I was still thinking about Alex and his hand squeeze as I thundered down the stairs, hoping that my clothes were done in the washer so that I could quickly put them in the dryer and wouldn’t be late to meet Sophie. I’d been blowing off everyone except for Alex and I didn’t want to lose my connection with the rest of the Student Scholars. Sophie seemed the easiest way back in.
The machines in the basement had minds of their own when it came to locking our clothing inside and spinning it around for an indeterminate amount of time before finally declaring their job done. Everyone in our group had tried to figure out if the washers had a cycle that could be a determined length of time, but the machines were totally random. Sometimes they took forty minutes; other times they boiled your clothing for hours, refusing to open no matter what button you pushed. This wouldn’t be too much of a problem, except if you weren’t there when your washer dinged its completion, someone else would drag your stuff out and leave it in a damp heap on the questionably clean folding table.
“There you are. I was beginning to think you’d abandoned your things.”
I froze in the doorway. Nicki sat cross-legged on top of the table. Sunshine from the narrow window near the ceiling behind her made it difficult to see her features. She uncrossed her legs, looking like a spider getting up to move in on something caught in her web. She paused on the edge for a second, then jumped down.
“You know, you’ve got to be careful. Places like this, there’s always some weird knicker sniffer who will steal your panties.” She winked.
I slowly reached down and patted my pocket. I didn’t have my phone with me. I’d left it upstairs. Nicki smiled at me as though she knew what I was doing. So much for recording her.
“I went ahead and put your stuff in the dryer. My treat.” If she was waiting for me to thank her, it was going to be a long time. “So, I have something for you.”
I took a step back, avoiding whatever was in her hand. “Whatever it is, I don’t want it.”
She didn’t seem bothered that I refused to take what she’d brought. Instead she just laid a tiny square of paper onto the table. “It’s the address. Where you’ll find my mum.”
I swallowed before speaking, doing my best to remain calm and remember my strategy. “I’m not doing anything to your mom.”
“My thought is that you could kill her later tonight,” Nicki said, as if I hadn’t even spoken. “I won’t be home, plus she started drinking early. She had a pitcher of mimosas going, saying friends were supposed to come over, but really it was just an excuse. She’s already tipsy and it’s not even noon.” Nicki rolled her eyes. “She thinks if she serves things in fancy crystal it means she can’t be an alcoholic. She’ll keep it up all day, which means by tonight she’ll be ready to pass out. She’ll be dead to the world.” Nicki giggled. “Well, not dead dead, but close enough for it to be easy for you.”
“I’m not breaking into your house.”
“Don’t worry, no breaking in is required. The door by the back garden doesn’t lock. It’s been broken forever. I suspect it will be the first thing the police notice when they come for her body. An unlocked door in this city?” Nicki shook her head as though she couldn’t fathom her mom’s stupidity. “It’s basically inviting trouble.”
She moved around the laundry room as if she were a general doing an inspection. “I can draw you a map of the house if you like, so you can find your way around without too much trouble. Look out for the third step on your way upstairs—it creaks. Hopefully you can make the whole thing look like an accident—that would be the best. I’ll leave it up to you. She takes a bunch of medication. If she’s totally out, you could drop a bunch of pills into her mouth—she’d swallow them without even knowing she’s doing it. Make sure you give her enough. I can’t have her waking up a few hours later with a wicked headache and having sicked up all over everything.”
Nicki bit her lip. “I think the easiest thing is to go upstairs and then make some kind of noise to lure her out onto the landing. When she’s by the stairs, give her a big shove. She’s got no balance when sober—I suspect when drunk she’d go ass over teakettle down those steps.
“It’s not like anyone would be exactly shocked that she fell. Last month she walked into a doorjamb and broke her nose. She tried to convince the doctor that she’d been running for the phone, but he didn’t buy it. The woman sweats Hendrick’s, for god’s sake.”
The smell of detergent mixed with the mildew in the basement was giving me a headache. I shook my head to clear it, but Nicki thought I was disagreeing with her.
She raised both hands as if surrendering. “If you don’t want to do it that way, that’s fine—it’s totally up to you. I’m simply trying to give you options. But remember, we’ve got neighbors, so you’ll need to keep things quiet.” The dryer buzzed and she opened it up. She pulled a few items of mine onto the table and tossed my jeans back in. She dropped in a few more coins, and with a lurch, the machine started up again.
“These things never get everything dry.” She started folding my clothes—tight, tidy shapes, as if she worked at the Gap. She took the tiny slip of paper with the address on it and placed it into the pocket of one of my shirts, patting it softly as though she were tucking in a small kid.
“You are completely unhinged.”
Nicki threw her head back and laughed as if I were joking. She held up my dark gray fleece. “I’d suggest wearing this. This morning I swapped out the bulb in the light above the back door for one that’s burned out, but our neighbor on the one side lights up their place like it’s a West End theater marquee. They aren’t too nosy—they’re used to my mum banging around in there, crying and whatnot—but they do keep an eye on things. Don’t slink around—if they see you being sneaky, they’ll call the cops. You know how paranoid old people can be. Don’t worry about the place on the other side of us—it’s up for sale and empty.”
I yanked my fleece out of her hands. My heart was thudding so hard I was surprised my shirt wasn’t billowing out with the effort of my heart trying to push past my ribs. “I don’t know how else to tell you this. I am not doing anything to your mom.” Even as the words left my mouth, I could imagine all of it in my head. Stepping into their backyard, the gate clicking softly behind me. Nicki’s house would be dark. I’d creep up the stairs, remembering at the last minute to skip the third. Then I’d stand over her mother, the smell of stale booze hanging like a fog in the room as I held a pillow above her face, steeling myself to press it down, crushing the air out of her.
Nicki cocked her head to the side. “But you promised.”
I grabbed my stuff on the table, then stepped past her to stop the dryer and grab the rest of my things. I didn’t care if they were still damp. She scared me. “I didn’t promise anything,” I told her.
Nicki blocked my way. Adrenaline flew like a sharp arrow to my chest. “Why are you acting like this?” she asked.
“I don’t want to see you ever again.” My voice sounded shrill in the empty room. If she attacked, I’d scream. I kept reminding myself there were people upstairs. Someone would hear me. Somehow Alex would hear me.
Nicki’s mouth tightened; she looked almost as if she was about to cry. “I don’t understand.”
She seemed sincere, but I wasn’t sticking around to explain. I moved past her out into the hall, half expecting her to grab me, but she stepped aside. My hands shook, barely able to hold on to the wad of clean laundry. “Leave me alone.”
I bolted up the stairs, but I could still hear her behind me.
“You know I can’t do that.”