2 unit penetrated my meditations. It took me a second to realize it wasn’t Whistler. I grabbed my lightsaber and went running out of the Great Temple, trailing two silhouettes that had to be Master Skywalker and Mara Jade. As I came out into the cool night air, I saw Mara Jade’s Z-95 Headhunter streaking away into the starry sky.
“He stole my ship!” Anger poured off Mara Jade in waves. “We’ve got to go after him.”
Luke shook his head. “We cannot.”
“What do you mean?”
I cleared my voice. “We don’t have any ships here.”
Mara’s jaw dropped. “No ships. No X-wings? You two without X-wings?”
“This is a school for Jedi, not pilots.” Luke’s face closed up as the other apprentices began to filter out of the Great Temple. “Kyp is gone. I don’t know if he will be back or not. I hope so.”
“Me, too.” Mara slowly ground a fist in the palm of her opposite hand. “Steal my ship, will he?”
Luke fixed her with a hard stare. “Mara, please, calm yourself. You’re not helping the situation. I’ve got to deal with my apprentices and explain this to them. After I see to them …”
The anger pulsating out from Mara lessened, but I had the feeling she’d just shielded its output. “Go, Luke. I understand.”
Master Skywalker walked back toward the Great Temple and never gave me a glance. I watched him go, but felt no inclination to follow. I didn’t know what he was going to tell everyone else, but I was fairly certain I already knew more than he would share with them. Being there and questioning his motives and thinking would have been as disruptive as Mara’s anger, so I remained behind.
She glared at me. “You can go, too.”
I shook my head. “Kind of a chilly night. Basking in the heat of your anger seems like a good choice.”
“And if I don’t want you here?”
“Easy now, Mara. Your ship was stolen, that’s all.” I kept a light tone in my voice. “It’s not like the sun went supernova.”
“It might as well have.”
I frowned. “Am I missing something? That was just a Z-95 Headhunter, right?”
“Right. It was nothing.” She scowled and then let it melt with a sigh. “It was everything.”
“I’m not tracking.”
“Of course not, you’ve never had to track.” Mara graced me with a disgusted look. “You were incredibly lucky, you know that? Your family was part of CorSec so your life was all mapped out for you. You went as far as you could there, then joined Rogue Squadron and strung victories together there. And then you find out that you’re really from a Jedi family and you end up here training to be what you’ve been destined to be since birth. It must’ve all just come very easy to you.”
“It wasn’t very easy at all.”
“But at least you had a course plotted out for you. You had family supporting you in your decisions.” She shook her head. “In a galaxy coming apart at the fusion joints, you were able to cruise along smoothly. You’re even here, studying to become a Jedi while your wife has been taken away from you. You’re so sure that what you’re doing is right that you can set aside the anxiety and concentrate here, and you can do that because this is just one more trial in the life of a hero.”
I started to protest what she was saying, but faint echoes of it rang true. They meant little to me, however, because of the chill cutting at my spine as I reversed her words and applied them to what little I knew about her. “You thought you were on the same sort of hero path, doing what you had to do to make a difference in the Empire. Then, bang, it’s all gone. Everything you worked for and with vanishes, cutting you off, leaving you adrift.”
“You’ve made your point.”
“Sorry.” I glanced away from her and off toward the jungle. “You’re smart enough and skilled enough to take care of yourself, but you’ve no longer got the benchmarks you used to use to measure your performance.”
“Right, and everything has been swapped black for white in the galaxy.” She turned to look off in the same direction as me, but jerked a thumb back toward the Great Temple. “I came here for instruction and to learn where I fit into the new order of things.…”
“And the ship was your escape valve. If you didn’t like things, you could take off.”
I felt a hint of resentment from her. “I’m not one to quit a project I start.”
“Didn’t say you were. It’s just you might find that what you get here isn’t actually what you want or need.” I turned to face her. “You’re not wholly wrong about my life, but you’re not right about it, either. When my parents died, I was left without knowing how to calibrate my moral compass. I found others who stepped in and helped me, but the search for that sort of support is one that goes on forever. You’ll continue to do it. I’ll continue to do it. Even Master Skywalker will do it.”
“Is that so?”
“It is.” I found my hands had knotted into fists so I willfully opened them. “You and I are lucky in that we’ve got someone like Master Skywalker around to help us figure out where we are and where we’re going.”
Her voice hardened. “But you don’t think he’s handling this Kyp Durron thing correctly.”
“He’s not doing it the way I would, but that doesn’t mean I think Luke’s heart isn’t in the right place. It is. He knows where he wants to go and where he wants to take the Jedi. I’m just not sure he’s navigating as smooth a course as he would like for the journey.”
Her head nodded, but she said nothing for a bit. I remained quiet, listening to the hunting cries of stintarils split the night. For all the turmoil of the earlier evening, once Kyp had left, things seemed to settle down. I let the evening’s growing peace slowly seep into me.
“I don’t like losing my freedom like this.”
“I understand, but it really isn’t a critical loss. New supply ship is due in a week, and it took Kyp at least that long to get as good as he is.” I gave her a quick smile. “Allow yourself the chance to see if what Master Skywalker offers really is what you need.”
“It’s as good a plan as any.”
“Considering there’s no alternative.”
Mara Jade let a little laugh slip out. “You’re destroying this image I had of you as a dumb fighter jock.”
“Serves you right. You’ve been listening to things Booster Terrik has to say about me.”
“True enough.” She turned and started walking back to the Grand Temple. “I understand you get up early and run in the morning.”
“With the dawn.”
“Mind company?”
“You’d go running with me?” I trotted over and fell into step with her. “I generally take a pretty nasty course.”
“You set it, I’ll run it.”
“Good enough,” I smiled. “Welcome to the Jedi academy, Mara Jade. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay.”