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A year had passed and Samuel and I had grown to know each other. We held hands in public and had intimate meals together. My parents were more than happy I had met a man with great social standing in town. Our first kiss happened in my father’s barn. It got a little heated and I ended up picking hay from my hair before going inside.
He picked me up in a carriage under the moonlight. It was winter again and I was thankful for the heavy dress I chose to wear. He helped me up into the carriage and wrapped me up in a heavy blanket.
“Where are we off to tonight?” I questioned as I blew out my hot breath into the crisp air.
“I have a special gift to give you.”
I smiled brightly, “What is it?” I was getting used to Samuel showering me with gifts. I was becoming a spoiled brat and I liked it.
“Patience, love,” he said and gave the rains a slap against the horse’s rear to get him moving. We bumped up the hill but we didn’t turn towards town. He was taking me in the other direction. A short time later we pulled up to a small hunting cabin. It was secluded and almost buried in the woods. I could already see the glow of the warm fire waiting inside. He hopped down and helped me to the ground. He took both of my hands in his and smiled down at me. He placed a soft kiss to my forehead.
We entered and I welcomed the heat. It smelled of rose oils and the wood burning in the hearth. Inside the small one room cabin was a table for eating and a single bed pushed off to the right of the entrance. On the floor in front of the fire, Samuel had set out blankets and what looked like a picnic setting. I had already eaten but I was ready for anything he was willing to give me. He had me completely sucked in.
“Do you like it?” he questioned.
“I love it,” I said and smiled up at him.
“Come have a seat in front of the fire,” he said and pulled me towards it. I adjusted my skirts and sat down. I hated having to deal with so much fabric. He sat next to me. “I brought you here tonight because I wanted to ask you a question, my love,”
“Which question is that?”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a simple golden band. He held it up so I could see it, “Willamina Marie Harford, will you marry me? Don’t worry. Your parents have already given their blessing.”
I didn’t know what to say. I was choking on my words. I wanted to accept his proposal but something was telling me to slow down. I did love him with all my heart but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be with him forever. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for my life to change so dramatically. I did want to be with him but I couldn’t help the feeling of knowing there was so much more life had to offer.
“Samuel, I...”
“Willow, I know it is a huge step but I believe it is the right one. Our families are meant to be together,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Trust me when I say this. Once our blood lines are tied together, there is nothing in this world that can stop us,” he said. I didn’t understand what he was talking about. How could us being together become unstoppable? “Do you not love me?”
His face grew rigid with anger. His brown eyes glistened in the fire and I got a distinct feeling that he wanted to strike me and would if I didn’t give him the right answer.
“Of course, I love you,” I said and reached my hand up to touch his face. He sighed and finally the anger was gone.
“Then give me your answer,” he said still holding the ring. I had to decide quickly before he grew angry again. I honestly didn’t want to hurt him. I wanted him happy. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and nodded. Samuel sighed happily and placed the ring on my finger quickly. He then grabbed my face roughly and kissed me hard. Then his hands began to move against my body in a sensual way that I had never experienced. He pulled my skirts up quickly. I grabbed his hand to stop him but he continued. I pulled out of the kiss.
“Samuel, slow down,” I said but he wouldn’t. His mouth made its way to my neck. I wanted to resist him but my body gave in. Moisture pooled between my thighs. I had been craving his touch since our first encounter in the barn. I wanted to find out what lovemaking was.
“You are mine, Willow. Nothing can change that now,” he said and gently lowered me to the floor. I gripped his head and pulled him in for another kiss. His body was frantic as his hands moved and he positioned himself between my legs. The heat of the fire kissed my naked thighs. His mouth was busy kissing and nipping at my breasts when I was struck with the pain. I cried out and Samuel froze. “I am sorry, love. This is how it has to be,” he said before thrusting inside me quickly. It was painful but I was finally tied to him. I pinched my eyes closed and tried to relax. I held him tightly to my cheek and rode out the wave of pain. It all happened so fast. After he was finished he stood to straighten his clothes. “Straighten your skirts,” he commanded.
I stood up slowly, trying to ignore the pain. I shifted my skirts and checked my hair. My face and lips felt swollen. There was no way I could enter my home looking the way I did. Tears pinched my eyes. I loved him. He sighed and stepped up to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and used the other to wipe away the tears.
“I’m sorry, love. I guess I got excited.”
“I am glad it happened but I expected our first time to be on our wedding night, not before,” I confessed. “I thought it was illegal to do so before.
“Don’t be silly. You promised yourself to me. It is my right to take you when I see fit. Do you forget I am a judge? I am the law.”
“I see,” I sniffled.
“Dry your eyes, love. It will be better next time. You may even enjoy it,” he grinned. I plastered a smile on my lips.
––––––––
Months passed. Winter was over and spring was in full bloom. I loved the season. The air was still crisp but everything was growing. Samuel was right. Our intimate encounters did get better. He was still rough but my body began to accept his touch. This was not something I could speak to my mother about. I didn’t want her to know what we had done. I was still her pure daughter in her eyes.
I began to grow to love Samuel even more. I found myself in town looking for my wedding gift to him. I was on the outskirts of town when I heard the sounds of pleasure coming from the nearby woods. The moans the woman was making only peaked my curiosity. I lifted my skirts and approached. I was careful not to make a sound. I was also cautious not to be seen as I made my way into the darkness.
I snuck up slowly. I had to see who was making her moan in such a way. I brushed a thick bush out of the way and I saw them tangled up together. I couldn’t see her face but her red hair was long. My body became aroused at the sight of the man’s head between her legs. She was gripping his dark hair tightly as she bellowed into the darkening sky. Heat rose to my cheeks as I imagined Samuel doing the very same thing to me. I had never seen anything like it before.
Suddenly she froze and gasped. She sighed after a moment and giggled before releasing his hair. He lifted his head and smiled at her. That was when my world shifted. Samuel kissed the inside of her thigh and made his way up to her lips. I couldn’t move. My pained tears stained my cheeks as I watched him enter her. I couldn’t watch anymore. I ran all the way home. I hid inside my room contemplating what to do. I loved him with all I had.